Right, let's go. Ah!
Can you tape this to my head, please?
Ah!
Cool plus cool.
That was quite pathetic, don't you think?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Oh!
Hello, and welcome to Junior Taskmaster.
My name is Rose Matafeo, former child,
current adult woman and the aforementioned Junior Taskmaster.
Hang on, wait, does that make the Taskmaster my father?
Am I a nepo baby? I'll never tell.
Now, if this is the first time you're watching this show,
that would be weird because we are a couple of episodes in,
but here's the long and short of it.
Over the course of this series,
25 children will be battling through five heats
and two semis in the hope of reaching the grand final
and getting their mitts on this.
Ooh!
Yeah, just what every kid wants for their room.
Now, in ye old Taskmaster tradition, tonight's winner will take home all
of the hopefully fabulous prize tasks.
However, the contestants who come first
and second will both win a spot in the semifinals.
Right, let's meet tonight's contestants, shall we?
Please welcome Ebrima...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
...Finley,
George,
Liana
and Shenaya.
It is of course time to introduce my assistant.
Now, this job is not easy.
We knew we had to go through
a rigorous auditioning process to find the right person.
He had to be one of the most brightest minds in the country
with a razor sharp wit,
the chiselled body of an elite athlete, yeah?
We unfortunately ran out of time to do any of that
and ended up putting an ad in the newspaper
and he was the first to answer. It's Mike Wozniak!
CHEERING
Hello.
Thank you, Rose. Thank you.
Ultimately, this is a show about the dangers of electricity pylons.
So remember, kids, if you're climbing an electricity pylon
and you find a wasps' nest the size of a medicine ball,
don't disturb it with a hand-held lit firework or a junior chainsaw,
just call 0800 Wasp Beef
and we'll explain to you why you shouldn't be climbing
the pylon in the first place.
Sound advice there from Michael, who is
the father of several real children.
LAUGHTER
Now, it is time for Mike to reveal tonight's prize task.
Well, Rose, the prize category this week is
the most surprising item from your house.
Perhaps, like Rose, they have 26 disco balls
in their downstairs toilet.
Perhaps it's something simpler like
a letter confirming that Grandma has finally been granted parole.
Either way... LAUGHTER
Either way not only will the winner of this episode be through to
the semifinals, they will also be able
to take home five of the most surprising items from
a house in the world.
Right. I'm going to start with Ebrima.
What is your most surprising item?
I have brought in myself. Uh?
But a cardboard cut-out, cos I like to jump out on people.
Oh! Wow.
Who do you surprise?
Well, I used to sort of jump out on my mum,
but her room is near the stairs, so I'm not allowed to do it any more.
LAUGHTER
Incredible. I think that's a very, very strong start.
It is very strong indeed. Yeah. Thank you, Ebrima. OK.
Next up, I'm going to ask Finley. What is
the most surprising item in your house?
A feather from a hawk.
And there it is. Jeez Louise.
I went to this pumpkin picking place and I held the hawk.
Mm-hm. It's called Bol. Very big. Very heavy.
They should be dealing with pumpkins, not hawks.
They're licensed for both pumpkins and... And hawks. Yeah.
...hawk care. Bit weird.
Yeah. But OK. So why do you think this is
the most surprising item, if I've found this in a house?
I don't think most people in an average household
would have a feather from a 300lb hawk.
APPLAUSE
Oh, don't clap that! All right?
We've got a big hawk in the room tonight.
All right, I'm impressed. I don't know if I'm surprised.
George, what have you got for me?
Um, well, I have brought a 15-year-old belly button.
Urgh. Oh.
There are so many questions to ask here.
Let's start with - are you OK?
No. Whose belly button is this?
It's actually my teenage brother.
Like a belly button is the absence of something, you know?
Are you saying belly button rather than umbilical cord? Umbilical cord?
So he hasn't got an innie or an outie,
he's got a gone-ie now, is that what we're saying?
I think it is a proper belly button.
OK.
It looks like it's seen better days.
Um, well, it is 15 years old. Yeah. And it's human flesh.
Mm-hm. Um... Beautifully put.
So human flesh, if you didn't know, rots.
So that's why it looks like that. OK.
Honestly, yeah. Pretty surprised by that.
I'd upgrade that to rather shocked. OK, Liana?
I bring a Cardi B hat. You've brought a Cardi B hat?
Cardi B hat. There it is. My mum decided to buy it for us
because I've been singing her for ages.
