No!
"Ballefrans" [mild swear word, equivalent to 'balls']
Welcome to Drammen theatre
and the second episode of this season of Kongen Befaler.
We started last week with a lovely episode,
and today won't be any worse. Or what do you say,
the man who is always by the contestants' side,
task after task, Olli Wermskog!
According to my calculations,
today's episode will be two percent better.
Better? Even better?
Yes. That has been calculated.
That's cool. That's cool!
And speaking of cool,
let's see what the season's winner gets to take home.
I'm talking about the coolest prize on Norwegian TV.
Oi, what can it be? - It is...
...a bust in gold of me!
Let's greet this season's participants.
One of them, who are sitting over there,
will be the winner of this bust.
They are Petter Schjerven!
Ingar Helge Gimle!
Ingrid Gjessing Linhave!
Nora Svenningsen!
And Jonis Josef!
Today, we have asked the participants to bring
their most obsolete [outdated] possession.
Obsolete possession. Yes, that can be very nice.
Something tells me that Petter only has obsolete possessions.
He doesn't call them that. - He'll be torn between what to bring.
But we won't start with you.
I think we'll start with Nora.
Yes, I'm young, 24 years old and...
Now I sold it in badly.
No, it's fine. - Here is my thing.
You just don't have that many years to base it on.
A CD from 1998, Dr. Bombay, Rice & Curry.
Is it... I can never...
Is it trance, is it dance, or is it something else?
This album has songs like Calcutta (Taxi, Taxi, Taxi), Rice and Curry,
SOS (The Tiger Took My Family), my personal favourite.
But it's clearly something that I don't think
would have sold well at Platekompaniet [record store] this year.
Yes, is this something you have danced to a lot?
Yes, but I was always a bit scared, because he has a very nasty voice.
Should I go as far as miming it? - Yes, I think you should.
♪ SOS, the tiger took my... ♪ I regretted it as soon as I started.
Strictly speaking, it wasn't miming either, it was miming with...
Humming. I don't know what it was. - Imitation.
I rarely want to withdraw, but... - I'm very glad we got rid of it.
The task has been solved with flying colours,
I would say so.
Ingar, what about you?
Yes, well, this is...
This is a blotter, an ink blotter that you...
I am very fond of...
Writing with a fountain pen?
I write a lot with fountain pens. I think it's safe and...
You really use fountain pens? - ...nostalgic,
and then I write, for example: "Dear aunt",
and then I have to do this to remove the excess ink.
Do you have nice handwriting?
Yes, that was the only thing I excelled at in primary school.
There were 32 boys in my class,
and many of them had such bad handwriting,
when writing on the blackboard.
So the teacher always said: "Ingar, you have to come up here."
Really? That's fantastic.
Then I had to write what the teacher was saying.
Then I felt... Because I was so tiny.
Nerd!
Nice that we have a calligrapher in the class.
We must take a closer look at that handwriting,
in the course of the season.
That's great. Petter.
Yes, I have also brought a slightly outdated format.
It's the movie Grease...
...on Super 8 film.
I don't know what that is.
You don't know what it is? It's a film format.
Played on a small projector.
Yes, and many of them don't even have sound.
No sound?
Grease wouldn't be as good without sound.
But this one has colour and sound.
So it has sound, but very few projectors had it.
And the film rolls are maybe 20 minutes long.
It's one film roll?
Yes, it's a very stripped down version of Grease.
The best version of... It's the "Reader's Digest" version?
Yes, it's the "Reader's Digest" version.
Probably the best version of Grease on Super 8 film.
There aren't more rolls in a row that you have to switch out?
No, I think it was just this one.
So you basically just bought a trailer?
A long trailer with bad sound.
Jonis. - Yes, I'm going in here
with a fight against the increase of the interest rate.
Yes, you have misunderstood what kind of programme this is.
I want to be at the grassroots and speak up for the Norwegian people,
and today I have a financial tip, which is:
saving money doesn't pay off.
