Open up!
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
Where are all the rocks when you need them?
(Mikko K:) I feel so stupid doing this.
So this is payback time.
A very good evening to you! I'm Jaakko Saariluoma and this is Taskmaster.
Once again, we welcome you to join us and watch our five contestants try to deal with tasks —
which are like a Finnish house repiping project: Well planned, but full of unexpected surprises.
And I'll be the one to score their little "projects" completely righteously, in other words, quite capriciously.
Our regular contestants are Jenni Pääskysaari, — [*Radio/TV presenter, writer, journalist]
Anna-Maija Tuokko, [*Actress; film / TV / stage] Riku Rantala, — [*Journalist, presenter, known esp. from early 2000s backpacking adventure show Madventures]
Mikko Penttilä. [*Actor; comedy / improvisation]
And today competing with them —
is Mikko Kuoppala, known as the rap-artist Pyhimys. [= 'Saint']
And here next to me is a person who is like a steel police: [= casual term for 'traffic enforcement camera'] Stern and precise.
She's this show's official referee Pilvi Hämäläinen.
Thank you. And, according to my radar, I can report that some of the contestants have already wandered to the grey area when it comes to the rules.
And the others are just out of it in general. – Well, I can tell. Alright then, let's get to it.
It's time to find out what we'll be competing for tonight. What's at stake.
Pilvi, will you just remind us what this is about?
The prizes on this show consist of the contestants' personal belongings.
This time, what you asked them to bring was: The most impressive gift for a dentist.
Good. But before we start unpacking this, we happen to face this positive dilemma of two Mikkos.
And because Mikko Kuoppala is right there, we'll let you be Mikko. And because you are Mikko Penttilä, you can be Pentti Mikkola today. – Okay. [*Pentti and Mikko are both Finnish male names, Penttilä and Mikkola both surnames.]
So I'll call you Pentti and you'll be Mikko. Is that okay? – Yes. [*Pentti and Mikko are both Finnish male names, Penttilä and Mikkola both surnames.]
Good. Let's get started then. The most impressive gift for a dentist. Riku, let's start from you.
Yeah. So I brought a piece of traditional ayurvedic medicine, which is a kind of traditional Indian medicine:
Ayurvedic toothpaste. – A toothpaste? – Yes. As you well know, dentists always warn you, —
and quite rightly so, about the dangers of tobacco and snuff. They cause cancer, ruin the oral health and that's true —
but this toothpaste in itself is 100% tobacco.
I'm serious, that's all cig.
Have you used it? – I have.
– Did your dental supply box turn into a mess?* – Zero cavities. [*A play on a Finnish idiom that's actually quite hard to explain because it has several possible origins / interpretations. In this case it could translate to "have one's toolbox get out of order" and the idiom means "to have the runs". Jaakko has added "dento-" to the beginning of the word in the idiom, so the translation above is what I can only guess he was after.]
(Jaakko:) Congratulations. Thank you, Riku Rantala. [*A play on a Finnish idiom that's actually quite hard to explain because it has several possible origins / interpretations. In this case it could translate to "have one's toolbox get out of order" and the idiom means "to have the runs". Jaakko has added "dento-" to the beginning of the word in the idiom, so the translation above is what I can only guess he was after.]
Next, Anna-Maija. What's the most impressive gift for a dentist?
Well that would of course be ear defenders. – Ear defenders?
(Anna-Maija:) Yeah and they're pink. – Okay, could you-... - And a beautiful smile, of course. - Could you explain this a little bit?
You can put ear defenders on so you won't hear the patients grumbling.
I don't know what kind of dentist you visit, or does this say more about you as a patient?
Maybe.
Good. Thank you, Anna-Maija. – Thank you.
Next, Mikko. – So I also interpreted "most impressive" as what would have the most impact on the quality of work. [*The Finnish word for "impressive" literally means "effective"]
And I brought one of those um, multi-purpose... Whatchamacallit, a (gym) resistance band. – I see.
And um, the reason why this would specifically be one for a dentist is that it's the work ergonomics that make their work so tough. They have to lean over the patient like this, so...
This is multi-purpose also in the sense that you can put it around your neck, attach the other end to the ceiling and there, just like...
(Pentti:) It lifts you back up automatically. (Mikko K:) Yeah it's really good for your back too. (Anna-Maija:) Okaaay?
(Jaakko:) So um, when the dentist leans forward, they would resist with their abs just a little bit —
but then they wouldn't need to use their back muscles, because... – Yeah, or actually any muscles at all.
