[Translator's Corner: About the Taskmaster (Gert Verhulst)]
[Gert is a Belgian TV Mogul, known primarily for children's entertainment.]
[Expect lots of references to Gert's various Children's shows.]
[And lots of references to K3, a girl group with songs mainly for young kids,]
[which Gert founded. Gert also dated 2 members of K3 (out of 7 total).]
[Anyway, enjoy the episode! -/u/Sulimonstrum]
Tonight on the Brightest Light:
You'll see how Sven the Ridder knocks a cat out of a tree
He's gonna get it.
How Olga Leyers makes a fool of herself at City Hall,
And how Frieda van Wijck sticks a pineapple to her body.
And all of that for the enjoyment of this man.
My name is Gert Verhulst and this is The Brightest Light.
In this programme we'll be making a flock of Famous Flemish do things they'll be ashamed about for years.
So why do they keep showing up? Well, because we pay them a hell of a lot.
That's how famous Flemish do.
I still don't know how our contestants did, and nor do any of our contestants.
At the end I'll personally appoint a winner.
Who will be allowed to name himself "The Brightest Light" for one week.
It's going to be a great show, only our contestants could possibly mess it all up.
Please allow me to introduce them to you.
First and foremost: A woman who's in with a shot if I ever refresh K3,
The amazing Frieda Van Wijck! [TV/Radio Presenter]
Next up is a man who's funnier than Bumba, but Bumba speaks better Dutch than he does:
Here's the great Sven de Ridder! [actor]
Our third contestant is a young fawn who's as hoppity as Wizzy and Woppy, Maya the Bee, and my entire village of gnomes,
The ravishing Olga Leyers!
The fourth is the Mega Toby of the art of imitation and I do so admire him.
Truly, earlier he showed off his Guga Baúl imitation and it was so good.
Here is Guga Baúl!
And finally, our rotating guest for this evening.
He's a comedian who's so Moroccan that he brought his own tajine with him,
as well as his thirty siblings,
Kamal Kharmach!
Welcome, welcome everybody.
For the past few weeks I've been letting them all do a series of tasks.
And because I have a busy life myself, I hired an assistant to oversee the process.
Ruth Beeckmans!
Hello!
Ruth, You're beaming today. -Thanks Gert!
How do you do it?
I don't know, decent make-up? -Yes, and I propose we get started right away on our first task.
Our first task is the prize task.
All contestants have to bring a prize for the winner to win at the end.
This week I asked them to bring their hippest piece of clothing.
Hippest piece of clothing? -Yes.
Frieda, which hip piece of clothing did you bring? -Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, it's a curtain.
I bought this to bring to a wedding, not realizing you were supposed to put something on underneath.
Were you the bride? -No.
I assume that's the back of the piece, right?
No, no, that's the front. -Oh!
Are you serious? -At least her boobs will still be covered.
It's quite nice, no?
You got a cache-cœur. -You'll be able to win this.
Sven, did you bring something hip?
Absolutely. Now that bow-ties are back in fashion- -Are they?
They are, they're showing up everywhere. But I'm part of the counter movement actually.
So I'm feeling ties. -Ties?
They have to become fashionable again. This is actually a tie made by Jerry Garcia.
You can see the name on the back here. -The famous...
Jerry Garcia, famous musician, singer, guitarist of The Grateful Dead.
But it's not tied properly.
Well, you keep working on that while we look at what Olga has brought us.
I brought orange shoes!
The task was "Bring something hip". Not something...
Have you seen them? I bought these.
On the dike of Ostende. -Oh, you actually paid money for these?
I had to go to a disco party.
Yes. -If hip is defined as setting a new trend,
then I think I succeeded. Has anyone seen something like this before?
No, and quite right. I understand.
Guga, what did you bring? -I brought a tie as well. [tie = das]
Namely Adi-das shoes. Nah, I actually brought this.
*Puking noises* -Guga, take it away, my eyes are in pain.
I mean, not just your eyes. But I think it's beautiful- -What is it?
