I cannot multitask!
- Take care, Mark. - Lasse.
- How tight are these pants! - Eww, how disgusting.
- Why?! - I can't anymore!
- It's damn draft beer. - Sure.
Good evening. Welcome to Stormester.
Like five hungry mice, my subjects sit week after week -
- trying to find loopholes for the next juicy five-point cheese.
Who does it well enough to deserve my praise? We will figure it out.
But they all deserve your applause. First of all: Linda P!
Simon Talbot!
Sofie Jo Kaufmanas!
Jonas Mogensen!
And Tobias Rahim!
Here I sit with you by my side, Mark le Fêvre.
Le Fêvre is French and means the dynamite fisherman. Isn't that right?
I'm pretty sure of that. In each program, a prize is at stake.
- Who's in charge of tonight's prize? - Linda P. herself
Uh!
What can one look forward to winning?
My psychologist said, "Now you're over 30, you need to throw out all your hats."
I did, but behind her and my own back I hid one.
And I would very much like to avert losing it.
Is it one you've really worn so it has that skin edge underneath?
It has self-tanning, sweat, and there's southern harbor tequila on the edge -
- which is when you sniff the salt, drink the tequila and squeeze the lemon in the eyes.
Mark, where are we going tonight?
Okay. It’s ...
This is going to be damn good.
We are talking party and drinks. It's going to be totally awesome.
Awesome!
- Hey Tobias. - Hi, Mark.
- Hi, Mark le Fender. - Hi Sofie.
- Hey, hey, Simon. - Hi, Mark. Oh no.
It does not seem like my kind of task.
There's a party going down.
Okay ...
"Make and name ..."
- What did it go up to? - 58.
"Make and name ..."
Should I read higher? "Make and name a nice and tasty cocktail."
I love cocktails.
"Do not make noise above 60 decibels at any time."
66.
- 69. - Piss.
70.
"If you get over 60 decibels, you must discard everything in the bucket and shout sorry."
"... in the bucket and shout, 'I'm a failure.'"
"You must discard everything in the bucket and shout, 'Shut up, Jonas!'"
"... and shout: Why?!"
Is that what you shout every morning when you look in the mirror?
- "Is this how I look?" - "At a volume exceeding 100 decibels."
Pardon! Pardon!
- Okay. It's loud. - "You have ten minutes."
"The nicest and most tasty wins."
- "Your time starts now." - Yes, damn good ...
It is impossible.
Whoops, there you were at 65.
- Shut up, Jonas! - 111.
Then we know I am capable of that.
You’re invited to a party, but of the quiet kind.
Can we repeat the rules?
Make a cocktail that is tasty and looks great.
It should be below 60 decibels. It's not very loud, Simon.
Should you go over that, you have to start all over again -
- but first shout your respective sentences. This must be shouted over 100 decibels.
Those are some peculiar rules.
Which quiet bartenders will we greet first?
We'll have Jonas, Linda and Sofie, who find these rules peculiarly funny.
- 72. - Sorry!
- 73. - Shut up, Jonas!
Just like that. This is very nice.
- Like that. “Africa's …” - It was above.
- Why?! - It was 99.
- Why?! - 99 again.
- You're lying now. - Specifically 99.8.
- Why?! - 112.
- 62. - Shut up, Jonas!
- 72. - Sorry!
- 62. - Shut up, Jonas!
But it did not specify that I have to write it on the board.
I name it egg-egg-cheep-cheep.
All right.
Well, okay ...
- Drop dead delicious. - Yes.
67.
Shut up, Jonas!
Uha ...
Jonas, could you take us through this recipe for a bucket of gin?
First you take the pink gin, then you take the clear gin, you throw them in a bucket -
- and add a little love and two ice cubes.
And then you force Mark to drink it.
Linda, you're making a drink called egg-egg-cheep-cheep.
It requires a little work from the person drinking it. What is the point of this cocktail?
It's what we know from childhood.
