Isabelle, yes!
The coffee is ready.
Damn!
No!
"It's a tube, and then it goes like this"
A warm welcome to Kongen Befaler,
the programme that delicately balances on the fine line
between shame and humiliation.
Only one of these guys will be crowned the winner of a bust in gold...
of me.
And someone else who balances delicately on a fine line,
but this time between the role of a brilliant official
and a mediocre person, is you, Olli Wermskog!
Yes. - Yes.
Thank you.
That's exactly where I want to be.
Enough about you.
More about Live Nelvik!
Espen Eckbo!
Martha Leivestad!
Kristoffer Olsen!
And Henriette Steenstrup!
The first task is, as you know, a prize task.
What's on the menu today, Olli?
Today we have asked the participants
to bring something that is just inside. [inside the limit of what's acceptable]
It's an open task. - It's tricky.
Vague.
You guys need to specify it for us.
It's tempting to start with that pile in the middle there.
Get it out of the way? - Yes.
Since it's in the way of everyone else's? - Yes, it's in the way.
So please, Kristoffer. What have you brought that is just inside [acceptable]?
I'm very proud of my own body...
and have always wanted to show it off on TV.
But I understand that I'm not on Ex on the Beach.
So it's not inside [acceptable] for me to just throw off all my clothes.
But what I have done is to get a Norwegian set designer and multi-artist,
whom I will leave anonymous for now,
to make a full figure statue...
...of my body.
Beautiful body.
Wow!
Yes, it's enough now.
I need an explanation of why it's just inside [acceptable]
to have a full-size statue of yourself.
No, it's outside [unacceptable], I have to agree.
Put it down, for god's sake, and we'll sum it up later.
I'm very ready for the next one, and that is Henriette.
I have kind of gone down the more traditional route,
but this is something that a few years ago was completely 'outside',
but which, in my opinion, is just 'inside' now.
It has been sneaking back in.
And that's Crocs. - Yes, yes, yes.
Yes yes.
We all agree that they are ugly as hell.
So the only thing that makes them 'inside' for me is that they're so comfortable.
There's nothing you would rather wear on your feet in the cabin.
So that makes them just 'inside'?
That's up to the eye of the beholder. I understand the argument.
But they're just so ugly that they might still be just 'outside'.
Martha.
It's absolutely perfect that we're talking about styling,
because you, Atle, are approaching 70, aren't you?
Yes. I am.
Or something.
And I think you're a cool guy.
You're a fly guy. - A very old guy.
But I think that in terms of style you can start to challenge yourself a bit more.
What? I've gone all out today.
100 percent. So I just went and bought...
Just stand up. - Wow, they're my colours and everything!
I just thought, like...
What can be done to ensure that you, Atle Antonsen, are 'inside' with the kids?
Look at that. - I myself see that this must be good.
I'll put these over my eyes. - Put this right over your shoulder.
Hubba hubba!
OK. Cool, awesome.
When I'm holding a handbag, I usually hold it like this.
This is how men should hold handbags. "It's not mine, it's my wife's."
No no. It's all about confidence now.
So, like, stay cool. - Absolutely.
And I immediately think: "Just 'inside'."
Just 'inside'. - I don't think I'm able to judge this myself. Thank you.
I agree with Martha. That it's just 'inside'.
It is? That's good. Thank you.
Look at you! Oh my god!
You look like a snack. - Thank you.
We still have more. Espen, what have you brought?
I don't want to criticise the others too much,
because for me it was an emergency solution.
It came a bit sudden.
So I have brought...
...some paracetamol.
And it's just something I found in the cabinet.
These are suppositories of paracetomol.
And there is one that is missing,
and that's the one that's just inside.
I think we'll leave it at that.
It's difficult to argue against it. - Yes, it is.
Live, what do you have that's just inside?
Yes, just 'inside'? - Yes.
This.
Mein Kampf? - Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler.
Many will think that it's not only just outside, either.
It's not an on-the-line book.
No, the ideology isn't 'inside'. It isn't.
But reading it, the book, that's just 'inside'.
So it's more of an appeal to read more? "Read more! Enjoy reading!"