(Anna-Maija:) After that. – Yeah.
You've really thought about the dentist there, haven't you. Thank you. Thanks for this.
And next, Pentti. Pentti, what did you bring? – I brought a package of a decade old —
very fine and rare Scottish malt beverage.
Ah. So is this like, a brewed malt beverage? – Yes, it's distilled. Brewed and then distilled.
So what makes it impressive? – Well, those um, those tubes that contain the liquid in question —
there's only tw... twelve... thousand of them in the whole world. Which isn't a lot, considering the fact that —
Scotland produces 14,1 billion units of those bottles per year.
Mikko, are you sure that your dentist approves of this? – Yes.
He's the one who recommended it to me.
Mik- Pentti. To this, all I can really say is: bada bing bada boom. [*expression popularised by movie The Godfather]
And next up, Jenni. – I mean these were all very nice and all, but I happen to truly know —
what dentists appreciate, so... – What's that? – I brought a piece of jewelry.
Okay, wow. Thanks. It's got some thread inside.
And not just any thread, but dental floss. [*literally: "tooth thread"] – So you just brought a dentist some dental floss?
And not just any dental floss, but *used* dental floss.
(Jaakko:) Thank you.
Thank you, Jenni Pääskysaari. I should score these now.
I'm going to score them as follows. The most impressive gift for a dentist, uh... Anna-Maija 5 points, —
Mikko 4 points, and everyone else 3 points.
So the winner gets to take all these items home, including the jewelry box. Congratulations.
And the one to accumulate the highest score of the whole season is going to get this, the noblest of statues:
The golden Taskmaster statue.
But now that we've set the ball rolling, it's time to head to the mansion and check out the first task.
So now we're gonna get weighed?
"Get both of these two scales to display the weight of exactly 27.06 kg." [*about 4.26 stone]
"The fastest to achieve the targeted weight is the winner.
"You have 10 minutes."
"The time starts now."
So the objective was to get —
the readings of the two scales to be exactly 27.06 kg.
Excellent. Who's first?
Let's start with the performances of Anna-Maija, Pentti and Jenni.
(Mikko P:) Let's see what we've got. (Jenni:) See you in a bit.
(Anna-Maija:) To the shed!
Luckily I've just been hiking recently. So I have an idea of what 30-ish kilos feels like.
I'll take these because these can hold anything.
I'm thinking about my next moves.
I'll check how much this is.
That's 10.
You have 5 minutes left. (Mikko P:) Yeah, yeah.
(Pilvi:) You have 5 minutes left. – 5 minutes, that's halfway.
(Jenni:) Yeah right, of course, the tap wasn't open.
(Jenni:) Sorry about that.
(Anna-Maija:) What would be heavy?
(Pilvi:) One minute left!
(Mikko P:) Eh, that rock is too heavy.
(Mikko P:) I'll stick to my interpretation that the readings on these scales —
refer to how much is on them, in total.
30 seconds.
(Pilvi:) Ten seconds!
Ten, nine...
26.62! Off just a little bit.
Time's up.
I think that went really well.
(Pilvi:) Time's up.
(Mikko P:) Ruined!
Pilvi, how did this look, like, from a referee's viewpoint?
Well, unfortunately it looked exactly as in the footage just there: None of the three were successful, —
although Anna-Maija and Jenni came very close. – Very close.
Very. Jenni used this sort of, good old "I'll just lean on the scales" trick. Is it an old Korsoan trick — [*Korso = infamous district outside of Helsinki]
or wouldn't people normally try to trick the scales to display a lower instead of higher value?
I thought I'd use every trick I've got up my sleeve, but instantly when I saw that footage, I felt bad. Cheating's no good.
Pentti. Were you under the impression that you'd have to get the scales to, like, display a *total* of 27...?
Yeah that's how I decided to take the task. – Right, you decided to interpret it that way.
That's how I interpreted it. (Jaakko:) Was it worth it, do you think?
Well... Based on how I'm interpreting your attitude towards all of this now, I would say no.
And you are indeed interpreting that correctly. – Well there you go. – Congrats for that.
This time I interpreted right, and back there, a bit wrong.
Yes. But now we still haven't seen the performances of Mikko and Riku.
And I'm excited to see them, but I'll have to wait, because we'll have to give room for some commercials now. See you soon.
Welcome back, this is Taskmaster.
