I hope this doesn't come as a surprise, but you're watching Bäst i Test.
The show meant to determine the national fruit-bucket throwing champion.
Once the last banana's been swung--
--one proud owner will earn one night's company with my golden bust.
And our prospective champions are:
The inimitable improviser, Charlotta Björck!
The chaotic creator, Mauri Hermundsson!
The free-spirited freelancer, Behrouz Badreh!
The masterly mime, Maria Lundqvist!
And the thunderous thespian, Johan Petersson!
And once this train's left the station we will, among other things, get to see this:
- Here I come! - Micke Persbrandt. Do you know who I am?
- Hang on, hang on! - Chickpeas!
Ah, what the hell!
- Just jiggle it a little! - Behrouz special.
Hello, panellists. You ready for a new episode tonight?
- Yeah! - Dang. You're stoked.
Mauri, does this show let your fans see new sides of you?
Yeah, I think so. It's not like... I'm that gifted.
Which, in this environment, gets very obvious.
And with him behind you all the time.
I've sat here for eight years. I know exactly what you mean.
Charlotta, could you sum up your experience in one word?
- Disaster! - Disaster? Okay.
And by my side something small, plump, cuddly and cute.
I'm referring to Uppland's very own answer to the Vietnamese mini-pig -- David Sundin.
Whoa! Thank you, thank you. Babben, thank you, thank you. Wow.
I never tire of your dulcet tones, Babben.
And tonight I think you'll be very happy, possibly even slightly proud--
--when you hear all the stuff we're going to get up to.
- Just to name a few... - David, you should've learned by now.
- It's very important to just get going. - Babben, I'm constantly learning.
Well then, here comes the first test. It starts, and ends, with an apple.
- Hi, David! - Hullo.
- Look at that balance. Hi, David. - Hullo.
- Should I read the letter? - Marvelous idea, Johan.
Oh my god.
"Remove the apple from David's head."
No...this is going to hurt, David.
"You may not enter the ring. If David says 'ow', you're disqualified."
"The fastest person to remove the apple from David's head wins."
"You have ten minutes. Your time starts now."
Right. So, the goal here was to get the apple--
--to leave the safe space constituted by the top of my head.
But you were absolutely not allowed to enter the ring--
--or do anything that'd cause me to say 'ow'.
Which William Tells are we starting with?
None other than the apple-cheeked Mauri.
Alright, fuck! I've gotta get to the shed...
- We've got duct tape...you okay, David? - What'd you say?
- What? - What?
- Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah.
Ah, what the hell...
Three minutes have passed. Three minutes have passed!
Here I come! David? I'll stand in the front, so you won't get scared.
Damn, this is just barely...
- You've got long arms, too. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No! - Five minutes to go.
No!
Alright! ...Why'd I grab this tape?
No, god. Running one more time.
Two minutes left. When time's up, I'll get up and leave.
It feels like we're onto something now, at least.
It lifts itself!
One minute.
- What a thriller. - No!
Yeah!
Ah, so good! Nailed it.
Good work.
Mauri, tremendous stamina workout. You went back and forth down to the shed.
It didn't look good, but it worked.
- It looked like it took a while, David. - Accurate observation.
Mauri went at it for nine minutes and eight seconds.
Which apple-thieves are we watching up next?
I was thinking I'd take two people known for their finesse and quick-witted thinking...
But we don't have any of those.
Instead, we'll check out Behrouz Badreh and Charlotta Björck.
I'm here behind you.
- Just have to make it fall off? - Yeah.
- I'm going to get the head off...apple. - The apple. Not the head.
No, wait...what does "ow" mean?
- If something touches you, will you say 'ow'? - No, but if something smacks me.
- I don't want to hurt you. - Because that'll disqualify you.
- If I say... - Oops. I put a foot in the ring.
- I appreciate your honesty, at least. - But I didn't enter the ring.
- ...'cause it doesn't hurt. - I don't know how that feels.
- Have I used that? - That's the original stick.
Dammit!
Something soft to throw... I've got no idea.
If you throw them really hard...
Ah, so damn close!
Almost a slight frisbee-vibe to this.
- Yes! - That's good, throwing it in his face.
- Ow. - No!
That didn't hurt! I've got super soft balls.
God, I'm so bad at aiming.
So from the very first ball, you've done your very best?
- Well, if you're messing around... - Messing around?!
- If you've consistently been... - My entire body's breaking!
- Ow. - No!
You can say 'hit', but it doesn't hurt. You can't say 'ow'.
Hit.
Some of them have been super close.
There! I wasn't inside. I moved the ring.
God!
- You could've saved yourself a lot of time. - Yeah.
- It didn't hurt. Thanks. - Good work.
...I'm so damn stupid.
Damn, that's smart.
Yes, Charlotta, one more person getting some exercise.
What's the difference between one foot in the ring and entering the ring?
- I mean--the majority of me was outside. - We've got evidence, Charlotta. That doesn't hold up.
- I don't get it. David said "ow". Like, there's a lot of-- - Yeah, but it didn't hurt.
Ah, he's generally delicate. What times did they get?
Charlotta removed the apple in six minutes and three seconds...
But she incited 'ow'...
...which actually doesn't matter, since she also entered the ring. First thing she did, actually.
