I can't think!
Did the others understand this?
Yes!
Welcome to Kongen Befaler!
The programme where five participants fight and suffer
to achieve honor, fame and a bust in gold...
...of me!
With me, I have my struggling, suffering, and self-sacrificing assistant,
Olli Wermskog. -Thank you.
You know, I've been thinking about a few things...
We're not going to blather away here now. Let's instead focus on our participants:
Steinar Sagen!
Ida Fladen!
Amir Asgharnejad!
Einar Tørnquist!
And Solveig Kloppen!
Yeah, yeah!
Amir. -Yes?
You have won two programmes.
But still, you are in last place.
How do you do that? -How do I do that?
I often lie low towards the end of the programme.
And then I sneak in at the end there.
You are more concerned with the individual competitions than the overall?
We will start right away with the first task.
The first task is, as always, a prize task,
where the participants have been asked to bring something.
"Bring something you want to get rid of from your household."
Something you have at home that no longer needs to be there.
Steinar, shall we start with you? -We can do that.
I've brought my son's entire Spider-Man collection.
He's five years old, his name is Petter. These are all of his Spider-Man-related things.
I'm starting to get very tired of the red, blue, and white aesthetic.
It doesn't fit with what our interior designer has said we should have.
So I want to get rid of this.
Because you don't have a red-blue home? -Not originally, no.
This is all he owns. Bed linen, sweaters, clothes, swimming aids...
Either this gets out of the house, or you'll have to repaint.
It may well be that I have to repaint the whole apartment into a Spider-Man theme, yes.
Is he interested in getting rid of it?
He... I haven't told him, so he doesn't know about this.
But I don't think he will miss it, because he has a lot of other toys.
Maybe we can get rid of it without him noticing.
So you hope you don't win this competition today?
Ida, what do you have?
Well, I have an incubator I wish I could get rid of.
Of course!
Ehm, well, I got it for another task in the programme.
I have been incubating a chicken throughout the summer.
It has been on my kitchen counter all that time. Ugly, big and green!
I don't want it anymore.
I have discovered that I will never incubate a chicken again!
I want to get rid of it.
It's a Cimuka Df105, isn't it? Isn't it pretty good though?
Ehrm... If that's correct, you're insane.
It has the name right there.
You could swap with Steinar. Would that suit your home better? What do you think?
I think that green color suits the home better, yes.
Can you incubate other things in it too?
Like what, Solveig? -Well, I don't know.
Pancakes, for example? -I don't think so.
Incubate mittens for the winter.
Your own eggs? -That would be interesting!
You would have to freeze them. -Yes, that's what I'll do.
Great! Amir... -No.
What did you say? Are you done? -I'm finished.
Yes, ok. Amir, what do you have?
Yes, what do I have?
This here.
This fortune.
I have come here a couple of times with a project
which I call "Ode to the 1-Krone coin".
I have talked about it in the other episodes.
I've been walking around collecting 1 kroner coins, quite simply.
Once a week I bring my eyes and walk around to find 1-kroner coins lying on the ground.
But I have never received points for it on the prize tasks.
Yes, you have, but you have received very few points.
And now I just want the 1-kroner out of my house.
Solveig, what do you have?
I have this.
Assault alarm? -No, it's not.
Is it a car key? Can we win a car?
No. It's... -Is this a guessing contest?
Yes! No, it's not that either.
It's a gadget my son found on the street.
You call it a gadget? -It's a garage opener.
That's cool! -Well...
That your son found on the street? -Yes, and brought it home.
I assume it's a neighbour who owns it, and probably misses it.
Yes, that's for sure.
But then I haven't bothered to hang up posters and make a fuss.
I could have walked around the neighbourhood to check,
but that would seem a little strange and suspicious.
So now it's just lying on the dresser in the hallway
and it stares at me every time I walk by.
You can't bring yourself to throw it out? -No, I can't!
It gives me a bad conscience. I want to get rid of it.
Your last chance is to mention it on TV. Maybe they're watching?