Before the break, we saw how Jenni, Pentti and Anna-Maija —
tried to load some scales with 27.06 kilos worth of stuff, but failed to do so.
We're yet to weigh the results of Mikko and Riku. – And we'll get to see their footages in one go.
Now. This is great. Right, let's get collecting.
(Mikko K:) And there was a shed of some kind, wasn't there, one where we can um, look for stuff. 27 kilos 6 grams.
We're in the middle of filming, and when filming, we use these sandbags —
to keep the lighting tripods safe and stable to be around.
And because I don't care about health and safety at all, I only care about my own drive to win, I'm going to start with these. They are stable weights.
That's pretty good!
This is 10 litres, 10 kilos. Cool stuff.
I can remember back in the day in Malminkartano [*area in Helsinki] the kilju buckets, they were pretty much this size. [*Kilju = Low-quality home made alcoholic drink only drunk for its alcohol content, and legalised only recently.]
This looks just like one of Valentin Kononen's, like, training methods. [*The most successful Finnish racewalking medalist of all time]
Makes your pelvis do some work! This is exactly 27.6. Wasn't.
Where are all the rocks when you need them? Surely there's always rocks in a swidden.
This is-, now I understand the point of chessboxing: You can't think. Your brain doesn't work.
(Mikko K:) Is there any spillage?
My tactic is to get some rocks —
and then I'll use some sand or similar to finish it right.
And there's no water source anywhere closer, is there. Or at least you're not telling.
(Pilvi:) You have 3 minutes left.
Oh look, weirdly it's somehow affecting both of them. We're close now.
We're close now! Look, look!
Ha haa! 27.06! And 8 grams of stones on that one. Yes! (Does a fanfare whistle)
If this isn't enough then I'll give up. This isn't enough. Is it going to...
04, 06. That's a fact. And just a little bit...
(Mikko K:) Oh no, it's... (inaudible) (Pilvi:) Thirty seconds left.
27.06, oh yes.
It's 27.06 now! Look, oh hang on, its about my stability now.
(Riku:) Ta-dah! You see? (Pilvi:) Indeed.
Riku Rantala, if anyone suspects your stability, that's been proven with two scales now, —
but would you say that every time you start doing some really precise work, you must switch to Turku* dialect? [*Finland's 3rd largest urban region and former capital city]
I have no idea what happened there but um, maybe... – Neither do we, we want you to try and explain that!
(In dialect, sounding easygoing and fun:) Turkuans are such stoneworkers, all of them. A Turkuan has this stoneworker's way of speaking, singer's muscles.
(Jaakko:) Quite. What's a "singer's muscle"? – It's when you have no muscles at all. I mean, look.
Right. Which reminds me: Mikko, if it's true that you have singer's muscles, —
then um, here you used water as the element that made all the difference.
You brought it in from a long distance away, running past the tap on the yard four times. Was this a conscious decision?
Uh well I think so. Actually it's only now that I noticed that it existed. That is, a second tap. But I made it on time.
Yes, and the final result was exactly 27.06. Congratulations.
Pilvi, what were the results if we also consider their times?
Right. Mikko's time was 9 minutes 50 seconds —
and Riku's was 6 minutes 43 seconds.
Not bad, not bad. – Having some history as a docker really shows. A shoutout to everyone at the Helsinki harbour!
So the points go as follows: Riku 5, Mikko 4, and everyone else gets 2 points for a nice try.
(Pentti:) Lovely to hear. (Anna-Maija:) I was so close! I was so close!
How close were you, like, actually? – I mean I was only somewhere like, a kilo... Somewhere in the ballpark.
How much is that approximately, percentage-wise? – Well...
We don't have time for this, to calculate it. – I cheated a little bit and got the same score as him.
I don't think that's quite right. (Anna-Maija:) Yeah, not fair. (Jenni:) You may have to take off one point from me. – Okay you cheated and got the same as him, so I'll give you 3 points.
But it didn't say anything about that. It wasn't forbidden, it only said that you had to get that reading. – That's true.
I'm the taskmaster, I can do anything I want. Anyone else want more points?
What, but what did I learn from this? A little bit of cheating is good!
But look, there's still more points to be had. So let's go to the mansion and check out the next task.
...your general being so much, that I think I'll screw this all up just because of that.
"Guess the contents of this briefcase, or try to open the briefcase."
"The first one to accurately report the briefcase's contents to Pilvi, wins."