What do you love about Cardi B?
I love how she can sing words really fast.
She can say words really fast.
And we won't go into what kind of words she does say really fast.
What would be your rapper name?
Lil Orange.
LAUGHTER
Good name that. Immediately. Lil Orange, that's pretty good.
Liana, I'm thinking of getting into rap.
Are you? What would my rap name be?
He wouldn't be into rap.
LAUGHTER
All right, so we've one more prize task to hear from and it is Shenaya.
Uh, I have brought in a snakeskin.
Whoa. There it is.
So me and my dad, we were going for a bike ride in the woods. Mm-hm.
And then we stopped for a rest
and we found the snakeskin just lying around on the floor.
OK, rather terrifying. OK. Yeah.
I took it home. Hmm.
And I showed my mum and she got so scared of it,
she threw it in the attic.
Are there snakes in...? I moved here because there weren't snakes.
So I'm scared now. I'm from New Zealand.
The most terrifying we've got is the adder, right? But I don't think
an adder can really nobble you too...
I mean, this is absolutely not
the sort of thing that should be put out as fact.
How big are adders, are they quite small?
Uh, this is all made up. Adders are that big.
And they're only really troublesome if they're airborne. And, erm...
OK. Well, I think it is high time I doled out some points
for this. So, Finley, you've got
the steely stare of someone who's going to pluck a feather out of me.
But I am going to give one point to the hawk feather
because I'm not that surprised by that.
Liana, Cardi B hat, I wouldn't be necessarily surprised
to see that in your house.
Shenaya, I'm going to give you three points for the snakeskin.
It's very, very close between George and Ebrima,
but I think I'm going to go four points for George
and five points to Ebrima's cardboard cut-out.
OK. Very surprising.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
OK, it's time for the first task of the night
and I would "Mike" to hear what it "Was-niak".
That was good, thank you for the smile there.
Very good. Words are weapons, children are the future.
Put them together and you should have some sort of plasma gun with
a limerick setting. Or a very sharp noun.
Let's find out.
Finley. Hello.
Hello, George. Yeah. Salut.
Here she is. Hello. Hello, Shenaya.
That does not look safe.
No, no, it doesn't, does it? No.
Feeling chipper? Very. Good.
Can I open this? I'd be delighted if you would.
Say 15 very different words in 30 seconds, then open the next task.
What next task?
OK, um, beans, egg.
Flower.
Pineapple, pear, apple, fruit, leaf.
Camera, phone, school.
Rabbit, potato, camera, red.
Red, school.
Rose, paper, words, binoculars.
Watch, compass, flower, foam.
Cat, dog.
Spray. Wall. Plastic.
Bathroom, stamp.
Glasses, feet, shoes.
Sweet, sugar, pizza, tomato.
Light, people, death.
LAUGHTER
Uh... Um...
Train, room.
Pencil, rubber, house. Oh.
Lens, blue, pink.
Chainsaw, table.
Movie, chicken.
Red, white.
There we go. Was that in 30 seconds?
Car.
Um, I'm not...
Cat.
Let's see what the devastating news is.
LAUGHTER
Wow.
"Let's see what the devastating news is." That's how
I wake up every morning.
I've got to go through some of the words that were said particularly.
Let's start with George. I got - light, people, death.
It's just hard to name the things that are round me.
So then what around you reminded you of death?
Mike Wozniak.
LAUGHTER
Wow. Thank you, George.
Kids these days. He's not the first to say it.
Liana, immediately coming into that room
and commenting, "That does not look safe."
Are you usually vigilant about safety?
I don't trust him.
You don't trust Mike?
God, how does that make you feel, Mike?
I don't know. Well, it's chilling when someone can really get
a read on you, isn't it, you know?
OK, I'd love to see more.
Let's see how Finley got on, shall we? OK.
"Say 15 different words in 30 seconds."
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Done. Isn't...? Oh, no, that's one word.
LAUGHTER
Hello, my name is Finley,
I love Harry Potter and lots of other things cos
er, I go and play games all the time.
I think that's 15 words I'm not sure.
WHISTLE BLOWS
Thank you very much. You're welcome.
"Put on the goggles
"and completely cover your face in shaving cream.
"Then open the next task." There's another?!
OK!
Oh, wrong way.
I'm excited for this.
Yeah? Is this something you've done before?
No, but I've always wanted to do it.
With shaving cream? Yeah.
Oh, that's cold!