To this day I haven't figured that out yet.
I think it's one of those hi-vis jackets you have to wear when your car breaks down.
There you have it, it's multifunctional, so I think that's super hip.
Kamal, What did you bring? Or rather, what are you wearing?
I brought a Djellaba. Isn't it hip? It's super cool.
Beautiful, yes. -That's fashion.
Everyone is wearing one nowadays. Well, in Borgerhout anyway.
Gert, I think you'd like one. You wake up, put it on, and you're dressed right away.
What do you mea- -Isn't that all clothes?
-Hey, you know... -What do you wear underneath?
This thing.
Is it like a kilt, where you're completely bare ehh....
No, no, that's hardly hygienic, Gert.
Say, is it branded by AA Gent? [football club]
Yes, just in case you want to radicalize but still want Gent to become the champions.
I'm not completely sure it's hip right now, but maybe it'll be one day.
Well, it's very hip. -It's a beautiful piece.
Thanks. I'm taking it off now. It's getting too hot.
Gert, come on, I thought K3 was your type?
I can see where he's coming from.
Now it's Guga's turn to undress.
I'd say put it back on, really. This is hardly an improvement.
Let's score them. Who are you giving first place?
One point, easy. Guga. I'm sorry, but that's just indescribable.
After that, Sven's looking great there. Frieda's curtain nets her two points.
Frieda, I'm sorry. Then a massive disappointment... -No, no!
Yes, Olga. I think you can be very satisfied with three points. -I agree.
You're all ignorant!
I am certain of it. -Your djellaba brings you four points.
Congratulations. And quite justly, I'd say. -Jerry Garcia!
Sven, I absolutely think you brought the hippest piece of clothing.
Which earns you five points. -Thanks!
Nice, nice, nice.
Sven, enjoy this moment, you probably won't be in first place a lot.
Good. -Ruth!
Yes? -I propose we get started on our first 'real' task.
Because this was just some fooling around. -Quite right.
And now it's for real. -Yes. Our first task...
That was a task in which you lost your pet.
I lost my pet. -And it wasn't Samson. Let's take a look.
[TN: Samson is a talking dog puppet from Samson and Gert, Gert's first big children's TV hit]
Post. You've got mail.
Exciting.
It can't be?
-What?
Missing?
"Save the cat. Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
I hate cats.
"The cat responds to the name Sjoeke." -Sjoeke?
There she is. -Where is the cat?
Oh no.
Have you found her? -She's up there.
Where is the cat?
And...
go!
Where's that cat at?
So the first job is to find the cat and then you have to save her.
Sjoeke?
Sjoeke. -Where is she?
There she is. -No, that's not Sjoeke.
It was a very simple task, Gert. Simply "Save the cat".
And as you could see, it was a plushie named Sjoeke.
Most of our contestants caught on quickly...
But Kamal and Frieda didn't, they had to go searching for Sjoeke first.
I'd like to emphasize here that the task said Sjoeke needed saving, just getting her out of the tree is insufficient...
Because I'm very attached to my... what's her name again? -Sjoeke.
Sjoeke. So it absolutely had to be a rescue. She had to survive.
First let's look at two lovely ladies: Olga and Frieda.
There's a sign, Sjoeke missing.
"Sjoeke. species: cat." And that's the animal I have to find.
You're getting dressed?
Yes, I'm going climbing, so I'm putting on some pants.
How sturdy is an ironing board?
One has to wonder what Gert gets up to in that caravan.
Do you know the size of
the kitty? Is it this small, or...?
It's an average kitty.
It's a life-size kitty.
That won't work. -My, you're heavy.
I've got something in my eye. -What's this?
Well, here we are.
Almost there.
Let's amble about the garden for a bit.
Are we ambling? You've got your cane at the ready.
Sjoeke?
Could you help out by saying "hot, hot, cold, cold"?
It's fairly chilly.
I've found something. -What did you find?
Brushes.
What are you up to?
I've got a plan
Save me... -Beware the burning heat, Frieda.