It's a slightly alternative eggnog. An egg, some cheep-sounds, a little schnapps -
- and then serve it to the kids before bedtime.
Mark tasted all the participants' drinks. How was egg-egg-cheep-cheep?
I can not for sure say it was related, but I had the runs that afternoon.
Among the first three bartenders, yours looks like a real drink, Sofie.
It's called a beautiful upbringing. Can you just take us through ...
How fancy.
Some of us did have a wonderful childhood, Linda.
Sure, it may not always be love -
- but schnapps on the pacifier demonstrates some sort of care. Isn't that right?
But it just seems that ten years in private school and a hot meal every night shouldn’t be despised, either.
Love in childhood is totally cracked.
People always enjoy watching the elite spit a little ...
Now we must move on. Egg-egg-cheep-cheep has won.
Who are we going to see now?
The bartender: Tobias Rahim.
- 62. - I'm a failure.
- It was only 98. - I'm a failure!
- 75. - I'm a failure.
- Not high enough. - I'm a failure!
- Still only 98. - I'm a failure, Mark!
Shut up, a humiliating affair.
- 74. - 74, okay.
- It was in Spanish. - You just do it.
Isn't there a hack to this?
- I throw a round of diarrhea on top. - 62.
- How will you get past the plastic? - With ingenuity.
It is the friendship drink of the southern Europeans for the northern Europeans. A vitamin pill.
Was it a goodie?
It was really delicious.
That I was a failure ... I only said it because I was pressured into it.
I've never felt that way. Yes, I have had doubts at times ...
But I have a huge winning feeling with this one.
I'll be going. See you.
Did you say something else? That it was Mark who was a big, fat failure?
- No. - You didn't think of that?
I said what they always said in school. That I was a failure.
But a valiant failure. The toughest failure you've ever seen.
I have this thing. I try to talk myself up every day.
- I stand in the mirror and then ... - I do too.
- We do not have the same mirror, but ... - What do you say then?
- "That's it."
I say, "It's not getting any better."
- Mark, how did Tobias' drink taste? - Sincerely good.
It had citrus, it had vanilla, and I'm not going to cross a 2 metres high man who just shouted "Soy un fracaso!" in my face.
- I think it was really good. - Thanks.
It's about being quiet, and we're missing Simon.
It could be a clip called: I've done it again.
Oh no. Yes, it's true.
- 80 - I've done it again!
75.
- It only came up to 99. - I've done it again!
You've done it again!
- 70. - I've done it again!
- 65. - I've done it again!
- 76. - I've done it again!
- 70. - No! I've done it again!
- 70. - I've done it again.
I've done it again!
I've done it again! I've done it...
... again! I've done it again!
- What is it called? - A proper feather on. [being quite tipsy]
A proper feather on.
64.
I've done it again!
- 80. - Yes, yes. I've done it again!
I can't ... why do you put bottles of booze -
- that one can not fucking open? I only have to make one drink, only one!
I've done it again. Everybody!
Did it again! I've done it again.
- 74. - Done again!
- We're done, right? - Yes, we are.
Oh God!
There is one question. You failed to get fruit in the blender -
- without getting over 60db. How the hell were you going to turn it on?
Well, my thought was:
If I got to make a delicious blended drink that exceeded -
- then I pour it into the bucket, take the bucket and make a drink from it.
The problem was that everything on the way to it -
- made the drink a little muddy.
Great to hear there was a plan.
One has to re-record "Cocktail", only with those scenes.
How did the drink taste according to Mark?
It tasted a lot like … Well, a lot like grapefruit cordial.
Which is connected to it being the only ingredient in the drink.
Egg-egg-cheep-cheep gets one-one point-point.
Cheesy!
Two points for Jonas. You poured gin into a bucket.
And really close to it. Simon pours a soft drink into a glass.
- It gets three points. - And olives.
Now it's really close.
I come to, for a beautiful and aesthetic expression -
- give top points to Tobias Rahim and thus four to Sofie.
What do you do after such a quiet party?
I feel like watching a task where you have to keep a balloon in the air. Do we have something like that?