GIGGLING
SHE COUGHS
Does it taste nice? No, Mike!
Are you enjoying this? Mm!
Oh, I don't want to get it in my hair.
Are you going out later?
Yes.
Oh, that's disgusting. Mm-hm. Oh!
Hmm. Does it feel nice? No, Mike!
It looks quite nice. Do you want to try?
I'm fine, thank you.
Is this covered enough? What do you think?
I don't know, I don't have a mirror. Sure, let's say it's covered enough.
OK. I'm done. OK.
I can't see the next task, mind.
Here's the next task.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I mean, did everyone have a bit of fun doing that?
Yeah. Yes? Very messy.
Did anyone get it in their hair?
I'm not even going to talk about the horrors that happened.
Shenaya, I've heard you've made quite interesting concoctions
to put on the face. I just grab all of
the weirdest stuff I can find in the bathroom.
Yeah, and putting it on the face? OK.
Sometimes not on the face. Maybe just like on the wall, or...
LAUGHTER
Finley, how was that, putting all that shaving cream
on your face, though? Amazing.
I feel like my dad when he's shaving himself.
He does the full forehead, does he?
I've got to shout out the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
But then immediately realising, "That's just one word."
I didn't realise I said 25 words.
So you kind of overshot it a bit?
Just speak really fast and then it's over, you can go home.
LAUGHTER
Ain't it the truth?
All right, it's time for a break now.
Join us back here soon. Very soon.
I'm starting the clock. Go!
It's part two here on Junior Taskmaster,
which is just like regular Taskmaster except
the contestants still have hopes and dreams
and their hearts haven't died yet. How is your heart doing, Mike?
Um, very much at mid-life crisis stage.
Recently disappeared and bought a jet ski.
Shall we see the next part of the task? I would love that.
Right.
Catch as many petals on your face as possible in 30 seconds.
Then open the next task.
Are you going to throw the petals?
Oh, are you going to fly it on me?
Ah!
CLASSICAL MUSIC
Give me the petals!
Do I look good?
Please can I have the other task? Thank you.
You're welcome. Another one.
Oh, do you mind opening it?
Certainly.
Say... Are you kidding us?
"Say the 15 words that you said in the first 30 seconds."
"The most correctly remembered words wins."
"You have 30 seconds, your time starts now."
APPLAUSE
Can I firstly just say that was like
the weirdest perfume ad I've ever seen?
Oh, it was hysterical. Really?
Yeah, any parent out there,
fire high velocity petals into children you know,
children you don't know.
How did it feel to be the recipient of that?
Felt like that massage that you've never had before.
Have you ever had a massage, Ebrima?
My mum sometimes rubs my feet. Mm-hm.
And is this before or after you've scared her down the stairs?
My mum don't do this for me. What are you doing, Mum?
I mean, Liana, every clip I'm watching, there is just
a sense of just genuine shock at what Mike's doing.
Do you find that a lot with adults or just Mike?
Just Mike.
LAUGHTER
OK, what now?
Well, there is just one last little bit.
OK. Car, house, school, pencil, rubber.
Pineapple, fruit. Erm, room.
Wall, death. Blind. Table.
Rabbit, red, camera, lens.
Watch, camera, phone, iPad. Um...
White, red, leaf, rose.
People, plastic, white. I think. Door.
Say random things now. OK, I looked around me. Camera.
Tomato, potato, cat, dog.
Bed, TV, room. Paper, words.
Erm...
Spray, bowl, flower, chainsaw.
Um, elephant. Chicken, uh-uh-uh...
Hello, my name is Finley, uh,
I like Harry Potter and I like to play games.
Uh, that's a lot of words, isn't it? OK.
Flower.
WHISTLE BLOWS Oh, God!
Ah, that hurt! Sorry.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Bye, Mike.
Bye? Yes.
Are you done with me? Yes, there's no other tasks!
OK.
I look wonderful. LAUGHTER
Right, goodbye.
Bye, George. APPLAUSE
Oh, pretty good.
Ebrima, are you a good memory guy?
If I want to be. LAUGHTER
Shenaya, you made a sound that I quite liked there.
It wasn't even a word. It was like an "uh-uh-uh"!
Very expressive. My brain just went blank
and I thought that was a word.
ROSE LAUGHS It could be.
George, what I missed in the first one was
"people, death, chainsaw, table"?
No, I thought the leafblower was a chainsaw.