Is it just... -Watch out.
Is it just the paper?
Oh, there. Yeah. that'll...
have to become a javelin throw, I think.
No.
17 minutes.
Come on, Sjoeke. -Why?
What's the hook for?
Do they have a hose here?
Are you going to spray that cat? -I intend to.
Let's have a look how far we can get with this.
I'm afraid that won't reach.
Watch out.
Come on, stupid animal.
36 minutes, Olga.
Kitty is saved.
Kitty is dead. -Such a shame.
We're approaching the 40 minutes mark.
Dead.
You're still alive, aren't you? "Yes..."
Well... -They weren't that skillful, our girls.
It was a journey through the wonderful world of Frieda and Olga.
Quite peculiar. Frieda, you let my cat tumble down from 4 meters high.
What would you think if I did the same to your cat?
I wouldn't know, but cats always land on their feet. -Yes, I agree.
Olga, such a beautiful pipe-based construction. -Yes, very special.
With some sort of hook at the end.
At first is was just a short hook. The long pipe came later.
I wanted to hook myself in the tree and pull myself up.
Yes... -Come on man, you asked and I explained.
Sorry, dozed off for a bit there.
In any case, both of them took... -A long time.
Ridiculously long. Frieda took 21 minutes enand 55 seconds to save Sjoeke.
That's not- Seemed like it took a lot longer. -Yes, and Olga took...
Well, let's just round down to 43 minutes.
Did the gentlemen do any better?
I propose we look at Kamal's attempt first...
Why Kamal first?
Because it took him 30 minutes to find the cat.
But after those 30 minutes he immediately got a brilliant idea.
I was afraid that would happen
I've got an idea. If I hook this up to the tap,
and then just spray Sjoeke down the tree at full force.
Come on, Ruth, we're saving a cat.
That's the length you have available, Kamal. What do you think?
Could work if it sprays very hard.
So?
Got any extensions?
Look at what I found you. -You absolute darling.
This'll work.
Maybe close the valve first?
Did you get it?
Careful now.
Okay, where is she?
Three, two, one...
Come on.
Come on cat, come on.
Just barely.
Come on, Kamal.
Come on.
How come everyone's able to do that? I can't.
Come on, Kamal.
Yes!
I think your beam isn't powerful enough.
Got a high pressure washer?
Here we've got the big guns. Turn it off already.
That's attached, isn't it?
I still have to turn this part.
I just wanted to get a cat from a tree.
Fire away. -Okay.
After 52 minutes, we're now ready for our ultimate attempt.
Kamal, are you ready? -Absolutely.
Ruth, watch out.
Man, come on!
Kamal, I'm not having fun anymore. -Okay, wait. Time for plan B.
What's plan B? -This is plan B.
Come, we're going home. We're just going home.
The others can have the points. As long as we're still friends?
We are.
I'm fed up. I'm done with it. I can't look at that cat anymore.
Yes, Kamal. Sorry, that's undeserved applause. I'm very disappointed.
Well, you see, that's just-
Why doesn't a pressure washer work?
Well, because, something to do with physics.
You were there, you had a front row seat. -Yes, I had to live through it all.
Tiring, surely? -It was awful.
Kamal, you're not just a quitter, you're the slowest quitter in the world.
From now on just quit as soon as possible.
I had to watch you for one hour and twenty minutes, Kamal.
At one point water literally came out of my ears.
As well as my butt. -Huh?
That's not attached properly. That's the problem.
It's broken.
Well, scoring this will be easy.
You gave up, so you'll be disqualified for this task.
I agree. -Oooh!
But there are still two cat saviours left.
Yes, there are still two male powerhouses remaining.
And I recommend we watch the little guy first.
Make sure she survives, Sven. -A cat always lands on her feet.
Not if you knock her out first. -No.
Do you do any tennis? -Sorry?
Do any tennis? -What?
Dae ya dae eney Tennis?
That's what I figured.
The modern man. Don't throw that. -No, I won't.
Just barely short.
