Good evening! My name is Louis Morissette...
Welcome to Taskmaster!
I will be the Taskmaster—
—but... what is a "Taskmaster"?
During the past weeks --
I organized a series of tasks for five comedians loved by the public.
We will discover together what they did and how they did it.
As the Taskmaster --
I will attribute points subjectively and ambiguously to the most deserving.
The winner of the season
will leave with the greatest prize in television history:
a replica of my head covered in gold!
"Always a Plan B"
So let me introduce the comedians—
—who once again completed the tasks tonight...
Jo Cormier!
Christine Morency!
Ève Côté!
Good evening! Good evening!
Mehdi Bousaidan!
And Mathieu Pepper!
And to help me I hired myself an assistant—
—the sixth funniest comedian in Québec...
Antoine Vézina!
Thank you!
They're all in front of me, I can't believe...
Five others right there!
Happy to be here, I take everything that comes by!
I was recommended a variable rate mortgage—
—my mistake.
However Louis, I'm happy to be here with you, because like you I'm different.
Now that introductions are done, what do we start with, Antoine?
So we'll start by revealing what we're playing for tonight.
So we asked every one of our comedians to bring a prize item—
and they had a constraint, a theme to follow...
And it's the first task, since you'll be scoring those as always—
—and you'll do it again this time...
The theme to follow was the following: "the strangest item you own."
Okay!
We'll start with Jo!
Excuse me?
What's that?
Yeah it's mine.
That's yours?
Yes mine!
This is a...
This is actually a pillow, there's two places to put your hands there—
—it allows for a proper sleep in any position.
The hole?
What's the hole for?
Breathing.
Okay, you can't see?
A big forehead pillow like that and I could lie down like this on the floor—
We're good, thanks.
—or like this here!
Was it a gift or a purchase?
Paid 60 dollars for it!
Oh!! I guess it wasn't much of a deal...
Sleep has no price, my friends!
Who are we going for next?
Christine!
Ah yes here.
So this is completely weird—
How strange!
—not exactly the object, but rather what it makes me feel.
An orgasm-o-tron!
You know?
Elaborate, it's satisfying?
Well, it's better than a gentleman.
A gentleman!
And I find that impressive, especially since it's full of little branches.
Where do you put it, miss?
How do you wear it?
That's my own little secret!
So uh Mathieu, is yours also an item you've placed in a particular place?
Pardon me?
Nope... well let's see.
Voilà! This is the effect I wanted, I wanted to surprise!
Okay, I uh...
With your hands, who thinks they know what this is?
Do you know what it is?
An olive pitter?
Was gonna say...
For cherries actually, but well played... yes yes!
Yes... alright stop!
You saw that?
You... you ever use that?
No, no no! You know when you move in to your first apartment?
You feel like buying things—
The maniacal phase, right?
And then you feel like an adult, and every adult with some self-respect needed a...
The good old trick of putting it in your mouth and spitting out the pit...
I don't even like cherries, so it's not...
So he doesn't like cherries, it's going real well!
Alright, that's nice, you're compulsive like that! Okay alright.
They're nice prizes, uh?
They are nice prizes...
Ève!
Yes!
Hey, this thing...
It's my little "shooter bull", my flask when I travel... I got it in Spain!
You put liquor in it, and you drink out of his ass all day while visiting!
Well done, Well done!
Not bad there!
Oh yes! The little plug!
Perfect, thank you!
Well done!
Remaining we have...
Mehdi!
Mehdi! Let's see!
Yes! This is a little raven that I have no idea how I got, I woke up one morning—
—it was in my home and uh...
Big night uh?
Big night! It look like here a bit—
—a typical BDSM evening at your place... it was...
Nice, Well done.
Yes, thank you.
I'll score this based on originality—
—so that'll be five points for Ève!
I love the small flask!
Uh, four points to Mathieu Pepper!
Perfect, four points.
I didn't really understand the pillow, but I'll give it three points!
Yes!!
Your not-so-extravagant thingy was just to share a perversion... I'll give it two points.
Two points is pretty good.
And one point to Mehdi!