Oh! Right, that would've been a very different task,
wouldn't it? It would've been. Yeah. It would've been...
Would've been a very different task.
I don't know how well they did there, actually.
Well, I've got stats for you.
Er, I can tell you Liana got 23 petals on her face.
Finley got 24 - as did George.
Shenaya, 28.
Ebrima got 59 petals on his face.
APPLAUSE Wow.
Which of course is utterly meaningless,
because the task is to remember the words.
Yes. So, George remembered eight words.
Shenaya, Ebrima and Liana all remembered nine words. Mm.
Slipping in past the rest with 11 words is Finley.
So he gets five points, then, I suppose?
Yay! Fantastic.
All right, shall we see how that all looks on the scoreboard?
Well, here it is.
As you can see, it's very tight at the moment.
But we have Ebrima in the lead with nine points.
APPLAUSE
So, brother Mike, what's up next?
Well, Rose, here's a task in which our contestants were hoping not
to get unstuck.
CONTESTANTS GASP
Hello, Shenaya. Hello.
Hello, Ebrima.
Howdy, Mike. Howdy, George.
How are you feeling? Good.
Hello, Liana.
Hi, Mike. LIANA LAUGHS
How are you feeling?
I'm pretty confident about this one.
Hello, Finley. Hello.
Can I open it? Certainly. Go for it.
LIANA HICCUPS Have you got the hiccups?
No!
That's my laugh, Mike! Was it?
Oh, my God.
How did you prepare for the day?
I woke up, I went downstairs for breakfast. Yeah?
Had some pancakes, some fruit.
Pancakes? Only for special days.
Oh, no, it's stuck!
How's it going, George? Not well.
I can't get the tape off me.
"Stick as many different things to you as possible.
"Most different things stuck to you
"when Mike blows his whistle wins.
"You have ten minutes.
"Your time starts now."
What are you thinking?
I'm getting the tape off this table.
I need to get rid of this.
So, is there anything else sticky?
Sticky, sticky, sticky?
APPLAUSE
Right.
Look, I think the way a person comes into a room
says a lot about their personality.
George - immediately with a howdy.
Are you a literal cowboy? Are you? Er, yeah, I'm Texan.
ROSE LAUGHS
Whereas, Liana, you come into a room
with the weight of the world on your shoulders -
as soon as you see Mike.
You're like someone who works in HR being like, "Not you again!
"Oh, my gosh!"
Also, Ebrima,
you were just saying that you had a special day that day.
You had pancakes for breakfast, right?
That's great. Do you have, like, the best parents in the world?
You're getting massages,
you're getting pancakes for breakfast.
No, it's just cos the hotel had it.
LAUGHTER
Fair enough!
Fair enough.
OK, guys,
this is a rather straightforward task, I feel.
Perhaps. Yeah, can we see some?
Let's see. Well, let's have a look at Ebrima,
Shenaya and Liana, shall we?
Big scissors. Big scissors?
Er, I think there are stickers in here. Stick... Ah!
Are there stickers in the shed? Yeah.
Are you sticky yourself?
I'm very sticky. Yeah?
I like to stick to things.
How would you make yourself sticky?
If there was glue in here, I'd just put it all over myself.
Are you getting stickier with age?
I think I'm just staying sticky. You're staying sticky?
You're at peak sticky? Yeah.
Who's the stickiest person you know?
What kind of question's that?
I was just...
Bit of bants.
Has anyone stuck a brick onto a girl before?
No. No.
These scissors are useless! Mm-hm.
Oh!
Glitter's messy. Yeah.
You're definitely making a nice mess, aren't you?
Yeah. But whatever it takes to win.
Oh, God.
Oh... Oh...
These are sticky, I think.
I think those are the little bow things.
You've got to choose a colour. No!
You're just slowing us down! WHISTLE BLOWS
Thank you.
What do I do now? Take it off myself?
All the information's in the task.
Goodbye, Mike.
Thanks, Liana.
Goodbye. Goodbye.
How'd you feel that went? Sticky.
Wow.
Ebrima, I have to say you were very, very kind to this old, old man.
Because his line of questioning is just so inane, it seems,
and you're just so generous with him.
Do you find that's the best way to deal with him?
Yeah, the quicker I say yes... Mm.
...the quicker it gets over.
Yeah. Agreed!
Yeah. Do you think you have to speak
to a lot of adults like that sometimes?
No. Just Mike.
"Just Mike!"
Why is everybody hating on you?