Unfortunately, Charlotta is disqualified for flagrant rules violations.
Ah, that's so mean.
But Behrouz hit after two minutes and six seconds.
- And with that, he's currently in the lead. - Nice job, Berra!
But as long as Johan and Maria are loose, he can't rely on that lead.
- Exactly right. Here they come. - Exciting.
Are you resilient, David? In general.
- Not particularly, I'd say. - Not particularly?
- Should we play a game? - A game? Sure.
You're going to say yes or no. My name is David Sundin.
And you can't speak, you can only nod.
- Yes. - You can nod a bit stronger, actually.
- I risk dropping the apple then. - No, you won't.
- Do you want to drop the apple? - No, no, no.
Show me, let me see. Do you want to drop the apple, David? No.
- Can I move the ring? - Yeah.
- What? - No!
"You may not enter the ring." Ah, what the hell--
Did I solve it?
- So I did. - Good work.
That was quick. I'll take the ring and go.
This is fun, David! Fun thing.
Ah, Johan, there it is. I don't think I've ever seen you that happy in your entire life.
I wish everyone gets a moment like that at some point.
On Bäst i Test, you want one moment like that.
- This set a pretty breakneck pace, right? - Yes indeed.
Maria also had the idea to move the ring and made it in 1 minute and 48 seconds--
But the very fastest was Johan, with a mere 22 seconds!
- Nice, Johan! - I'll sum it up, then.
Zero points for Charlotta, who was disqualified.
Two for Mauri, three for Behrouz and four points for Maria.
But tonight's first five-pointer: Johan Petersson!
Right, then. I've got a slight craving for a team test.
How marvelous that that's exactly what we've got lined up.
As usual, one team is reinforced by Anders "Ankan" Johansson.
Or--'reinforced' is a strong word. Roll the tape.
- We'll have to practice that. - Okay.
"Place half of your hands on half of your hips."
"Leave them there until the test's finished." I don't get it.
"The hands may only touch the hips until the test is finished."
- Place half of your hands? - One hand on one hip.
Not your right hand, then.
Yeah, or if one's got two and one's got one, and one's totally free!
Could be.
I think that's amazing or terrible.
You have to put yours on his. It's your half. You, that.
- But what if we do it like this? - Kind of moving in a line.
Should we move down, then?
- Never let go, now. - No.
"With hands on hips at every point in time, place as much--"
"--liquid as possible in the toilet bowl."
"You may not enter the house. You have ten minutes."
- "And your time starts now." - Alright, come on, then. Let's go.
Or what?
Right. The goal here was to fill the toilet bowl with as much liquid as possible.
The whole thing was complicated by half of the team's hands--
--needing to stay on half of the team's hips.
The question isn't if Johan's initial idea was pretty good after all.
- One player having two hands free. - It would've been perfect...
But both teams are now connected in a chain.
Which makes the whole thing very fair.
On the other hand, something that wasn't fair was that both teams had a mole.
No. Was it you, Maria?
No!
How could you do this?! That's why you did what you did!
"Sabotage your team in a discreet way during the test."
"If your team loses, you win. Otherwise, you get no points."
- "If you're accused of sabotage..." - "You get no points."
Right. So, Mauri and Maria's goals were to get their teams to fail.
Isn't this exciting?
Failure has, after all, turned out to be both Mauri and Maria's strong suit.
- Excited to watch that. - Very excited to watch that.
Excited to the extent that it's worth waiting a moment.
In the break, those at home should balance a pencil on your forehead--
--while standing up.
The fastest person to go from sitting to standing with the pencil remaining is the winner.
And we're back, with two teams who urgently need to fill up a toilet.
Cooperation's important, since the team--
--must have half of their hands on half of their hips throughout the test.
And what makes this so exciting is that Mauri and Maria--
--are going to try to sabotage their teams.
So keep your eyes peeled for how the moles, Maria and Mauri--
--execute their very best small-scale sabotage.
Here come all the teams, all at once.
- We'll get the hose. - Check out the bathtub there.
- But look, here to the left. - Look, look, look!
- Ah, it's not good that we're standing like this now. - We'll get the cans...
And we'll get the bathtub, and pour it into there.
- Look at that leer! - Is there water in these?
- There's no water there. - There's no water? Oh, please.
- Are you going to turn on the water there? - Ah, dammit...there's no tap.
- We've got water here. - That's not water, that's juice!
- Doesn't matter, it's liquid. - Oh yeah--it says 'liquid'.
- I'll pour it over here. - Easy, easy...
As much water as possible in the toilet.
- In the toilet bowl. - Yeah. ...You're turning into a secretary, here.
Liquid, liquid. Just have to go for it.
- We'll--we'll sort this out. Come on. - Should we grab a wrench?
- Dammit! - Oh, oh--
- There's another watering can. - Yeah. Alright.
Hang on, my blouse is stuck.
It's stuck...it's stuck to this thing that you pull.
Hang on...come back, come back. Dammit-- it's loose, now. It's loose now.
Don't let go, Mauri.
Let's bring the hose back.
Here's water. Here's liquid.
- Nice! - There.
Do you think we'll stay in touch afterwards?
Wait, wait, wait...
Fuck! ...Alright, now there's water!