This was the first task, for the next one..
I think you'll need this...
It's moving?
Very.
Ah alright.
I backed myself a little...
I tend to be more effective with music.
Fill an egg cup—
—with...
I don't even understand the words.
Well no...
Fill an egg cup with as many tears as possible.
You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now.
But... f... fill up?
An egg... an egg cup?
Oh! an egg cup!
This is an egg cup?
Alright... with as many tears as possible?
Okay.
...with as many tears as possible.
Tears, uh?
The uh... yes!
Your anxiety really makes you lose access to some vocabulary—
—"Tears! Oh yes, tears!"
So they had 20 minutes...
20 minutes!
To accumulate as many tears as possible.
In the... egg cup.
In the egg cup.
Egg cup.
Let's go see Mathieu, Jo, Christine and Ève!
When my eyes are in the wind, they always cry.
So I'll try to give plenty of wind to my eyes.
Like this.
Otherwise I got a plan B... Always got plan B's in my bra.
It'll work, Antoine.
I'll put some like this... the sugar... it's the sugar of the onion that makes you cry.
Polar mint.
Mask.
Which way... the mouth or the nose that makes it cry?
Uh... The... eyes?
Gotta stop this, this was a bad idea.
I just got it... good one!
Not bad uh?
Oh, it still burns!
11 minutes.
11 minutes?!
There's 11 left, or there's been 11?
Which do you prefer?
I don't know Antoine, I want it to end!
So?
Nothin'.
Hmm...
Plan B?
Some "Clear Eyes®".
Drops for the eyes.
Oh no...!
Oh my god.
Oh man...
Oh!! There's some Antoine!
Yeeeees!! Okay!
The other eye maybe? So it's more...
Oh no, Antoine... I'm very sad.
Woo! Really hoping everyone has a good time, because here... so much!
I feel it warming up.
Well chyeah!
I dunno uh!
It's a good sign.
It's a good sign uh?
Yes yes. I think the next step would be...
It'd be to cry uh?
Tell me when you're ready.
Alright, go!
[Ladies and gents... Sir Elton John!]
Oh. It's not tuned.
It was coming...
[totally legit crying]
Oh yes.
One!
Two my friend; here, check the count.
Two! Alright we're rolling, here we go.
Okay... what can I find?
I wrote "sad video"... it says "try not to cry".
Alright, here it goes, it's gonna go!
Nothing left.
I feel liberated.
I can't believe it.
There's a lot in there!
A lot of things, different approaches, methods.
Jo, seriously, it's gotta hurt?
Honestly, no!
The onion straight to the eye, and you didn't even cry!
I found myself a new hidden skill, next year for me it's "America's Got Talent".
It'll be an hour with onions to my face and juggling bowling pins.
You could be juggling with onions?
Ohh! She's my director.
Mathieu, you gave it your all you—
—did everything. It's just too bad we weren't collecting forehead sweat because...
Oh no, that he would have won!
We see it a bit there.
That's.... something!
Ève, you also tried everything there... no tears?
Bone dry, Louis, I couldn't do it—
—I watched Jack's death in "This is Us", I cried enough to liquefy myself, nothing came out.
Nothing came out?
I don't know...
Did you think to call Marie-Lyne Joncas? She makes you cry...
[Ève's other half of the duo "Les Grandes Crues"]
Whoops!
No, well, no... she wasn't available.
So, we're been turning around the pot, let's go see about...
The cheater?
Winner?
You're a cheater!
Well no!!
Well now...
Come on!
It required tears!
It was tears, artificial ones!
Also known as fake tears.
It's called artificial tears!
Yes, fake tears.
It's called artificial tears!
Eyedrops!
It's called...
Artificial... Tears.
Now...
Don't you make me cry, Louis Morissette!
The actual count at the moment... for tears...
0 for Ève.
2 for Mathieu.
3 for Jo.
And 8 for Christine, with the fan—
—or 3 liters with the fake tears.
Okay.
After the break, Mehdi Bousaidan.
Welcome back to Taskmaster! Antoine, remind us where we were at.
