Good evening and welcome to Taskmaster!
Tonight, we'll find out which one of our regular contestants wins the whole season and gets this magnificent Taskmaster statue, –
a status symbol that you can confidently brag about to your friends and anyone you're half acquainted with.
But before that, we can still expect some tough tasks and entertainers' desperation. Fun to have you here!
Our four regular contestants are: Janne Kataja [*Comedian, magician]
Jukka Hildén [*Stunt performer, The Dudesons "Finnish Jackass"] Jenni Poikelus — [*Radio & TV personality]
Roni Back [*Youtuber].
And tonight competing with them is the master 'tuber Hjallis Harkimo. [*Businessman, sportsperson, (YouTuber), Finnish Parliament member]
And here next to me is the programme's cornerstone, the official referee Pilvi Hämäläinen.
Pilvi, it's the last hurrah. How has it been for you?
It's definitely been one great journey. I'm going to really miss you all.
And we've had some lovely memories and –
I do regret it that I haven't taken a lot of photos. I'll probably cry when I get home from here and –
I feel like I genuinely got to spend the best moments of like, the whole summer with you guys and –
When we were filming those tasks and... — Pilvi, should we move on?
Sure, let's move on.
Good. Before we go any further though, let's find out what we'll be competing for tonight.
And as we do, the first round of points are up for grabs. Pilvi, could you elaborate?
As the prize on every episode, we have various irreplaceable valuables and rarities —
which the contestants have brought from their own home collections.
This time you asked them to bring —
the thing that they're the most proud of.
— Oh. Did I now? — Yes. — From this lot?
Well I'm really looking forward to this. Let's start with Jenni.
What item are you the most proud of? — The thing I'm the most proud of is my phone.
It has been with me for years. And even though I rode my bike over it —
I've kept using it anyway, because it still does, it works.
Why throw away a good phone? You have to spare the environment.
Why buy technology for no good reason when you already have a functional device? — So you're still using it?
— No. — But instead... Why not?
So this one didn't have the portrait feature, so... I had to buy a new one.
(Jukka:) Well that really woke up our 'tuber as well. I'm talking about Hjallis.
Thanks for this, Jenni. Janne, what have you brought?
I brought this thingamajig which is from Hotelli Torni*. It's a wine dispenser. ['Hotel Tower' = hotel in central Helsinki, Finland's first electrified building (1931)]
Have you stolen it?
I haven't, but um, a very close relative from my children's mother's side.
Has stolen it?
So the thing is that if you put in white wine, the ice cubes would go here.
And it stays cool.
Thank you for this illuminating piece of information. Let's move on. Jukka, what did you bring?
[In laid-back sounding dialect:] Well you know how I'm extremely proud of being South Ostrobothnian*. [*= Region in Western Finland] So I'm from Härmä* [*=Small village in it] and...
This is um, a [trad. Ostrobothnian] ceremonial buckle belt. Bought from The Finnish Heritage Agency.
And so um, I left the puukko knives* to Jaakko's back but... [*Trad. Finnish knife. Ostrobothnian men would keep a pair of puukkos hanging from the belt. Finnish equivalent for "backstabbing" lit. means "stab in the back with a puukko", i.e that pair would be in Jaakko's back now]
But I wore this to the presidential palace* and... [*reference = on independence day, acclaimed Finns get invited to a televised ball at the palace, and evening wear is a central topic in the media]
So this means a lot to me and symbolizes that. — Excuse me Jukka, by presidential palace, do you actually mean the Tampere Hall?* [*in Tampere city, the largest Nordic concert and congress centre]
Yeah that's a fair correction, mister taskmaster.
Well, somewhere there anyway. — Right. (Hjallis:) Great.
— And as an Ostrobothnian, you're proud of that. — Extremely proud.
— And you, Jukka, are a "barefooted"* Helsinkian though. — Ha! Don't do this when the whole nation is watching! [*Barefooted = one who was born in a given town/city, and often still lives there (newborns = shoeless)]
But I have lived in Alahärmä!* [*smaller subregion of aforementioned Härmä]
— And bought a traditional buckle belt from a museum. — Yeah. And had this "Jussi tattoo"* made. [*pattern from a trad. Ostrobothnian men's sweater called 'Jussipaita', Jussi being a male first name]
(Jaakko:) As a result of some (lost) bet!
