Good evening, and welcome to Taskmaster.
My name is Louis Morissette and I am the Taskmaster!
During the past weeks --
I organized a series of tasks for five comedians loved by the public.
We will discover together what they did and how they did it.
As the Taskmaster --
I will attribute points subjectively and ambiguously to the most deserving.
The winner of the season --
will leave with the greatest prize in television history:
a replica of my head covered in gold!
Ruuuuuuuuuhverse!
Let me introduce the the five comedians—
—who do what they can with what they have...
Mehdi Bousaidan!
Jo Cormier!
Ève Côté!
Christine Morency!
And Mathieu Pepper!
Good evening! Good evening!
And since I am generous, I present to you my assistant, whom I share—
— the rewards, the prizes and the "Oh I can't stand that one..."
Antoine Vézina!
Thank you for the attention, Louis; it makes me happy!
You know... people consider me like the "Rémy Girard" of my generation!
[Rémy Girard is the most-nominated actor in the history of the Genie Awards. Looks and plays nothing like Antoine.]
Uh?!
Yes, it's true.
They say that?
Yes, a lot!
Who?!
Okay, so... we remember that they play for prizes that they bring back home later—
—what's the theme tonight?
Exactly, tonight they had to follow this theme:
"The most satisfying item that they own at home".
"Satisfying", that's pretty large!
It's the first task, you will give them points!
Scoring won't be easy; it can be anything!
Satisfying from home, let's begin with Christine.
When I use it, I do:
["that kind of noise"]
Satisfying.
Yes!
A little back rake!
For your feet?
No, for the back!
I know!
(Oh we're not done?)
It really feels good.
So good!
Mathieu, got the same?
I have... I have the... uh...
It was so hot when you did that!
I know! I know!
Thank you for the contribution...
For the pot... Mehdi!
So for my item, those who don't know I have a collection—
—of collectible figures, and here's one from Dragon Ball!
It's a little Son Goku!
Sometimes I try to dress up this way, I'm a big fan of Japanese pop culture...
A bit like Jo!
ありがとう [Thank you.]
We even dressed almost the same today—
—I thought that maybe if you mixed us up, I'd get more points this show.
I have very bad news for you, Jo...
So, what's your prize, Jo?
Just look, we have it.
This photo is a nightmare!
That's Pepper?
You had those "energy bracelet" thingies?
It was for his stress when he went on stage!
I hope someday you'll do a giveaway contest for your earrings!
How long ago was that?
I think it was about... say, one year and a half? Before the pandemic.
The pandemic really improved him! However, Louis, this isn't a photo of Pepper.
No?
Nope! It's a shim to put under shaky tables in restaurants.
In case you wouldn't be stable...
So what's better than a friend's picture to hold you up when you lose your footing?
That's nice!
Ève, you brought something?
Yes, something very satisfying, coming straight from Thailand!
You know when you're somewhere and you want to feel like you're lying in a swamp?
Well, listen.
During heavy anxiety phases, I can do this for 2 hours straight on my sofa!
Don't give that to Mathieu; his existence is anxiety!
Give it to him.
I would say, right now I'm doing really well, Louis!
It's satisfying or what?
There's one prize left to see, Mathieu's.
I'll take it back 'cause...
Thank you, Christine.
Let's see the picture.
Take this instead... take this!
It's funny because it's true!
Alright, points time... now he's a little sad—
—and I have so much affection for him... Five for Mathieu.
Oh come on...!
He's rolling in pity!
He's being pitiful on purpose!
I'll keep going in the same vein, for the same reason—
—Four points to Jo because I like the old Mathieu!
Three points for Ève—
Thank you!
—for managing Mathieu's anxiety.
Two to Christine, and one for Mehdi.
After all, he didn't mess up!
It's in the books.
Let's go to the first task!
A festive and exploding task!
Where's the task?
It's there!
Woah!
I'm kinda scared of balloons...
My nails were freshly done.
I can't burst the balloon...
Oh my god...
"Been there, done that!"
Burst all the balloons.
Fastest wins.
Your time starts when the first balloon bursts.
Perfect, so until then I can go find a tool...
What can pop a balloon...
What can pop... balloons?
A very good question: What can pop balloons?
I presume he found what did?
I'll keep you on the hook for a bit. We'll begin with Jo, Mathieu and Ève!
Damn... but still!
I believe this would do it.
I'm thinking of making a pile of them...
...or to group them by untying the clothesline.
Like we say where I'm from...
...it's gonna be tight shit!
I'm gonna go with this...