Because I've been saving for a long time,
which brings me to my most obsolete item,
the 50-øre coin. [0.5 kroner, went out of use in 2012]
And you can no longer use them.
And the interest rate is high, so it costs a lot to give it away as a prize.
Yes, 50-øre.
So you are now building a bridge between
the increasing interest rate and the 50-øre coin?
It's a nice thread you're trying to create there.
The economy is tough these days.
And someone has to take the fight.
And that someone is the Somali with a flat cap.
Yes, exactly. It's the final attempt.
I'll take a look at it later.
We have one more, Ingrid.
I have brought something
that becomes obsolete again and again and again,
and that makes me incredibly irritated.
I would say that it ruins a lot of my life,
and that is my Apple ID passwords.
It's easy to relate to that.
Can we hear some of the passwords?
I apologise in advance.
It's "dick-shit1977", for example.
You forget, and then you just want to watch a movie,
and then you realise that you have to go in again
and make a new one.
And then I'm so insanely pissed off,
having to do all that clicking.
Then it boils inside me,
so then I come up with stuff like, for example, "ball-ass1977",
"ass-tap1234#",
"ballballballhell#1212".
So now I have to remind my children,
when they have friends over, don't go:
"Mom, what's the password?!"
because then I have to shout back: "fuck-fuck1974, now it's dinner!"
I feel like we're getting to know you so well already.
Can you believe I am married, Atle?
Still?!
Where is... Wow!
Have you done some thinking?
I've been thinking, yes.
Ready to give points?
Yes, the task has been solved by everyone.
There is little doubt about that.
There is a lot of good here. I'll give...
Jonis, you will get 1 point for that 50-øre coin.
It's the only product here that you can no longer use.
Or half a point?
I agree with you.
Fountain pen, 2.
3 to the Super 8.
And it made me so happy to hear that that CD is finally outdated,
so you get 4 points,
but you get 5, Gjessing Linhave!
It was worth it!
You will probably be banished from many communities,
but it was worth it, because you got 5 points.
I have no friends, but I got 5 points.
Exactly what you did. Lovely.
Should we get started with the first task from the house?
Yes, we can do that. Do you have any special requests?
Feathers!
Alright, feathers.
Hello. - Look at that.
Yes, look at that.
It looks very demonic.
A feather and... Should I enter the circle?
You can choose that yourself.
Okay.
I just want to inform you that I'm now planning to do things in a simpler way.
I really just want to have a calmness about me,
and then do things, kind of, spot on.
How cool.
Hi, by the way. - Hi hi!
That suit looks very good on you.
Thank you.
Tall and dark, there's something about that. Let's see.
"Get this feather farthest from yourself."
"The task is over, and the distance is measured,"
"when the feather hits the ground."
"If you're standing inside the circle now, you cannot leave it."
"you cannot leave it."
"If you're standing inside the circle now, you cannot leave it."
What kind of crap is that?
"You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now."
This almost makes me cry. It's so exhausting…
How sad. That was very sad.
You are immediately exhausted.
Yes, and I have to say...
I'm very concerned with being perceived
as a sweet and lovely person on TV. Usually.
Yes, we can see that. Oh, usually, yes.
I feel like I've worked my way up to being...
Aren't I kind of cute?
But not here.
Yes, yes.
But the feather should be as far away from yourselves as possible.
It's quite simple.
Yes, and the distance is measured when the feather hits the ground.
It was only Ingrid who was standing inside the circle,
so it's a little extra challenging for her.
Let's see how it went.
Here you have Ingrid, along with Petter and Nora.
Then I'll start. - Yes.
Do we have a bike or something like that?
I'll take the pushchair.
I could just carry it, but that would have been boring.
Yes, then we're off.
Can't I just start bicycling?
If I'm going to get as far away from that feather as possible.
Then I'll do that.
I just have to read the task first.
Is it... Okay, fine.
Yes, now I get it.
I can't just put it down and run.
Alright. - Goodbye.
A pulley system?
A pulley system.
There. Wonderful.
I will be very surprised if anyone was standing inside the circle.