Thank you, Jukka. Hjallis, what did you bring? — So I didn't bring anything.
— Why not? — Because um, this single-handed sailboat* of mine, I couldn't bring the boat. [*Hjallis was the first Finn to sail around the world alone]
A: I don't own it, and B: it's too big for this place.
— These are the reasons? — Not quite, but almost.
The reason is that I forgot to bring a gift. We came up with this back in the green room.
— And you don't actually have this boat? — No I don't, but...
— But is even that photograph... — And you yourself... – Even that photograph isn't yours? – No.
— We made it for you, Hjallis! — Yeah, right, but –
you thought this was a fucking great idea back then. Why do you start coming down on it now?
Now that I realized how you presented it, I think this is a fucking terrible idea.
I'm starting to question whether you even sailed around the world. — Well that one you don't need to question.
— You sure? — Look, look carefully. — Good. Thank you, Hjallis.
Roni, what did you bring?
Speaking of being a Helsinkian —
I brought "the most positive Helsinkian 2019" prize.
— You've received that prize in 2019? — Pardon?
— You've received that prize in 2019? — Yes.
— And you're very proud of that prize, are you? — Yes. I would say so.
You're so proud that you decided to bring it in as the frivolous prize of a frivolous TV show?
And you're ready to let go of it? — Oh right. There's that. — Right. There's that.
Thank you, Roni. I'll give the points.
Janne, let's say um, as a wine lover, I'm impressed by that item of yours.
Five points. — Yes!
Whereas, sailing is an extremely boring hobby.
Who wants to go sit aslant in the cold and dark? Hjallis, zero points.
Especially because it wasn't yours. Even the idea wasn't yours.
– It was my own idea, you know. – Oh well, in that case! – And you swallowed the idea so come on, give me two points.
— Try just a little bit more. — Two!
— Two plus two? — Two plus two. — You'll get four points. — Thank you.
To all the rest, three points.
And so the winner of this episode gets to keep all these prizes —
and gets to go sailing with Hjallis. My condolences.
The race for points has begun. We'll move on to the first task at the mansion.
Look at all this stuff!
That's quite the collection of accessories.
What? "Accumulate 10 points as fast as possible."
"The first person to accumulate 10 points wins."
"Time starts now."
So... what are these points that I have to accumulate?
(Jukka:) I still don't get it. — Me neither.
So the task was to accumulate ten points as fast as possible.
So it's a quite easy and simple task if you just know how to get those points.
Yes. Well, first, let's see how Roni, Jenni and Hjallis managed.
— Ten points. — What do you mean "ten points"?
For fuck's sake.
— I'll ring a bell every time you earn a point. — Do I have to start playing chess?
Are there like, multiple ways to earn points?
Wow, that really blocked my ear.
Fucking hell.
Is there somewhere like, a hidden stash of points? [Finnish: 'point' and 'small dot' (such as a period) are the same word]
(Bell rings.) — Was that one point just now? — Yes.
Didn't get any more even though I'm playing chess.
I'll just do that...
(Bell rings.) Hey, I think I got one!
For this too?
What did I do? I didn't do anything.
This is an impossible task, it doesn't make any sense!
Flogging... a tea cup?
Point, whip...
Come on then, tell me what I have to do in order to start getting those points?
Do I have to eat these apples? No, that didn't get me a point either. (Bell rings.)
It did. Should I drink coffee? No.
I have no idea what I'm doing!
What are these, some fucking balloons. (Bell rings.)
I was blowing.
These objects, they have absolutely nothing to do with one another.
Aargh, my head is about to explode!
And one thing that's relevant to this now is that I'm like, pretty fucking annoyed for having come on this show.
That's like the stupidest of all these things.
There's like ten stupid things here on this table now.
Am I stupid? Couldn't you tell me that much?
Pilvi, supposedly all the contestants managed to accumulate 10 points.
How long did it take them?
Hjallis' time was 16 minutes.
Roni's time was 13 minutes, 39 seconds.
And Jenni's time was 10 minutes, 55 seconds. – Oh wow!
(Janne:) So you did get a result in the end.