Can I?
Well, of course!
If this one doesn't work, will you lend me one of yours you have to your keep neck in order?
Certainly.
[Primitive technology moment...]
Okay.
No need...
To strike...
To enter my home. [Lyrics from "Pas besoin de Frapper" by Sylvain Cossette]
Here she goes!
One last test before.
Oh, better like this. A small metal ring I found.
It won't be a manly thing.
3... 2... 1...
Nope! This is what I didn't want to happen... it bent!
Does it count when they fly away?
I gotta pop them even though they left?
Fuck!!
Fuck fuck fuck!
Oh little slut!
Of course... waste of time!
Yes!!
Your idea to group them all, you...
I gave up.
Oh, okay.
It's over!
I don't think this is the one where I looked my best.
Very fast!
Interesting.
So many things to peel, but Ève...
What were you doing?
You were sharpening your bobby-pin with a skate?
I had removed the plastic ending, but I thought I could make it sharper at the end with the skate.
Oh there was a plastic cover on the tip, got it.
There was a bit left, so I shaved it off with the skate.
Alright, do we have times?
We do have times.
Ève is actually the fastest with 49 seconds.
1 minute 10 seconds for Jo.
Mathieu, 2 minutes 17 seconds.
It's very long...
It's very long, uh?
It's long but... it's complex... it's...
It didn't go like I wanted.
Oh no?
I don't want to talk about it!
We're going to the break. When we return, we'll see if Mehdi and Christine looked better.
Back to Taskmaster...
Before the break, our comedians did what comedians do often, meaning:
"Bursting the balloon!" [Common expression meaning drinking over 0.08%]
So we saw Jo, Ève and Mathieu...
We have Mehdi and Christine left.
We'll start with Mehdi!
Okay!
Well well!
Good plan!
What pops balloons...
What can pop... Balloons!
So long as I don't burn down the place...
It says a lot about my past, uh?
Congrats, Mehdi!
What's your secret?
I spent too much time at Bordeaux. [largest prison in Québec]
And what was that thing... the little musical thingnie?
I figured I'd get the spirits on my side, then the door closed shut and we all witnessed it, that incantation!
Mathieu would have just died in that shed with the door closing behind him!
Do you think heating the blade did anything? It probably only lasted 3 seconds anyway?
It actually took a while to heat it up, and I'm sorry about that but I broke the knife—
—but yeah, a heated blade in...
C'mon, no one did time in prison here?
Heated blades!
And his time?
It worked very well, 15 seconds.
For now it's the fastest...
Sometimes...
For now, because Christine has the habit to... revisit a little the tasks...
Cheating yeah...
No no no! It's all about the originality.
Like this?!
Yes!!
I'm starting the time as soon as a balloon pops!
Get outta the way, Antoine!
Okay!
Here... we goooooooo!!
This way!
Yes!
Over theeeeeeeere!!
Yes!
Reverse! This way, this way, this way!
Noooo!
The little fucker!
Yes!!
Those people aren't sane...
The problem was the driver!
They weren't allowed to let me drive the buggy, I don't know why, I was sane—
—I respect the rules, I'm cautious driving... I don't get it. And I was saying "it's there!"
So he backed...
Meanwhile you were saying "Ruuuuuuuuuhverse!"
"Ruuuuuuuuuhverse!"
R-U-H-V-E-R-S-E
So Christine ended up doing 1 minute 26 seconds.
Very good!
And $24 of gas!
They're stingy, uh?
So the shortest time is?
It's Mehdi with 15 seconds!
I still have a little bit of deception...
What is it?
I understand that no one managed to break the code?
No. The Taskmaster clearly is a superior being...
And brilliant!
Stop it!
A knowledge of Morse Code was required, but the balloons were dots and dashes...
It all made a sentence.
"Congrats Christine"?
POP ONE BLUE AND WIN
So if someone were to pop only one blue balloon, they would have automatically won.
Oh my god!
Alas, our Morse was not up to date!
Oh I should have...
Alright, let me hand out points...
Obviously, five points to Mehdi with the shortest time.
Ève with four points!
Jo, three points!
Christine, two points!
And Mathieu... A single little point.
For now we have a tie in the lead with Ève and Jo, congrats!
Next task, my beautiful Antoine!
Certainly!
It's a task that will be gone in a blink!
Oh my god...
Oh yeah?
Good evening!
I just pull on this?
Uh yes.
It's both exciting and unnerving!
Can I?
Yes.
Do not blink your eyes.
Last one to blink wins.
Okay.