- We'll never get there. - Sure we will. Look at that pressure.
Look what you're doing--
- Run! - Come on, come on...
- No, the pressure's bad. - Dang, the pressure's so bad...
- No! Wait, wait! - Good, good, good...
There. Where's more water?
- Investigate the car tires. - Oh, if one of us was free this'd be so much faster.
- We'll go for them. - No--no! ...I let go of my hip!
Are you filming?
- Then what happens? - We can just keep going.
But when'd it happen?! I didn't even notice.
There's another watering can there, I saw it on the way down.
- Yes! - What?!
- Run, run, run. - Hang on, hang on!
The hose is stuck!
- There's 20 seconds left! Come on! - Hold my hand!
Open! Just open it!
Just shake it a bit, then!
Yeah! There.
Like, I'm so sorry. I think I tore my pants.
We'll do what David does.
- We weren't any better than this. - We were great.
- This is still pretty good. - No, it's terrible!
Come on, let's go dry off.
Yes, Maria transformed this test into one long slapstick farce.
- Berra, I could tell from your face you had opinions. - I was so damn mad.
I had Ankan to the left of me, Maria falling over every other step...
Did it never occur to you she might've been doing it on purpose?
I don't know. I was nice, thinking: "It doesn't matter. What the hell is she doing?!"
Alright. Mauri, you were a lot more discreet. What did you do to sabotage your team?
I mostly giggled into a camera about being mischievous. I did nothing, I realize that now.
You made sure everyone ended up in a line, and that was a deciding factor.
Points for this?
Maria the mole ensured her team lost--
--which gives her three points.
And then we have moley Mauri, who failed to sabotage--
--which gives him zero points.
Behrouz was a member of the losing team, which also gives him zero points.
And then we have Johan and Charlotta, who won the team with the most liquids.
And thereby cash in three points each!
It's all incredibly confusing. I just have to trust my assistant.
- What's the totals like so far? - Mauri's starting out slow with two points.
Then we've got Berra and Charlotta with three points.
Maria has nothing to be ashamed of with her seven points.
But in the lead we have Johan, with eight points!
- Yeah! Good, good. - A decent spread. Very exciting.
- And the next test? - Ugh--wait. I think I'm not feeling well. Oh...
- Cut it out. - No, I was just faking. I'm not really sick. But!
On the wings of coincidence, it's time for our contestants to fake something.
- Whoa. Already? - Uh...yeah.
Well, howdy.
- David. - Hello!
Cake?
- Is it princess cake? - I don't think so.
- Is there no letter here? Is this the letter? - Yeah.
Oh! This is what I'm supposed to open!
- No! - Okay. "Fake something."
"The person who fakes something best wins."
- "You have 20 minutes." - Fake something?
Something you think it is, but it isn't.
Or something.
Right. So, the task here was to fake something. Anything.
Sort of like I just did, when all of you fell for me feeling a bit under the weather.
Who's up first?
Behrouz the bluffer, Charlotta the charlatan and Johan the japester.
What are we going to fake, David?
This gives me the urge to call someone and tell them something that isn't true.
Maybe I should make a hamburger of some kind.
- Which isn't a hamburger? - Exactly!
Is making, like, a movie allowed?
We'll put your clothes on a mannequin, and toss it down the balcony.
Next clip. Boom! There you are. Blood everywhere.
- Yep, yep. - And people think you've died.
- Damn, that's a quarter pounder. - I think it looks pretty realistic.
- So who are you going to be? - I could be... ...Zlatan.
I could call a doggie daycare.
Hi. I've got a huge dog. Fastest dog in the world.
Can I leave it with you? Can you manage that?
- Are those ketchup slices? - No, cocktail tomatoes.
- Mm, it doesn't fit great. - As long as it looks cool.
And you also put these on.
You put these on.
- Oh god, that's so good! - There. A Behrouz special. Bon appetit.
Let's just go for something. I'll call.
- Welcome to Stockholm parking. - Hey, this is Micke Persbrandt.
Hey, I'd like free parking for a long Porsche. Big damn Porsche. Could you do that?
No.
Then this consists of sponge cake...
No. Bread, lettuce, tomato, meat, and onions.
- No dishrag at all? - No.
Micke Persbrandt. Do you know who I am? I was Björn in the Hobbit-films, they edited me out.
I need to catch a break. Can't we sort out free parking?
Well, come into the office and we'll see what we can do.
God damn, aren't you sweet. I'll do that. Thanks. Kisses. Bye.
Wow!
- Might taste like hamburger, too. - We'll find out soon.
- It doesn't look too juicy. - What?
It might've been on too long. Might be a bit dry.
- It was really dry. - Mhm. I think this'll help you.
- How do you feel now? - It was sweet.
Feeling ready? Yeah, you can stand casually.
Let's go. David, I'm sorry. I can't do the test.
- Yes. - No, I can't.
- Yes. - What do I have to do to get out of it?
Cut!
Yeah. That's how it goes, David Sundin. You can do your own tests.
God damn, that's good.
Makes you envious. You got to live out what others only dream of...
- Pushing him off a bannister. - Gotta seize the day.
Behrouz, that did still look tastier than most of what you get in a drive-through.
- You eat with your eyes first, don't you? - Yeah. I'd like to see more faked things, now.