— Hjallis, you managed to earn 10 points. Do you know what you got them for? — No.
I don't have the slightest clue. — Not the slightest clue? What were you thinking when you were doing that task?
What a shitty task it was.
— What made it a so called stinky task? — I didn't understand what it was about.
— Was that a surprise? — No.
But for me to have come and do this programme, that's what was a surprise.
And for us to have accepted you was a surprise too.
But well, we could keep thinking up all sorts of theories.
We'll continue with the tasks of Janne and Jukka in a moment –
but before that, we'll spend a break pondering how to get those points.
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
Before the break, Hjallis, Jenni and Roni tried to figure out —
how to get ten mystery points. To many, it still remained a riddle.
And now we're yet to see the performances of Janne and Jukka.
— Their footages have been merged to one package so we might as well watch them right away. – Excellent.
Ten points, accumulate 10 points.
So I'll get with something like, if I give you an apple – may I give the teacher an apple – and will I just get a point then?
One, two, three, four, five, six...
"How about...?"
Okay?
(Bell rings.) Good.
So um, I don't have to play, I got a point.
(mug goes clink.) A trick?
Did I get another point for that?
Well I'll just collect all of these then, one of each item.
Dense player, but...
(Bell rings.)
Ta-dah?
Oh fudge!
If I pump, will I get a point?
I'll pump all of them.
(Bell rings.)
Two points.
Look.
(Bell rings.)
I'm juggling with these. Was I supposed to juggle?
Now I'm completely lost at the sea, I've got no idea what this is about.
Janne and Jukka, you clearly took many good approaches —
to like, discovering these mystery points, but um, there was no clear execution, was there.
(Jukka:) But come on tell us already how those points were to be earned, 'cause... — I just might tell you soon, but –
could you first tell us what the times of these gentlemen were?
Yeah up until the performances of Janne and Jukka, Jenni's was the fastest, with 10 minutes 55 seconds.
And Janne's time was... 5 minutes, 52 seconds.
— No way! — Was it?
And Jukka's time was 4 minutes, 41 seconds.
But how you got those points was as clear as day to you all, wasn't it.
— Yeah, sure. — Jukka, I was just about to say, let's not reveal the basis of those points to the others.
Looks like a rather desperate bunch.
Look Pilvi, maybe we should reveal where those points came from. — Yeah, maybe the following compilation clears things up a bit.
Why didn't you give me a point then? (Bell rings.)
Right, so I've got... (Bell rings.)
Here? (Bell rings.)
Right, that's ten.
(Janne:) How many points?
So you got a point every time you touched your face.
But that was obvious to all of you, wasn't it.
I must say that I didn't get it even from this (video).
I was confused because some people were putting something into their mouths while others touched their noses. But I mean of course it's obvious now.
The stupidest thing that I've ever been involved with. Seriously.
No it's not, Hjallis. You're in the parliament, remember?
The points for this task are dealt as follows.
Jukka five points.
Janne four points, Jenni three points, —
Roni two points and Hjallis one point.
How are the total scores after this stupidest thing that Hjallis has ever been involved in?
The total scores after this stupidest thing that Hjallis has ever been involved in —
so the total scores at the moment are such that —
the person in the lead is... Janne.
(Jenni:) That's great!
(Janne:) Thank you! Thank you!
Before someone protests, and my bet is on Hjallis, let's head straight back to the mansion for the next task.
Right then...
"Open this jar of mayonnaise. You're not allowed to leave the room."
"The fastest to open the jar of mayonnaise wins."
"Time starts now."
So the task was to open a jar of mayonnaise as fast as possible.
But this one's a ridiculously easy task isn't it. Grab the jar with one hand and the lid with the other. Right?
Who's first? — First, let's see how Hjallis, Roni and Jenni did.
This is promising.
So this jar has to be opened? It's mayonnaise.
Right.
I love mayonnaise.
Ewww!
How does this...
But there's no way this could be opened.
Oh, I remember now.
Are you allowed to help me?
I'm just trying to keep my clothes clean.
(In the video:) Now I'll just remove...
Grab the lid with both hands.
The first one to put the referee to work.
Can I smash it against the floor?
It's not breaking.
So mayonnaise, which I love, ended up as my fate.
