Episode 5: A triangle with a little tail

Episode synopsis

In this episode, the contestants must bring in the thing that gives them the most hope for the future of humanity; be the third person to stop counting beans; find and complete the real task; get to know a person who alternately tells the truth, lies, and brags; get a tarpaulin into a container; do the most unpredictable thing after 500 seconds; and get the most forks into their buckets. The guest contestant is Ukra.

Title context

Nuno Markl describes the clothesline arrow to Gabriela Barrosas “a triangle with a little tail”, during the ‘Find and complete the real task’ task.

Taskmaster Intro

Cordial greetings, and welcome to this sort of TV candy box, where five Mon Chéri's with a crunchy topping end up being ruthlessly chomped on by my incredibly strong teeth, spilling, in my ravenous taste buds, their fine liquor of anguish, trauma, and humiliation. Ladies and gentlemen, this... is Taskmaster!

Note: Mon Chéri (French for 'My Darling') is an international chocolate praline brand produced by the Italian Ferrero company.

Contestant Intros

Let’s open the Mon Chéris box, and let’s applaud these five sweets.

Applause for Ana Garcia ‘Pipoca Mais Doce’ Martins!

Note: Ana’s social media brand name is Pipoca Mais Doce (‘The Sweetest Popcorn’), and she is more often referred to by her nickname, Pipoca (‘Popcorn’) because of this.

Applause for Gilmario ‘Filadagoda’ Vemba!

Note: ‘Filadagoda’ is an Angolan slang term for ‘son of a bitch’, and is also Gilmario’s Instagram handle (with a few extra ‘A’s).

Your love for Gabriela ‘IS THIS IT?!’ Barros!

Note: Vasco is referring to Gabriela’s legendary attempt at the ‘Guess Shoe’ task in season 3, episode 5, from which her increasingly desperate cries of “IS THIS IT?!” became a meme in Portugal.

Kudos to Pedro ‘For the love of god, stop calling me Bino’ Alves!

Note: Pedro plays Albino ‘Bino’ Jesus on the telenovela Festa é Festa (‘Life is a Party’).

Our special guest is called André Filipe Alves Monteiro, but the whole world knows him as King Ukra!

Note: Ukra is known largely by his nickname, given to him in his youth due to his thin blonde hair giving him the appearance of someone from the Ukraine, which was then shortened to ‘Ukra’.

Assistant Intro

Next to me, a man who, earlier, confessed to me he’s not sure the Earth isn’t flat, since only the astronauts saw it from the outside, and even they, he said, staged it — what they called ‘the moon landing’ — in one of the astronaut’s garages. Despite this, we love him. Your love, and your applause, for Nuno Markl!

Taskmaster's Sign-off

Why so serious? Drop the façade, go all in!
Take off that robe and make love to a tarpaulin.
Then fold it fondly, as if it were a mantle.
‘Your hair smells so nice!’. ‘I know, it’s the Farandol.’
Look carefully for the task, look everywhere you’ve got.
And be careful too, with what might peek when you squat.
In this family show, everyone gets won over.
A Jaime is a Manuel, and an anexo is a xenoa.

Note: Farandol is a type of temporary hair dye that was very popular in Portugal in the 1980s.