Hello!?
Can anyone help me?
I'm stuck!
Hello!?
Oh, this is tiring.
Eight minutes left. - Right.
So much running.
Can you believe I was about to
start messing around with a bike project?
That would have been something.
♪ Haba, haba ♪ [Norway's Eurovision song, 2011]
You know what?
I'll just make an earth ball, and then...
Shit, then I just have to...
This is so demeaning…
Stupid task.
[Swedish:] Now Olli. Now you bastards. Now it's happening.
It wasn't that far. But I'm finished. - Yes, you're finished now.
Bye. - Bye.
Time's up.
Fifteen seconds.
Okay!
Yep!
Petter. Petter.
You went for a pulley system.
That appeals to us men over 50.
Involving some tools and some...
And then it just works.
As you said yourself, it's good that you
didn't start messing around with a bike project.
But I don't understand the task.
What was Petter doing?
Why did you pull the feather behind you?
Couldn't you just leave?
But the feather was supposed to...
It's when the feather hit the ground.
Half the task was to remove yourself from the feather, that's right.
And the other half was that it was supposed to hit the ground.
Was it? - Yes.
And I also secured it before I left.
Yes, "it must at least not fall to the ground."
So it has to be zero points for you, because the task isn't done.
Not solved. - Do you want more distances?
I want more distances.
So zero here.
Then there is Ingrid,
you got that earth ball... 14 metres.
Yes!
And Petter,
you had 97 metres.
Then we have two left. - Yes.
We have Jonis and Ingar, so we can see how that went.
It did not go well.
There.
Yes yes.
But it has gotten all tangly.
That's so typical.
Why in the world did it do that? What if I do this?
This might be blowing inward.
Do we have access to a drone?
Oh. Okay.
Okay, baby.
Let's see. Vision position.
Damn fun.
No, what are you doing?! No no no!
Fuck!
It hasn't hit the ground!
The time is still running. - How much time do I have?
You have six minutes left. - Six minutes. Okay.
The plan was that...
Do you remember the movie with little Forrest Gump?
Then a little feather fell out of his book.
It went flying into the air.
It might not happen like that, but we have to take the chance.
No, it doesn't go far.
There it hit the ground.
I don't have a propeller.
It's missing one of four propellers,
so I think it will turn automatically.
So then I have to find out which way it turns,
and then I'll run in the opposite direction.
And I'm damn fast.
Okay. Take-off.
It hit the ground.
Yes, it doesn't help to be damn fast
when flying a drone with three propellers.
I like that me and Ingar were thinking the same thing.
That we were going to run away from it.
Yes, I like that Ingar stole a metre at the end there.
Just managed to steal an extra metre.
A little late.
Yes, when there were only 10 centimetres left.
"I'll at least go inside".
Very funny. - Beautiful, and very poetic, Ingar.
Everything you do is beautiful.
Nice Forrest Gump reference too. - Thank you very much.
Yes, it was lovely.
Not perfect, but it was lovely.
How do you feel now, Ingrid?
Everyone laughed because I was inside the circle.
Yes, now we'll get some more distances.
This is exciting.
Jonis, 1 metre and 44 centimetres.
I just want to say, it's so typical.
You start out so well.
And a drone, it could go on for kilometres.
It was too good to be true.
I was looking for a drone, and when I found one, I thought I had won.
I think you have a tendency to assume you have won a little too early.
Ingar, you got all of
9 metres and 40 centimetres.
Nora at the bottom, then Jonis,
Ingar, Ingrid, and Petter in first place.
Then we can see the scores here.
For this task.
And then in total.
Look at that!
Not bad, but we're only halfway through.
We're going to take a little ad break.
Be right back.
Atle, do you prefer things to be easy or difficult?
Easy or difficult?
Look at me.
What do you think?
Well, I... - Go for easy, yes.
I like the path of least resistance.
And I think more people should be like me,
so I want a task where the participants can choose
between an easy or a difficult solution.
Yes, we have that.