I just can't reach it. This is unfair. Guga is two meters taller than me.
What did you see?
Watch out!
Any thoughts? how much is left?
A big chair's length?
Stay safe, tiny.
Damnit, for god's sake.
He's so gonna get it. Watch out.
It'd appear there's some aggression surfacing now.
Yes! -Catch it!
The task seemed clear enough, "Save the cat."
Yes, but just like Frieda said: "A cat always lands on its feet."
But I swear I heard you yell- -Not if you knock it out first!
I heard you yell "She's gonna get it."
Yes, I absolutely had to get her, because I'm not a quitter.
No, that's obvious. -Just an animal abuser.
My kitty was mistreated quite badly. -Isn't it awful?
And the abuse took a whopping 17 minutes and 34 seconds.
That's not much! -That's so quick!
And then there was... Guga.
Damnit.
Barely short.
Will you be brushing the cat as well?
Always clean your cat after use.
Careful, watch his butt.
Damnit. Why am I still short?
Amazing that you can keep hanging there, snuggles. Hey, kitty.
Catch her, catch her!
And he took... -Yes...
Two minutes and fifteen seconds! -Yes.
Finally!
But what I especially noticed about Guga's attempt,
Was the tender way in which he caught my kitty cat.
Taking that into account, how are the scores?
Four points to Sven, three points to Frieda, two for Olga.
No points to Kamal. -Come on, Ruthie!
Rightly so. -And the main prize goes to your cat's true saviour:
Guga. -I'm sending you my cold sores with love.
Which leaves us with the following standings:
Kamal drops to last place,
but our small Jerommeke is in first with 9 points: Sven de Ridder!
[TN: Jerommeke is a character from the Suske en Wiske comics - a short super-powered caveman]
Congratulations, Sven.
That's all for now, in part two you'll get to see a song, a dance, and... pineapple!
See you soon!
Welcome to part two of The Brightest Light.
In part one you saw how Kamal soaked my cat,
and yet you are still watching! You're amazing.
Ruth! -Yes?
Next task!
Our next task was...
When we allowed our contestants to visit an actual mayor.
Come on in.
Are we getting married, or what?
If you want to. -Mr Mayor.
Good afternoon. -Okay...
You're not sending me back, right?
And your name is...? -Bart Seldeslachts.
Bart Seldeslachts. The mayor, I presume.
That's correct.
Hello, Bart. -Hello, Sven.
Good.
"Impress the mayor of Kontich."
"You've got 20 minutes." Impress?
And did you have a plan right away, Sven? Yes, immediately.
An immediate plan. How about you, Olga?
Gert, I propose we watch the plan first.
Yes. -Sven's plan, as well as Frieda's.
Oh, I'm curious.
Be right back.
They're coming for me. Be right back.
What kind of thing would impress you?
It depends. I can be impressed by creative things,
or bringing people together, uniting them.
Are there still people in this city hall, or is it abandoned?
City hall? There's nobody in here. There's still some people across the street.
But we're basically closed right now.
I'll be right back. Got to hurry.
18 minutes 47 seconds remaining. -Yeah, yeah, stop rushing me.
Hello? -Hello, I'm Frieda Van Wijck.
I've got to do a task. Would you mind if I came in for a bit?
Voilà, here we are.
I brought some people together. Come in.
We'd like to perform you a song.
We waren bijna echt vergeten, [We almost nearly forgot]
hoe schoon de zomer wel kan zijn. [How beautiful summer could be]
Yes? -Allow me to try to impress you.
I know how much you love history, so I've brought you something.
I'm gonna go get it -Geef me een kus [kiss me]
en vlug, voor de laatste bus. [Hurry up, before the final bus leaves]
Lalala lala, lalala lala,
lalala lala.
Geef me een kus. [Kiss me]
Voilà.
There you have it.
You're probably already familiar:
The old Golden Book of Kontich.
That's correct. -They gave this to me.
And you can bring it back in a bit.
Voilà.
Thanks. Should I go now?