"The briefcase may not leave this room —
and you may not manipulate it in any way."
"The time starts now."
So the objective was to either guess the contents of the briefcase that was on the table —
or try to open the briefcase's combination locks.
They weren't allowed to manipulate or damage the briefcase in any way.
No, absolutely not, because its contents were extremely valuable to me.
Who's first? – Let's start with Mikko and Jenni.
(Sound of something rolling.)
"Manipulate" is a tricky word isn't it.
'Cause I haven't... really done anything else during my career, have I.
I bet there's always some trickery going on somewhere. This is just a part of the desk, I may have just broken something.
(Mikko K:) I feel so stupid doing this.
(Mikko K:) Nah, there's not... Oh, there! Right, 010, let's try one first.
(Mikko K:) And I'll just assume that they're different codes.
(Jenni:) What's that?
"Tomato sauce for lasagna." I don't know where it would be.
There's a fag. I wasn't supposed to find those, was I.
(Jenni:) Really careless cleaning.
(Mikko K:) I don't understand anything. Can I take a look in here?
I'm glad you guys got some exercise as well.
So now I can report that this contains...
104.
I'll tell you, the contents are...
(Anna-Maija:) Oh well.
Jenni. You were a Sherlock Holmes of sorts.
How proud were you when, besides the actual hints, you'd found a shopping list, a carnival decoration, and a cigarette box?
Well I don't know, I do home visits too. If needed. People always lose all sorts of stuff —
so if those were lost, we've got them here. – Private detective Pääskysaari.
Uh-huh. I'm not good, but I'm not cheap either.
Mikko, you even looked into the firebox. What were you expecting to find there?
Numbers. Because that's what I was looking for.
(Jaakko:) Did you find any in there? – No.
(Jaakko:) Pilvi, what were the results? – Jenni's time was 11 minutes 18 seconds —
and Mikko's time was 6 minutes 51 seconds.
That wasn't so bad. But I suppose I did sweat it again.
Great performances there. We still haven't seen the performances of Riku, Anna-Maija and Pentti. But we'll see them right after the following break.
(Anna-Maija:) I can't wait.
Welcome back, this is Taskmaster.
Before the break, we saw how Mikko and Jenni were trying to figure out the contents of a mysterious briefcase.
We still haven't seen the performances of Riku, Anna-Maija and Pentti, nor the contents of the actual briefacase.
And we'll see them all in one go now, like this. – Excellent.
Well, first I'll just have a little go. And it won't open up.
What's Jaakko's birth year? 1951.
(The sound of something rolling.)
Sand? Gravel? Stones?
There's something familiar about it.
It's like, some kind of mass. Could they be peas? Could they be peas, dry p-, no...?
You just said the correct answer. – Ha!
Open up!
So, what? Okay? Something's coming out.
(Impatient vocalising followed by a cunning expression of recognition.)
Peas.
It's not a spice either.
Could there be a hint somewhere? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
Ooooh!
I propose that you could give me some more challenging ones too. If you feel like it.
(Anna-Maija:) Zero, one...
It's peas! Wohoo! Peas! – Time. – Yes.
Uh... Thanks for these performances. Anna-Maija, it said not to manipulate the briefcase —
but was "if I violently pull it apart just a little bit", not a form of manipulation then?
No but I took a peek. Just really tenderly, I took a peek.
Yeah, your jaws were like: hnngg!
Riku. It really didn't take you long to tell that there were peas inside.
Do you have a habit of carrying peas in a briefcase like that, or why was that?
So of course I always carry a blowpipe in my breast pocket and dry peas in the other, and then (pf pf pf pf pf....)
(Anna-Maija:) Go for it. – In case of a sudden enemy encounter. – Enemy indeed. – Precisely.
And Pentti, you solved it by tasting. Have you asked around for a job in a customs office? – Yes, I have.
Or I mean, I have actually worked in the Tornio-Haparanda customs as a taster, and back in the day, that's where I... the taste buds. [*The most well known Finnish-Swedish border crossing. Finns go after snuff, or cheaper booze, cigarettes, and candy.]
(Jaakko:) Right, and I know no one would dare to go there anymore if they knew that you work there.
That's why everyone just drives straight through these days. – 'Cause you never know if Pentti is at work. – Yup.
Pilvi, what were the results? – The times were:
Anna-Maija 6 minutes 55 seconds, —
Pentti 2 minutes 16 seconds — – Oh wow!
and Riku 1 minute 2 seconds.