If I now press it, and you, neighbour, are watching, and the gate opens,
then it's yours. Then you should call me.
Yes, because these things work from a distance of many miles.
That's what the whole concept is about. If one opens, they all open.
But great! I understand you well.
I don't think I would have made that effort myself, to be honest.
And as always, we have saved the biggest present for last.
Einar, what do you have?
You know when you move into a new apartment that you have bought?
And those who owned it before have been very good at cleaning it,
but forgot to move out one thing.
Then it's a shame that it's this thing.
What the... -Strangely enough, they let this remain.
That was left in your apartment? -Yes, it was.
And I have really wanted to get rid of it ever since I moved in.
And you managed to get it here? -Yes, this was a great opportunity!
I have got movers to help, and all.
It must weigh 100 kilos! -Much more than that.
So you are using the opportunity here to tidy up your home. Well, I guess more people are doing that.
Yes, so one of you will... You can incubate it into something nice if you win, Ida.
I don't want any of this stuff!
Today no one wants to win.
I want to walk around with that opener of yours.
Since the winner gets all these things to take home,
then it will be bitter for you, who have brought the heaviest thing you have.
The moving agency you got help from got it here. But you're stuck with the trip home.
It may roll out of the trunk on the way home.
Out on the highway, yes. That can happen to the best of us.
Have you made up your mind? -I have to decide along the way here.
I think it's a little difficult.
I probably think of Amir's things as the highest in value, monetarily.
But I don't really understand Amir's line of thinking.
You'll get one point, then.
Yes, thanks.
Solveig, you'll get two points. -Really? Not more?
Do you not want points? -Yes.
The incubator will receive three points. In the middle of the pack.
Spider-Man-stuff gets four.
You get five... -I get five points?
For the inconvenience, you will get five points for that stove.
Today's first five points.
Olli, in my eyes there are three things one can never get enough of.
That's holiday, bacon and foam. -Yes.
I can't help you with the first two at the moment,
but I can at least give you a bit of the last one.
Hi. -Hi.
This is Zalo, isn't it? [Norwegian soap brand]
Yes.
"Make the most foam."
"Make the most foam"
"You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now."
Oi.
Oh, that stresses me out.
Yes, the task is to make as much foam as possible.
Should we just get started? -Yes.
Then we start with the whole gang.
So, I only know how to make foam when bathing.
And it's just doing this.
I have no plan.
It's frothy.
Lots of soap. That's the trick.
That's what people usually get wrong, too little soap and too much water.
I bet people have done that down there. They have put soap in that big pool.
Then the mixing ratio will be wrong.
Right, they don't make watertight "cushion boxes". [to store chair cushions for outdoor furniture]
I can't imagine that there is any other way to solve this task.
Four, three, two, one...
Time.
I'm quite satisfied.
I can't imagine a better solution than this.
How long is it left now? -3 minutes and 30 seconds.
Right.
Look how good this foam is! Huh?
And He said, "Let there be foam!"
Ha, ha, that's good.
Four, three, two, one...
Yes.
I want to start with you, Solveig.
So you have filled a leaky cushion box, experimentally, with foam and water.
And you can't imagine that there is any better solution.
That's impressive, even after trying it for a long time.
"No one can do better than this."
I felt so clever when I moved it over to the tap.
And what do you think now?
I could probably take a look around before I started.
I thought when you started with the birdbath, that it was a weak starting point.
But there was an astonishing amount of foam!
It was a good idea to have that staging post for the foam first.
Then you get the goods processed immediately.
I think it was impressively done by everyone.
Do you think so? -Yes...
Not all of them. I'm done with you. I'm not counting you.
Amir, it looked relatively hopeless at first.
But it didn't end that badly! -That's how we do it in my home country.
You've done this a lot before. -Yes.
Steinar, impressive that you managed to get Olli to do the job for you.
Yes, he was there.
I thought he might as well hold it so I could sit down and relax a bit.
It's strange you haven't thought of that in previous tasks. -It actually is!
Yes, it's actually strange that you haven't.