Yes, but it was actually scheduled for program seven.
- Uh, yeah, wait. - I was good at that one!
It went well.
A yellow balloon?
Hi, Mark le Festivaltoilet.
I'm home at five o'clock.
I always have to tell my mom when I get home.
Should I shoot darts at you and avoid hitting the balloon?
What's up, Mark?
- May I open? - You sure may.
"Hold the balloon in the air."
"You can only touch the balloon by hitting it."
What?
"Each stroke must be made with a unique object."
- "10 minutes of preparation ..." - "You have one try."
"The task starts when you say ..." May I say it?
- You never know. - "Release the balloon."
- It wasn't me actually saying it. - No.
"Mark, let go of the balloon." No!
- "The balloon held for the longest time wins." - "Time starts now." This is fun.
10 minutes for preparation and one attempt.
So every time I hit it, I have to ...
I have to ... then it has to be a new object?
I just have to keep the balloon in the air.
Oh well...
What people can not see is that we do tasks all day long.
It's from 9 to 5, it’s a whole working day, damn it!
It's a simple task. A balloon must be held in the air.
Are there other rules, Mark?
You must only touch the balloon with a blow, which must be performed by a unique object.
Simple. Who should we see first?
All five of them in a clip that Simon Talbot will probably call:
"Simon and the fat idiots."
There are many options.
Either I'm an idiot that pulls out everything from the shed and strike with the different things.
Like that.
Either that, like a fat idiot.
Or is it to find a unique object? Something that is only one of.
And keep hitting.
I'm a unique object -
- so each blow to the balloon will be by the unique Tobias Rahim.
Okay. Leaf blower.
Let's have a look at this one.
Is it helium, Mark?
I never held a birthday party. I grew up in Jehovah's Witnesses, I don’t know how to tie balloons!
So!
I let go when you say:
Ah, why do I get so nervous? Fuck!
Okay. Mark, release the balloon.
No!
This is not going so well.
- Mark! - It's slippery.
Who should have seen it coming? A needle tree [a conifer].
Okay, stop!
What if it stayed there, right? Yes, yes.
The balloon is hanging there.
I'm feeling on top about this.
When are we going to the studio? Then we can stop the time at that point.
So if you just stay here and clock until we go to the studio. Hey!
Let go of the balloon!
- It's actually very nice. - It actually looks good.
I'm not a fat idiot, then.
Easy.
If this was the only clip from Stormester you saw, you would think: Simon Talbot is a genius.
If it was the only clip you saw, of course.
From now on I'm going to be so unbearable that people are zapping away.
We can start with Jonas and Sofie. Why do you go indoors where it is low-ceilinged?
- Wind conditions. - Yes.
Is it not against your own interest to go inside, then?
It was windy as hell that day.
- Not inside, Jonas. - That's why I went inside, Linda!
- It should be kept in the air. - Inside you can control it ...
It was blowing downwards!
When you see the program, you often think: “No, how stupid they are, they should have done it like that.”
I just want to hear you on this: Raise the paw if you had also gone inside.
There are three who raise their hand and they are all children.
No!
That's a teenager! And they have physics in school.
You sound very desperate, like a Jeppe Kofod, trying to convince yourself [scandalised politician]
Tobias, it seems like you are always calm under pressure. Here you say:
I am a unique object.
I will not discuss semantics with you. I accept it.
Tobias is a unique object.
Before we go to Linda and Simon. Can we get times on the first three?
Sofie held the balloon in the air for 18 seconds.
No!
Tobias, it succeeded for 20 seconds.
Yes.
Best of the three, but still pretty bad, is Jonas.
Yes!
25 seconds is what you managed.
You can keep the balloon in the air in other ways.
Leaf blower Linda, my problem is that the balloon needs to be kept in the air.
- It will be too. - No, it’s in the tree.
The air is also up in the tree.
Okay, now I would like to discuss semantics.
Let’s say you kick a ball up into a tree, -
- is it then up in the air or up in the tree?