The points for this go as follows: Riku 5 points, Pentti 4 points, —
and everyone else, according to their times.
(Mikko K:) I don't remember if I was faster than you.
(Jaakko:) Pilvi. (Pilvi:) Mm, Jaakko.
Who's that? – I'm sorry, mister taskmaster!
What did mister taskmaster want to ask?
What are the overall scores at the moment?
After a little bit of adding things up, the one in the lead is Riku.
(Riku:) That'll do, that'll do. – That was so great.
We'll head to the mansion because there's more points to be had. Next task!
(Jenni:) Hi. – Hi.
That's a nice arrangement, isn't it.
"Come up with the most unpredictable task for the taskmaster."
"In the task, you must involve the items on the table in way or another."
"The taskmaster expects the task to be witt..."
"...witty and elegant."
"You have 15 minutes. The time starts now."
So the objective was to come up with a task for the taskmaster.
In it, they had to somehow involve —
a pickle, a flower pot, and shoelaces in the task.
Also, the task had to be elegant and witty by nature.
Just like all my tasks tend to be.
I just wanted to give them a chance to experience what it feels like to come up with these tasks.
(Jaakko:) Ah, I'm so looking forward to this one! Who's first?
First, let's see how they all prepared for their tasks.
Oh goodness me.
I mean it's quite interesting, that pickle, because right now all I can think about is the pair of Pickle Rick boxers that I've got on.
Well now I can't think of anything else either.
What's elegant about a pickle?
Is it a Russian or a regular one, by the way? [*With spices, or salted only]
In a way, elegance is... I mean a pickle makes you think of Russia, and...
Five o'clock tea, that's very elegant isn't it. English style.
This is like, payback time. So I could just pour everything into this.
This could be a drum, couldn't it.
(Piano sounds out of tune.)
(Mikko K:) Tune the piano with a pickle. That's unexpected, at least.
(Whispering:) Oh yes. Yes! YES!
I really feel the fear in my rear end all of a sudden. But that's alright, this will do.
And then something like, "looking forward to the chim.... chiming".
Your very sociable company and your talkativeness, —
in a way, it elevates me to perform better as well —
but perhaps this once, if you just could, for a bit... Thank you. Nothing personal!
Okay, yes, right, good.
I should be direct about what to do with each item, —
none of that red herring dilly-dallying that you're always doing here.
Kalinka, kalinka kalinka moya, haa! [*Well known Russian folk song, also used as Tetris theme]
Damn this felt good. This felt so good!
Jenni, could you just specify, what exactly was it that felt SO good?
I did actually say it there but they didn't squeeze it all in, as this whole hour wouldn't have been enough to cover my outpouring about —
how irritating these tasks can be sometimes.
And I thought I'd get it all out. For example, I said I really hate being in a hurry. Absolutely hate it.
Yet, in every task: (annoyingly:) "the time starts now".
So I got to put all of that down on that paper. It felt so good.
Oh I'm so excited to see these. And especially your task, Jenni.
So um... Who's first?
First, let's see the tasks of Jenni, Pentti and Anna-Maija.
"Construct the most elegant cowbell by using the items under the box."
"Come up with a very funny, and witty, and elegant stand up comedy routine —
where you mention the following things: Shoelace, pickle, —
flower pot..."
"Travel to England. Arrange yourself to enjoy the five o'clock tea with the queen."
"...sausage, Pilvi, and egg." [*Pilvi means cloud, but it's also common slang for a marijuana joint]
"Use the pickle to make teacakes. The tea must be drunk from the flower pot."
"Distract or knock out the queen by using the shoelace, —
use a glass to break into the vault, steal the crown, —
and bring it into the studio, displayed in the plexiglas box."
"You can use your wit and shrewdness to do the task."
"Use of accessories is also allowed, as long as you stay within the yard."
"Looking forward to your clunks!"
"You have 30 seconds to come up with the routine."
Not sure if the queen will agree to drink tea from a flower pot. You're gonna have to involve a little bit of trickery there too.
Anna-Maija. Can you promise me that from now on and for the rest of your life, you end every letter you write —
with "looking forward to your clunks"? – Clu-, "looking forward to your cheerful clunks".
What is a clunk? – Well it's the clunk that comes from, the cowbell, the sound. It goes like, "klo-gong!"
Thank you. Pentti. So um, it was tactful but would you say that the difficulty level was just a tad too high?