He's a nice old man.
Old, old, old, old, old, old man!
Leave him alone. Yeah, leave him alone.
Poor Mike. "He's a nice old man."
All right. OK, Mike, I am ready for the next part of the task.
Who have we got? Ah, it is time for Finley and George.
Come on, Mike.
What's happening?
We're taking this inside.
What's the strategy here? Talk me through it.
Er, I'm going to get everything on the table
and then stick them to me.
I've got my things.
In we come. Let's go.
Does every piece of straw count?
What does it say on the task?
"Many different things."
Oh, these scissors are absolute rubbish!
Mike, take the tape off.
Thank you. Leave me a bit.
That's a lot of things in one.
Sticking these to myself.
OK. Am I right in thinking you're trying to stick
a large block of straw to your leg?
Is that correct? Er, yes.
Like a sort of rustic shin pad? Yes.
This tape... working.
Good boy.
I very rarely get called a good boy.
Thank you.
More tape!
Good.
On my back. Like that?
Yeah, yeah. More tape!
Can you tape this to my head, please?
How's that? MORE TAPE!
Er...
WHISTLE BLOWS
Yay!
APPLAUSE
You want me to count every single individual piece of straw?
Yes.
OK.
Do you think you've found your look?
Yeah, it's going to attract all the ladies.
Nice. Thank you.
Goodbye. Thank you, too.
APPLAUSE
Finley - I mean, you looked like the most chic
Halloween pumpkin man I've ever seen.
Why did you stick a whole bed of straw to yourself?
OK! Er, well, there's different pieces of straw in that bag.
There's lots of them.
Probably about millions.
Like, this is straw number one, this is straw number two
and this is straw number three. No, but...
So, sort of the... APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
OK, OK.
But the thing is, that bunch of little things
made into one big thing. Mm.
So, wouldn't that only classify as one thing? Yeah!
No, no, no.
LAUGHTER
I think it should be counted as an entire thing,
because he's just putting one big thing on himself.
Right, OK. So, the task did very clearly state different items.
And I just don't believe you'd be able to tell
one piece of straw from another.
Right, well, shall I give you some stats?
I'd love some stats. OK, right.
If we are going for that straw is all the same... Yeah.
...that does bring George down from 77,633,
down to five.
Sorry, George.
Ebrima's on 10. Shenaya's on 12.
Liana had a total of 15 different items.
But Finley had 23 in that outfit. APPLAUSE
All right, so that is one point to George,
two points to Ebrima,
three points to Shenaya,
four points to Liana,
and then the full five points to Finley.
APPLAUSE
That is the end of part two,
and it's time now for a magic trick
where we make this show disappear for a couple of minutes.
Say the magic word, Mikey!
Advert-cadabra!
Welcome back!
What did you lot do in the break?
Cos Mike went to the toilet,
but he left his microphone on and we all heard him crying.
Pull yourself together and tell me what the next task is.
OK. Thank you. OK.
Er, Rose... Mm?
...magic, mystery, illusion,
France.
This task involves none of these things,
but it does involve peas.
CONTESTANTS GASP ROSE LAUGHS
Liana. Hello.
Hello, Mike. Hello, Finley.
How are you? Very well. Come in, come in.
Bonjour, Mike.
Bonjour, George.
It's very nice. It's very cosy. I like the cushions. Mm.
Do you caravan?
We have my auntie who... Yeah?
...has a caravan. Good auntie?
Mm. Nice auntie? I don't really speak to her.
No. No, I should speak... I should speak to mine more.
I must give her a ring.
Can I open this?
Sure. OK.
"Hide the peas that are currently on the tees.
"You have five minutes. Your time starts now."
So, do you want to leave?
No, thank you. I'm going to stay here. OK.
So, who am I hiding them from?
Good question.
Do you know where I'm actually going to hide them? Mm-hm.
Don't tell, but I'll hide them over there.
Is that a good idea? To tell me that?
Yes.
APPLAUSE
Wow.
A classic intro from George. Bonjour.
Ah, he is a classy man.
Now, Liana, your auntie had a caravan, yes?
Mm-hm. Mike, did you end up talking to your auntie?
I... Well, I took...
Well, I've taken my auntie out for lunch since then.
Shoutout to Auntie Barbara.
Did you manage...? Did you manage to take your auntie out for lunch?
No?
Why not?
I'm nine!
Right, I don't want to dilly-dally.