Your time starts in 10 seconds.
Oh no I'm so bad with this... Oh my god, it's starting real bad... Can I help myself with my hands?
Can I blink during the 10 seconds?
Yes!
You can prepare.
Okay!
It's simple?
Yes.
You can't skirt the rules?
No!
I imagine that they still—
I feel like going with a prediction since the world record is 57 minutes...
What?
I don't assume you've done that long, but easily maybe 4-5 minutes? 10%?
My god, this man will be disappointed...
Let's go with Ève, Jo and Mehdi!
I'm terrible at this game, my eyes are so dry!
Aya aye!
I was operated in my eyes...
My eyes are as dry as powder.
My corneas are so thin thin thin... I can't.
I blinked.
Ah, okay.
Now I have 12 here, but it's probably less than that...
Do you have a strategy or...?
Uh... I... uh ah...
Ahhh... Sorry, I didn't want to distract you.
Well, it's what happened.
Thank you, Mehdi.
That was the task?
Yep.
Oh my god!
Did you see?
Wow!
It's my choice now.
I want to beat my personal best.
Already looks better.
Better right?
Just watching hurts!
What?
You distracted him...
Wait, hold on...
Was it on purpose?
Not at all, I appreciate Mehdi.
My god this was hard to say spontaneously!
For real, what we don't see is that I talk to everyone, so it was a fair treatment.
I think I'll compensate a bit, how long did he last?
12 seconds, that was Jo.
Mehdi 11 seconds.
If you didn't notice, it was Morse, it said "I love the Taskmaster".
Alright perfect, and Ève?
Ève, 7 seconds.
I've had an operation!
We thought... that's it, she's not perfect, she's got thin corneas!
I have little flaws!
Okay alright, we'll give you all time to cool down—
—you can blink now, we'll be back with Mathieu and Christine after the break!
It'll be fine!
Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show where I forbid young comedians to blink—
—we call that the showbiz hierarchy!
Oh he's well established... he's at the top of the pyramid!
We saw Jo, Ève and Mehdi before the break..
There's Christine and Mathieu left!
Mathieu, come on!
Yessir. I think I'm confident.
Of course.
7... 8... 9...
10.
Oh no it's worse!
Ah shit, I just want to blink more!
[that sound again!]
Does this count? It doesn't!
It doesn't count, but it really hurts!
Are they closing?
See it doesn't close, it hurts!
This is a nightmare!
You understand? How—
This stops when you want!
—well no, I want to beat everyone!
Oh no... it burns.
It's so stupid it burns!
Feels like a horror movie!
This has to be pretty!
The perfect moment to seek a date!
Right, Antoine?
Yes.
My arms hurt, Antoine.
Can you come hold my right eye?
In theory I'm not sure if I'm allowed.
No?
You want me to hold your eyelid...?
Hold the top and I'll hold the bottom.
Yes that's good, gives me a small break.
Thanks!
All is good, I'm calmer...
I can't remove my fingers anymore though.
Something I like about you is...
Oh no... I blinked!
Very good.
Thank you.
I'm very zen.
Doesn't even bother me anymore.
It's hard uh?
I might be beating a world record.
I think it's 7 days...
Oh! I blinked, Antoine.
Wow!
We underestimate ourselves, uh?
The luck we have to have eyelids!
Happy to know what you'll look like when you'll get Botox!
It'll be great!
Congratulations, honestly!
Yes, two very good performances!
Just thinking of it I'm crying!
Really it seemed unpleasant! Now for the times?
Mathieu, 1 minute 29 seconds.
I thought it was more than that!
But it is Christine that wins it with an impressive 2 minutes 44 seconds!
Congrats!
Okay.
For points, there will be a slight adjustment, so...
Ève gets one point.
One for Ève.
Jo two points.
Yes, perfect.
Mehdi should be three, but we'll put him to four since you tripped him in his skates.
I'm sorry.
Four points to Mathieu.
And five points for Christine.
Five points for Christine!
This wasn't cheating?
Two... co-leaders.
Alright!
Mehdi and... Mathieu!
Because you're too nice, too nice.
The tension is at its peak for this third task!
A task... that is retro!
Hellooooorhrhh!
Oh ah?
It never stops.
"Hop pidou!"
Create a video that will be impressive to watch when played backwards.
When played...
You have 20 minutes, your time starts now.
I know!
Done?
Fin!
It'll... It'll... It'll be something... I got ideas.
I think!
Antoine?
Yes?
Are you available for a brainstorm?
Maybe it could be a fight!