They just handed off my Golden Book to a stranger.
Someone's getting fired.
Sven, to be clear: You stole something?
Belonging to the mayor? -Well, at first they wouldn't give it to me.
So I told them, "Then just come along!"
Because if someone were to lose it, or sell it on the road, that'd be-
He would do such a thing, but you wouldn't.
So I figured-
Ali, Ali, Wanna buy a Golden Book? Wanna buy? It's gold! Real gold!
Look at it!
Yeah, preferably in one piece. Golden book, golden book.
So we should be able to say he was impressed.
I think so.
Frieda, do you think he was impressed by whatever you were doing?
I asked him what would impress him,
and he said "Bringing people together, being creative." That's exactly what I did.
Did anyone do something fun, or?
Just you wait. Shall we have a look at what Kamal did?
Absolutely. -No, we really don't.
We really do. I'm still paying interest.
Am I allowed to use this, Mr. Mayor? -You can.
Would it be rude if we used these to fight?
We won't be fighting.
Careful, Mr Mayor.
Later on, someone will ask "So, you only do marriages here?"
"Not at all, Kamal was here once, and he made a tower of chairs."
So? Impressed yet?
We still have to be able to conduct marriages here later.
It's okay, I'm single.
Look, I can remove this tablecloth...
without doing any damage.
Well, there's still two things on the table. -That went okay.
Are you impressed yet? -Possibly.
Be honest, do you regret saying yes when they asked you to do this?
No, I don't. Do you?
I figured you might say: "Possibly."
I might have broken something.
Does this impress you? -Absolutely not.
Are you angry? -Slightly.
I get the feeling you don't like me. Am I right, Mr Mayor?
Could be worse.
Mr. Mayor, are you ready? -I'm ready.
I won't be breaking much more, Mr Mayor. -I'd rather you didn't break anything at all!
Okay.
One more minute, Kamal. Impress us.
Three, two, one.
Thanks. -It's possible I damaged some things.
Then it's possible you'll be billed.
Kamal, you do know people have been deported for less, right?
Ruth, do we have any contestants that were less embarrassing?
Or possibly even- -Well, I wouldn't exactly say less embarrassing.
Surely not. -I've put Guga and Olga in the same video.
Because their plan was basically the same. -Is that so?
No plan whatsoever.
Do you like music? -Yes indeed.
And dancing? -I don't mind it.
What would blow your socks off?
Make a proposition.
Oh, I know what I can do.
I'll lift you up and raise you above my head.
Now that he's upright... Well, let's try.
Nope, that's gonna be hard.
I've only got 15 minutes left.
I'll do a cartwheel.
I'll contort my tongue in such a way
to turn it into some sort of clover leaf.
Your tongue?
What immediately impresses you?
Creative people impress me.
People who can unite others, bring them together.
What if I founded a non-profit for multiculturalism?
Will I be able to find the form here?
And it'll be called: Olga for Everybody.
I'm not sure- -Olga for Everybody!
That doesn't sound like a non-profit, it sounds like a brothel! -Or a website!
So, did it work out?
Oh dear! But I'm so glad so much was cut out of the edit.
Oh, but this is only part one of the movie!
Ah, that's a relief. -Let's keep watching.
We could try macho-ing it up. Gonna do push-ups and move my breasts.
Okay, let's go.
Drink some coffee in the meantime. -No, I'm alright, thanks.
I could give you a massage.
That's all.
There once was a mayor from Kontich. He sometimes said I liebe dich.
Or: ich liebe dich. Because he is so sweet and certainly no thief.
But from now on I'd rather keep my kont dich.
[TN: 'Kont' is dutch for 'butt'. 'Dicht' is 'closed'. 'Kont Dich(t)' = 'butt closed'.]
De mayor of Kontich, Kontich
is a handsome guy and he...
he's named Bart, Bart.
How about a joke I invented when I was 5 years old?
There's two fish in the water. One of them says to the other:
"I'm cold, I'm getting out."
Cheerio.
