Idiot!
No!
Yes!
"Cool to be back with Kongen Befaler then..."
Welcome to a brand new season of Kongen Befaler.
By my side sits, as always, my faithful
but, alas, so simple assistant, Olli Wermskog!
Yes, that's right. It's nice to be back.
New season. I'm looking forward to it. - Good that you think it's nice,
but again this year, the show will not only be about you.
So we have to move on. We have five brand new participants
who will entertain, disappoint and torment us in this round. And they are:
Harald Eia.
Janne Formoe.
Kristine Grændsen.
Martin Lepperød.
And Henrik Elvestad.
Before we move on, Olli,
you know what these five hopeful participants are fighting for?
No. I have no idea.
This time, there's a little twist.
We have prepared for them, a fight for... a bust in gold of... me!
Yes! That's new!
My God, what a bunch you are! I have to say that.
You have become a tight-knit bunch, right Harald? - Absolutely!
We have moved in together. - You have managed that in such a short time?
But why are you going to win this season, Harald?
My father said to me: "Harald, you don't have much talent,"
"you're not handy or particularly smart. But one trait can take you far in life."
"You're a vriompeis." [an argumentative know-it-all]
Yes, I can confirm that. - Me too.
Janne, who do you fear most here?
Henrik Elvestad. In every way. - You fear Henrik Elvestad?
I so desperately want him to like me.
I think he's so serious.
Yes, it's completely true. - Because you think it's fun to win?
I think it's fun to win. There's nothing wrong with that.
It's probably the competitive instinct that is your strongest trait,
but what do you think is your second strongest trait?
After doing a lot of tasks, I'm unsure.
I don't know if I have anything other than a competitive instinct.
I see. Kristine? - Yes.
You have sold yourself as both handy and smart.
Will we see any traces of that?
I think my ideas, my thoughts,
express that I am both handy and smart.
The result usually doesn't reflect that as much.
But that's on the result, not on me.
Right.
It's mainly the result's fault.
The excuses have already begun.
I enjoy the excuses.
Martin, can you briefly summarise
your ten most important qualities that come in handy here?
The TEN most important?
Yes, that come in handy in this programme.
Hesitant? - Your best... Hesitant.
Hesitant. Bad hearing. That's two.
Yes. - Insecure.
Insecure.
We'll stop at three. - Yes, that's okay.
You have promoted yourself well.
We have to get started with the first task.
For the prize task today, we have asked the participants to bring something
that has a surprisingly satisfactory effect on them.
Yes, and which they are also willing to pass on to the winner.
Since this will go into a prize pot that the winner will take home.
That is important to keep in mind.
Who do you want to see get satisfied first?
We're not going there, Olli.
We can start at the end, with Harald.
I have brought a thing that very often gives me satisfaction.
If you look at the thing itself, it may not be very interesting.
You're right about that.
That's right. This is, as we can see, a hoop.
What I often do when I get home
after a long day of failed projects,
since there are a lot of those, I take this out,
and start doing stuff like this.
This is...
But I'll give you that! That's not all that's surprising,
it's also surprisingly satisfying for me to see that you have such loose hips.
I didn't know you were so loose and flexible in the hips. I thought your body would be very stiff.
You're good at that!
Yes, that was surprisingly satisfying. Martin.
What do you have with you? - I have...
I bought a bean bag online...
Of course. - Which was supposed to be two meters big.
Broad and long. And then I got this instead.
So it turns out that I'm supposed to fill it myself.
Really? But you didn't get those little beans?
No, I didn't get anything! I got nothing!
But can you wear it? - Yes, that's what I found out!
And it has given me so much... I can show you.
Because it's pretty neat. And it has given me an immense amount of joy.
Let's see.
Because you turn into the ugliest teddy bear in the world.
Ok. I'm thinking we should go to... Kristine.
Can we see what you have with you that satisfies you?
Something that has a surprisingly satisfactory effect on me is...
fireworks! - Oi!
Oi. - Oi, oi, oi.
No, it's sparkling over here!
So fun!
Now I feel very powerful, that I have power.