It's a little difficult to say if there are any clear winners here.
Is there a clear loser? -Well, there might be.
Who could it be?
But things aren't always the way they appear to be.
With Ida's, an ever so slight foam miracle happened a few floors below.
It's pretty amazing!
Yes, it was absolutely amazing.
So it is foam that comes up from the sewer.
Through all the sewer pipes and up the can, simply.
Through the sewer and up the toilet.
Do you remember what you did with the foam? -No.
We can have a look.
Yes! That's brilliant.
Hello, look at this!
This is where it all went. I wondered where all the foam was.
It came up from the toilet in the basement!
I'm very happy that I found out about that.
Yes!
Yes.
So much foam. That's lovely, that poop foam there.
Foam is foam. -I also think that foam is foam.
I would've understood if you didn't know where it came from, but you were well aware of that.
Yes, but I was so happy that I lost my mind completely.
That was when I realised that this victory is mine.
At least you cleaned the pipes in my house, which I'm grateful for.
It removes all doubt about who wins.
Do you want the rest of the results too? I'll give you those.
Ida, we can reveal that you won.
The last place is unfortunately just as simple, Solveig.
It wasn't that much.
Einar, you get the second last.
Amir in third place, and Steinar in second place.
First place to you, Ida.
And the points, then?
Then we can see that in total, after two tasks...
Yes. -Oi, oi!
Shared first place, Einar one point behind.
Solveig, you have a little to go on.
We'll take a little break and we'll be back shortly.
Now I would like to see something that includes excitement,
time pressure, quick thinking,
complicated series of numbers, and an intense battle against the clock.
You want to see some people count? -Yes!
Counting, the Rolls-Royce of TV entertainment.
Hold on tight. There will be a count here.
"Count as high as you can."
"Olli must be able to hear every number." -"Highest number wins."
"You have 45 seconds. Your time starts now."
One, two, three, four...
...21, 22, 23, 24...
...41, 42, 43, 44...
...70, 71, 72, 73...
One million, two million, three million...
...110, 111, 112, 113...
Stop. -What? I did not understand this task.
...119, 120... -Stop.
It was 120, that. That's all right. Goodbye.
...121, 122, 123...
...133. -Stop.
Satisfied? -Yes actually.
...134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139. -Stop.
139 is fine, that.
...30 billion, 40 billion. -Time.
Yes, I'm done. I counted the highest. No one said anything about how to count.
Yes.
You are so gullible!
Do you really think we just want to see how fast you can count?
And you all seemed so happy.
Like a child who has just learned to count to a hundred and wants to show it off.
Fantastically impressive. But Amir, you're thinking outside the box.
No one told you how to count, that's right.
But I like your facial expression, Solveig.
This is the first time I have seen someone count to 120 with horror!
"Wondering horror" is adequate.
The gears started turning when you counted.
I realised it was wrong.
At least you knew it was wrong! Steinar did not.
No, the only way I have counted is from 1 and up.
The old fashioned way. -Yes.
And then there were the points, then. -Yes.
It's unfortunately like that Solveig... You came to 118. One point for you.
Ida beat you by two, 120.
Then comes Steinar, with 133.
Einar, 139.
And then there is Amir, who had 40 billion.
That's 28 million times more than you, Einar.
That's high. -Very impressive.
I am deeply impressed.
Could I have said "infinite"?
You could've said 41 billion. -Oh! Why didn't I just say that?
Even Amir had more to go on.
Once he had cracked the code, there was certainly more to go on.
But it held in plenty!
It was 28 million times more than the one who came in second place.
There's often a lot of hustle and bustle in here with five self-centered participants chatting.
I think we could all benefit from a little break
where we can see them, but not hear them.
Zip it.
Hey, hey, guys.
Oi, a note.
No no no...
I can't deal with such tasks.
"Make the best silent film."
"The movie may not be longer than 1 minute."
This is the worst I can get.
Amir, he's already made that movie.
There's a word I've had ringing in my head for many years now,
that I like a lot.
And that's the "beggar's staff".