You certainly will. It's time for Maria to elevate her artistry.
It makes you think that I can leap vast distances.
You understand? I do ballet, and then I do this.
And then I can hang somewhere, and do this with my feet.
That's a good thing to fake.
- It's still nice to... - You're so creative.
- Yeah, that's not a bad idea. - Tight-fitting dance...
You could just raise one hand, and that makes me leap up.
And we'll clinch it by rigging something, so we can edit in feet doing this.
Yeah, but it's tricky. We'll do it against the grass here. Come on, David.
Now...
...you'll get to see a leap I've never shown anyone before.
Alright.
A dance leap? Dance leap.
- Wow! - Whoa. What a leap.
- It was like you never even wanted to land. - I know.
Yes, Maria. Some flexibility there.
- Are you an old balleteuse? - Yeah.
- I've often imagined. You've got these elegant arms. - It's just embedded, it was...
Ah, there was no need to show that!
Some lovely bruises turned up under my arms, but what wouldn't one do for a forgery.
- Good work. Do we have time for another contestant? - Time, time...time is relative.
But we'll treat ourselves to a tiny break first. See you soon.
Welcome back. We've just seen Charlotta hurl David off the balcony.
- And yet, here you are. - Incredible. Movie magic, huh?
Anything for you. I'll never let you down.
The test revolves around faking something in as convincing a way as possible.
And here he is, the faker's faker. Mauri the macabre.
- 30 seconds have passed. - Yeah, settle down. The idea's the important thing.
Like this, you've ever done this? And then just--pow...
- Ow! - Pretty good.
You did it for real now. No, you actually hit me.
Yeah, yeah. ...Matter of fact, I did.
- I'll do you, then. One, two, three. Wait, wait-- - You're hitting for real, too.
You--you go like this beforehand. Right?
- And that wasn't fake. - No.
...I don't want to play anymore.
We're going to fake a news report.
- Just five minutes to go. - That's attached...
- But what about the height? - That's right...
There? I need a suit. Is this your suit, or...?
- It was the only one available. - That's right.
You do a little news jingle and I'll start.
Welcome to The News. It's 19 o'clock, and we'll start with local news.
The Persian comedian Behrouz Badreh is dead--
--after eating too much of the Persian meal, salad shirazi.
We here at The News think that's a shame.
But it's so tasty. Cevapcici.
We've got time, right? I have to reconsider. We can edit this a bit.
Foreign news.
Finland's Prime Minister, Tarja Halonen...is dead as well!
Ah, no. Misery loves company, as we say here at The News.
And this brings us to the weather.
Some weather we're having, as we say here at The News.
Three, two, one, zero.
That's all for today.
Ah, dammit, that's good. God damn, that's good.
Then we've seen all five fake something.
Babben, I'd like to ask you to judge who you thought faked the best.
- I'll say...I'm sorry, Behrouz, but-- - Don't look at me like that.
- One point for this burger. - What?
Two points for Johan. Hand on heart, no one really fell for it.
Three points for Maria. You were standing too close to the tree, it was obvious.
Four points for Mauri, who made a convincing news broadcast.
And five points for Charlotta for a vivid piece of acting work.
She made the mannequin look as lifeless as David.
Charlotta, Charlotta, Charlotta!
Time flies when you're having fun. It's time to get bored.
We're in the middle of the show, meaning we can take the opportunity to zone out a bit--
--while this blue-clad fellow next to me manspreads orally to everyone's dismay.
Here he is. David Sundin.
What?! Wow! Thank you, thank you.
And it's true--I am blue-clad.
In this popular segment up next, we'll get to know one of our contestants a bit better.
Which is why a lot of people join us at this point, halfway through the show.
- They skip the start. - Get to the point.
Alright. Thanks, Mauri. Today, I'd like to talk to none other than...
Maria "Lunky" Lundqvist!
Congratulations. It's great that you're here. We all think so.
We've seen you...for our entire lives, you've been there.
Yeah. At least for Berra's.
- You've been in movies. - Yes, a lot of them.
And TV. Could be humor, could be serious.
There's even been some singing.
And what joins this all up is that there's been a perfect threshold of originality.
It's not too low, not too high.
You've surfed on by with a perfect average.
You may also have written a poem or two?
- I'm sorry? Have you? - Yes, I've done that as well.
It's really nice that you're into all this stuff, with poems, thresholds of originality, and so on.
Because it's namely time to play 'Mediocre Poem'!
Yes, it's time to play Mediocre Poem.
Maria, you've got a letter in--the letterbox, I was about to say. It's right behind...
"Write an anonymous and mediocre poem for Babben."
"The height of mediocrity, meaning the third best, wins."
Fun! "You have 100 seconds to write your poem."
"Your time starts on David's cue."
With these old typewriters this might get a bit clattery, so we've got noise-cancelling headphones.
- What's the 'Enter' on this? Like, jumping down? - You pull that.
- Didn't you have typewriters at school? - What'd you say?
- Didn't you have typewriters at school?! - I wasn't born in 1971.
Okay! Your time starts...
Remember now. There's two factors. So, not writing too well...
I can see that some of you are in the zone. You have to get out of it right now, so it doesn't get too good.
But don't get too far out of it, because that'll make it bad.