The task that had been given to the comedians—
—to fill an egg cup with as many tears as possible.
Natural tears.
Natural or not, it's your call.
We've seen everyone except... Mehdi.
Ooh! A project?
Yep!
I like!
Good project, I don't know but...
Do we have straws?
Yes, we got straws, tape, and I found tweezers.
Weee!
Okay, if you pull your nose hair, it should trigger some... ow!... tears.
There you go, that makes you cry!
It doesn't seem to...
I feel... I feel them coming!
We feel them!
Yup.
How do you even...
Trying to collect those, gonna end up with an infection—
—hey, I got one!
I'll have to be more effective.
[Tabasco - Scoville level: 3750 SHU]
Don't give up... don't give up...
Classic makes you cry...
There's something about pepper being tear-inducing, but I don't if you gotta...
Pepper spray!
A pe... No no no no!
We're getting there!
I might not get any tears, but at least I've have cleaned up my... my nose!
Ah!! I put that in Tabasco!
Now hold on a minute, this could be the solution...
Yes!
Of course! Why didn't I think of it...
No... nonono!
[For your consideration: Outstanding Dramatic Performance.]
It itches, this is hell!
Oh my god...
Haha! It works!
Yep.. Oh! Oh! That's good...
He wants me to fill it?! Or is it...
It's "the most".
Ahh! Would I have known...
No no, that's right...
That's very good!
Uh.. Alright! So how much...
It was a mistake... you know, not on purpose... I didn't want to put tabasco directly in my eye—
—but I had already used the baster thing, and while I'm at it—
—well... let's go!
It's just a TV show, you know? As in "calm down" a bit...
You only got two!
I want Fred Astaire's statue, you know who that is?
So... how many tears during this attempt to become blind?
10 tears!
Mehdi had the most tears.
Okay...
Clearly, I'll give five points to Mehdi for his 10 tears!
Christine, four points, you still managed 8 natural tears after all.
The part during the fan.
Nothing for the cheating.
Three points for Mathieu.
Two for... Jo.
And one for Ève.
I'll take it.
Why?
Why yourself!
What about you, what did you do?
You're there with your fake tears...
I had 8 before!
Hey, don't quibble... in the end—
—Everybody wins!!
Uh, it's not true, Jo, thank you.
For now...
It's Mathieu that leads with 7 points...
Okay yes.
And the guys who says everybody wins... is last.
Jo, with only...
I think we're ready for the second task of the evening.
Okay, for the next task we asked them to write—
—and count at the same time... and it's not a given to everybody.
Heeeeello, Antoine!
Heeello!
Hello, Antoine.
Hello, how's it going?
Always.
Greetings, doing well?
Yes! You?
Well. Thanks.
Always at your best or what?
Ah! Well thanks, you as well.
It's not false, uh?
So I'm taking it.
Oh yeah?
It's going!
Write a ten-word story—
—before crossing the finish line.
You must absolutely run while writing.
The fastest to cross the finish line with a well structured story wins.
Write a ten-word story...?
Ten words.
Ten words?!
Ten words.
The task starts now!
Started.
Antoine!!
Can we...
Can we just put back Antoine's face up there please?
It's not...
Comfier with chess, my good Antoine?
Look, you try having a heart attack while running.
I tried it here...
It's... It's not easy!
So, the task... run 100 meters while writing a 10-word story...
10 words, well structured...
Yeah right...
We'll see that in a bit, for now, let's see the running!
You have everything there.
You must absolutely run while writing, run with writing.
Here we go.
I'm following.
The...
Small...
Dog...
Of...
My....
Sister...
With.. a... broken... leg... Fuck!
Your time started.
I understand, but I gotta write while running...
Okay.
I'll make up my story here.
Perfect.
10 words...
A man... cuts...
some wood...
and... he...
DIES!!
It's the story of the little beaver. [Theme song from the French version of "Don Chuck Monogatari"]
Hold up who goes there... Antoine Vézina... [Inspector gadget theme. It has lyrics in French.]
He's the smallest...
Shit!
There's a lot happening in your head.
Yep.
I don't understand what I wrote, Antoine!