It may not be very surprising, but it's satisfying.
Then we go to you, Janne.
What have you brought that is surprisingly satisfying?
I have brought this, which has a surprisingly satisfactory effect on me.
Oh yes.
[Jan Fredrik Karlsen, music manager and TV personality, whom Janne is in a relationship with]
After so many years, I still get satisfied.
That's amazing. What a hero.
But why is it surprising that your boyfriend has a...
Because no one thinks I have that effect.
That's what's surprising.
Let her answer. - Let her answer incorrectly.
After so many years, relationships can go a bit awry.
But this just gets better and better.
Fantastic.
Very good.
Ok, Henrik. What have you brought?
Right now, it's the most surprisingly satisfying
to have Jan Fredrik Karlsen sitting here. But I have brought something
that is surprisingly satisfying to look at.
I have some photos.
A small selection. And we'll go back in time to when Atle and I first met.
It's in the early 90s.
Would you look at that. - Yes, this...
You're sure it's not my son?
Atle was then the director of a comedy show.
And we probably also have some photos from a party.
That sounds very scary.
Look at that. That's great.
If we zoom out a little, we see that the party is well underway.
But there is one who...
I don't know why, but it's just lovely to look at.
Very good. Fantastic. Well delivered. - I think everyone has understood the task.
But we still have to hand out points.
I think I have to put the fireworks last.
Simply because I don't like it. It gives me very little.
It was supposed to give ME something, not you.
Yes, it should also give me something.
I'm not just going to sit here and observe you. I would like to get something out of it too.
Martin. Second to last.
I respect that, Atle.
Yes, you do. - So this is how it's going to be.
As you should.
The rest is very difficult. Harald, you'll get three points for that one.
It was surprising, but I think it...
We just can't ignore Jan Fredrik. So you'll get five points.
Yes! - Then you get four points for the photos.
Congratulations. The first five points go to Janne Formoe.
Atle, do you know if your fire alarm is connected directly to the fire station?
Yes, it is.
Right. I can confirm that it is not.
Am I allowed to do this?
Am I... Hey!
That's irritating. - Yes. Very irritating.
Very irritating. Now it's even more irritating, actually.
What the hell... What is this?
There. Not irritating.
"Burn this letter as fast as possible."
"You may not use matches, a lighter"
"or other things that are meant to make fire."
"Your time starts now."
Can I go get some stuff? I don't want to set fire to anything here.
The shed, for example? - Are you going to set fire to the shed?
I'm not going to set fire to the shed. I would like to go get something in the shed.
Do you want to join? - No.
So, the task is about burning up the letter as fast as possible.
But they can not use tools that are intended to make fire.
This appeals to the Stone Age people among us.
And we have some of those on the panel, so this should go well.
You would think so.
We can start by taking a look at how Henrik, Harald and Kristine's
survival instincts solve this task.
Damn. Ok. Keep your head cool.
Grill. We have to grill it.
It's gas. There is gas on the grill.
That went pretty well.
The only thing I came up with is a magnifying glass.
That's how I got things to burn when I was little.
Yes. I believe in this.
It's fire!
Is it burning? - Yes.
It's burning up in there, yes.
There. - Yes, then that's gone.
And a grill is not meant to make fire, but food.
Just so that is said.
To create fire, I need three things: combustible material, oxygen and high temperature.
I'll test it on my hand. Well...
As you can see, my hand doesn't get burned. This doesn't hurt at all.
If there isn't a hint of anything in the next five minutes,
then I'll go to the kitchen. - All right.
There's a microwave here! - There's a microwave?
Which probably doesn't... Yes, it does.
The conditions are now present
for a rapid chemical process to occur.
It's typical for Henrik Elvestad, to try to find a field fire.
But that won't help. People don't burn their fields
at this time of the year.
Voila!
It's a little warmer, but it has only gone up to, like,
thirty degrees. Maximum!
I'm just going to turn on the oven while we... just switching to plan C.
Wait! Look at this! This is fun. - What happened?
Somehow the stovetop got turned on.
I have faith in this. Why didn't I think of this right away?