- Johan's satisfied with 15 seconds to go. - He looks truly mediocre. It's going to be good.
On my whistle, you have to stop writing. 10 seconds left...can you hear me?
Five, four, three, two, one...
- Time to recite the poems, right? - Yeah, so that we can grade them.
And we have a very special guest who's going to read the poems for us.
It's a great honor to be able to present one of Sweden's foremost--
---and best actors. Marie Göranzon!
Right. We'd like to hear the first poem, please.
Lovely maiden, ye
are born within the sea.
Not up a tree.
The sun...the sun is something that is.
Pears also are.
Babben is, too.
There are...many things.
Oh, how mediocre!
She's funny, witty, and always gabbin'.
She is...
...azzur zardus brasdu brasa!
Babben, my entertainment frump.
You work hard with David, that's probably a slump.
I'm sure the boatload of cash is a motivation bump.
Hugs and kisses from another chump.
Yeah!
Vriisidagrs...
We are blue. The grass is green.
- The sun shines. The jobs are nice. - Babben. Babben, not 'the jobs'. Turned out wrong. I'm sorry.
Well, that's everything.
Thank you, Marie Göranzon, for volunteering to do this.
- Magnificient. - Thank you very much.
Right. So it's time for me to judge this, which poem was the most mediocre.
I'm looking at them right now. I'll start at the bottom.
And I might think number five ends up in the lowest strata. It was worse than mediocre, actually.
After that, I think the lovely maiden born within the sea is the best.
Which means Berra and Charlotta were the best respective worst.
One point each for you.
Babben being an entertainment frump, cash being a motivation bump...
That's the second best.
And putting one in the bottom, here...
This one with things that exist. The sun, pears and Babben.
The pear poem was Johan's, and Maria was the entertainment frump.
Three points for each of you.
And the utterly most mediocre was funny, witty, and gabbing.
Must be mediocre Mauri, then.
Yes, using the process of elimination -- five points for Mauri.
What are we competing for tonight, then?
Well, the person who wins tonight will get a free lesson--
--in the noble art of acting by Marie Göranzon herself.
Think that kicked the motivation up a notch. Got any tests to maintain the momentum?
I certainly do. Here comes a mighty, multitudinous and mainly maritime test.
- Hello! - Hi, David.
- Should I sit down? - That's fine.
- Like a CEO, about to make destinations. - We certainly will, too.
"Build an egg boat."
"Your egg boat should be able to transport an egg."
"You have three minutes to order five things."
"After that, you have 15 minutes to build your egg boat."
"Your five things must start with the same letter. But nothing boaty."
"Boaty."
"The fastest to cross the finish line wins."
"If the boat sinks or drops the egg, that's your result. Your time starts now."
- You decided on a letter? - No, I'm trying to think of a conceivably useful thing first.
Like, what if there's...a tiny inner tube, with a hole in.
And then some fabric.
All the things must begin with the same letter.
Tape's good. What the hell can you do with...
- Then I want an, uh... - No stress. Just two minutes to go.
- One minute's passed with nothing. Nonsense. - Nonsense? I'm thinking as hard as I can.
I'm thinking paper. You can fold a boat.
I was thinking rubber duck. Is that too boaty, or...
No, that's not too boaty. It's a rubber duck.
Piece of wood [träbit], tape...
- Scissors and duct tape. [silvertejp] - Scissors, duct tape...
A s...
- T, T, T! - Coltsfoot? [Tussilago]
- What's available for B? - Cotton and rubber duck. [bomull, badanka]
- Could I get a car tire, too? [bildäck] - Bathing slipper.
- Pythagoras' theorem? - No, I don't want that. I want...
- Paste? - That doesn't help.
Or wait, yeah, a pot of paste that we empty out!
One minute remaining in the delivery window.
- Shoebox! - Shoebox.
- Brunch. - Brunch?
And I want some wrapping paper, [silk paper] and I could go for a string.
- A plate! [tallrik] - Ping-pong balls. Ping-pong balls!
- Five, four... A balloon. 2-3 balloons.
- Five, four, three, two... - Tamarin?
Tamarin is a variety of primates from the Callitrichidae family.
- Yeah, I'll grab one of those. - Wow, this is gonna be great!
- Can I go? - Absolutely.
- Should I go? You want me to go. - Please do. I'd love that.
Right. So, the goal was to order the things you thought you needed for your egg-boat...
A small boat that can definitely transport an egg.
This'll be interesting to see. If you'll excuse me, I have to locate the bathroom.
Alright. ...Babben's gonna go poop. We'll have to take a break, see you soon.
Right! That was great. And we're back.
And when we last saw you, we were just about to start building egg-boats.
Right. You were allowed to order things which started with the same letter...
After which, you were to build something which transported eggs over water.
Like a boat, for example? Are the boats racing?
That's a not entirely uneducated guess.
But we'll start by taking a look at the boat-building.
Here they are. Tamarin, plate...
Paper, ping-pong balls, pen.
Bathing slipper, rubber duck, and brunch.
- Oh, that's what I smelled. - Oh, tasty!
- Do I build a boat now? - The time has come to build an egg-boat.
15 minutes starting now.
- ...What was I thinking when I ordered this? - Hard for me to know. You probably weren't.