I think that's it. — Okay.
I don't think it's this one either. Hey...!
(Pilvi:) Time. — How?
Soon everything's gonna be covered in mayonnaise.
This is gonna be...
— Now, is it..? — There we go.
It's open. Thank you.
(Pilvi:) Thank you.
Roni, you were quite triumphant there when you finally managed to open that jar.
Yeah I was absolutely soaked in sweat. I mean I don't know how long I twisted it for but then, when it finally opened... Oh my, I was so elated.
— You gave yourself this rather erotic massage there... — Yeah! You've got to enjoy don't you.
(Jaakko:) Oh so Jenni that's what an erotic massage is like? — I was wondering about that too...
— A mayo massage. — So you're welcome on Saturday evenings, we'll watch a movie and rub in some mayo. Welcome!
— I'll have to keep that in mind for the next time, was it Tampere (city) where you are? – Yeah.
Hjallis think about it, you can sail around the world all by yourself, but you can't open a jar of mayonnaise when you're alone.
It's peculiar isn't it. — Jaakko, those are two completely different things.
Are they now? Was was the competition?
We're finding out all sorts of new things now. — Oh stop babbling, I did get it open.
But you didn't do it on your own.
— Who said that you'd have to do it alone? — No one.
— You're always fucking with me. — Would you still like to say something more? — Always!
You're the worst TV show host in the world!
Pilvi, what were their times?
Roni's time was 11 minutes, 10 seconds.
Yeah, um...
And Jenni's time – that is, the moment when she gave up on the task —
was 9 minutes, 15 seconds.
Roni, you didn't give up, so... — Oh, but we still have Janne and Jukka... Go on.
— I'll just tell you Hjallis' time. — It's of no interest to anyone, but...
Hjallis' time was —
3 minutes, 21 seconds.
– Not bad! – Well Jaakko, now you can say something positive.
Very good, Hjallis, very good!
— Thanks Jaakko! You're the best TV show host in the world! — Second best.
You know what Hjallis, now I know one scene that will definitely make the cut to this programme.
Yeah the others are gonna get cut out, I know.
So we're yet to see Jukka and Janne, right? What happens now?
— Should we take a break? — Let's do, let's take a break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
Before the break, we were trying to...
We were watching Hjallis, Jenni and Roni trying to open a jar of mayonnaise.
And Jenni didn't quite manage to open hers. We still have Janne and Jukka left.
Shall we watch both of their footages in one go? — Of course we shall.
Well that's what we'll do then.
— "The fastest to open the jar of mayonnaise wins." — "Time starts now."
So this was a competition, right.
Time.
Janne, it looked like this wasn't your first time coming to grips with a jar of mayonnaise.
Are you looking at me or that video now?
No, I just thought that you'd be the obvious favourite for this task, but...
But what intrigues me is that when you finally opened the jar, you rammed your hand in and smelled it, so...
What does that like, symbolize or mean?
Let's put it this way: I usually have this habit that whenever I manage to open a jar, I pop my hand in.
To smell whether it's gone off.
Have you ever seen a professional about it, to address this issue?
I used to be married once.
But then...
She worked in the field of nursing, you see, so she was told not to bring her work home.
— Jukka, you smelled your hand as well. Why? — And tasted. – Tasted. What for?
I don't know, I thought it was such alluringly fluffy mayonnaise. Slightly old.
Alluringly fluffy, and then you did "this".
Jenni, what were the times?
Thank you, Jorma.
Jukka's time... — Sorry, Pilvi.
I am sorry, Pilvi!
Hey it's alright, Sami. I'm gonna tell you now.
Oh, I just got my permission to retire! I'm off!
– Right, now just allow me... – Right, go on then Marja-Terttu*. [*Name assocated with older ladies, perhaps similar to "Hyacinth" in nuance, botanical as it is] — Alright I'll just tell the times of Timo and Pekka now.
(Jaakko:) Timon and Pumbaa. — (Janne:) Which one is Pumbaa?
— Pumbaa is the plumper one, so that would be Jukka. — Ah. Right.
Pumbaa Hildén's time was 19 seconds.
(Jenni:) What? What on earth?
And the jar master Timon, Janne Kataja —
did it in 11 seconds! — Yay!