I may have to... Oi, now... There we go!
And so... This was fantastic to see.
The worst part is that I'm pretty happy.
Henrik, at first I thought that if the task had been
"give the letter perfect body temperature",
you would have done very well.
The microwave, what's the problem there, Henrik?
I don't know, Harald. You get that, otherwise I wouldn't have put it in.
Can I please... - Yes, I'll allow you. I know you'll say it anyway.
I'll die if I don't say it. - I know. Spit it out!
Paper doesn't contain water.
Only things that contain water are heated in the microwave.
But I... I learned something now.
Kristine, just a little question: what do you think about this lighter?
The lighter on the grill. The one that is there to light the grill, make a flame..
That lighter... Is it made to make flames?
Would you say that? - No.
That's okay. Then you have argued against that.
Thank you for the contribution.
Harald. I think it was well delivered.
And the good thing is that it's also a kind of warning. So people don't use toasters like that.
I always try to add a moral to what I do, not just solve the task.
Great. Can we have the times? - Absolutely. You'll get that.
Henrik spent 20 minutes and 31 seconds.
I thought it was more.
Kristine, 4 minutes and 56 seconds.
Harald, 3:48.
So far... - Yes, so far so good.
Yes, but it's too early for Harald to cheer, Olli.
Because we have two participants left.
Yes, it's Janne and Martin. Any gut feeling?
I have a great gut feeling, but not on this one.
But I have a generally great gut feeling.
Ok. Martin? - It's pretty good.
That's great. Then we'll see if that's right. - Yes...
But I can't use
matches, lighters or things that are meant to make fire.
But I can set fire to something else, and then set fire to the letter with it.
Can't I?
Oi. Yes. Could you hold this?
Like that. I'm on a good track here now.
I thought I would try to find a toaster.
Unless there's something here? And this isn't
meant to make fire.
But does it make fire?
If this makes fire? - No, it doesn't make fire,
it puts out the fire. But it'll burn up the letter, right?
Well, that didn't burn up. - No.
I'll light it here at the top, then the flame goes all the way down to the twine.
Then the twine burns, drips on the lion's head.
Lion. Fire. Letter.
And if I see any sign of the fire going out, then...
Yes!
Oh right... But isn't this... Isn't this supposed to increase the fire?
That was really disappointing, that spray.
But it's not over until it's over.
So it's possible to look for things.
Because this didn't go very well. I'll bring the letter back inside.
Why are you using that oil? - If I don't use it then it'll...
get burned.
That was stupid. I was trying to protect it.
But it's supposed to burn.
How would you say the task is going? - I think it's going really well.
I'll just do that. Just put it all in there.
It's 37 degrees in there, so that will go well.
Last attempt. But it's soaked in oil.
There! Now it's smoking! Yes!
This is amazing! Why didn't I think of this right away?
No - Oh. Yes!
Thank you. The task is complete.
Oh yes. Yes, letter.
It won't fucking catch fire. Why doesn't it catch fire?
The letter is burning! This is going to work, Olli!
It's burning, it's burning like hell. The letter is gone. The letter is gone.
There the letter is gone. - Then I thank you for having me.
Goodbye. - Goodbye.
There's a lot to tackle here.
May I ask you, Martin? It burned very well in the end,
in my office.
Is there anything you want to tell me before I hand out points?
No, there actually isn't, Atle.
All right. But can I just ask, just to be specific,
did you use... I have two questions.
Did you use, for example, a lighter or matches to solve this task?
You don't have to answer that, Martin. - I feel it's a trap.
Yes, I used matches... - Matches!
I can say what was in the letter:
"Burn this letter as fast as possible. You may not use matches, a lighter"
"or other things meant to make fire. Your time starts now."
Are matches meant to make fire? - Yes.
All right. You answered correctly, but you don't get extra points for that.
You can stick together with Kristine,
because she will also get disqualified from this task.
No! - The task wasn't solved.
If I can say something... - Be quiet.
I'm going to talk to Janne. Maybe we'll forget all that.
We will return to that, but we'll have a short break first.