Yes.
But you just happened to choose a slightly touchy book?
In the summer reading campaign for children they say:
"Read. It doesn't matter what you're reading. Just keep reading."
Like this summer, my daughter got like 200,000 points on "summer reading" for this book.
So that's just 'inside'?
From that point of view, you are very right.
We are ready for the scoring.
That is so bold that it's above the Crocs.
You are very right about the Crocs, but they end up at the bottom.
And then Hitler gets to be one step above.
Am I not right on the line? - Yes. You are.
Isn't that five points? Isn't this...
It's just that the noise around it takes all the focus away from it.
So the fact that I'm even giving you two points will get me a lot of criticism.
I put my head on the block for you, girl.
Yes, but the task is solved.
Do you mean that Kristoffer... So that's 'inside'?
I haven't seen this myself, but since everyone says that I look so damn good in it,
I guess I must give you three points then. - Slay! Okay, go on.
That means that Kristoffer runs away with four...
The suppositories get five! - Really?
They actually do.
Olli, our participants have had a great career. Several of them, at least.
We now have a task where they show us that they're also ready for the future.
Not only able to look back on a career,
but maybe have something ahead of them, as well.
They're not just a bunch of has-beens, are they, Olli?
No, I don't think they are. We can take a look at it here.
Take that bullet, Batman.
What does it say?
"Make the best live-" What?
"Make the best live stream highlight reel."
"You start and stop the recording by ringing this bell."
What? Okay. That's super fun.
So horrible.
Damn, such a horrible task.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
The thing about this show is that it's so nice to see people in pain.
And we will see more of that.
Because the participants will make a highlight reel.
In other words, highlights from a fictional live stream.
But they have also been given a bell that they must ring
to start and stop the recording. They manage that themselves.
So they decide themselves when to start and stop the recording.
Olli, you can choose who goes first.
Then we'll start with the one who has 'live' in her name: Live.
I'm just trying to do what they do on the internet.
Helium is fun. Hang on.
Okay, how much fruit and vegetables can I
consume in the shortest amount of time? One.
Two.
Four.
Oh fuck.
I have to wash it down with some RedBull.
Oh fuck.
♫ I know it will be a scandal, but I'll say it straight out, ♫
♫ When I turn 66, I intend to freak out ♫ [schlager song by Wenche Myhre]
Oh fuck!
There...
I think that turned out really well.
Yes...
Live, that wasn't bad at all.
It's bad in the sense that it's something I would never watch.
I would 100 percent subscribe to that.
I'm being praised by Martha. That leaves an impression. - She had an eating competition.
Which is, like, really good.
Ok, maybe the 66 song... That's really lame to sing,
but otherwise great.
I must say, I'm not the target audience.
But we'll move on. - Yes, ready for the next one?
Can't we take a look at the one who might know the most about this? Martha.
Are you ready? - Yes, absolutely.
Hello and welcome back to "Frida is gaming".
Today I'm going to play Fortnite and I'm so excited to see how it will go.
Okay, here we go. I'm flying down.
It will be interesting to see what...
Excuse me, what did you just say? That I am what?
That wasn't very nice to say. Hah! Now I shot you!
What? What?
Come on, it's just a game.
What?
Now you listen to me, you little bastard! No!
No, now I'm talking, and I shot you!
Yes, I lost my temper a bit there,
but that's how it is when you play the fantastic game Fortnite.
Subscribe and comment if you want me to play more Fortnite,
because I want that too.
Goodbye!
The funny thing is, you're the youngest here,
but when you pretend to play video games,
you sound like a 58-year-old aunt.
"I'm just sitting here playing some regular video games for real."
I do play for real, but I wanted her to be someone
who tried her hand at the shooting game, but didn't understand...
I don't understand any of it. I miss all those things.
There are many layers here, right? - Yes, there are layers.
And I'm looking forward to getting one point
because you don't understand your own task.
It's very bad luck for you that I'm the jury.
I have understood that! - That's bad luck for you.
But you can now take a look at Kristoffer.
It's very easy to understand what is happening here.
That's not difficult at all. - Ok.