Write it properly.
6... 7... 8... 9.
How many was it?
Ten.
Whoops?
How many words?
1... 2... 3... 4... 5....
1... 2... 3... 7.
9... 10!
11... 12... 13.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9.
Uh...
Okay!
uh... ah...story... of...
...small...
Is your story complete? Complete!
Stopped the time.
I got it!
Got it! I'm done!
Go! Go! Go!
Over.
Yeeees!
Goddarn!
I hate everything from this game!
You hate everything...
Tell me you didn't go back home that night saying "I ran so much today!"
Absolutely! I even took the time to get an app on my phone to map my whole run!
Funny, Antoine didn't have the same face with you as he did with me.
Nope!
With me he was post heart attack!
Uh okay... Ève, I thought you would never start...
I thought why would I start right away?
Because it's a race?
But no, it said to write a 10 word story while running, perfect, I respected all the instructions.
We'll see after the break if they managed to follow those simple instructions.
Ah!
Thank you very much, welcome back to Taskmaster!
Antoine!
Yes!
Before the break, our comedians needed to run—
—while writing.
Exactly, a 10-word story... We saw the runs, now we'll see the stories.
Let's start with Christine.
Ah! Very well!
A very sad story inspired by the run...
Okay, I understand.
A girl without....
A girl without (any) cardio...
wished for her own death.
That was nice!
It was touching... bravo, Christine!
Bravo!
This was a call for help...?
Yes... but well written!
Well written, well structured...
You saw the tears? They were real tears!
Thank you very much, Christine.
Christine prefers walks.
Yep.
We'll go see another story... Mathieu's.
The little kitten...
...had a great friendship...
...towards (the) bears.
The little kitten...
...had a great friendship towards (the) bears.
Well done!
10 words!
10 words, good story or...?
10 words, 10 words and a good story.
It's well structured, it's better written than some sketches from "Between Two Sheets". [Series on which Mathieu is on]
No but I liked it, should have a lot of points this one, it was good.
It was touching, you could feel there was kinship...
There was distress, distress in there...
Where's the distress? The kitten liked the bears...
Can we just go see what he did for fun?
Let's compare with Jo!
Let's go!
Read it for us?
A man... cuts... some... nice wood... and he dies.
9... no?
A
Man
Cuts
Some
Nice
Wood
And
He
Dies
Go, we're back in!
Okay...!
We're listening.
A man...
...cuts some...
...nice dirty wood...
...and he dies.
All good.
Just like that!
Stories, I can make them like THAT!
So arrogant at the start... "the task starts now!"
And you couldn't even respect 10 words.
I was missing one word, Louis...
You had to count 10!
Look, my narrative space was already set, so I added something...
...just more taking, dying from a DIRTY tree!
Ah, dirty, that's good.
...you die infected with bark down your throat!
Woah woah woah... 10 words... it was 10 words only.
...that famous dirty wood.
Ève... are you interested or no?
Ève, I'm interested greatly, with all the time it took to write it, I want to see it.
Must be good.
If it doesn't rhyme, we'll be disappointed.
So uh...
It's the story...
...of the little beaver with (a) broken leg
Okay... "l'histoire" with the l', you count that as one word?
I counted as two.
And "c'est"...
That's there yeah...
[confusion]
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10... 11.
So yeah, there might be 11 words in the end.
It's a shame.
It's a shame because if the beaver wasn't small, he'd had been fine!
She says it's a shame...
I just had to get the right beaver, and I was fine...
And you took 20 minutes to think about it?
20 minutes... It said the time would start when I would be running so I figured I'd write it before I left!
But then inspiration came to me, and I wrote one word too much.
So two out of three who couldn't count to ten?
Exactly... but there's the run times that might factor in... let's see Mehdi, though.
No no... there's "3" out of four that can't count!
The dog...
...is as terrified of me...
...as me from him.
Isn't that 11?
The. Dog.
Is.
As.
Terrified.
Of.
Me.
As.
Me.
From...
"Fromhim"! It's in...
As me Fromhim!
"Fromhim".