Then we'll see if anyone is stupid enough to choose the difficult solution.
['vanskelig' = 'difficult'; 'lett' = 'easy']
Hi.
Oi, easy, difficult...
Hmm.
I think I'll take the easy one.
Well, I don't want anything difficult.
In general, people want as little resistance as possible in life.
We want to have a good time,
just sit in front of the TV, and for everything to be alright.
I think it's very nice to take it easy, so I go for "easy".
Be my guest. - Thank you.
"Put the biscuit in the box"?
Yes.
"Fastest wins." - Yes.
"Your time starts now"? Yes.
"Your time starts now."
What do you think I'll go for?
I like it hard and difficult.
This.
Okay, a biscuit, easy, difficult.
I think I'll choose "difficult".
I'll choose "difficult". - Yes.
"Put the box... in the biscuit."
"Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
No, "Put the box in the biscuit"?
"Put..."
"Put the box in..." Not on, not under,
not between the biscuit.
Not by. - Not by the biscuit.
Not from. - No.
What does that mean?
A box in a biscuit.
Well, then I'll just have to...
...crush it into pieces.
What can I use...
No... The hell...
I can't be bothered with this.
There.
I put the box in the biscuit.
Like that.
Here I have completed the task...
Box in biscuit.
Yes, plain and simple, but quite entertaining.
It went exactly as I thought.
Exactly as I thought.
I thought you guys would choose the easy solution,
and that the other three would choose the difficult one.
Wanting the glory of solving a tricky task.
That says a lot about you.
All of this.
Petter, you simply gave up completely.
We rarely see that. - Hubris at the start and then...
You tried to talk your way to a point.
Finding a linguistic loophole.
But I want to ask you, do you think you deserve points for that?
No, by no means.
But Jonis did a good job and put in an effort,
so I will give him something for that.
Because he solved the task
pretty much as well as it could be solved.
But there was force in my crushing.
I was pressing it down quite hard.
But you didn't use your words enough, so it evened out.
So I think we'll land on zero there.
And then we'll give... Jonis gets 3 points.
And Ingar and Ingrid were almost equal,
but Ingar you spent 2.45.
2 seconds and 45 hundredths, that is.
Yes, correct.
So that's almost nothing.
Ingrid, 1.35. - That's less. 5 points.
Olli, how's my tube doing?
Your tube? - My tube, yes.
How is my tube doing?
The tube we attached to the flagpole,
and filled with water,
and put lots of cups underneath.
My tube. How's it doing?
Well, it's doing fine.
They have done a task with that tube.
Right, I would like to see it. - Yes, we can do that.
Look at all the glasses.
Would you look at that.
Interesting. - Yes.
Kongen Befaler.
Okay, let's see.
"Fill the cups with water from the tube."
What tube?
Wait, what tube?
The tube?
The tube.
Where is the tube?
There's the tube.
That tube there?
Is there water in there?
"The tube opens with the red button."
"The most water in the cups in 10 minutes wins."
"Your time starts now."
It's quite simple and straightforward.
Water from the tube must go into the cups.
Yes, that must be manageable.
Well...
I sometimes catch myself being too optimistic.
We'll see.
Let's first see Petter and Jonis.
Okay, then we have to think strategically here.
My thinking is that I have to find a bucket.
Okay.
I found a bucket, Olli.
Nice and solid bucket, this.
What the fucking hell?!
It's an explosion! Look. Fucking hell!
Yes, of course.
There was only water in the tube.
Fuck.
Then I just have to get going.
Yes, please. - Thank you.
Wow!
It was heavier than I thought.
Oh, look at that.
Double jet.
Satisfied? - Yes.
There are so many cups.
Oi oi oi! What is the time? - 40 seconds left.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Three, two, one and stop.
What a task.
I'm soaking wet.
Goodbye. Go and warm up.
That went well. - I liked that task.
You guys had the same tactics,
but you may have underestimated the amount of water.
Yes, I did.
What? You think?
Well done, Petter.
Can't be done much better, probably.