(Sings:) "The stern drudge, or the stricken unemployed..." [*From a schlager song whose name translates to "If you try something (only the few are tough as iron)"]
(Song continues:) "Now many people wonder whether there's any point to anything..." — Stop it!
– What happened? – I don't know. — He managed to open a jar of mayonnaise.
I've been sticking to this mayonnaise diet at home, you see, so every time I open a jar, I do a little dance.
It burns calories. — Indeed. Janne, full five points, and –
others are scored according to their ranks.
Pilvi, how are the total scores? — Oh you want to know the total scores? – I do.
– Well I'm going to tell you. – Do.
On the scoreboard in the lead right now is, who else but...
Janne Kataja.
(Sings:*) "The stern drudge, or the stricken unemployed..." [*From a schlager song which translates to "If you try something (only the few are tough as iron)"]
(Song continues:) "Now many people wonder whether there's any point to anything..." [*From a schlager song which translates to "If you try something (only the few are tough as iron)"]
Janne, now you've had so much exercise that you can open another jar of mayonnaise.
Indeed. I wonder what my activity tracker says? I sold it.
My activity tracker says that it's time to move on. What's coming up next?
– Well next-* (babbles nonsense) [*meant to say "next up" but said "next in leakage"] – ...I'm learning to talk.
And at the mansion, it's time to unleash every contestant's inner artist.
Oh no, oh no, oh no....
"Paint the most accurate looking portrait of the person in the neighbouring room without seeing them."
"You may not look into the other room, and you may not leave this room."
"You can ask questions, to which the person can either answer yes or no."
"You have 15 minutes. Time starts now."
It's all the same whether or not I can see the person: I can't paint at all.
So the task was to paint a portrait of the person in the next room —
without seeing the person. — (Jaakko:) Hjallis was clearly very excited about this task.
I was wondering if you could borrow that Positive Person Of The Year award to him?
— Who's first? — Well let's see everyone's attempt in one go.
(Jaakko:) Excellent. — There we go, finally!
Hi! He's/she's so good.
— Do you have blue eyes? — (Famale voice:) Yes.
— I'm gonna nail all of these. Do you have brown hair? — Yes.
— (Roni:) Do you look like Jennifer Aniston? — No.
— Are you wearing glasses? — No.
— Um, are you wearing contact lenses? — Yes.
— Aah so you're bespectacled!* — Yes. [*Not a perfectly neutral Finnish word either but slightly less derogatory than 'four-eyes']
Do you have academic education? [*Not a perfectly neutral Finnish word either but slightly less derogatory than 'four-eyes']
[saying 'no' or just laughing = unclear] — What?
— No. — So you haven't finished your studies then.
— Are you um, an actress? — No.
— A business woman? — No.
Well what the hell are you then?
You have long hair, and then no parting.
What kind of hairstyle can it be then?
Do you look like a nut?* [*Literally, the edible kind]
— Are you naked? — No.
— Umm.. Are you married? — No.
— Are you a Miss Finland? — Are you a Miss Finland or something?
— Are you a Miss Finland? — Yes.
— I bet you're 1m 77cm. [5'10"] — Yes.
I knew it, all the Misses are that height.
— (Jenni:) Are you wearing eyeshadow? — Yes.
Is it lilac?
— Does color matter? — Yes.
Does size matter?
(Jukka laughing mischeviusly.)
— And are you single? — No.
I'll paint a black cloud in here.
This is quite therapeutic actually.
Is your boyfriend a radio presenter?
— Yes. — There we go...
— (Jenni:) Do you have any tattoos? — No.
I do know what that radio presenter looks like but I don't know what you look like.
Is this just a lack of common knowledge when I can't imagine (your face)? — Yes.
Yeah, right, I do agree with that.
Do you think of your mouth as being wider than average?
Yes.
It was very nice to meet you, and I'm very sorry.
[in a pseudo-accent:] Voilá! The artwork is complete.
— Thank you! — Yes.
— Right. It was nice to meet you. — Yes. – Suuuure...
By now you all probably know who was in that room.
She was the Miss Finland of 2017, Michaela Söderholm.
Welcome Michaela! — Oh nooo no way!
— Wonderful to have you here. You must be excited to see what these portraits look like. — Yes.
