A warm welcome to Kongen Befaler, -
-where our regular comedians will see a number of demanding tasks-
which I have cooked together.
They hope to become the one who eventually walks off-
- with the main prize of the season, a bust of me in gold.
Those who can win this, as always, are Vegard Ylvisåker, -
-Maria Stavang, Bård Ylvisåker, Siri Kristiansen, -
and Calle Hellevang-Larsen.
Welcome!
As always, we start with a prize task, -
-you have asked the participants to bring one item each, -
-which the winner tonight gets to share and own.
You have set the criteria for today's objects as you normally would.
Of course I have. Participants should bring one thing-
- that I'm surprised they own.
-I'm ready to be surprised. -Who's going to start?
I think I'll start with Bård.
Yes? I think this was difficult. I've brought a butler bell.
Oi! - Like they have at Downton Abbey.
-To call the butler? -Do you have a butler?
I don't have a butler. He had to let me go.
It is quite expensive. 2500 kroner.
Shall we move on to the next one?
Vegard, can you show what you have with you?
Zero stress. Let's see here ...
I have an embroidery machine.
An embroidery machine? Not a sewing machine?
It's a sewing machine. You can remove the embroidery section.
Here you have a fully automatic embroidery machine.
-And it's yours? - It's mine, yes.
-It's very expensive. -It costs the same as yours.
- Spent a lot? -Yes, used some.
- You got it? Do you sew a lot? -Yes, fun fact!
Bård played Northug in the previous series, which you did so well -
and wore a shirt with the Red Bull and Coop logo.
-Jaha? -Made of...
You embroidered them for him? Yes, I must say that!
-OK. -It is good.
It's a fun fact. You should have.
Very good. Calle, what are you up to?
I have the last 72 releases of the interior magazine Bo Bedre.
Oh well!
-It is equivalent to a six-year subscription. - Six years subscription?
Like getting rid of it, right?
No, I'm interested in interiors, so that's what's surprising.
I don't beat myself up as an interior guy.
- We agree. -Yes.
Siri, what are you up to?
I have brought a real chair.
It is antique, and it was used to feed in the old days.
It was very nice until the beetle gnawed off two of the sides.
I have exhibited it as a kind of art, torture-chambered thing.
It looks very old and expensive. Risky to put it in the pot?
It has not cost me a penny. My husband inherited it from my grandmother.
-So good! Maria, now I'm excited? -Me too.
Or I know.
I have a Bollinger bottle. "Bollinger? Bollinger?"
"Bollinguaise"?
-Bollinger Special Cuvée. -A bottle of champagne?
Yes, but this one costs a lot of money. I checked on vinmonopolet.no.
-Have you decided? -Yes.
I have to be honest.
Bored to begin with the last gift -
but you came in last place.
I'm a little unsure of the doorbell. You knew that? So it's coming?
-Yes. -You end up with it just now.
You had such a good history with that embroidery machine,
... that I'm not going to drive you on ...
You know what? Bo Bedre, you get a third place.
-What? -You do it.
The chair will get a second place, and then we have a winner in Vegard.
Yes!
-Everytime! -It is okay. I agree with that.
I agree.
- Shall we move on? - Shouldn't we?
Nothing reluctant to move forward now. I know I could think-
-a little tiring, nasty task that thins out the last of them.
-Hey Hey! -Hi!
-It's cold. - I'm not going up there.
- It's that simple and easy. - "Empty the bathtub of water."
"It is not allowed to remove the plug, destroy or overturn the bath."
"Time starts now."
What can I wear that empties a bathtub?
Yes!
No, it just gets air into ...
What can I wear that empties a bathtub?
Wrong way.
Okay. Hey Hey!
-No more water. Yes. Do you want to stop the time?
Do you believe that you win the task?
-Not really. Not today. -The time was 9 minutes and 6 seconds.
- Best for now. -Yes, best so far. You should!
- Shall we move on? -Yes, we move on.
Let's look at Calle, then. Let's see.
No, it might be too risky.
Power and water are not such a good combination.
People have died in the bathtub with electrical articles in it ... before.
This works, but I just want to tape it there.
Then I can just walk away and let it do the job.
No no. Should you drink it?
It goes up. Can you come and hold it in the water?
Then just suck on this one until it comes.
Like that! They can enjoy themselves.
I think that's the solution Vegard has been for.
I think Vegard gets a little excited by the thought of levity.
Do we have a sore throat, or?
- Wasn't that funny? -Yes.
- It stopped, yes?
-What are you making? -A spoon.