- May I ask, how big is the water? - How big is the water?
Is it a tub of water? Is it a body of water?
Does this go--is it straight water?
...Is the water straight?
I mean is it like, hilly. Is it going to fall into things?
Hilly water?
I'll start with the brunch.
- If this egg breaks, do I get another, so I can try things out? - No.
It's coming together as an egg boat.
Well, look at that! I have some theory that this is going to float.
These are the floating-tools. The cotton's good for keeping the egg still.
- Ten minutes left. - Go in, goddammit...
Maybe I should make a tiny, tiny hole. ...That's not necessarily necessary.
In a boat, you can't have too many holes. As they say.
This feels crazy safe. ...or what?
Were you thinking you'd... inflate it, then just open it?
- Yeah, I was thinking... - The hell are you trying to do?!
Might also be necessary to make a small bottom.
This is the ornamentation. Needs to look pretty, too.
You also sail with your eyes.
There. The stick's attached, just have to attach the egg.
Come on! Come on! Come on!
...I think it survived, actually.
Oh, you eat like that.
- How do you eat pears? - I usually remove the stick.
Is this virgin or regular?
You've got it in there, then. And the egg rests...
- In the center, with wrapping paper surrounding. - A sea of wrapping paper.
Should this ride along, or...? That'd be nice, if he gets to come along.
- There's a seat belt. - It's more like he's...like, a hostage on the boat.
We'll put a little dollop in here.
And that's the liver paste which keeps everything together, yeah.
I have a very hard time picturing this failing.
Alright.
So there it is, in its entirety.
- There it is. - We have an egg boat.
- That's all I asked for. - Obvious egg boat.
So...in the eye of the inner tube, a balloon with an egg.
- Good work. - Thanks.
- Good luck in the big egg boat race. - That's right.
Right. Time for me to summarise.
So Charlotta emptied a packet of paste and placed some paper as sails...
And you filled a shoe box with wrapping paper.
Behrouz, you got your egg into this balloon.
But at least Mauri taped his egg down alongside a monkey and a stick on a paper plate and said:
"I have a very hard time picturing this failing."
Then we've got Johan, who had some brunch and put his egg in a bathing slipper.
Yeah, I had a lovely time.
But we do have to judge these in action. Shall we put them to sea?
We certainly can. The time has come for the grand egg boat race.
Over to Per Skoglund, who usually commentates horse races...
But if you're a pro, you can commentate eggs.
How dramatic.
[REGGATTA]
Yes, a warm welcome to the legendary stream.
The location and arena for this year's egg boat race! We move to David Sundin.
It's time to race.
Ready, set, go.
The name of the game is 50 meters freestyle.
And we're off! Look, he's flying out of the starting boxes.
Behrouz immediately obtains a commanding lead.
Charlotta's in tremendous trouble. Oh, oh, oh! Charlotta's gone!
- Go! Go! - Maria goes for a slightly calmer start.
Behrouz has a comforting lead halfway into the race.
The rapids are at their rapidest here, which Behrouz utilizes.
Meanwhile, Mauri was abandoned at the starting line. Not too surprising, with his rig.
Behrouz, look. He's got some distance to the rest.
They're interweaving with each other.
An umbilical cord strategy from Maria pushes Johan in front of her.
Behrouz's lead shrinks as we approach the finish line.
- He's losing it! He's losing it! - No! No!
Maria, who's snuck forward the whole way and pulled Johan, is on her way past.
She certainly is. Johan's in the lead. Maria's making her way in from the outskirts.
- How is this happening?! - A spine-chilling few centimeters to go...
Maria's overtaking. She crosses over from the outside...
And wins, in a photo finish!
Yes, it's like I always say. Never judge the egg by the ugly vessel transporting it.
What strategy! What a magnificient effort by Maria.
Johan got in as number two.
And poor shoo-in Behrouz, who lost everything-- and we don't have to discuss Mauri.
Will we also get Behrouz across the finish line in a possible third place?
3...2,7...2,5...2...
And he's crossed it! Which means all contestants have almost reached the goal.
And now it's time for David to...what?
- Whose eggs are these? - Yes, that's the question on everyone's lips.
A thorough Video Assisted Referee-scan will determine which eggs remained up the creek.
Which we'll find out back in the studio.
This was just about the most exciting egg race I've ever experienced in my life.
- Mauri, quote: "It couldn't fail." - I shouldn't have added the tabasco.
No. The tabasco. And Behrouz's inner tube.
It was so damn promising. It was all so good. I don't get it.
- Do you think something about the construction got you stuck? - No, it's an inner tube. It's made to float on water.
And then a shoe box comes and passes me. I don't get it at all.
How about some points, Babben, to weave this all together?
Mauri's plate sunk immediately. You could tell.
Charlotta's boat capsized immediately, and the egg wound up at the bottom.
Then we had to analyze the rest. You were holding two eggs.
- Whose was the second egg? - Johan's.
That's correct. One point each for you three.
Behrouz, who was leading the race for a long time and looked like he was moving towards a surefire win--
--received a humiliating second place, and four points! That's still something.
But Maria sails home her first five-pointer. Congratulations!
- Good work. - Strong work from Maria.
We'll see if she keeps it up as we move onto the next test.