A silent film. Is it a bit like this? Is it kind of like that?
I can dramatise a famous story.
For example, The Little Match Girl.
I'm wondering if I should go for that.
I have no imagination, so I can't make something fictional.
I can simply make something...
I can make... factual...
I can make school TV.
What I'll do is to mess about a little with the silent film as a genre,
by making different sounds, crushing and destroying different things,
and then I pick up a card that expresses a different sound than what you would expect.
Right? Great fun.
Poor, poor, poor... We're going back to the 19th century.
Can I borrow your suit?
Yes, the participants have been given the task of making the best silent film.
It may be no longer than 1 minute.
So here you just have to expect what you want to expect.
I expect nothing.
I used to, and was punished for it.
So I'll think it will go badly, and then I can be pleasantly surprised.
Already I feel that you have set the bar too high.
But we'll see. We can start with Ida.
No...
A little late for work...
Now I have to be careful so I don't get into an accident on the way
Same movie as last time. -That was embarrassing.
Stop it.
Yes, but I seem to remember... -Everyone thinks it was embarrassing.
But I am pleased. -Good.
What job were you going to? -That's not relevant.
She worked in a bakery or something.
But this was a typical silent film. -Yes.
Maybe she was a cooper who was going to work.
I was my own stuntwoman, as well. -Yes, you did the stunts yourself.
You think it was too bad? -No, we didn't say that!
We will see other people's contributions as well, so I would relax if I were you.
But I liked that you borrowed Olli's suit so he had to wear it soaking wet afterwards.
That's a plus in my book.
Her own stunts, but my suit. -Yes.
Who is next? -Shall we see, we can take...
Let's take Solveig, then.
She sticks to the classic part of silent films, and does it really well.
Watch carefully for extremely good acting.
"Copenhagen, new year's eve 1893."
"Ah, look how nice it is in there, and how cold it is out here."
"Only one match stick left..."
This is supposed to be a somewhat pleasant and fun family programme.
You go for suffering and death.
That's where you find entertainment. -Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
But I'm thinking, do I get extra points for writing in Danish? [written standard in Norway in the 1800s]
You wrote in Danish? I didn't notice that. -You didn't? Okay.
Then there are no extra points. -No.
Then it should have said "In Danish:"
It's the funniest death I've ever seen.
That's how they played dead then. In terms of time, it was played correctly.
I did not get accepted into the Theater Academy. -I understand that.
But had it been in the 19th century...
Amir, what did you think of Solveig's contribution? -I think it was amazing.
I noticed that you were enjoying yourself very much.
Many silent films were entertainment that you were meant to laugh at, too.
About 60-70% of them. I laughed both times, so they did their job well.
Thanks.
I haven't seen you laugh as much as you did when she died in the end.
But we have more. -Absolutely.
We can take a look at Einar, who will both entertain and educate.
"Thuja." [A tree in the cypress family]
"popular garden plant. Fast growing."
"Evergreen."
"Suitable for baking."
"Hehe, nah."
"3 fun facts: - Outer wood is almost white, heartwood is root brown. - Wood density of 0.39g/cm3 at 15% humidity."
"- Atle has thujas at home."
"There are 5 types of thuja: - Thuja koraiensis: poisonous thuja from Korea."
"- Thuja occidentalis: very poisonous, up to 20 meters tall, American!! - Thuja Plicata: 'Giant thuja'. Can get 60!!! meters tall."
"- Thuja sutchuenensis: critically endangered. - Thuja cockishitus. (Nah, just 'kidding'!)" [wordplay on 'thuja']
"Thuja be continued..."
Yes.
At least it was educational.
I have never seen a silent film so packed with information.
And so short. -In such a short time, yes!
I guess I should rent it and see it again, to get all the information.
You might not be taking advantage of the full potential of a silent film,
but as an early flip chart it was very good.
Thank you.
Are you happy yourself? -Very happy.
I had forgotten a lot, which I have now learned again.
You spent a lot of time writing. -Yes, I did.
It happened along the way there.