- It wasn't stupid, the one there. -You'll say when you're done.
Finished!
There!
-OK. Good bye! -Goodbye.
It's hard to know where to start.
-In the beginning, you were in danger, Calle! -Danger of life, yes? I was terrified.
Yes, you were. Terrified. You couldn't hide it.
If there is one thing I respect, it is death on that type of recording.
-So exactly where are you cowardly? -Yes, I'm cowardly.
It worked, but your time ...
The bathtub was emptied in 15 minutes and 45 seconds.
-Awful! - Second place for now.
Yes, so far, but I'm disappointed.
- Shall we take a look? -Yes. Vegard?
I'm going to make two hoops that can stand and walk-
while I'm trying to drain water ...
No, I fucking shit!
Okay. I do different things at the same time.
This is a very bad idea.
I try ... I just do that.
I don't want to get wet, but maybe I should fuck it.
That is why I take my foot off with a little swish!
How accurate are you? Should I dry it?
It's not up to me to judge. -No well. Then I have to guard.
Time stops when you finish.
Then I'll do a good job!
Even if you stand there and are Sweden, Switzerland or what you are now -
-and will not take any stand, you must see that there is no water left.
- Now I'm happy. -I'm Finnish, then.
They were on their side, at least at the beginning of the war.
-What? -After?
- Are you serious? -Yes.
I'd say it's ... Let's see!
-It's ... moisture. -Dry.
Humidity? No... -Yes.
If you want the honest answer.
Don't spend time asking about the Finnish war.
It's a nice bunch, after all.
-Us two? -Yes.
Like that. Voila!
- It's dry. -Thanks.
I don't do things like that.
- Should I stop the time? -Yes, ugh.
-Yes, stop the time! -Yes.
Yes!
Fun that when Calle goes for sore, Vegard goes for double sore.
Yes, it's great to see.
-I don't know what the hell that is? - You learn that during the season.
- We'll take it afterwards. -Yuck!
If you follow a little ...
We actually have a new man in the lead.
- That's what we have. - It's not bad.
Six minutes and 48 seconds.
Yes. Should we see if Bård manages to beat it?
I think it's important to look at dueling brothers.
What is the plan?
I'll just put on a sip while I'm working.
This must go well.
At least I'll clear it completely.
Then I use Grandpa's method of drying with the whole roll ...
... if it's a little wet. First a layer of paper, right?
If it's a bad day, there's nothing to talk about, -
-but here it goes into the roll.
If you have a bit of diarrhea, this is the way to do it.
You looked really cool in the smoke with that boat engine. I must say that.
- Was I cool? -But you had to resort to a sip?
-Yes, I had to have a sip. - A little shaggy?
I'm wondering if it was effective?
-No. -No, it was last place.
-Last place? -Yes, 16 minutes and 3 seconds.
-Yes. -Yes.
Vegard, you're still in the lead, but can we take a look at Siri?
Of course, we want to take a look at Siri, but we must look at some advertising.
Yes!
Welcome back. We wait in anticipation for-
- for Siri to empty the bathtub. -Yes, we can start here now!
Yes!
Kill that teddy bear!
Come on!
Shit, it got heavy!
Okay, they're wet.
You're heavy!
No no no!
I hope children do not look at this.
Up with you, baby daddy!
-I stop when you say "stop". -I need a little teddy bear here.
-Like that! Yes. -Time?
Yes, what initially seems like a very bad idea -
- turns out to be a really bad idea.
It only held almost for Siri and teddy bear.
- It became second place. -What?
- Eight minutes and 25 seconds. -Do you think so?
-Oi, oi, oi! -We can take a look at the leaderboard.
You got five points, Vegard. Now we have to look together.
No big surprise. Vegard, you're still leading.
-Very good. -Yes!
We are ready for more tasks. What goodies do you have now?
Now, we take a trip to the backland.
-Is that all right? - It's humor?
It's humor, yes. Now you've learned, you see.
- Now I've learned. -Pay attention!
-See and learn. -Yes, it's good.
-Hey Hey. -Good day.
Oh well?
"Make a movie to be played backwards.
The movie Atle likes best wins."
"You have 30 minutes to prepare. Won strats emit." (written backwards)
Slapstick is one thing that fits in a backstop,
but a little too obvious. A contrast to slapstick?
Porno. Porn backwards.
Yes, no, then you need co-actors.
-No, it was just a suggestion. -The preparation is gold.
The trap people go to here is that they write things down.
If they need to talk, they have to write things down.