Oh I'm still doing this! – Still doing that!
— Would you please reveal the paintings. — Oh fuck no.
(Jaakko:) Jukka, show me the portrait!
(Jenni:) A spitting image!
Michaela, how do they look?
— I mean, they're great! Hjallis... — Wha.. What?
— You've got the wrong year. — I know.
Sure I know that now. I didn't know it then.
But I did get quite close. — (Jaakko:) Yeah, a year away. — Right!
I think the best part was "Yeah I know who you are but I don't know what you look like."
But Michaela, you can pick the best one of these, and that one gets five points.
And I'll score the rest.
I'll um, give the points over here this time. I think this is... — Yay!
Thank you!
So five points... Thank you, Michaela.
So five points to Jenni. — Yay, thank you!
Roni four points, —
Janne three points, Jukka two points and Hjallis... – Again!
Very good, if it just wasn't for the wrong year. One point.
(Roni:) Next time.
— Pilvi... (Jukka:) Fucking... (inaudible) — After this art exhibition, how are the scores?
The situation is such that right now the person in the lead is...
Janne.
(Jenni:) Good for you, Janne!
Michaela, a big thank you for making it to this art retreat of ours.
— Thank you! The pleasure was all mine. — Let's give a round of applause to Michaela.
Now we'll take a little break, and after that, among some other things, we'll find out who wins the whole season. See you soon.
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
Very soon, we'll find out who will be the one to win this episode and take all these treasured objects home.
And very soon, we'll also find out who wins the whole season —
and wins this highly prized Taskmaster statue.
But before that, the final task.
Contestants, brace yourselves.
Pilvi, would you tell us what the final task is about?
The final task is very compelling and offers plenty of warmth and intimacy.
Hjallis, please read the task aloud.
"Movement Now* is a party of the future..." [*Actual new political party of which Hjallis is one of the founding members]
— Can I just read this now? — You had the wrong glasses on, Hjallis.
"Shake the blindfolded taskmaster's hand."
"If the taskmaster doesn't recognize the person by their handshake, the contestant gets a point."
That's right. So the taskmaster puts on a blindfold —
and you go and shake his hand, one by one.
You'll have to try to shake the taskmaster's hand in such a way that he doesn't recognize whom he is shaking hands with.
If the taskmaster guesses wrong, the contestant gets a point.
I'll cue the turns by lightly tapping you on the shoulder.
Were you thinking of tapping from up there?
I was waiting for you to start putting on that blindfold.
I'll put the blindfold on now and I'm ready to have my hand shaken.
Umm...
Roni Back.
(Pilvi:) The next handshaker is...
(Thumps.)
Hjallis Harkimo.
(Pilvi:) The next handshaker is...
It was...
Janne Kataja.
(Janne mouthing:) What?!
(Pilvi:) The next handshaker is...
Now I can no longer remember who's left, but...
That's fine, you can name whomever you like. — Yeah. That was Jenni Poikelus.
The next handshaker is...
That was Hildén.
Those were some really frank and proper hand squeezes* but — [*casual Finnish for (often obligatory) handshake]
Pilvi, who were the ones that managed to deceive me and score a point?
Absolutely everyone except Jukka Hildén got a point.
I just somehow, I don't know how I...
I'll be washing my hands for three hours.
Anyhow, congratulations to all of you who managed to earn a point.
Now, what are the final scores for tonight?
After all the tasks, tonight's final state of affairs is such that the person with the highest score is...
Janne.
(Janne:) Thank you, thank you! Thank you!
Janne! Congratulations! You get to take all of those items, —
including the gadget of your wife's close relative. — Relative. Indeed.
The idea that I'm the most intrigued by is the one about breaking into the boat that isn't his. But um...
— I'll arrange it. — Thank you! — I have connections.
But Pilvi, my friend.
Which one of our regular contestants has managed to earn the highest score —
and therefore wins this golden Taskmaster trophy?
The person to accumulate the most points during this season was...
Jukka!
— Here's your prize! — Oh how lovely!
Jukka...
(Jaakko:) Congratulations! — Thank you, this is such a great honor!
Thanks to all of our contestants!
Thanks to all the viewers at home who joined us for this season —
This was Taskmaster.