I wouldn’t know, I was never invited to play ball games.
Oh, what a pity... that you have a good reason for a bad time.
- You will not be disqualified. - Well, that is great, I usually do.
We stop the clock the moment it’s the tree that holds the balloon.
- It's better than Jonas, isn't it? - Is it better than Jonas?
- It was 33 seconds. - Yes!
I've already praised you for looking like a genius.
But you tie helium balloons to the balloon without helium.
Did you expect to get away with it?
- Yes. - So do you. Yes you do.
- How are the points distributed? - One point for Sofie.
Two points for Tobias. Three points for Jonas.
Four points for Linda, and five points for Simon Talbot.
What shall we do now?
We are going to meet Inge and Steffen, who have been married for 55 years.
- They can celebrate their time together. - Not something I personally have much experience with.
Thank you for reminding me and... Let's see how the participants respond.
Good day.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi, Linda. - You look nicer than you usually do, Mark.
- Hi hi. - Hi hi.
How exciting. I will pitch into it.
"Make an affecting feature ..."
"... on the occasion of Inge and Steffens' ..."
- "... emerald wedding". - How many years is it?
- 55. - 55? Jesus Christ!
"You have 10 minutes to interview."
"Then you have eight weeks to prepare your features."
- "Most affecting feature wins." - "Time starts now."
Oh, my goodness. That requires a sip of coffee.
Oh boy.
Is there anything you would like me to highlight?
Nothing but what we have done in our lives.
Where did you meet each other?
We met each other on a student course.
There I catch sight of the most beautiful girl of the evening.
- I knew I should strike immediately. - Yes, yes, yes.
It is about making advances fast.
- So I asked her to dance. - Did you score?
I had a trump card in the back of my hand. I told her:
You have just the size to go into my house -
- without bending your head.
- So! - Okay.
- So. And that was my trump card. - Arh, there were a few other things as well.
- So that was enough. - "Hey, I live in a little house."
- Do you remember the address? - It must have been more than just that.
I served in the army special forces. At Aalborg Airport.
- You're a hunter soldier? - Yes.
That's it. Not the little house.
- Did you do anything extreme... - It was during the Cold War.
Moscow had the attack plans ready.
You are sweet, Steffen. But he talks a lot, right?
I really do not know.
- What were you thinking when you saw Steffen? - That he was a handsome guy.
- Do you have children? - Yes. We have two children.
- Favorite resort? - France.
- Are you happy? - Yes. I'll say that.
- Favorite food? - I like roast lamb.
And time's up.
I actually think I have what I need.
You seem totally sweet and lovely.
Thanks for the coffee and the talk.
- It's going to be good. - I think a lot of us are looking forward to it.
I can say that I am awfully excited for this.
But probably not as much as Inge and Steffen -
- who celebrate their emerald wedding with us here in the Glass Hall. Give them a hand.
They are present, but in the end it’s me you need to convince.
I judge based on what I think is the most affecting feature.
Precise!
- Who should impress us first? - We need to have some facts in place.
Inge has worked as a primary school teacher and as a prison chaplain.
Steffen has been a special force soldier as well as a pastor.
They have two children and a dog named Pjong.
Inge's favorite dish is roast lamb.
Speaking of lamb roast, let's take Sofie.
Inge and Steffen and all of your guests here. Thank you for having us tonight.
I had a great experience interviewing you.
I could not contain myself from meeting up with your lovely kids Charlotte and Thomas.
I'm just calling her Lotte.
Oops! I think...
You are welcome to turn it off. Just please turn it off, thank you!
We had a cosy time. It was nice.
And then I made your favorite, Inge.
The two of us have the very same favorite dish. And that’s roast lamb.
It is not an ordinary roast lamb, as you can see. Something is sticking up.
Well, the lamb is a "song hider". Here you go.
Please take them, and Inge, you can sit with your favorite dish in your lap.
The rest are welcome to find their song -
- because now we’re going to sing a little "company song" [personal song written for a special occasion].