Here, for example, it says "nedit retratsån". ("Time starts now" backwards)
It sounds weird if you just read it.
You have to record it, turn it around, and practice it as it sounds.
That's it. "Tada" backwards becomes "adat".
It's a little hard to know.
Things that are boring, by the way, are fun backwards.
What is fun to put up in the butt?
I just want to put things in the butt.
"Ttelbateddyr!"
"Adat"
"Nnås!"
Today is a day to put things backwards in the butt.
This ... I should at least use.
It's so nice to be stupid and so childish!
Yes.
Yes, we won't get away with it, Maria.
So your only idea ... when you are told to film it ...
-that's going to be up there?
Is that the only idea you have? Into the butt? Where does it stop?
-I wanted to put things up that day. - It was such a day, yes?
Otherwise, it is interesting to see how you solve this.
Absolutely! The participants also recorded a small snippet.
-Yes. -And then I turned the movie backwards.
We can start with Vegard's.
-Be glad it was subtitled. -I am.
-Well, there are more here. Can't we take Calle?
Calle we take. I want to see Calle.
I hope no one was hurt underneath this fierce fighting.
Fuck, it was bad! It was worse than I thought.
No one was hurt!
- Shall we look at Siri's? - But before we look at Siri's, -
- I want to comment that even though I'm in the movie, -
- I have nothing to do with that production.
-Because... -Do you distance yourself?
I've rarely taken more distance, because this is shit!
-We can look at it! -Yes!
- I didn't understand that. -No.
You got applause anyway.
You see you didn't understand the task? You recorded the right way and turned it around?
It's meta, you see. We recorded the film backwards.
You recorded backwards?
-I note that you call it "movie". -We'll see more backwards films.
Bård, what would you say about yours?
The title of the film is Advertising for Clear Tablet.
- Advertising for Clear Tablet? -Yes.
Oh well.
Yes.
- It was impressive! -Thanks.
- It was impressively done. - Now I understood the task.
Yes, we will come back to you again, Siri, but ...
- There's one left. - We have one left, -
-and it's Maria, who was obsessed with putting things in her butt.
Very excited about what you created, but let's see some advertising first.
Welcome back. Now we will see Maria's backwards film, -
- and Maria, what's your movie's name? -My movie is called The Next Day.
Then we look at The Next Day.
I do not understand anything. How did you get it?
Was it magic? You got what you wanted?
I did the same thing as Siri. I did everything in the right order.
Now everyone is playing, and back to you, Siri.
Now you've seen everyone.
Do you have any suggestions for which place you end up in?
- Can't we see it again? -No.
If it was in black and white, I could have the knife in the top, -
-but since it is in color, I lay down last.
That's a very good suggestion. You get last place for it.
There is no need to applaud it.
We have to put you in last place, Calle.
Vegard ends up in the middle position.
-You thought, "This one I win!" -No!
Maria's art project ends up in second place -
and a clear first place for Bård!
Yes!
There is nothing to wait for. We are ready for the next task.
Yes, it's about bathing ducks that need to be torn down -
-not psychic, but physical.
Oh well?
Oi!
The one over there, after all, is the grand master of the ducks.
"All the ducks are going down. You have to stand behind the white line when the ducks fall."
"You can't touch the ducks." It would never have occurred to me.
"You can't touch the ducks. Time starts when the first duck falls."
"When the first duck falls." It is delicious, because then I can prepare a little.
-Do you know how to make a lasso? -No.
- We don't have a shotgun? -No.
Okay, I'll go into the garage.
You seemed positive about the task?
-Yes. -Yes.
The task is to get the bathing ducks down as quickly as possible, -
-and participants must be behind the white line when the ducks fall.
What is important to note is-
-that time does not begin until the first swim duck falls.
- Let's start with Siri. -Siri.
I have to try everything!
Yes! It's been a long time since I've felt so feminine.
-No no no! -Yippie! Just what I wanted.
No!
Now I drive turbo.
Useless!
Yes! "Don't touch the ducks." No, I'm not going to touch them.
Come!
Then it was you, then! No, I can't touch the ducks.
Now I've done a lot of cheating.
Now I was going to throw it up in the air as I legged there -
- but I can't touch it.
I can't throw it when I can't touch it.
The leaf blower was supposed to be the worst invention in the world.
No, this is taking too long!
I could have tried to palm something, but I'm not that good.
It goes, does it?
Yes!
I've rarely seen you so happy ever-
-like when you came up with that solution.
I feel that I have been raised a hag.
It wasn't a bad effort, but we haven't seen the others.