Yeah... in joual, it's very popular!
♪ The dog is as terrified of me as me fromhim! ♪
So... if we can do fake tears, can we do fake words?
While we're cheating...
...gonna have to get over it someday.
C'mon there.
I remind you Louis that this is also a race, so here are the times.
Considering 3 out of 5 couldn't count to 10...
But I sprinted.
Hold on there.
That's where you'll save it...
I'll redeem myself with time here.
Mehdi still took 1 minute 25 seconds...
That a joke?
Mathieu, 1 minute 11 seconds.
Ève, 1 minute 6 seconds... Some sort of minute before leaving, appreciating the weather and all.
Christine, 46 seconds.
Voilà! Thank you!
There is no point in running...
Everything comes in due time to the one who sweats!
And finally...
Also I'm really not sure that's the saying... but finally...
We have Jo who did that even with the back and forth in 23 seconds!
Will it affect the scoring...?
I will disqualify Ève and Mehdi because they count didn't to 10—
—you needed 10, there wasn't 10.
You know that's harsh.
The Taskmaster has spoken.
Next, I'll give five points to... hmm...
Five points to Christine.
Four to Mathieu.
Thank you kindly.
Why the four to Mathieu?
Touching.
And three for Jo.
Now careful, we have a tie for the lead between Christine and Mathieu with 11 points.
Oh my dear!
Oh yes!
And on the tail end, tied for last, Ève and Mehdi with 6 points.
That's easy to catch up, right?
No big deal!
You can do it!
A little embarrassing.
Nothing is set, since we have another task, right, Antoine?
Absolutely, and for the next task, the contestants needed to get... "really"... wet. [Bath wordplay that I can't match]
｡◕ ‿ ◕｡
｡◕ ヮ ◕｡
(ﾉ◕ ヮ ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Goddamn fucking around...
Come on!
It's nice!
Okay...
Empty the bathtub completely.
Fastest wins.
You may not remove the plug, you may not tilt or bamage...
Nope, heh... you may not tilt or bamage... c'mon now!
you may not tilt or damade... geez!
Is that a joke!
you may not tilt or damage the bathtub.
Your time starts now.
Okay! I hope no one bamaged... I mean damaded.... damaged...
It's not easy!
To see if completing the task was easier than reading it—
—we'll meet up just after the break!
Now back to Taskmaster...
The current task, our five comedians must empty a bathtub as fast as possible.
Exactly.
Who do we start with, Antoine?
We'll go with Christine and Ève.
You're out of here!
Smells good, smells like bubbles!
Oh boy...
If my skimmer was less...
big... it'd be better!
It's at this point you just gotta scoop...
Just gotta scoop...
Like when you go fishing and your boat takes water.
Those waves...
It's going well... it's going so well!
Whoops.
It's cold!!
Good thing you took off your shoes to keep them dry.
This bathtub is empty, buddy!
At home obviously we got a little more...
Practical with the plug.
This is why I don't take baths.
Really?! "This is why I don't take baths"?
At home you don't have to dry it with a towel, you know?
Alright, two good times!
Christine emptied it in 2 minutes 10 seconds...
And Ève, 2 minutes, 1 second!
Not bad, a big 9 seconds!
We'll go see Mathieu and Jo's attempts.
Oh I've seen this before in movies...
I'll say, I'm deprived like my mother-in-law would say...
That's all I got?
Let's go, it'll take a while.
There's zero chances it'll work!
You know they do that with gas? Oh god this taste like "Club Piscine!" [major pool store of the province]
Doing real well so far!
Don't know why I brought this... really bad idea.
That too I gotta say!
Pretty sure Jo didn't do any better!
it's gotta empty empty... dry?!
This isn't fun.
Ah shit.
It's all wet!
Not bad!
"For all your issues with H2O... Call Jo!"
Come see, it's alright!
Stop the time!
It's all dry!
Everything for the show!
Man I don't know... I bugged on "dry".
And then....
Oh yeah, uh?
It needed to be dry, you didn't stop, you kept hammering me with "let's go, undress!"—
—"c'mon take it off!"
That's another story...