I just want to see how they got on here, actually.
OK, time to see some pea-hiding.
Right, how long did it say?
Five minutes. Come on, then. Let's go.
I'm staying here. OK.
Oh, I didn't get all the peas off the tees!
That one's in.
Yah!
This is the best place.
You good at hiding things?
Yeah, I just wonder who I'm hiding them from.
Who do you think?
I don't know. You? Steven Seagal?
I don't know who that is.
Anneka Rice?
Can you please pass me that pea that's fallen? Certainly.
Kate Bush?
Good luck finding that one, Mike!
Pardon?
Now to the bathtub.
OK, so I think I'm hiding these from Mike,
so is Mike actually going to look there with his restricted vision?
I think he's an old man, isn't he?
Perfect.
Huh!
There's a big bowl of peas here!
There's a big bowl of peas? Yeah.
What's it doing there? I don't know.
What are you going to do about it?
Hide them. OK.
You've got one minute.
How did that go?
Well, it went good. I got some good hiding places.
Yeah? They might be hard to find.
For who? You.
For me? Yeah.
Oh, no.
Huh?
What does it say?
"Retrieve the pea...
"Retrieve the peas and put them back on their tees.
"Most peas back on their tees in the fastest time wins.
"You have a maximum of ten minutes.
"Your time starts now." Right, let's go.
Looks like bad news. Is it bad news?
LAUGHTER
Wow, OK. So, retrieve the peas and put them back on their tees.
Did notice a lot of people just threw them.
Just hoofing it into the grass, some of them.
Yeah, that might've been hard to find.
Yeah.
Shenaya, I saw you at one point trying to hide
a pea in a zebra's ear.
Er, yeah. Did that work out?
No, so then I tried the mouth,
cos I thought it might be hungry. Oh!
I wrote this down.
Finley hiding a pea and saying,
"Is Mike going to look there with his restricted vision?"
Yeah? "I think he's an old man, isn't he?"
Wow! No, I googled it.
Aren't you, like, 46?
LAUGHTER Do not google how old we are!
You're 32. You're 40 something.
In the first half, you said we weren't allowed
to be mean to him. We're not being mean to him.
I forgot I did that!
You... For those watching at home,
yes, we have lost control of the children.
Look, I'm not going to lie,
I'm a little worried about how you're going to manage
the next part of this task.
Mike, please show me who's next.
It's Liana and Shenaya.
I've put it down there.
Down there? Mm-hm.
Hmm. That's tricky, isn't it?
Maybe there's something in the shed I can get it with. OK.
I'm looking for the peas, cos that's the only thing I can do.
Looking for peas in a lawn of green grass?
Yes. Is that a bit like a metaphor for life, in a way?
Yeah, like finding a needle in a haystack. OK.
Oh, yeah, there's a perfectly serviceable one already,
isn't there? Yeah.
We'll just use that.
How do you normally cook your peas?
Is there something you could do with your peas
that would zhuzh them up a little bit?
Bit of seasoning?
Even a bit of... A pat of butter, perhaps?
I'm trying to find peas! Right.
Can you help?
What would you like me to do?
Find the peas. There's some in there.
You know what? The ones I threw, I obviously can't
get them back now.
So I'm going to use these peas to replace them.
CHEERING
Done. Really?
Yeah. WHISTLE BLOWS
13.
Wait, I need to find something that might be able
to help us get the one from the...
CHORAL SINGING
LIANA LAUGHS What have you found?
Peas.
Well, those are my... That's where I keep my peas. Those are my peas.
Ha! They still count.
Never says anything that it doesn't.
Oh, there's two more.
There we go. I am done.
WHISTLE BLOWS
Wow.
You slayed.
So did you. You were so good. Thank you.
Liana, I want to say that your reaction
to finding the peas in the fridge - it was almost like...
You just played it really cool.
You were like, "Yeah, I knew those peas were in the fridge
"the whole time." I knew I was going to get the task right.
Oh! You were like, "I've got this." Mm-hm.
Are you a cool cucumber?
Am I the nerdiest person alive? Yes!
Are you actually...?
No, don't answer that.
Er...
Are you a cool cucumber, Liana? I'll stick with it.
Yeah, sure, we'll say that.
Shenaya, you started looking for peas in the grass.
At first, when I saw the grass... Mm-hm?
...I thought, "I'm doomed."
Yeah.
Yeah, and then I remembered I had those peas.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, yes, that entire bowl of peas
might be handy in this task!