The time has come to spill the beans.
- Here I am. - No!
- What? - I'm not gonna eat any of that, am I?
- Hi! - Here's a can opener.
- Are you going to kill me? - Yes.
No!
Or...?
- I'll read this. - Yeah, that's how information's usually obtained.
Saves you from wondering, guessing and pondering.
"Spill the beans."
"Fastest person to spill the beans wins."
"You have 10 minutes, and your time starts now."
Yes, the goal was to spill the beans in as short a time as possible.
- Beans on the floor, and I stop the timer. - Just have to open the first can of beans, right?
Well, it's possible I may have been a bit sloppy with the labels here.
It may have been the case that not exactly every jar contained exactly beans.
We'll take a look at Johan and Behrouz.
"Your time starts now."
Haven't done this in a long time. Not since moving out, buying cans.
- This is timed. You get that, right? - There's beans.
...No, that's tomato!
This is tomato, dammit! What? I don't get this at all!
- So there's beans somewhere here? - We practically have to presume that.
- There's no goddamn beans in these. - How do you know there's no beans?
It's that it's red. This whole damn thing's tomato, isn't it?
How are you supposed to...? No, that's tomato.
- Are there any beans here? - It'd almost be mean otherwise.
Oh! There.
Now! I've got beans, now!
- Quiet, David! Quiet, now. - I didn't...
- Beans are spilled. - That's beans, right?
- That's chickpeas! Is that chickpeas? - It looks like chickpeas.
- Doesn't that count?! - No, it isn't beans, it's chickpeas.
- Ever heard of...Sisyphus? I think he was called. - The guy with the cans?
No, the stone. You roll it up a hill, and it rolls right on down.
How the hell am I supposed to find...?
- Got any strategy? - No.
- I don't get it. Did I miss something, or what? - The beans.
- I've started to lose my sense of smell. - That's the last thing we need.
What do you mean, 'we'? You're just standing there.
This is important business, too. Five minutes left, half the time...
- Running the same strategy? - What? Yeah.
I'm getting confused. Tomato's starting to smell like bean.
Could be dangerous, too, if it's white beans in tomato sauce.
- What...? You have that? - No...
- Do beans ever come with red sauce? - There's white beans in tomato sauce.
- Does that exist? - That does exist.
This one, then.
- This is exciting, huh. - Come on, goddammit...
- Is he going to find the beans or not? - This one's not red...this one's not red.
No!
I'm getting worse at opening the further we get.
Three minutes left.
- What's that? Is that beans? - That's beans.
Whoops! Spilled some beans.
- Are we done, then? - Yes! Good work. Fun.
Wasn't that tricky. Just had to open the can of beans.
- A minute and a half. - Dammit, that one's red too.
It's important to keep your mood up all the way.
- Strategy remains nonexistent. - Ah!
Five, four, three, two, one, zero.
- No beans? - No.
- Good work. - ...Dammit.
My god.
It does say. Babben's beans.
Right then, Behrouz. Luck isn't with you tonight.
Johan, what are you thinking?
No, that's all things I'd like to forget.
But this does make me really curious to see how the others did.
Can't we skip to that?
We can start by discussing how much time passed while these two completed the task.
Well, Behrouz might not have found any at all.
I'll tell you that much. As we've noticed, Behrouz isn't a fan of getting sticky--
He handled this so carefully that he didn't even find the beans before time was up.
Unfortunate. But Johan clocked in at 7 minutes and 5 seconds--
--before the can of beans was opened and subsequently emptied on the floor.
Seven minutes? That's right, we had ten.
Hard to tell if that's good or not, but we do have a few contestants left.
Charlotta, Mauri and Maria remain.
Are they quicker than Johan? Will they find the beans at all?
Will they manage to keep their spirits up? Yes, survivors will find out after the break.
Welcome back to "Bäst i test". We're currently spilling beans on a floor.
Absolutely correct, Babben. It may sound simple, but looks can be deceiving.
Let's take a look at how things went for Charlotta and Mauri.
I'm not great at this.
- This doesn't even work. - It does, if you know what you're doing.
- Can't I even get an apron? - This is just gonna get...
There's no way I'll manage to do this in time.
These aren't beans! This is passata.
David! Is your name David?
Why don't you listen when I talk to you? There's no beans in this.
- Spill. - Is that beans?
Yeah.
- ...What're you laughing at? - Want to taste it?
- What was it? - Tomato, I think.
No, it's pineapple! Is this pineapple?
- It looks like tomato. - It was pineapple, I think.
Where are the beans, then?
Isn't there a smarter way?
Let's go for best before-date. There should be different expiration dates.
2025, 2025, 2024, 2025, 2025...
There's another stamp on this. The beans are there, that's right.
...That's chickpeas, that's right.
- Confoundingly similar. - Yeah! Yeah.
What's this? This isn't pineapple.
- This isn't pineapple either. - Pineapple!
- 2025, 2025, 2025... - Here's another new stamp.
There's--that kind of beans. White beans.
- That's beans. - Was that right?
- Bye bye! - Charlotta.
One was from 2024. Alright, let's see here...
- There they are. - White beans in tomato sauce.
- Yup. - Good work.
- I don't feel great, I don't feel terrible. - Alright. Thanks for the analysis. Great. Bye.