Do we have anything at the end? -Absolutely.
I think it is well delivered. -There are two left.
We can take someone who plays with the silent film's strengths and weaknesses.
Can't we look at Steinar? -Yes!
Welcome to my silent film where I play with silent film tropes. The film is called "House-noise/brawl 2".
The film was saved by bloopers. -Yes.
It's rarely a good sign for a movie.
The one with the vase at the end was "art by accident".
No, it was not an "accident".
That was the intention, it's a twist at the end.
Planned fun. -Yes.
Enough about that. We'll take a short break.
Yes. We have come a long way.
There's a lot of variation here, but we're missing one.
Absolutely. We are missing Amir.
"There once was the richest shipping magnate in the whole world!"
"But we was soooooo unhappy!"
"Even flowers became sad when they saw him..."
"Until one day he saw a sign!"
"Eternal happiness to the one who can pull out the staff."
"No one in the world managed to pull out the staff!!!!!"
"Hurray, he did it! He became a beggar and lived happily ever after."
"The Beggar's Staff, a film by Amir."
Yes. It was a gripping story.
There is no doubt that it resembled a silent film the most. -Thank you.
I loved the special effects. They were probably better than what they could do back then.
Nice cigar. -Thank you.
Is it allowed to say one thing before you hand out points? -Yes, you know what, it's allowed!
I just wanted to mention that the comedy often lies in the tragedy,
Yes.
Unless it's just tragic. -Yes, that's true.
It's in the eye of the beholder. -Yes.
Which one were you thinking of? Your own, perhaps?
Yes. -Right.
I choose not to put anyone in last place. That would be mean of me to do.
So Steinar and Solveig get to share the penultimate place.
What? -Yes. With two points.
Is that not impressive? -Yes.
For the effort!
You deserved two alone. Steinar could have come last here,
but gets promoted, because of the bloopers, up to Solveig's level.
I was lucky. -Very lucky.
I will not judge harshly when you have done your best.
Unfortunately, I see that you have.
That's the sad part. But still, I feel generous today.
Third place? -Ida comes in third place.
Unbelievably enough, but it was an entertaining movie. -That is unbelievable
Four points go to Einar, and five points to Amir!
Overall, we can see that this is the situation. -Oi!
No! -15 for Einar.
I think Solveig should get my point, because her film was a lot better than mine.
But she doesn't get any more points either way! She was getting two points no matter what you got.
Let me get 0, and then Solveig can get one more point. -But there's not one to spare, she'll still get two.
She can have three. -It's not possible.
Everyone can have my points.
I'll be happy to take them.
It's... -Solveig's film was really nice!
But it doesn't help her, she is already in the mud.
With one more point, she wouldn't have any more chance to win!
I tried, Solveig. -Thank you, Steinar.
She wouldn't have a chance anyway. -Not today. Next time!
But there's one task left. Not that it helps you in any way.
But the rest of you can do something about your results.
So get up on stage and do the last task in the studio.
For tonight's last task, we will actually have visitors in the studio.
So then I say, like Tande-P used to say: "Roll in the football team!" [Norwegian TV personality, journalist & writer]
No!
Yes.
Welcome to you all.
What are your names? You can start at the far end.
Cesc. -"Cesc", yes.
Goofy.
Johnaldo.
Spiralen. [the spiral]
Gerro.
Kongen. [the king]
Hey, hey, hey!
That will be my son's name!
Sveini.
Hello. Superstein.
Masterbyp.
El Toro.
El Toro, yes...
Andy.
Great bunch. Yes.
This is Haukås FK.
The task today, for you, is to remember what the players' names are.
It should be easy and straightforward, if you are good at remembering names.
Now I will ask you to say one by one what they are called. We will have 3 rounds.
I will call one of them out and pick which of you will name them.
We start with the one who's not in the lead. The one at the bottom. That's you, Solveig.
Then I'll tell you something.
I have been thinking, "Now they're trying to fool me."
"It's not the names." I've counted how many people wear glasses.
There are three who have glasses, one with blue shoes, three with beards.