We are going to sing "A party song for Inge and Steffen's emerald wedding", as I have named it.
On the melody "In a basement black as coal".
Dear Inge and Steffen, the day has finally arrived.
Huge party in the Glass Hall, that's just the thing.
We have to shout a loud hurrah for an old super couple.
Let's just toast before we have to bawl!
- Cheers! - Cheers!
- Then we move on, and a little faster perhaps. - But toasts are supposed to be after the third verse.
Well, what do you know, we have an expert with us tonight. We set the tempo and key up a bit.
Seminar at Høng Hotel. Monrad, he was the principal.
Talked everyone half to death, Steffen had to stretch himself.
Made a stunning sight. Thought: "She's not from town."
Cupid's arrow had hit him, there was only one way forward.
Inge went with Steffen home. Had to take the chance.
Saw him long as a friend, but then the romance hit.
Steffen in the lap of luxury. Inge fitted in his house.
One lovely piece of teacher brought down by a hunter.
Last verse!
55 great years. You can be proud.
That's not something many reach. Love lasted.
Dear Steffen, dear Inge. I can smell the top points.
Help a humble woman out, let me win this thing.
I have been to a lot of family gatherings.
Songs, written by people who know those who celebrate, have been inferior to this.
I do not think it was half bad.
Who has the next feature for the emerald couple?
It is Jonas Mogensen himself.
I cannot write songs. I have no talents.
But I have a dead grandfather.
When I smell risalamande I think of him straight away [Christmas dessert with one whole almond].
He taught me one Christmas Eve that one can sell oneself too expensive in this world.
I had too much risalamande on my plate.
I do not like risalamande at all.
No one does.
At least not my mother's.
Suddenly I feel something wet in my hand.
He leans in and says, "It's the almond."
I thought to myself, "I'm glad to hear that."
But he stays by my ear and says, "I sucked it clean."
Then he also adds, damn it, "You have to put it in your mouth."
"Otherwise, they will not believe it was you who got it."
I surely did, because it was my grandfather telling me so.
It's goddamn big, such a one.
It was not sucked completely clean.
My point is that every time I smell risalamande, I go through that experience again.
You were very fond of the wee house on Vester Hassing Hede, right?
I went out to Jægerhytten.
I just picked up some nature out there.
Then I damn well made a fragrance oil for you.
It is the distilled essence of Vester Hassing Hede. Does it smell good?
Hell no.
For all of us it is one hell of an awful smell. But for you it is a potpourri of memories flying through your head.
If it isn’t enough to evoke reminiscence of the past, then I have this board you can put up in your door at home -
- at the height you are used to. I think...
The combination of the oil and banging your head into this one will send you straight back.
Here you go. Be cautious with it. It's a little intense.
Here was the door board. Congratulations.
Very nice.
Two nice features. Who are we to experience now?
Linda P.
I have chosen to go a little deeper.
I could very well have written a song like: "You are also a pastor."
But I went the poetic and artistic path for once, instead of something vulgar.
I have actually chosen to separate the feature a bit.
- What does that mean? - Mark, will you lend me a hand?
It is a gift that needs to be displayed.
I would like to say to the music...
Dear partnership. At times you require different things.
I have written you a poem, sir, while your wife receives art.
A rose I saw slide off the exit.
However, look at my eyeballs, Fenris.
The moral is: Never slip in the eggshell -
- there is a train arriving on the tracks.
That was beautiful.
In a strong relationship, you accommodate each other's differences.
You may need two different things.
Without revealing to Steffen what Inge just got to enjoy, one can say -
- that it probably made you look back on your time as a prison chaplain.
It was three out of five features. What now?
I have prior referred to him as a stupid dog: Simon Talbot.
Yes... I have written a little speech for you.
But I will need some help.
One, two, three.
Dear Inge and Steffen.
How impressive you are. Hunter soldier and elementary school teacher.
A special force under extreme pressure and almost daily psychological torture -
- and Steffen was a hunter.