Olga, did we really just witness this, or was it a dream...
or a nightmare? You were on top of the mayor's desk.
Yes. -Olga for everybody!
I'm just glad you didn't do the same as Guga:
Push ups and moving your breasts.
I hope it was all for something, at the very least.
Because what did our mayor think about all this?
Well Gert, I've got the mayor's report here with me.
Ah, right, he had to score us. -Aha.
He obviously put Kamal in last place.
Come on Mr Mayor! [TN: famous line from Samson & Gert]
Guga in fourth place.
Sven, third place. Olga second.
And Frieda walks away in first place.
Yes, the mayor liked her song most of all.
I agree to a certain degree, but this is still my programme.
So I think we should reward Olga for this very embarrassing moment.
So let's swap Frieda and Olga's scores.
But... Before you- -Ruth, you're not telling me...
There's an even more embarrassing moment on the way? -No, no, not the Bryan Adams bit!
Let's have a look. -Nooo!
Who's your favorite artist? Who?
The last one I watched was Bruce Springsteen.
The Summer of '69... Right? That's one by Bruce?
Bryan Adams. Was it him?
I mean, that's embarrassing, but they're basically similar...
That's like if you- -Don't make this worse for yourself, Olga.
I do hope your father isn't watching. [TN: Olga's father is a famous musician.]
I think I'll be forced to intervene again.
And maybe follow the Mayor's lead. Yes.
-I do think you might actually have to dock another point for that. I think...
It wasn't that bad. What's the current standing?
In last place, it's still Kamal.
And rightly so, but okay.
First place is Sven.
And in between those two... the three others.
Right. And we're not done with the tasks yet.
So it's possible there will be more embarrassing moments.
We're ready for the next task,
which combines hide-and-seek...
with exotic fruit.
What's that?
I'm too busy to go to the gym, So I figured "I'll do it at work."
You've got mail.
What are you up to? -Just some cardio.
Oh my God.
How did I know you were going to do that?
"Hide this pineapple on your person. You are not allowed to discard any of it."
"After 20 minutes Ruth will inspect you."
"And guess where you've hidden the pineapple."
"The more mistakes Ruth makes, the higher your score. Your time starts now."
I don't get it. "Hide this pineapple on your person."
On my person?
Where on your divine body will you be hiding it?
What did I get myself into? -You'll stay here?
That's right. I'm not allowed to watch.
Olga, stay classy.
So they had to hide the pineapple on their person.
They were free to determine their exact method.
I did provide a knife and various foils.
The usual attributes for such a task.
Just to help them out a bit.
And after that I had to guess where,
and each mistake by me would get them a point.
And they began immediately in good spirits? -Oh yes they did.
Okay.
I still need overalls.
So I have to... wait..
I can't even cut it.
That's also on my person, right?
My plan is basically to cut it up completely.
And then I'll be needing two layers of clingfilm.
One to cover my skin, then pineapple, and then a second layer of clingfilm.
I think that's not going to work.
Very convenient.
These will be my actual clothes.
Those are to distract her.
She'll notice this.
I'm in doubt where exactly to put these.
Maybe over here will do.
There's no other place possible than over here.
It could be I just have fat feet. She'll never guess those.
Forgot this one, damnit. -Nine, eight...
seven, six... -It stings.
Four, three, two, one...
Zero. I'll see you outside.
So both ladies were very clever about it.
Putting on some extra clothes and such.
While Kamal figured, "I'll just stick it on my body with some tape."
So you still had to guess where it was?
-I still had to guess where all those pieces of pineapple ended up.
Without touching them. -No, unfortunately not.
Yes.
Is that a pineapple in there, or are you just happy to see me?
Yes.
Really, right away...
Do you have any pineapple in the area
Your right breast will be hanging in about 20 years?
Over here? No.
Is there a piece of pineapple in the right side pocket of your pants?
Yes, indeed. Wait no, my right pocket is empty.
Is there some pineapple attached to your left back leg? Your calf?
Yeah, over there at that hump. -Yes.