So you can ask me that.
But I'm going to start with number six.
That's number six. -Yes.
What is the nickname? -It wasn't you who were...?
No, heck.
You don't get any hints. -No.
We need an answer.
Johnaldo. -Nice.
It was Spiralen. -Yes.
That was wrong. -Yes.
Ida! Number 11.
Gerro.
Yes. Can you turn around? -No!
Ok. Steinar, get ready. Let's take number three.
Fuck.
Kerk.
Goofy. -That was Goofy, yes!
And then there's Amir.
Let's take number 10, then.
Kongen.
Oh! -That came quickly.
Einar, number 17.
Easy. That's easy.
No... Masterbyp?
Ay, El Toro! Sorry, man.
Then we go back to Solveig.
Can number 13 take a step forward?
Hey.
Your name is, and it was weird, but your name is Polinabo.
That's it. -Superstein.
It was close. Ida. Can 14 take a step forward?
Is that Gerro? No, stop! I'm not saying that.
I need an answer. -I have to say Gerro.
I couldn't think of anything else.
Hell! Pardon. It is good. Masterbyp.
All right, Steinar. Then we can get number nine.
Where is Gerro? -Shit.
This was difficult.
No, god...
Johnny. -Johnny?
It's Gerro. -It's Gerro!
Amir, number four.
Easy. -Yes.
I won't even bother to answer. I know everyone except this one.
You answer pass? That's OK.
Then you can turn around. -So that was Johnaldo.
All right. Einar, number one.
Cesc! -Yes, right!
I'm glad it was you, you're the only one I know.
You can turn- There, yes. Lovely.
Great. Then we have a whole round left.
Now it may be starting to get easier.
Then we will return to Solveig. -Wonderful.
Number one, can you move forward?
Cesc. -Correct! Not bad.
Is that allowed?
And then Ida. Can we get six?
No, this is embarrassing...
Why is it embarrassing? -It's embarrassing when it's my turn, since I don't remember.
I haven't learned them.
Can I have a hint? No, I'll get myself together.
I don't remember, so I say Spiralen.
No, was that it? -Is it possible?
Foul play! -Not bad.
Steinar, here comes 33.
Easy. -It's El Toro's brother.
How about Graybeard? I don't remember, Olli!
I don't know.
Okay, um...
Klædden.
Then you can turn around. -Andy.
All right, Solveig.
Amir, here is 14.
Masterbyp.
Correct.
And Einar, here comes the last one. Three.
Goofy.
That is correct!
Yes, then I have noted that it's a tie between Amir and Einar.
So we need to have a quick final round.
There will be three short rounds.
I say a number, that person goes forward.
Then the first person to remember the name calls it out.
Ok? Do you understand that?
Should we say our name first? -No. This is not a quiz.
I don't remember.
We start straight on, with number 13.
Superstein! -That was simultaneous. 1-1.
No. -Yes. I decide.
Number 33.
Andy! -Ah, Amir.
Good, Amir. -Wonderful.
And then we take four.
Johnaldo! -1-1.
Then there will be one more. Number 10.
Kongen!
Then you won, Einar. Congratulations.
Then we'll take the summary back in our seats.
Many thanks to Haukås FK! Thank you for coming.
Yes, I have counted.
Steinar, you didn't get any names. One point.
Okay.
It was a bad task and bad TV entertainment.
We're sorry about that.
Ida and Solveig, you remembered one. Shared third place, three points.
Amir, you get four points.
And Einar, congratulations, five points.
Five points to Einar.
Then we'll see the total. Einar runs away with the first prize!
Come and receive all the gifts people do not want at home.
Especially your own stove.
So far this season it looks like this.
We are back next time with new tasks,
but with the same lovely, old participants.
Original Norwegian subtitles: Karl Powell (Iyuno SDI-Group)
Basic translation and timing title cards of silent movies by: /u/Sulimonstrum
More translation by: /u/msbtvxq, registered Norwegian.
Turning 'honors' into 'honours' by: /u/Taskmastermaster