Oh the good idea!
Then it would do "eeeeh".
It's good!
Congrats!
Not bad uh?
One of my good ones.
Let me recap, Christine I hope you got the task, it's played back "reversed".
No no no... you mean:
"Ruuuuuuuuuhversed!"
Yes!! We'll think about it all during the break, we'll see the results once we come back!
Thank you and welcome back to Taskmaster.
Now Antoine, I don't expect to be disappointed since this is an artistic creativity task...
Exactly, we asked our artists to make a video played "ruhversed"—
"ruhversed"
—so that will be played backwards, you'll all get it.
Let's go see Ève's creation.
My god! Starting with the best!
"Ève The Screamer"
Pretty hot!
Well done!
Do you have a ball? Want me to re-do it?
Go for it!
Short, punched up, annoying... everything was there!
Not bad uh?
Now that we get the principle, let's see Mehdi's piece!
Hard to beat!
[The Chick's Feast]
Makes me want to absorb tears!
There's a nice poetry there, it's too pretty, we should submit this to the Cannes Festival!
You two are good together!
I know, we worked together many times before, I don't know why, he never tells anyone.
Let's go see...
Jo!
It's no good, Jo!
It's shit!
It's so cheap!
So shit!
Hold on, why didn't he get a little polish, he doesn't even get an opening, he got nothing!
Sometimes you can't save it!
...we didn't spend a penny on this video!
Nor did he, so this is what you get!
It was awesome!
Hold on, hold on, I think we underestimate the work that went in this!
Clearly!
Let's see it, but the other way.
Oh yes? Yes!
I would have liked that he come in faster.
It's better this way!
Better in this direction!
Better this way!
But who reads a book...
I don't get it.
Now Louis, I might tell you something real shitty, but—
—you don't have any acting lessons to give me!
Oh, the scumbag!
Zero points for Jo.
Noted, zero points.
Zero points for Jo.
Ouch ouch ouch!
So uhm, let's got see Chritine's.
I would never dare say that, Jo!
But I did.
I have lit some sparklers
with my vision alone.
I think that Louis Morissette
is very impressed
and that once again
Christine Morency has won the task.
It's all "Chinese"!
It's very good!
It's a Korean short film?
She won prizes there!
It's not, not bad...
Not far.
Not "not".
It's fun how we don't feel how it gets worse and worse with videos...
Oh good, everyone felt it!
Well yeah of course!
As a matter of fact!
We'll go see Mathieu's!
Ah yes, darnit...
No... Mathieu... no...
No!
No!!
Well motherfuck!
He really rammed the crowd stick in his crotch!
The winner!
We have a winner.
It's the only task where you didn't complain, we'll take that!
There's two things, uh, it was really...
There's one thing... it took sooo long to do...
Really long and I wasn't able to spit... maybe I could just have a bit more pity...
For the... uhm...
You've been surfing on that for a while now, Mathieu.
Mehdi deserves five points...
Mehdi that's five points.
Four here.
For casting alone...
Really liked the screamer as well!
It was good and effective.
It was effective, short, there was a story, it held up...
After that we stray, there's the attempt of the reversed voice...
Yes, but for a really obscure reason...
Mathieu's made me laugh...
Yes. Yes?
I'll give him three points.
It wasn't the objective...
Three points.
The accident and the sparklers?
For the effort, I'll give two points to Christine and Jo.
Uh? That's so kind!
I can't believe I'm the same as...
You worked hard, did a stunt, could have hurt yourself, it just wasn't interesting.
And for your derogatory comment!
Can... Can I plead my case?
No!!
I'd rather have zero.
You'd like to have zero?
Yes.
Yes because?
It hurts to get pity points, I don't know how Mathieu does it.
Nah nah but... Nah but...
You Jo... that's your...
Anyway, fuck you!
Give it to Mathieu!
What's our total, Antoine?
Right now, Mehdi is in the lead...
Jo and Christine are at the footer.
When we return, it's the final task of the night, live in front of your eyes!
We are now at the favorite task of the comedians, done live in the flesh!
Antoine, who will be lucky to read us the task?
It'll be Jo, but I take a moment to specify that this task is important, because everyone can win.
It's very close!
The points are that close at this stage...
Many times, Mathieu is not in the race, but even he's here!
Because... Jo... Because...?
Because maybe today everybody wins?
Let's see, it's possible!
Now... let me read.
Write down a 10 word fact.
A 10 word fact.
You have 100 seconds.
There will be one bonus point for the most interesting fact.
A fact.