Inge, I have worked in both a nursery, kindergarten and SFO [after school care].
You are a greater hero than all hunter soldiers combined.
Explained in a military jargon that you understand, Steffen:
Children's temperament ignites without warning.
They are impossible to disarm, even after being fed fruit.
As if that was not wild enough, you both became pastors.
At Sorø in Munke Bjergby and Kirke Brandrup, just in the vicinity of Hogwarts.
Inge, as a prison chaplain, you told me -
- that you strike a blow for humor in a harsh environment.
In harsh environments it is good to make room for humor.
It warms my comedian heart.
I talked to the prison choir just before.
One of them said, "I only sold drugs for fun."
I should explain that they love Kim Larsen [popular long-established singer songwriter] -
- so I would have the choir humming Kim Larsen.
But there's something with copyrights and TV2 -
- so it's just "du — du — du — du".
And the real prison choir couldn’t make it.
They were a little busy being in jail.
To this day, you still love each other and life.
You go for walks with your labradoodle Pjong -
- named after a childhood dog.
I am so fond of the two of you. So once you're ready to replace him -
- I would like to step in as Pjong the third.
Thanks to the prison choir. Hardcore criminals.
It's nice to see that hardcore criminals can turn it around like that...
Tobias went out to buy drugs from them?
I think Tobias has noted that we're missing a feature. Thanks for the speech.
You are four participants who have put yourself in the saddle.
We are missing Tobias Rahim. He's getting ready out there.
This is Felix Diarra I play music with.
When I interviewed you, I was a little impressed. 55 years.
I got to ask you, "What about infidelity? Weren't you more large in your time?"
Then you Steffen said so beautifully:
"You can't control whether a bird lands on your head."
"But you can make sure it does not build a nest."
Inge looked so understanding.
I thought it was just magical. Then you gave me a little love letter -
- you wrote in that observatory when you were a soldier.
You asked if I could make it into a song.
My thoughts go to Inge.
They go back and forth.
They say bombs are coming, so I keep my eyes on Moscow.
Maybe a little bird lands on top of a soldier's head.
But as long as it does not build a nest, Inge-girl says it's okay.
That shit is love, it’s real, it’s honesty.
All that Inge-girl lives with -
- is love and tolerance.
Yes, it's just respect for the distance.
Would love to eat at home with you -
- but sometimes I end up on the station.
Such is the case with men on the go.
I'm in the military to fill up the bank -
- and give you a child and a house along the way.
More kids, bigger house along the way. Inge.
Inge, you are my angel. There is no one like Inge.
No, no, there's only Inge.
No one like Inge. No one like Inge.
There's no one like Inge.
Maybe we'll be lucky.
Maybe we'll be lucky to have grandchildren one day.
And watch love spread like rings in water.
Inge-girl, take my word. Will you take me again?
I will never go back.
But there is a ship from the Soviet Union approaching land.
I have to go back to my job. Kiss, kiss from your husband.
Kiss, kiss to Inge.
Inge, you are my angel. There is no one like Inge.
There is no one like Inge. Sing along.
Inge. Inge, you are my angel.
There is no one like Inge. There is no one like Inge.
No no.
Lasse is crying! Lasse is crying!
Lasse is crying!
Sitting here and remembering a time I chopped some onions.
It's so sweet you get touched.
Typically, I just think, "Shut up, how hot men are when they can do something."
It was so good, Tobias!
It's sweet that you're touched.
I asked you to talk to Steffen and Inge and get to know them -
- so you could make an affecting feature.
I decide what is the most affecting.
Let me just say, it is crowded in the front of the bus. You have made such an effort.
I don't want to place anyone at the bottom.
In a shared fourth place are Simon and Linda.
You get two points each.
Those were good features.
I recognise that a strong relationship requires accommodating each other's differences.
You reminded me of that. And you have dressed up like a dog.
When I invite guests to a party, I decline occasional songs.
Yours was fine and affecting. It gives three points.
The reason why Jonas Mogensen gets four points is...