Not it's not... it's uh... yes.
And you Jo, telling yourself "I'll empty this with a dusting pan!".
I never take baths.
That's it!
I don't know anything about it; I figured it was dust that was in!
I got you, Louis! I messed with you!
I think you had a good time, surely he got one!
What are the times?
Let's go see! Also I appreciate the work guys, it was impeccable.
Two good times... 2 minutes 50 seconds for Mathieu...
My god, this is awkward.
4 minutes 1 second for Jo.
Oh no... THIS is awkward.
Small hands are slower!
I dropped it.
But there's on left, like always, a little bit different than others.
Have you noticed?
He's "surprising".
Yes.
Oooh! It's cold... it's hot hot!
Maybe you could put on some Barry White?
Plenty of water, uh?
Hey... give him the trophy right now, we're done!
Can we... can I just see the picture again please?
Well of course!
Okay alright... thank you, thank you....
So, tell us about your relationship with the ball.
It's been a while since I last dreamed about being a bathtub...
Since I'm here, might as well announce that I'm the proud daddy of two little balloons!
Did you see one another again since then...?
We have images of the ball after your fling...
Looks sad!
Abandoned.
Ah... pool ball!
Must've felt used.
Must be disappointed.
Mehdi's time in all that?
2 minutes flat!
2 minutes is first and then Ève!
It's very good!
Mehdi will get five points.
Absolutely.
Ève four points.
Yes sir!
Christine, three points!
Good idea.
Mathieu, two points.
Hold on man, I was bare belly!
And last one, one point.
Now now, you're always bare belly!
Thank you Mehdi, we'll get our composure back—
after the break our comedians will do a final task right here in front of you!
Welcome back to Taskmaster...
We're now at the last task of the evening, to be done in front of your eyes.
Either amazed or appalled... depending...
Can you ask one of our contestants to read the task, Antoine?
Mathieu!
It'll take forever, he's nervous!
Inflate the biggest balloon, while being blindfolded.
You have 100 seconds, and only one balloon.
The biggest balloon wins.
You can cover your eyes...
Hold on, the safari man has a question.
Yeah... what do you do with the balloons after the show?
Alright, thanks.
Completely "into the balloons" now.
Cover your eyes, I repeat, you'll have 100 seconds after Antoine gives you the signal.
They're comming...
...To fill in the largest balloon.
After the 100 seconds...
I want it to be tied.
Will you count out loud?
It's gotta be tied, and no.
Why?
Trust yourselves, 100 seconds.
And if it pops it's over, this is the only one you get.
Man this isn't the first time I'll burst a balloon here... [saying for drinking past the legal limit]
Get ready...
Here we go!
Okay!
100 seconds.
Are they made to burst in our faces?
Is yours big?
Nope! I'm stopping! Stopping! Stopping!
It looks... It looks more and more like a BDSM evening...
40 seconds!
It's big now.
Gotta tie it!
Stop it!
10 seconds left!
5...
Stop it!!
3...
2...
Balloon needs to be tied, Christine!
Alright, it's over!!
It's over. It's over.
It's over...
Fucking shit, do you annoy me!
...needs to be tied.
It's not tied....
Okay so there's 3 balloons left.
We'll ask you to take your spots back please.
Thanks.
Everybody wins!!
No, Jo...
Can we see all of them side by side if you will...
We have all your faces there... turn it around c'mon!
I'm the bigger one!
For once it's a perk!
Okay alright, I'll assign points.
Five points to Christine.
Four points to Ève.
Three points to Mathieu.
Two points for Jo who's had his burst by someone...
And Mehdi, just one point.
It's a lot lot lot of emotions...
We'll go to the scores for the last time tonight.
So...
Jo, don't take it that way, you had no luck.
Ah... that's sad.
So with the points of the last task...
It's Christine who wins the episode!!
Thank you Louis!
Thank you for being here, join us next week when our comedians will fulfill more tasks...
Everybody wins!
Christine, you can go get your crap!
Everybody wins!!
Oh my...
Put this on please, put it on...
[Translation by r/panelshow, October 2022]