You were entirely confident that that was pineapple.
- It was pineapple, though! You're kidding, right? - No, it wasn't pineapple. We promise.
- You tasted it, too. Did it taste like pineapple? - Yeah, it was pineapple!
Stop saying it's pineapple, Mauri. It's tomato. It's tomato!
They're laughing now. Did you eat it? No. Don't be so cocky! It was pineapple.
Alright, pineapple-man. What times did they get?
Charlotta spilled the beans after 3 minutes and 11 seconds.
But Mauri, he was almost twice--
--as slow.
His time was 6 minutes and 3 seconds.
Johan was at it for longer than 7 minutes, and Charlotta currently has the best time.
Yeah, I'd suspected.
- Only Maria to go. - Certainly is.
So, the goal for her now is to spill the beans faster than Charlotta.
"You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now." Spill how?
Spill some.
Oh. Okay.
These aren't beans. I knew it.
I knew it. Alright. We'll have to see if there's something...
- Smart! - No, you're so smart.
Alright. Aha!
I see an arrow, David.
Are you ready? Yes! Yes!
- The beans are spilled. - The beans are spilled.
- Under. You have to go under. - Yes, that was very nice.
Maria, you're all atwitter now. Very good work. Clever strategy.
- You're always supposed to go down below. - Yes, way down below. Go ahead and sum this up.
Behrouz spilled no beans at all, thereby earning one point.
Johan gets two points, Mauri three, Charlotta four...
And Maria nets her second five-pointer in a row!
Remember, Maria, if you win this...
The winner doesn't only get the honor and glory, but also an exclusive lesson--
--in acting with Marie Göranzon!
Hold onto this, Maria.
We want that. We want that.
I say as I usually do -- anything can happen and everything can change, because it's time for the finale.
Yes, the time has come for the finale.
A thrilling occasion. May I ask Mauri to read the instructional letter--
Could you read that for your co-contestants and the rest of us?
"Make your balloon land near Babben."
"You may not leave your mark. If your balloon hits Babben, you're out."
"The person whose balloon is furthest from Babben after each round is out."
"As long as no one else's balloon hits Babben that round."
"Your time starts on David's cue."
- Why isn't mine as big as Mauri's? - Not the first time you've said that, Berra.
It's to do with proportions and total length.
But it doesn't always apply. ...Like with me, for example.
- Why are we talking about this? - Berra started it.
It really has nothing to do with the test.
Let's get this party started. We'll start with Maria Lundqvist.
- Oh, oh, oh. - We'll move on to Behrouz. Go ahead.
A slightly shorter one from Berra, who may be eliminated. Here comes Johan.
- Johan! - Aim high.
- Whoa! - Touched the podium...
But did not touch Babben. Here comes Mauri.
Berra's the furthest away at present.
That actually is shorter than Behrouz. We can tell. Here comes Charlotta.
- That one's good! - As you can see...
...Mauri takes his place in the couch as we move onto round two.
We'll start with Charlotta.
- Bad luck. This is what you have to beat, now. - Dammit.
As you can see, it's stuck in the decor next to the lights.
- I think you're further away than Charlotta. - Yeah, well, of course I am!
Charlotta's back in the game. Here comes Berra.
- Come on! - It's just barely.
This brings us along to... here comes Maria's second balloon.
- It's still Johan, right? - I'm toast.
- Johan's out. Take your seat by Mauri. - Johan! Johan! Johan!
Here comes round three. We'll start with Behrouz.
- It's something. What it is, we don't know. - Come on, Charlotta.
- What is all this? Are you against me? - Maria, go ahead.
I want that course.
- It's good! - But who's...? Yes.
It's now Charlotta's turn to try to get closest.
Berra's the furthest away, and thereby is eliminated from this round.
We've now reached the finale of the finale.
It's down to Maria and Charlotta. Charlotta will start.
Close, but one hit and it's over.
It went on the ground for a bit, too. That one's close. That one's lovely.
- Here comes Maria. - Mia, god dammit...
- Look at that... - Moment of truth.
- It's exciting, now. - 49.
4-9.
48.
Maria's the one who brings home the finale as well!
Right, then. Let's tally this up and get back to our couches.
David, how'd this turn out? You've got the numbers and all that.
One point for Mauri, two for Johan, three for Berra, four for Charlotta.
And five points for Maria Lundqvist! Three five-pointers in a row.
- Three fives in a row, Maria. Wow! - That's a record.
If we then add these points to the rest--
--we can, once again, start from the bottom.
Which is Behrouz, with 13 points.
We've got Mauri with 16 points.
We've got Charlotta and Johan in a shared second place. 18 points.
Maria, with all these five-pointers, wins with ten more points--
28 points! Maria Lundqvist is tonight's winner!
Come on up, come on up! Here--and look at this...
- To your heart's content. - Oh!
I won you!
And what have we learned tonight?
If there's bad pressure in the hose, a mole might be standing on it.
Don't call Charlotta for an egg boat.
And if you don't have a bow and arrow, mushrooms will do just fine.
"Bäst i test" is available on TV4 Play.
And in one week we'll be back with a new episode. See you then.
Original subtitling: Johanna Svensson, Iyuno Translation: DangBream