On the first task, I hid those peas as well.
So, technically, they're peas that I hid. So I'm retrieving them.
Right, cos there is a technicality there, I suppose.
I could say, "Oh, those weren't the peas that were on the tees.
"Those were other peas." Mm. Yeah.
But honestly, I can't be bothered.
Moving on, Mike. Who's next?
Ooh, next up, it's Ebrima and Finley.
Can you remember where all the peas ended up?
Yes, I do.
I'm going to take this with me.
OK, there's one somewhere here.
Do you want to play hotter, colder?
Oh... What, do you know where they are?
No. Oh.
LAUGHTER
13, 14.
Into the house.
All right, I know I hid one in here, but I don't know... Where?
What, in the keyhole? In the keyhole.
But I don't think I'm going to be able to get it.
We need to be fast. OK.
We need to go to the bathtub because I definitely got some there.
I've got half a pea! Does that count?
Come on, don't do this to me.
OK, do you mind holding this for me? You want me to hold a pea?
Thank you. Sure.
Who do you know who'd be best at finding peas?
Probably dinner ladies.
LAUGHTER
Calling it a day?
Yeah. WHISTLE BLOWS
18 out of 20.
OK. I'm OK with that.
Now what?
Well, it's quite a relaxing place.
Mm-hm. Just chill. Yeah, just chill. Mm-hm.
Try not to think about the other two peas. Yeah.
But, hey-ho, we'll find them soon enough.
Ebrima, you were just a man on a mission. You were like,
"Right, we're doing this, we're getting them done."
I thought I did well, you know,
but now I know that there were those bowl of peas,
I'm now quite annoyed.
In the task, it said you need to retrieve
the peas that were on the tees. Yeah. Hmm.
The peas in the bowl weren't on the tees, so that shouldn't count.
The peas that were on the tees. We couldn't get them!
Gosh, I love making the children fight!
It's so much fun! Anyway...
The, uh... I have the phrasing.
The phrasing simply was "retrieve the peas
"and put them back on the tees." THE peas!
I... I really... I just, uh, almost don't care.
Um... All right,
one more contestant left, it's George.
But it's time for a break now. But not for you.
Drop and give me 50. Come on.
Oh. Go on, chop, chop. Yeah, right now, right now.
One, two, three...
Ah, welcome back to the final part of the show.
Now it's time to see the wizard,
the wonderful wizard of Woz-niak! Do you like that?
Yeah. I want to know how George got on, please.
Let's have a look, my capitan. Ooh!
I know where five are.
I think that's all five.
How well hidden are the peas? Uh, a bit too well hidden.
OK. Right, Mike?
Yes. Go find them. Um...
Get on the ground. Go find. I've got to find them?
Yeah, if you look... Haven't you got to find them? No, I don't care.
You're finding them. Use your eyes.
But I'm not a contestant. I've got no skin in the game here.
You made the task, so you're doing it.
I'm very bad at finding things.
I can tell.
Maybe the peas have been eaten.
By what? Creatures.
Hmm. Creepy-crawlies.
You're the only creature here.
What are you? I've found one! I've found a pea!
Great. Greatest achievement of my life, this. I found one.
Got two and a half minutes left.
All right, I'm just going to put some green things in here,
pretend it's a pea, all right?
Some pretend peas?
Yeah, don't care what you're saying, they're peas.
So you don't think the Junior Taskmaster will be able
to tell the difference between a pea and a clod of grass?
No.
OK.
Blowing off, this is not a good day.
Right, Mike, put them on and make them stay there.
Put the green stuff on? Yep. Right.
Even though this is pea forgery? Yeah, just the green stuff, right?
Yeah. If you put any of the mud on, you're getting fired.
Hmm. Oh, yeah, and that pea there.
Yeah. It's quite stressful, George, pea fraud.
George?
Yeah. You've got ten seconds left.
Got one here!
That one, off there.
Put them on, Mike!
Mike! HE BLOWS WHISTLE
Thank you, George.
Look, it's done.
Sure?
It's your fault, Mike.
It's my fault? It's your fault. Sorry, George.
Bad boy.
Well, I mean, watching that back, there were
so many different strategies and tactics that you had.
Well, now I think about it,
I don't think I should've threw them and actually hid them.
Right, yeah. I should've realised there's a second part to the task.
But equally, you did find the pea and you said,
and I quote, "Greatest achievement of my life, this."