Janne, I want to quote something you said before using a fire extinguisher
to try to set fire to the letter.
"it puts out the fire, but it'll burn up the letter, right?"
I thought it would be pulverised. - Yes, because you thought of something.
That's what I'm wondering. What were you thinking?
My problem is that I have bad impulse control.
And when everything is timed, I get so much inner stress that I can't think clearly.
Even though I'm thinking. I just want to do it.
This probably isn't the only time we'll see that. - Yes, I think it is.
Do you want some times? - Yes.
I'm worried that Janne will beat me.
Because it's bitter to be beaten by someone who has used a fire extinguisher...
We will see.
Martin, even though it was a disqualification, wasn't it?
A disqualification, yes. - The time was 9 minutes and 57 seconds.
Janne, you spent 26 minutes and 3 seconds.
You beat me.
Kristine and Martin then get zero points.
Janne, you get a third place. Three points.
Henrik, you get a second place. - Imagine that.
Harald, you get five points. Congratulations.
Right, so now you have made a... You have a balloon
as a witty transition to a task where the participants
inflate balloons, right? - Yes, that's right.
Are you ready? - No, we won't have time for that,
because now we'll have a task where the participants inflate balloons.
Hey.
Balloons.
I see a table, a plate. Then I see a pump under there.
Interesting.
Shall we see here.
"Inflate, tie and burst as many balloons as possible."
"When the first balloon bursts, you can't inflate more balloons."
So that means I have to inflate more balloons before I start bursting them, right? Correct.
"Inflated balloons that have not burst give minus points."
"You have 1,020 seconds. Your time starts now."
So I have to inflate a lot of balloons, tie, and burst them in 1,020 seconds,
which I don't quite know what that is, before I have the time to think.
So that's the task?
That's the task. - Are you happy with that?
Thousand?
Is that a minute?
To make things clear, the participants must inflate, tie, and burst
as many balloons as possible in 1,020 seconds, which is 17 minutes.
Yes, that's correct.
I must admit that I am very curious about Janne's contribution here.
We can start with her. - Yes, and we'll also throw in Kristine.
Let's see...
Sixty times ten is six thousand. So...
Don't look at me when I do maths.
So it's fifteen minutes then.
Janne is probably very good at calculating time. I think she'll win.
A thousand seconds?
There are sixty seconds in one minute.
So sixty thousand. Sixty plus sixty is one hundred and twenty.
Two minutes?
How long has it been now? - Probably quite a long time.
Fuck.
Yes, ok, now I'm bursting them. - Yes?
I don't like this very much.
There. - Then I'll stop the time.
Yes and, of course, you're not saying anything.
No.
Yes.
What was the math? Was it sixty times ten is six thousand?
I can't bear to talk about it.
But we need some numbers.
Kristine was done bursting her eleven balloons after seven minutes.
So you had some time left. And Janne thought 1,020 seconds was two minutes.
So you managed to burst seven balloons and were well within the deadline.
Good. I think we should look at the rest of the solutions
before I get more outraged at the level.
Then you will see Martin, Harald and Henrik inflate balloons
to then burst them.
"You get minus points for inflated balloons that have not burst."
Now we have to take it easy.
"Inflate, tie, and burst as many balloons as possible."
So far, I understand that.
"When the first balloon bursts..."
I don't understand that. "...you can not inflate more balloons."
But the first balloon won't burst.
Will you say how much time I have left? - No.
No? So you'll just say "stop"? - I won't say that either.
Why? Why? Why won't you say the time?
1,012... 1,013... - Have you calculated how long it is?
1,016... 1,017... 1,018...
"Inflate, tie, and burst as many balloons as possible."
I understand that.
"When the first balloon bursts, you can not inflate more."
I do not understand that.
1,032... 1,033... 1,034... 1,035...
What do you not understand? - I understand in isolation
that when the first balloon bursts,
then I'm not allowed... So it must be like, the one I blow up first,
if it bursts, then I can't inflate more balloons. But that's illogical.
Why would it burst unless I burst it? No one else here will burst it.