I can't just start. I can't just ring the bell. I have to think.
I have a good chair to think in.
Once upon a time there were three billy goats, who were going to the hillside to make themselves fat. [Norwegian fairy tale: Three Billy Goats Gruff]
To get to the hillside, they had to cross a bridge.
Under the bridge lived a scary troll.
First, the tiniest billy goat crosses the bridge.
"Who is it that's stomping over my bridge?"
"I'm just a tiny little billy goat, going to the hillside to make myself fat."
"Don't take me. A larger billy goat is coming soon."
Then came another billy goat that was a bit larger.
"Who is it that's stomping over my bridge?"
Highlight reel...
I think it's really fun, Kristoffer, when you're going to show some highlights
from the Three Billy Goats Gruff,
you just show the first part of the fairy tale in its entirety.
But I was like that myself.
I always found it so boring when the second billy goat came in.
And I always sided with the troll too.
So that's the best... - It's a short fairy tale.
After so many programmes where Kristoffer has excelled in task after task,
it was so nice to see a task where he totally embarrasses himself.
I could see that you enjoyed yourself, Espen.
At first I thought it was just the paracetomol from the first task,
but it was the satisfying feeling of watching this clip.
I honestly think that's the first time I've heard you laugh out loud
during these programmes.
And then it turns out that his laugh is a laugh that gloats.
Basking in other people's tragedy.
Speaking of someone who doesn't feel like they
have mastered things. We can look at Henriette.
I know that you're the one who has dreaded this the most.
But before we look at it, I just need to clarify something.
The task was to start and stop the recording with the bell they had received.
But Henriette laid over that bell at the very beginning, on the sofa.
Thus, she started the recording without noticing it herself.
Which means that it ended up very skewed, because when she thought she was recording,
she wasn't recording, and vice-versa.
So every time you turned the camera on, you turned it off and vice-versa.
That's right. - It could be interesting.
I have faith in that. It sounds like it might be a bit of a disjointed story.
You can safely say that. Let's take a look. - I want to see this.
The shame!
Ok.
This isn't fun. Will it also be published online?
Yes.
No, no, no, no.
There's so much shame.
Fuck, this isn't funny, and it's not enjoyable, and it's not good.
Yes. - Yes.
You know... Now...
I want to say this right away. This was art by accident.
The definition of it.
I just want to say I'm glad you showed this
and not what I actually tried to make.
This was horrible, but what I tried to make,
that... - What did you try to make? - I just had to disappear...
I don't feel like I missed anything.
Nothing! No no.
We have one more for you to see before you judge. Espen.
Okay, everyone!
Today we're going to test a rad new game that I have on my iPhone Pro.
It's about, ladies and gentlemen, one of the coolest games you can get on an iPhone,
which is Solitaire 7!
No, damn it. An eight, a six, a red heart...
Shit, this is never going to go well! Fuck!
Okay, red King on Queen. Red Jack on Queen.
Oh no, no, no. I have to draw a new card.
Yes, first Ace up! Yeah!
I have to draw new ones. Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come up with a two.
Damn! Yes, King!
The King goes nicely between the eight and the nine.
Then I just have to wait for an Ace. I need an Ace.
No. Yes!
Fuck, it's not adding up. Fuck!
Fuck, I have to comfort eat.
It didn't add up!
Stay tuned next time, when we'll test three-in-a-row. Okay?
Yes.
I was a bit over-excited at the end.
You have something in the corner of your mouth.
Yes, that's just...
That was fun. - This worked for me, suddenly.
What I also like is that your irritation
over what this really is, originally,
shines through a little.
It doesn't seem like you love the form in private.
In no way.
I love anything made with a certain amount of aggression, anger and hatred at the core.
That's the best motivation one can have. This is good, Espen.
Sounds like you've started to make up your mind.
Oh right. Yes, I have.
The easiest thing is actually to judge the one who comes last.
No, it won't be you. It's the big brother.
It's Kristoffer. - There wasn't any art by accident here?
No, there wasn't. It was just an accident.
So you get the one-pointer.
I think it's a bit difficult with the rest, to be honest.