Something that speaks to the senses and not so much to reason.
You sought out a place that means a lot to the two.
Tobias, you made me weep.
And now I start again.
From a fivefold, beautiful tribute to love, where are we going now, Mark?
To more of a boundary crossing task. We now know that Tobias can evoke strong emotions.
I can not rule out that it will happen again.
- Hi, Mark le Fênnikelfrø [fennel seed]. - Stop.
Stop.
- Oops! - Yes yes, yes yes, yes yes.
- You should not follow the system. - Boundaries are there to be broken.
- Do something "cross-border" [cross of borders or personal boundaries] - In ten seconds.
- Already I have ten ideas. - You have 20 minutes ...
- ... to prepare. - Biggest cross of boundaries wins.
If you violate TV2's guidelines ...
... you will be disqualified.
I could imagine it's somewhat long, that list.
- Time starts now. - Okay.
Ah, this can go so many ways.
Well, fun. Wow, how nice. 20 minutes and they're up and running.
Exciting.
Uh!
Although you may sometimes get the impression -
- that tasks are tailored to specific participants, this is not the case.
But there may be rules targeted towards a participant.
Linda, you must not exceed TV2's ...
No, but... Then do not call for me.
- How do we open? - With Simon, Jonas and then Linda.
It would be boundary-crossing if you took off your clothes -
- and hugged that one.
- What is boundary-crossing to you? - Cheese.
Okay...
I could go to Sweden.
Other bids?
- Nothing pops up. - It smells awful here.
- Well Mark, we need to have the task solved. - You've spent half of the time on nothing.
- Sweden? - Yes.
No ...
What would it take for you to say yes?
Nothing. I’m in a very fragile place in life.
- We just do it, Mark. - Do we just do it?
You toss the clothes voluntarily and go and share a hug with the cactus.
No ...
Eww, how disgusting it is.
Time is becoming critical, I can disclose.
- Ten seconds left. - This is it. Come on.
Down on the floor. Now we take off your clothes.
We start with the shoes here, and then we just have to ...
- Is it down? - Mm — mm ...
Now, it is.
Four, three... Hell, how tight these pants are.
You did it!
Ew, how disgusting it is!
Is it there? Ready to cross the border?
- Sweden! It can't be any more cross-border.
- Have you exceeded your limit? - Yes, you can believe that.
No, how disgusting!
Time out!
Then you have almost hugged it.
Shut up, I do not think you are particularly cooperative.
Simon, you're literally crossing a border.
Yes, completely. In addition, I had my hand on Mark's thigh...
Jonas, you're not just pretending not to like cheese.
No, I really do not like it.
I know it's nonsense, but hell...
It's nonsense because it's food, but it was so disgusting.
If I may add... I know Jonas and I know you don’t like cheese.
When you participate in this program, you can add things to your "writer".
It can be a bathtub with champagne, only yellow M&Ms ...
Jonas, you had two items. "Coffee."
The second was in capital letters.
"NO CHEESE AT LUNCH, THANK YOU."
- What a snob. - I'm actually a little embarrassed.
We mention that one must not exceed the guidelines, Linda, but it isn't as if you don't try.
No, but the clothes did not come off.
Because I do not have a fervent desire to see Mark's naked body.
How cool is that.
- Three boundaries. Who are we going to now? - Sofie, who has saved hers for the stage.
We will hear her tell a little about it.
There is this video where I dance because I took lessons in dance theater for a year.
No, well, okay. I'll just find this video... Or not. Should I show it?
I'll go get the phone. No, how ugly. Here it is.
And then ... Yes, then you have to choose ten crisp seconds.
- I'll find the best part. - Goodbye. Thanks for now.
You have attended a dance theater education.
Yes I have, Lasse. For one year I took lessons in dance theater.
And it's a clip?
Yes, filmed from a rehearsal where I'm just rehearsing some dance.
And it's... Oh, but I don't... You're going to... I just find it so embarrassing.
Maybe you'll think, "It wasn't that embarrassing". But it is, it is mega embarrassing.