Did you stick any pineapple in your stomach-area? -Yes.
There's one over here too.
That was what I meant by where your breast will be in 20 years.
My breasts won't be sagging all the way down that way.
Did I mention your belly yet? -No, not yet
Is there one there? -No. That's very confrontational.
That's what I get asked each day.
"Did you hide another pineapple under your t-shirt Ruth?"
Now it's just painful.
Is there some pineapple on your left shoulder?
Nope. -On your left... this part.
No.
On your right side... -Breast?
Breast. -No.
In your shoes? -Yes.
A very small piece. -No, there's a chunk here.
Is there pineapple on your left arm? -Define left arm.
The arm on the left side of your body. -Yes.
Not too quickly, not too quickly.
You're torturing me. Torturing me to make me talk.
You're good at that.
Sorry.
What did I ever do to you?
I already asked shoulder. Same with breast.
That was just one breast. -Is there some pineapple on your other breast?
Yes.
That's the last one. -This part of your arm?
Yes.
Should I show you? -Show it, I mean..
The viewers want to see. it -There was one here.
And if I ever manage to take these off...
Could you help? -Yes.
We could toss you on the barbecue like this.
I'm going home. Olga, see you next time.
See ya!
Ruth, did you manage to keep track of how many guesses you needed?
Yes. I guessed incorrectly 5 times for Kamal.
Despite Olga's giant ski suit, I only guessed wrong 7 times on her.
And 8 times for Frieda.
Not bad. Which means, Frieda, that you are in the lead so far.
Congratulations, good job.
Which brings us to the end of part two of The Brightest Light.
We'll find out in which orifices Sven and Guga hid their pineapples after the break!
See you soon!
Welcome to the third and final part of The Brightest Light.
Ruth, where were we with the task? The pineapple task?
The pineapple task. We've just seen...
how Frieda, Olga and Kamal had hidden their pineapple.
Which means there are still two beautiful male bodies left.
We will be skipping Guga's preparation because he hid his entire pineapple in one place.
It's amazing what Gert has lying around in his shed.
Is there an entire pineapple beneath your hat? -No.
You're pretty much wearing one of those medical gowns.
Let's have a look at that leg.
I think that's a distraction.
Is there some pineapple on your...
chest?
No.
On your belly? -Not there either.
That makes three.
No. Come on.
Stop it.
Beeckmans, stop it. -I can't stop.
For real, stop it.
Man, stop it. -On your back?
No. -Come on man. On your...
This part. -No.
why does Gert have a lab coat in his shed?
It's Alberto's. [TN: Samson and Gert character]
Well then, do you have pineapple on your butt? -No.
You're making me proud.
Is there pineapple on your right leg?
Which part? -The shin.
Correct. -I saw that right away.
Yes, but it was too obvious. -Damnit.
Too bad.
Underneath here was an iron. -Of course.
Which does closely resemble a pineapple.
Very strong.
I have to say Guga, I'm impressed. The distraction technique works wonders.
I had to guess 10 times.
What? -Yes.
So, points?
Points? -Yes!
Oh, what about Sven? -Oh, Sven!
What about Sven? -Yeah, what about Sven?
Sorry Sven, didn't see you there. But it's not the first time it's happened.
Story of my life. -Let us have a look.
Luckily, I quite like pineapple.
So that's a tip: I could try eating it.
But a whole pineapple is pretty big.
Gert, you're going to have to buy a new blender.
Is this supposed to be a blender? That's no blender.
It's for kids, little kids...
So they can make food.
How are you doing? -Good, dude, good.
Really good.
Hard to drink, this.
What happened to the pineapple? -I ate it.
Hollebolle Gijs. [TN: Hungry character from a nursery rhyme]
-Go and stand on your pedestal.
Is there pineapple on your belly?
Yes.
You just put everything on there?
I put everything in here, and the remains over there.
What did you do that for? Now I managed to guess it in one.
Yes.
So you've lost. Right?
Yes.
Sven.