I really like the art by accident. You have created a new genre.
You will get three points for it. We'll put you in the middle with that one.
Three points. You have created something completely new, exciting and interesting.
But I think it's impossible with you two.
I'll put you second to last, Live. Even though it was spotless.
You get four points, Martha. Espen wins!
Of course.
Two! Two!
Amazingly executed.
Here we have the points.
Shall we see how it looks so far in the totals?
Espen is in a clear lead with a full score. Ten points.
Martha in second place. Not bad at all.
Henriette at the bottom together with Live. But it's not over yet.
We'll take a little break. Which is short. And be right back.
For me, it is important that this is an inclusive programme,
with tasks for both young and old, tall and short, smart and stupid.
Yes, I feel you are relatively good at that.
There is probably an equality prize right around the corner, I would think.
Now I want to see a task where absolutely everyone has the same prerequisites.
Even Henriette. That's how nice we'll be now.
And maybe even Kristoffer, based on today's efforts.
Then we have to go to the world's most inclusive and boring activity:
a puzzle.
"Complete the puzzle."
"Complete the puzzle. The fastest wins. Your time starts now."
Now I will be calm and analytical. Pay attention now.
I can't do this! Is there something nasty in there?
I can't look. Is it gross?
Yes, this is a simple and straightforward task.
The first person to complete the puzzle wins.
Maybe I can ask why you wanted the puzzle to be in a terrarium?
That's because the image on the puzzle is a snake.
So it's a little hint in itself. That's the only reason for that.
Oh, so it's just to make it a bit easier? - Just to be a bit nice. To give you a small hint.
That was very kind of you. But I'm not sure if it had that effect on the participants.
I am sure. It did have that effect on the participants.
Ok, let's see how long it took for them to complete the puzzle
that was made for people aged six and up, in the empty terrarium.
Wait! What... Is that a spider?
Is that what it is?
No, I can't take this. Is it gross?
Yuck!
Sorry!
I think it's so disgusting.
[Swedish:] Ok, I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid.
[Swedish:] I'm not afraid.
- Why are you speaking Swedish?
I don't know.
In a way, this is quite fun.
I have a feeling that some people will be
nervous about putting their hand in this box.
Who do you think? - Martha.
Oh, it was my own hair.
And Espen, actually.
You don't think it's disgusting with... - Hush!
There's probably nothing in there.
There's nothing in here that lives and breathes.
Is there?
There. Now I'll just...
One more piece.
It's very difficult to concentrate on puzzling.
That's one side of the brain. The other is:
"When is that thing coming?"
What thing are you thinking of? - The snake.
Because it's a snake? - Yes, here.
That's disgusting! Fuck.
When I puzzle it, it winds like this down here.
Now I'm not so scared anymore, because I haven't seen anything move.
Yuck.
There.
You don't have to say anything.
Done.
The puzzle is completed, in my opinion.
Right. Are you satisfied with it? - No.
There you have it. - Should I stop the time?
Yes. Goodbye!
This task was really fun.
Probably for me and no-one else.
I give up.
Oh my god! Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
It was a lamp.
Alright. Give us some results, Olli.
Yes. There are three puzzles that have not been completed.
Yes. In principle, I should have given zero points,
but since it was such a traumatic experience,
I will also rank those who did not complete it.
That's how nice I'll be.
Those who persevered. - Those who came closest.
And the worst person here was probably you, Martha.
It will be one point. - One point? Yes!
Espen, you had the second least completed puzzle, as it's called.
Two points for you. Three points go to Henriette.
Incredibly. - There are two who completed it.
Then it's the time that matters. - One of them on 25:11, the other on 21:15.
Live, 25:11.
Kristoffer, 21:15 and five points. - Kristoffer.
The prince.
Do you know what is the only thing that can save the earth, Olli?
What... God? - Recycling [reusing].
I want to see a task that shows how to reuse
the water you use to water the lawn with, to make tea.
Oh yes. We can take a look at that.
Peek-a-boo. - Peek-a-boo.
We'll start by putting this on you.
That's cute.
"Fill the cup with water from the water sprinkler."