We're saying probably, because we have some,
if not the sharpest tools, at least tools.
Absolutely. Do you want the amount of water for these two?
I want the amount first.
Let's see. Jonis, 7.5 litres.
And Petter 27 litres.
That's good.
I thought we could take a look at Ingrid and Ingar.
Sounds good.
I'm dreading this.
Yes, and then I have to press the button.
Was that all?
There's no water here.
There was lots of water.
It came out so quickly!
I need a bucket.
Oh, Satan!
Hell! Fuck!
Damn!
No!
No no no no no!
No!
This is very annoying.
There's no more, right.
Balls!
Now you're enjoying yourself, huh?
Who? - You.
Me? - You hoped this would happen.
I have to try my best.
Even if the water is a bit muddy.
This reminds me of back in the day,
when we played pitch-and-toss.
If there was too much water where we liked to toss...
How much time do I have left?
Four and a half minutes.
If this goes up like that,
the water is coming from the tube.
Now the mud has turned to clay,
so there is no more water to get.
I don't think I can get any further.
20 seconds left. - Yes.
Say when it's 10.
10 seconds left.
Five, four, three,
two, one, stop.
Okay, bye. - Bye.
We're going to take a little break.
Be right back.
There was a lot to deal with here.
A lot to deal with.
I want to start with you, Ingrid.
In and of itself,
I think you ended up doing pretty well.
You come up with a plan B, and you really needed that.
I don't remember anything.
I have a complete blackout.
It's like its own stress universe,
where Satan himself is standing there, enjoying himself.
We are on the same page there.
I don't remember anything of that last part.
But you were frustrated along the way.
That's a thread we can follow all throughout,
but now it also lead to a solution.
Yes, I will be proud if it's approved.
Well, "water from the tube."
The water did come from the tube.
There's no reason to disqualify you.
You just thought of it too late, so you didn't get much.
I don't get it. Did she spray water up into the tube, and then it ran back down?
I didn't get that. That was very clever.
Yes, it was clever. - Quite fun.
That you came up with a plan B?
If only you had thought of it sooner.
Ingar, you lost this competition very quickly.
You hadn't counted on the amount of water, either.
Then you were helpless,
but it's nice that you still had a little anecdote from Torshov.
While digging around in the mud.
You still enjoyed yourself.
I did, it was a lovely day.
You collected 1.3 litres of muddy water.
And Ingrid, 4.4 litres.
But we have one more. - We do, we have Nora.
Yes, we have Nora. - We can trust her.
Hold on tight.
Can't I just do it as simple as possible?
Thanks for the help. - You're welcome.
Okay.
That was the most effective solution of the day.
Entertaining.
You were making a "fast motion" film.
That went... That's the fastest fiasco I've seen.
Wonderfully efficient.
And I might have said that Ingar lost,
but that's not for certain.
No, I took out the decilitre measure
and measured zero.
And zero is at the bottom.
1 point, but zero water.
So it's Nora at the bottom.
Ingar, Ingrid, Jonis in second,
and Petter, 27 litres, 5 points.
Here are the scores, and the totals are like this.
Wow, Linhave has a solid lead.
This will be exciting, because it's not decided yet.
We have one more task.
It's time for the last task of the day.
Take your place on the stage.
Yes, we have reached the last task.
You will now set each of your tables,
and you will set it as beautifully as you can.
Most beautiful table in one minute
gets a bonus point.
So you have one minute to set the table in the most beautiful way.
There are things you can use behind you.
Your time starts now.
People are really attacking...
Are they attacking you?
I started a sentence without completing it.
You've started out well, Nora.
Look at that.
You're keeping your cool, Jonis? - Yes, that's important.
I don't trust you.
You look like you're taking your time.
You have set tables before, Petter.
Yes. I quite like setting tables.
I think it's nice, it's fun.
10 seconds left.
Three seconds left.
No!
Two, one and stop.
Yes, don't touch…
Atle, you can come up and judge.
Which table do you think is the most beautiful?
There are a lot of nice ones.
Yes, these are good.