- This is awful for me. - I think it will be mega embarrassing.
Do you want to press it yourself?
I hope you don't find it too intense.
Isn't it a part of what actors have to do? "Dance that you are a porridge", and stuff like that.
Yes, that is what I was dancing just there.
It's probably related to the fact that I was 22 years old and so pretentious.
Being like, “Could we not talk to each other, if one needs to tune into the right mood?”
I remember myself saying these things.
One could say, "I'm only at like 20% today, so I won't be giving that much of myself."
"So if anybody wants to talk to me, could you please give me a little wave or some other indication?"
- I have such a hard time with it. - It’s the opposite of doing stand-up.
If a stand-up comedian tries something sincerely, there will be a whole crowd of Lindas saying:
"Fuck you! Look, he's trying to be sincere."
It was four cross-border experiences. What now?
We've seen Tobias arouse great emotions, and I have to say…
There were certain things that awoke in me.
Is there anything specific you think is cross-border?
Yes, there are many things.
- Have you kissed a man? - Yes.
Have you?
No, not really.
- You'll be the first man I kiss. - I gathered that.
Cheers.
Tobias, damn it. Go ahead and kiss me, you fool.
Has ten seconds passed?
- It was really nice. - It felt natural.
I say thank you. It was a crossing of boundaries for me.
When I first said it... I was very tired that day.
It was the first thing that popped up. I could tell it didn’t mean much to Mark.
He comes from a rowdy beer culture, where they just kiss each other.
What?
He has tried it a thousand times. But I have not.
I have a much-loved grandmother.
Very conservative, religious woman from a small Kurdish village -
- who has probably turned in her grave. I hope she lies much better now.
But I had no problem with the kiss. Mark kissed really well.
You too.
Let's get points awarded. Linda, you were heading for a top notch performance -
- but you didn't manage to get the pants off Mark, so you get a single point.
It was the crossing of a border, but did you see the others, Simon? You get 2 points.
Sofie. I can tell it was cross-border for you.
But my children watch the program -
- and they should learn that it is never embarrassing to make an effort with something.
But I didn't make an effort?
Then we have the cheese hater Jonas Mogensen and the debut kisser Tobias Rahim.
4 points for Jonas and 5 for Tobias.
Mark le Fêvre, what does this mean for the overall position?
Tobias is in the lead.
But nothing is decided before the last task here on stage.
Tonight's final task is of the creative kind, Mark.
- Who should read the task aloud? - Jonas Mogensen.
I cannot read.
"Draw the animal on your card so the Stormester can identify it."
"You must draw three new lines in each round. The fastest guessed animal wins."
On your easel is a card with an animal. Draw three straight lines.
Each round you can put three lines and start drawing the animal.
- Linda has a huge advantage. - Why?
Because… three lines? She used to be a drug addict. It is very fun.
I'm a trained painter, I would just like to mention.
Three lines per round. A round lasts ten seconds. Are you ready?
The first ten seconds start now.
- So. - Yes, yes. But I, uh ...
I'm taking a quick walk through you. I guess for Linda's painting ...
Zebra.
That is ridiculous, if you knew what's on my card.
Then it's not a zebra. Snake at Simon's. No?
It's a cat, Sofie. No. That's a cat, Jonas.
- No. - It's a cat, Tobias.
- No. - Well, next round.
It has turned into a drinking glass and a pi has been added.
Linda has drawn some kind of swinger club for stick insects.
No, not a stick insect? Simon Talbot.
A shark? No, it's not, I can feel it.
Sofie, is that a tiger? No, it's not.
That's a gubby. It's a hen, Tobias.
Wow. It really is a hen.
- Who won tonight's program? - You have done more than kiss, Mark.
The wonder kisser: Tobias Rahim!
I could not have done this without you.
All that is left is to say one single thing.
As I once read, words of wisdom found in a fortune cookie -
- hidden under the farthest sofa cushion in a friend's home.
It said, "Thank you for tonight."