"The contestant with the most water in the cup when the hourglass runs out wins."
"The water will be turned on in ten minutes."
I love when it's ten minutes.
"You cannot take the cup off the helmet or the helmet off your head."
Then I'm fucked.
The water sprinkler?
Yes, on top of the balcony there. - So that's the water sprinkler.
What are you doing? - I'm going to find something. A strainer.
No, not a strainer. Like, a tube.
It's a tube, and then it goes like this.
There must be another word for this.
I'm sure it has a name. A tube with a...
Does it have its own... - It's a funnel!
It's a funnel, yes! That's it.
Yes, a funnel.
The participants have ten minutes to prepare before the water is turned on.
They can choose the water pressure themselves.
Then they must catch as much water as they can in the cup that is glued to their helmet
before the hourglass runs out.
Sounds simple and straightforward, as usual.
Shall we see if it really was that simple and straightforward?
We can start with team 'Buckets and Pails':
Live and Kristoffer.
I feel that the correct thing must be
to have more chances and then pour it over yourself.
Huh? I have thought about this.
It's just a matter of getting the water into the cup when the water comes.
Yes. - Can it be that difficult?
No, fuck. It's the kind that moves!
And then I'll take more on its way back.
Time's up. - Time's up, yes.
Just stand still.
And I'll come down and measure. - Cool.
When did you pour in the water?
Most of it got in along the way.
Right, that's good.
Ok.
It's completely impossible to see where the water...
I hope there's a lot of power in it. - Water on level three?
Yes.
Three, two, one, go.
Nothing is coming down. Where the hell...
What?
Where is the water going?
How's it going?
I don't understand anything about this irrigation system.
There, yes!
There.
Stand still, and I'll come and measure.
Yuck.
Ew, I missed.
So undignified.
Yes. Just lean forward.
Did you spit in there?
Yes.
Now my contract says that I will have a little break.
Yes, then the rest of us can watch some adverts. - You do that.
Live, I originally intended to punish you
because you cheated.
But then I thought at the same time that it's probably worse for you
to carry this social stigma of
being someone who spits on themself on TV.
So you get zero points, but I'll drop the caning. - What? Because I spat?
Yes, you gagged. You gagged into the cup. You don't get points for that.
So it's cheating? - It's cheating, yes.
Speaking of cheating, Kristoffer.
Then it's fine.
Zero points. Do you have anyone who isn't cheating?
Absolutely. Here comes team 'Tube and Stuff'.
"Fill... the contestant... the water sprinkler..."
But do I have to fill... Olli, I don't understand.
Do I have to fill this up? - Yes.
Now? But you haven't turned it on.
In ten minutes I'll turn it on.
So I'll just stand and wait?
I might be able to make a…
I'll be prepared to try to catch the water from the sprinkler.
Do you get it? - Maybe I can find something like...
Something like this. Make a hole in it.
That went quite well.
How much water do you want? One, two or three.
Put it on one.
I see.
Okay, that's nice.
I'm making a funnel.
I think the worst solution is to run around trying to catch the water.
Fuck! Fucking hell.
Fuck. No! For fuck's sake.
Level one, two or three?
One, I think. - There we go.
Yes, right. - That's level one.
It's a wet t-shirt show now, at least.
This wasn't so good.
The time is up. - Yes.
This must be enough for a cup of tea.
I think I'll... Okay.
Yes. The coffee is ready.
Alright.
So damn good. There.
Are you filming this? This is damn good.
There. I assume it's full, since it's overflowing.
Thank you. - That was fun.
Enjoy. - Yes.
Yes.
It is masterfully solved, Espen. Masterfully solved.
I have to say, Henriette. To have a decent idea...
I could see that throughout the clip, you didn't realise it was called a funnel. [t/n: wrong, she did say "funnel" in the garage. Martha on the other hand...]
"Now I'm just going to make a..."
Then there was silence.
Now I know. - But the fact that it ended so well is quite impressive.
It's a bucket where the hose sticks out far up.
Yes, it was way up. - It was over the edge of the bucket. I don't understand how the water...
Maybe the water got down with the hose. - It's the funnel principle.