Lots of roses here.
And look at that.
It looks like Petter has to get that bonus point.
Petter? - Yes, Petter will get it.
Then Petter has received a bonus point,
and that's good, because then we can start the task.
The task is as follows:
I would like for you to remove the tablecloth from the table.
I knew it! I knew it!
Did you see how I adjusted the cloth before I started?
Yes, I saw it.
We'll see.
Pride comes before a fall.
Every item that is left on the table,
gives points according to difficulty.
You can look behind you and see the number of points for each item.
That says 25, that says 1, that says 15, 20, etc.
So they give a slightly different amount of points.
Then we'll count them all up at the end.
The most points left on the table
when the cloth is gone wins.
That's fun. Let's get started. - What are they allowed to touch?
They are only allowed to touch the tablecloth.
Yes, they are only allowed to touch the tablecloth.
But that is very difficult.
Yes, it is.
But you did get a whole bonus point,
so that might come in handy.
Your problem, Petter, is that you trust these people.
We'll start with the one who has the least on their table,
and that is you, Jonis.
Be ready. Only touch the tablecloth.
Oh, this is fun. This is exciting.
Yes, this is…
That was impressive.
Nora, you seem to have the second least on the table, so you can go next.
I'm staying away from this. - Yes, that's...
The girl with one arm is taking off.
I think I have to use strength from my legs and my whole body,
because I don't have two arms to pull,
so I need to get...
I'm going to mention it in every episode.
That this hand...
Yes, it's good to have something to blame.
That was fantastic! - Wow!
Damn! - Oh my.
I cannot express how unexpected that was.
It shouldn't be possible.
Two out of two did it so well.
Now I am excited about the continuation.
We'll see, Ingar is next.
You can just get on with it. - I think the flower vases might be decisive.
Do you have a tactic, Ingar?
How... I've never done this before.
You're spinning the cloth?
Are you trying to make a handle?
Oi, double grip, spin.
This is how you do it in Torshov. - I have no idea.
Is that the Torshov grip? - I'm a real amateur.
This will go to hell, Ingar.
Yes. Ingrid, you're next.
I don't understand how this can work.
Yes, the first two were "film tricks" [special effects].
What do you...
Should you just...
No, this doesn't look good, Ingrid.
Not to be negative, but...
No, this will not go well.
This is really scary.
Yes, it is.
There was nothing wrong with your opening move.
But there was just so much cloth left when the move was over.
Petter. Cleaning up old fun?
This is how we clean up after a party.
"Reodor" gets ready.
Then you can just leave everything as it is, and I'll do the maths.
Then we'll sum it up down in our seats.
Yes, we will.
I must say that I am not often impressed in this programme.
But now I am impressed.
I was first impressed by you, Jonis. Fantastic work.
I had done it before. - But I still have to highlight Nora here.
You have one arm that works.
The other one didn't help much,
and yet you solved it with flying colours.
All honour to you.
Olli, you have a little summary.
Yes, I have the points.
Let's see. We'll start at the bottom
with the one who got zero points.
You have a finger in the air, Ingar.
It was probably me. - It was you. That's right.
Nice of you to volunteer.
Second last.
I'm looking at you, Ingrid.
You got a total of 2 points.
Petter, a bonus point. That's not bad.
You got a total of 16.
29 points went to you, Nora.
That means 30 points for Jonis.
Not 30 points in total, but 5 points for the task.
30 points on the table.
That looked good.
And then the points look like this for this task.
Then we'll see who won tonight's programme. It is...
Ingrid is the winner!
Come up and enjoy yourself with these obsolete prizes.
Congratulations.
We'll be back next week with more tasks, more points,
and more of all that is good.
And remember that it usually pays off
to choose the path of least resistance in life.
See you next time. Goodbye.
Original Norwegian subs by: Tommy Lund (LinQ Media Group)
English translation by: u/msbtvxq
Proofread by: u/taskmastermaster
Translation produced in association with: Taskmaster Worldwide Inc @tmworldwideinc