But I've just got to say, like, the insults were just flying.
Yeah, I mean, he took me down a few pegs.
Finishing with the ultimate diss,
and he did call me a bad boy.
But I, you know,
maybe I had been a bad boy, on reflection.
All right, everyone's screaming about the bowl of peas.
"Are the peas the peas, or the peas...?" I don't know any of that.
I'm going to accept it. Yes! I'm accepting the bowl of peas...
OK. ..as peas that you can put back onto the tees, all right? Yes!
All right, so, yeah, well... APPLAUSE
Do you want some raw stats? The stats, yes, I want the stats.
OK, we aimed for fastest wins.
Mm-hm. George managed six actual peas... Hmm.
...in ten minutes - that's not including the counterfeit peas.
Mm-hm.
Ebrima, 18 peas, also in ten minutes.
Liana managed 20 peas in eight minutes, 15 seconds.
Finley was quicker than that with five minutes 11,
but 18 and a half peas. And Shenaya got
the full 20 peas in four minutes and 41 seconds.
Aha! All right. APPLAUSE
Well done.
So, taking into account those statistics,
it would be one point for George
but I am going to award a special bonus point, just
because I loved the excerpt from the caravan,
the ingenuity of his insults to Mike, so two points to George.
We're going to go two points to Ebrima.
Three points to Finley.
Four points to Liana,
but that means the full five points to Shenaya!
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
I love peas now!
All right!
So, what has that done to the scores?
In second place, neck and neck, we've got Liana and Finley,
but currently in the lead is Shenaya with 15 points.
Yes!
It's all to play for.
So, you wild bunch of rapscallions, make your way over to the stage for
the final task of the show.
Ha-ha!
All right, Michael, who will be reading the task out tonight?
Liana, please.
"Open a can.
"You must open the first can you touch.
"If you open a can that has something in it, you are out.
"The person who stays in the longest wins."
OK, so hopefully that's clear.
It has to be the first can you touch. That's it.
And if you are out, then we'd be delighted if you'd make your way to
the elimination bench, as we're calling it,
as tactfully as we possibly can.
If you're ready, Rose?
I'm ready to watch this twisted game.
We'll begin with Ebrima, please.
He's made his choice.
It's empty. You could put that in the recycling bin for me.
Finley's up next.
Ah. Lovely, it's empty.
Take it away, George.
There's nothing in it. Nothing in it.
He's still in the running. Liana, you're up.
There's nothing in it! Nothing in it.
Hello.
Yes!
One round, they're all still in it.
Ebrima. Oh...
The odds are getting more savage.
It's empty! Yay!
Nice, nice.
There's nothing in it. It's another empty can. Wow!
Oh!
APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER
I'm so terribly sorry, you have been attacked by a snake.
Well done, Liana.
Shenaya.
Oh! Oh!
Only three left.
I'm really scared now.
Oh, three for three!
Jeez! Never seen anything like it. No, neither.
That leaves Finley and George.
Wow!
I think I'm going to go out. Fatalistic from George.
Oh! Oh!
It's close. Lovely thing to see the relief of the pessimist.
Oooooooh!
Hey!
We have our last man standing.
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Let's head back down and see what that does to the final scores.
Aha!
All right, Mike-emical Romance,
take me through that last task. That was bad!
Well, it was tense stuff. I think we all felt it.
First out, sadly, was Liana, gets one point.
Shenaya, two points. Next was Ebrima, gets three points.
Finley gets four, penultimate guy standing.
George was the winner of that particular task, gets five points.
CHEERING Well done, everyone.
Well, I would love to hear how that has affected
the final scores, please.
Well, hold on to your fedora, Rose.
This is extra special, big-time exciting, because both the runner-up
and the winner will be going through to the semis
like a hot knife through a parachute canopy.
So, in joint fourth place,
with 15 points,
we have George and Liana.
We came, technically, not last!
And it is very, very, very tight indeed. Coming in
in third place is Ebrima with 16 points.
In second place,
and therefore through to the semis,
with 17 points, it's Shenaya.
Which means...
Tonight's winner is Finley!
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Go on up and collect your most surprising things.
Wow! That's it.
Now, your homework is to read chapters 14 and 15 of
the Taskmaster Syllabus,
and remember, next week is the swimming gala,
so don't forget your trunks! LAUGHTER
Let's hear it one more time for our contestants,
and of course our winner - Finley!
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
Subtitles by Red Bee Media