1,067... 1,068... 1,069... 1,080... 1,081...
This is number one. We'll put that there...
I can't put it there, but I'll put it here in the corner. Like that.
1,070... 1,071... 1,072... 1,073...
I'm going for the bursting now. Isn't that all right?
I think I'll start with the bursting.
I think that's the easiest way.
I'm disfigured in the face.
A very good weapon.
A very clumsy place to have them!
Are there more?
Olli, help me... There are more here.
Finished. - Finished?
Can I go? - That's up to you, but preferably.
Preferably go? - Yes.
Ok. Then I'll go.
Preferably?
Isn't it strange to think that you are sitting here with
Janne, Kristine and Martin,
and yet you're the idiot here?
That's correct, but it's... I have to... So...
But I got a lot of balloons after a while.
Can we get some numbers? - Yes, absolutely.
Martin inflates and bursts 15 balloons in 7.5 minutes.
Harald inflates 38 balloons in 15 minutes, and is the one who spent his time the best.
But, still, Henrik, even with all that messing about, you ended up with
49 balloons in 12.5 minutes. You are therefore the winner of this task.
Fantastic! That's so good! - I'm sorry.
Good! - Not bad.
This victory cost blood, sweat and tears, and honor, and everything.
You know what? I'm really happy for you. I'm so glad Harald didn't win. No offense,
but I think it's boring if you win everything. - I think it's a bit boring myself.
Yes, and now we'll take a short break and be right back.
Yes, it's time to serve a new task, and what's on the menu, Olli?
On the menu is serving.
Now I'm getting a little stressed.
Lots of glass. Hat. Suitcase. Ironing board. Typewriter.
Olli? - Yes?
He's here somewhere. What are you doing?
Nothing. Just sitting. - Ok.
Lights, five. Six. A bowling ball.
"Put as many of these things as possible on the table in front of Olli."
"You can only go up the stairs once. You have six minutes." ["go" is the same word as "walk" in Norwegian]
"Your time starts now." I don't understand the task.
Olli isn't here.
Olli? Olli?
Olli must be upstairs. Olli? - Yes?
Are you upstairs? - Yes.
I understand the task.
When Henrik has understood the task, probably everyone has understood it.
I think you are very skeptical of the tasks.
You think there is some deception with every word.
That's right, because there has been some deception in some of the tasks.
I don't like to be fooled. - It's fear that gets in the way.
And that I get a little easily stressed. - Yes, that too.
But shall we take a look?
This time I have divided them into whether they remembered to congratulate me
on my birthday or not. So we'll first take a look at Henrik, Janne, Harald and Martin.
Of course, it's tempting to go for the whole table.
That doesn't work. I can't do it.
Shall we just try "full on"? I have to test if it works.
No! It doesn't work.
I'll probably have to use the ironing board. Just... Ow fuck!
I manage to get stung on the cactus. That's amateurish.
Why have you filled the jug with water?
I feel like I have to try to carry... But then it'll fall off.
I interpret it to mean that I can... "To walk" has a specific meaning.
It means to have both feet on the ground at the same time.
This is not allowed by the Norwegian Race Walking Association as a way to walk.
This is defined as running.
I am now breaking the rules of the Norwegian Race Walking Association.
I'm not going to walk up the stairs. I'm going to dance.
What are you doing? - I'm dancing up the stairs.
I'll continue with my tactics.
What was it that fell? - Probably some pasta.
I'm not walking. I'm crawling. How much time do I have left?
A little over two minutes. - Two?! We switch to dancing.
Now I regret the wool.
Fuck.
There, then I think we're going. Yes, this is no problem.
Oi, this is heavy.
No! Crisis!
Now it'll fall. There you are!
This is how I usually move. I don't like walking
more than I have to.
Do I have more time? - There are 45 seconds left.
I'll make another round!
Ah, the wax is dripping.
There, one time up the stairs. - Ten seconds left.
And that one. Like that. - There.
That is okay.
Here. - There. Time's up.
And I have now carried all the things up from the table,
and only walked up the stairs once. Technically.