F-A-C-T
F-A-C-T. A fact!
Can we define "fact"?
No.
That's the idea, it's open, a 10 word fact, with a bonus point for the most spectacular one.
Here we go!
Ten words...
They're extremely focused...
Ève's fact seems promising; she erased it twice...
Complicated, Ève, uh? 10 words!
Plenty enough!
They're so cute while creating!
Is everyone ready?
You got some time life, 10 seconds!
Ève has been recounting her words at least 25 times!
5 seconds.
Ohhh! Hold on hold on!
2... 1... It's over!
It's over!
Yeah that's it.
Oh!
He has a second task!
Louis, how do you do it?
Another envelope?
There's a second part to the task.
Oh god, it clearly was too easy...
Without producing any noise,
say your fact to the Taskmaster,
the most words accurately identified by the Taskmaster
wins it.
We'll start with Mathieu.
Oh no!
Just stand here.
We start this in 3... 2... 1... let's go!
There were a few sounds...
Did you pick up anything, did you guys get anything at all?
"Yesterday". "In bed"?
After that, nothing at all...
Nothing before either buddy!
What is your fact?
"When we say we're in zero gravity, we fall quickly."
You couldn't even say it by reading it!
Zero.
Christine, your turn.
Give me some! Give me some!
I only have "Mathieu Pepper smells like armpits very strongly..."
Come on, Louis...
Why is it turning personal on this fucking show?! Fuck!
Stop, stop... A fact, we wanted a fact!
A fact?! Come and smell!
What was it?
"Mathieu Pepper, will win by licking real hard Louis' butt."
You had two words.
Take your time...
I think some people have it.
Okay, the start I had trouble...
"Evelyn"
But we finished with "the Statue of Liberty".
Yes!
The. Statue. Of. (the). Liberty. Very good!
What was the fact?
"Eiffel created the Eiffel Tower and Statue of Liberty."
Ah, a well structured sentence!
Aw... she skipped a little word!
Can you lift your mustache so I can see your lips?
Roll that up a bit!
Hold on.
So bad, man... you are so bad!
Are you finished? Did you start?
It doesn't end!
Now I'm just staring at your eyes.
Okay, please stop this!
I got nothing, nothing.
I have nothing but fear...
"Your ears and your nose grow all your freaking life!"
It's a fact!
Very good!
It's a fact!
I'll go slow, Louis.
Pay attention.
Take your time.
That's a good one.
Oh yes!
Do any of you get anything?
All!
Yes.
One left.
Yes!
Yes.
"You eat"...
Yes!
Two times!
"you also eat"
Yes!
That's all.
"you also eat", "eat" twice, maybe he didn't write...
Look, we'll see... 2... 3... 4... potentially 5!
So what's the fact?
"When you eat a fig, you also eat a wasp."
All clear!
Yes really, thank you!
It's true!
It's hard to give points here, because everyone worked hard and in good faith...—
—just happened that I was bad.
So I think I'll just give the points based on discovered words.
Oh that's good!
So what would that do?
Uh... Zero for Mathieu.
Zero for Jo.
Three for Christine, you found "Mathieu Pepper" and "Strong".
Four for Ève and four for Mehdi!
And the bonus point.
Exactly, for the fact.
For the best, can you all briefly remind me of them?
My fact was that when, when we're in zero gravity....
Alright, so not you... Christine, your fact?
"Mathieu Pepper will win by licking real hard Louis' butt."
Yes, okay that....
It's coming!
In show business, that always works.
Mine was "Eiffel created the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty".
It's a... a... a decent fact, but... Jo?
"Your ears and your nose grow...
Alright he's trolling... Mehdi?
"When a wasp enters a fig...", in fact when you eat a fig you eat a wasp, the fig is a plant where the fruit grows inside—
—so the wasp lays her eggs in there, but when she enters she breaks her wings and can't get out after.
It's then she lays her eggs, and stays stuck, so the plant will digest her—
—so that's why when you eat a fig, you also eat a wasp.
Very interesting still!
Can't be true!
If it's true, it's very interesting! If it's false, we just looked like a bunch of idiots... But I'm giving him the bonus point!
That's a bonus point!
A simple addition allows me to deduce tonight's winner...
and it's... Mehdi!
After 3 episodes it's Ève that's in the lead! But the race is extremely tight!
Thank you everyone at home, we'll see you next week with the same comedians at the same time—
—Medhi, get your crap!
Everybody wins!
EVERYBODY WINS!
[Translation by r/panelshow, October 2022]