The principle was that you stood in the middle of the sprinkler until it was full.
But that's okay. You get water out of that.
Shall we see how it went?
Yes, Kristoffer and Live were caught cheating, so they get zero points.
Martha: 16 millilitres. That's not bad.
It's a little scoop.
Second place: Henriette, 105 millilitres.
Espen: 140 millilitres. Five points. - That's incredible.
In total today, we can see that the score is like this.
Oh my. - Yes.
A relatively flawless way towards the last task, Espen.
If the points are distributed as they
usually are, you are in a very good position.
But we have no guarantee of that. Now we are going to the last task.
And I have to admit that I'm really looking forward to this task.
Welcome to the new national sport, office chair curling.
Yes. The participants will, one-by-one, sit in this chair.
Then I will pull them back as far as they themselves want. Until they say "stop".
And then there is a rubber band that is tightened,
and then they are shot or calmly rolled - it depends - forward.
The goal is to get as close as possible to that Kongen Befaler mark.
Whoever is closest gets five points. Whoever is furthest away gets one.
You are not allowed to have your feet on the ground or,
when the chair is in front of you, jerk it around to get closer.
That's cheating. We'll start with Espen, the one in the lead.
I'll put these glasses on just in case the elastic breaks.
Come on, Espen! Bring it on! - Shouldn't I get some protective gear?
You have it. - Shouldn't I wear that helmet?
Now I feel the way I do in amusement parks.
Do you want to wear a helmet? - Isn't there a belt? No.
I only want what the HSE has required that one should have.
This is at the exploratory stage. No one has ever tried this before.
All insurances are in order?
Are you ready? - Yes. Oi, oi, oi.
I'll count to three, then you let go.
A little more towards the back, because the elastic is becoming slack. One, two, three!
Is it safe to take the helmet off now? - Now I believe it's safe.
I'm thinking we should move on to Martha.
Yes, please! - Do you want to wear a helmet?
No. - No.
Be careful. Don't tighten it too hard, Martha.
Pull, pull, pull, pull.
More! More! ["meir" in her dialect] - More?
More!
Are you saying 'no' ["nei"] or 'more' ["mer"]?
That's a scary question to ask. "Are you saying 'no' or 'more'?"
More! More! More! ["meir"] - "Meir"? Are you satisfied with this?
Okay, one, two, three!
You enjoy speed.
There was speed and excitement. - Yes, Antonsen, that's all I care about.
Henriette. - It was well delivered.
Ok. "Meir". [imitating Martha]
A little "meir". - A little "meir"?
Yes.
Now... Yes, a tiny bit "meir".
Like that? - Thank you, yes.
Should I let go? - Ready, set, go.
Yes.
Live.
Do you still want more? - Oh no, I didn't think about that.
Here? - There, yes. That will be good.
Three, two, one. - Look now.
Fuck.
No!
Can I have the chair the other way around?
Yes... I see no reason why...
I don't quite understand why you want that, but it's fun.
We'll take it there. - Here? Ready...
I'm ready. - ...set, go.
We will do a short summary back in our seats.
Yes.
I have measured it.
You have measured it, Olli. - I have measured it. Used tape measure.
And I have the results. Do you want them? - Yes, I want them.
There were two people who went over the edge. So they end up in last place.
What? - Yes.
"Isn't that what we were supposed to do?"
They would have probably ended up in last place anyway.
But you don't get one point. You get two points each,
Live and Martha, since you share the fourth place.
Kristoffer, three points. Espen, four points.
Henriette was the closest. Five points.
Congratulations. - Yes!
Henriette wins this task. Then the scores look like this.
And now we're going to the total scores in this programme.
It's a clear victory for Espen Eckbo, ladies and gentlemen.
Fantastic.
Come and claim all these prizes
which are almost, or barely, 'inside'.
Go enjoy them.
That's all we had for today.
But of course we'll be back next week
with more exciting tasks
and people who may embarrass themselves.
Thanks for watching.
Original Norwegian subs: Hanna Ness Huseklepp (Iyuno-SDI Group)
English translation: u/msbtvxq
Proofreading: u/taskmastermaster