Did you really think the truth wouldn't out?
Really, I did not enjoy that task.
Is that how we'll be doing it? Please take us through the points.
I made 5 incorrect guesses on Kamal, so two points.
Olga, seven. Which earns her three points.
Freida eight, so four points. And finally, Guga:
I was wrong 10 times, so he gets five points. -Congratulations.
Good job.
No. No. You receive no points. -I Get one, surely? What do you mean no points?
You're totally disqualified for cheating, that's why. -Ba dum dum!
Ruth, what does that mean for our scoreboard?
We've got big swings on the board.
For now Frieda is in the lead. Congratulations Frieda.
And I think we can get started on our final task...
Which will take place here, live, in the studio.
In just a bit we'll finally find out who'll be allowed to take Guga's hi-vis shirt home.
Put your chairs aside!
Wow!
I see everyone's at the ready, as well as some camping supplies.
Frieda, can you read out the task?
"Pop up a tent, get into the tent, zip up the tent."
"In your backpack is a onesie. Put it on in the tent and come back out."
"Fastest wins."
And we're off.
Come on Gert!
Calm down! You don't have to break it. -You don't have to break anything.
This isn't Kontich city hall.
Come on guys.
Olga's tent is the first to pop open.
Put on the onesie in the tent, Guga. Dress in the tent.
This way would be too easy.
That's a tent. -Olga is first to enter her tent.
Close the tent.
Close the tent, Olga.
Hey, Frieda's already inside.
Frieda and Olga are already putting on the onesie. The girls are already in the tent, guys.
That's more like it, Sven.
Do I have to go inside to check?
No Ruth, you have to stay out of Guga's tent.
Take off your clothes now.
And there's Olga!
Still a lot of points on the line, do your best. And there's Guga!
Frieda!
Do it up properly. -My mesh broke.
And we've got some kind of... yes, good!
Sven's onesie was an actual tent.
And there's Sven!
Good, good. -We've got a frog.
And look at that, Frieda's a tiger.
Here I was thinking you were my tiger, Ruth. Anyway.
Kamal is wearing his onesie the wrong way around. Hopefully.
Bawk!
You all look more fashionable than ever. Go sit back down.
And Ruth, you can tabulate the score in the meanwhile.
It's some great company, but I think that we're all very curious about the results.
A motley crew. -Yes, we could say that.
Last place is the frog who left the tent: Sven, one point.
Then some sort of chicken appeared. Kamal, two points.
Frieda, our tiger, receives three points.
Guga in second, netting him four points.
And in first an adorable little lamb:
Which was Olga, who receives five points!
Bravo, good job Olga!
Which means we have our final scores!
Indeed. And the final scores are...
Wow, a three way tie for first, with seventeen points.
Frieda, Guga, Olga, stand up please.
We'll be asking you a question which will determine the final winner.
It's an easy question.
When your cat is in the tree - which happened to us today - and you call the fire station...
how much do they charge, per hour, to rescue your cat? Frieda, how much?
That's free. -Frieda thinks it's free.
Olga, how much? -€150
150 euros an hour. And Guga? -€149
€149 - some very tactical play.
Ruth, please give us the answer.
100 euros per hour. Which means Guga is the winner!
Congratulations!
Guga, you'll be receiving all the fashionable clothes to take home.
As well as your own fluorescent shirt. Congratulations!
We're truly proud of what you've achieved here today.
Just like we're proud of... Frieda van Wijck!
Sven de Ridder!
Olga Leyers!
And, of course, Kamal!
Thanks very much. Very beautiful.
This concludes this episode of The Brightest Light.
Thank you all for watching. What did we learn today?
It's not easy to squirt a cat out of a tree.
It's best to hide a whole pineapple on your body.
And we learned that Bruce Springsteen and Bryan Adams are not the same person.
Good night!
English subtitles by /u/Sulimonstrum (with contributions by u/TheMagnificentChrome). Transcribing 75% of the bloody episode by the same.
Series unearthed by /u/Taskmastermaster.