-No. -We'll see then.
- Should we look at Bård, Calle and Maria? -Yes.
-What should you try? -It's just going to throw the anchor, -
- pull it back again.
Simply tear them down using this receptacle, -
which is the foremost characteristic of the anchor.
Just...
There you go!
That was the anchor ...
- Now is the time. -Yes.
Lousy anchor!
If I move on this without any of the ducks falling, -
- then I'm closer to the line. Up, up, up!
No!
No! Put it back down. I don't dare anymore.
No no no!
The first second has fallen and time is running!
I wonder if everyone goes for the rope.
If you try to throw something, you're an idiot!
No!
Preparation is the key to success.
No!
Oh my God!
There is a water hose!
Yes you!
-What do you think? Is it going fast enough? -No.
Yes.
Now it goes 100%.
Come on!
Now it looks like it's just showers.
Okay. Then we must be clear.
Ready, done, run! Come on!
Bastards!
Come on, you damn duck!
Everyone is down.
Yes!
Look now!
Yes!
What do you think Atle thinks about what the garden looks like?
He may think it's a little silly.
At the same time, I cleared away part of the garage.
-Yes, we go straight to you, Maria. -Hi!
You should have good efforts, -
-but unfortunately I have to state that there were a whole nine ducks that fell.
- Wasn't it? -Correct.
-No ducks. - Before and along the way.
- There will be zero points, unfortunately. - I'll take it, me.
I can say the time for Calle. It was 3 minutes and 57 seconds.
- It wasn't worse, no? -You will pass Siri.
Yes. And Bård, you managed to get down all the ...
-... thirteen seconds! -Oi, oi, oi!
- Very impressive. - Let's see if Vegard beats it.
"You can't touch the ducks, and time doesn't start until the first duck falls."
Now, in a way, it's okay.
-And those. -What are you doing?
I move the ducks closer. It's easier to get them down.
It goes absolutely brilliant!
Olly, can you hold the snake? Otherwise, I'll take the whole.
-You can do it? - I've kept snakes before.
Now I don't have much rope.
Like that. Then we have it.
We can only bring that extra rope here.
Now, in a way, I've made some kind of operation center here.
These are the two big ones, this is the last one there.
I put it on top so I can take it first.
It's the one I'm most unsure of.
If I can't, I have to flush it.
There will actually be three ropes.
-Finished! -Yes.
Anything over five seconds, I get dissatisfied.
Now it happens.
This is actually nerve-wracking.
Yes! There we are.
That's it down there.
Quick release!
It won't be 3.8 seconds, but ...
-Like that! It happens a little ... -No!
- I think they're down. -Yes.
-I got that ... -Yes, you got a hug ...
All in all, it worked according to plan. It could have gone faster.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Yes very good.
It was fast and impressive.
No doubt you have some of the same ideas as brothers.
But it's a "but" ...
Yes, there were reactions in the hall. Can't you take a look under the chair?
- See if you have anything ... -Oh yes.
That's the task. Read it.
-Yes, I know where you want to go. -But we want to rub it in!
"All the ducks are going down. You must stand behind the white line.
You can't touch the ducks!"
No, you can't!
There...
This means that Maria and Vegard are disqualified, and Bård was the fastest.
We can look at the position after four tasks.
- It's pretty even! -Oi, oi, oi!
It is steadily close to the very last task.
As always, we will have the last task on stage.
Get in place.
Then you stand blindfolded and you have been given balloons.
The one with the biggest balloon-
-when I blow this whistle after 30 seconds, wins.
-Easy. Questions? -No.
Then we start in three, two, one ...
Is it allowed to have it on standby?
Satan!
It's just blowing.
There is still more than 15 seconds left.
Come on, Siri!
The biggest winner!
So now there are six, five, four ... -Satan!
... three, two, one and time! Time's up.
Yes!
-You can take the blindfolds off. -No!
- Take off the blindfolds. - Can we take off the blindfolds?
Well, Atle? I feel it is clear who ...
It is quite clear that Vegard has the largest.
You get first place.
-Yes! -Yes!
-Yes. -Vegard, you came to the top.
Bård got four points, Maria three, Siri two, and Calle at the bottom.
It gives us this combined list.
-Let's see... -Yes!
That means Vegard is the winner of today's program, -
and gets the whole prize pot. Come and enjoy your prizes!
- Can I say one thing? -Yes.
All in all, this is the case, but there are many tasks left, -
and many programs. See you next week!
What a pity.
Original Norwegian Text:Monica Mikkelsen www.btistudios.com