Time's up. Why didn't you walk up the last time?
You could walk up once.
Tired?
Yes, but first and foremost, I'm very happy. Yes, I'm tired, it cost me a lot.
It's great, Harald, to see a real athlete
when you're about to cry after having given everything.
I have actually talked to Tore på sporet [TV show hosted by athlete Tore Strømøy] who is the Norwegian champion in race walking.
He told me those rules once, and that knowledge was useful now.
To walk is that one foot is always on the ground.
Yes, not a bad thought. We approve it. We even approve of your dancing.
But there is one left. The one who remembered to congratulate me on my birthday.
"You have six minutes. Your time starts now."
Then I reckon Olli is upstairs. And that he has a table in front of him.
Olli? - Yes?
You can come here with me.
Look now.
You can sit here.
I have put them in front of you. - Should I stop the time?
Yes. Congratulations. - Thanks.
Cheers, then. Cheers.
Thanks. - You're welcome. Good bye!
Good bye.
Are you not happy? - I'm very happy.
It's quite impressive. Here we have someone who has been to a buffet before.
Martin, you managed 18 items. - Oh, damn it!
Janne, you had 21. Henrik, 27.
There were 32 objects. You said you had taken all of them,
but I checked. There was a bowling ball and the letter left on the table.
In other words, Kristine, five points. You took all the things.
Yes, that's good! And wins the task.
The total so far today is then... Let's see.
Oi, it's a tie at the top, double 16.
And looking a little helpless in the back there, Martin.
You're not in a good position, but you still have a chance. Maybe.
We have one last task. It will, as always, take place here in the studio.
We have moved up on stage. It's time for the last task.
This looks pretty nice, Atle. It's elaborate.
It's a nice circus.
Here comes the task. One by one, you will carry cardboard boxes
through the obstacle course you see here.
The boxes are relatively normal.
Except that in each box there is an orange.
You are not allowed to take out the orange or modify the boxes.
The one who brings the most boxes, in one go, across the white line you see there,
is the winner.
If you drop any boxes, those boxes are out.
Should you step outside the tape, you are completely out.
Did you understand that? - Yes.
Great. You can put the goggles on, so you don't see anything.
Good. Then everyone has put them on. Martin, you can now take them off again.
You get to start. - Cool.
Just start when you are ready.
You can start...
Now I'll blow the whistle, and you begin.
Good job.
You can go back. - But it's timed, right?
No.
Fuck. - Then we take the next one. Harald.
Now you can start.
You are finished. - Thank you!
Next. Kristine.
Start.
Yes.
Janne.
Ok. - All right. Now I'm blowing.
You can go and sit down. Then we only have one left, Henrik.
Now we'll just see... Okay.
Yes. There is room for more.
This must be enough to win.
Janne took one more than that.
Okay, then I'll take one more.
Like that. - You can start.
This is good.
He's actually doing it.
You can do it.
Yes. Go on.
Oi oi oi.
Don't worry about that.
Where am I?
Now! - Oi.
The cow there. Get the fuck out!
Oh, that pig there!
No!
But he has many. How many does he have?
One, two, three, four, five, six.
This is so close.
Then everyone has been through the obstacle course, Atle.
Fantastically done. We'll do a small summary down in your seats.
Yes. Shall we do an ever so small summary
of how the task went?
Last, Martin. Two boxes.
Harald, second to last, three boxes.
Shared second place: Janne and Kristine, four boxes.
First place, Henrik, six boxes.
That's very good. - Congratulations.
Then it will be very exciting to see who runs away with
the hula hoop and Jan Fredrik.
You've lost Jan Fredrik before, so it's not that frightening, is it?
Easy now. - Now I'm taking it easy.
Ok, now let's take a look at the overall score.
And the overall winner is you, Henrik Elvestad!
Come up and enjoy your prizes. Fantastically well done.
Lovely.
We're back next week with more fun and games. See you!
Original Norwegian subtitles: Ingunn Løyning (Iyuno-SDI Group)
English translation: u/msbtvxq
Final pedantic tweaks: u/taskmastermaster