Well I thought, if you're the one to carry out the task, then not at all —
because surely you can nail it.
And can you show me your tongue just a little bit, please? Ah, now I see. [*Finnish equivalent of "brown-nosing" is literally "to lick someone's arse"]
Jenni. You gave 30 seconds for doing the task. You of all people, while complaining about the hurry. – Exactly. Exactly!
Good, I'll start thinking about these tasks in a completely new way if that's a generous amount of time, so... – Right.
Thank you all, these were some brilliant tasks. We still have the tasks of Mikko and Riku left.
And we will see them... But we're gonna have to wait just a tiny bit! We'll go for a short break, see you soon.
Welcome back. Before we went on a short break, we saw —
what kind of taskmasterly tasks Jenni, Pentti and Anna-Maija devised.
And we're yet to see the drafts of Mikko and Riku.
And we're gonna check out their drafts now.
"Under the flower pot, —
you will find one of the crown jewels of Russian cuisine: the pickle."
"Eat the pickle in the most elegant way possible —
while quoting a classic work of Russian culture, —
such as Dostoevsky, folk music, or traditional dance."
"You may not touch the flower pot. You may not manipulate the table —
nor anyone else of course, because that sort of thing is rude. You may use the shoelace, —
because this show was made with a shoelace budget."* [*Figure of speech meaning "cheap production"]
"Use the pickle, the flower pot —
and the shoelace to make a decorative arrangement —
and explain this traditonal gift's history and symbolic meaning —
to Pilvi, as plausibly as possible. ... You have three weeks. The time starts now."
(Jenni:) That would be a great task to do. I'd love that one!
Mikko, do you think three weeks would be enough? I mean, the arrangement was quite challenging after all.
I was just thinking, because this is the only episode that I'm in... So despite of that, it contained some of the same familiar passive-aggressive revenge mentality.
Pilvi has to just listen to it with a straight face for three weeks. There, you deserve it!
I'm scoring these by considering the elegance and wit —
so everyone gets 4 points for this now.
Pilvi, at this point I must ask what the total scores are, so who's in the lead now?
Right now leading on the scoreboard is... Riku.
But the game definitely isn't over yet, because now it's time for the final task.
Pilvi, will you remind us what the final task is?
The final task has several layers, to say the least. Mikko, please read the task aloud. ø362
"Use the pickle, the flower pot and the shoelace to make a decorative arrangement —
and explain its history and symbolic meaning in the most plausible way possible."
"There's a chance of extra points for the following added words: Sausage, Pilvi*, - [*Pilvi means cloud, but it's also common slang for a marijuana joint]
egg, and queen of England."
"You may not manipulate the table nor anybody else, of course."
"You have 60 seconds to build the arrangement. The best overall performance wins. Looking forward to your clunks!"
Excellent. Get ready.
Dear friends! As the old saying goes: What goes around comes to be a part of your task.
Are you ready? Your preparation time starts now.
What a... What a lame idea.
(Mikko K:) Are we past the 30 second mark?
Time's up.
Good. So let's start unpacking this... This thing. Jenni, go ahead.
Today, we have a very unique opportunity here at the taskmaster's treasure workshop.
My name is Denzel Washington, and the episode is called Squeaks 'n Creaks. [*A play on a Finnish antique evaluation show "Antiques, Antiques"]
And today we have a unique opportunity to get to know a very remarkable object, —
which is, the rehearsal crown for queen Elizabeth's coronation.
And as you can all remember, queen Elizabeth was very young when she was crowned —
and among the courtiers, there was a lot of concern that the new queen simply couldn't stay focused on the coronation.
So they tried to come up with something that would make her concentrate. And that's when they thought...
Let's make her this rehearsal crown —
and then someone suggested: Let's put something on it that the queen likes, so she can maintain her focus.
And that's why they attached a pickle on it. Well, when the queen was then seen with this crown on her head, —
um, by that point the people definitely thought that queen Elizabeth was pretty stoned, so... that's our new queen now. [*stoned = literally: "in a cloud"]
(Jaakko:) Thank you.
And next, Pentti, go ahead.
This artifact that bears distant resemblance to a cowbell —
umm, is the so-called "egg sausage bell", which during World War II was used —
to attract the drunken Winston Churchill to come back for lunch —
when he mucked around on various meadows watching the clouds in the sky.
So from her bunker, the queen would then ring this... this bell —
which instead of a regular bell clapper would employ a pickle so the nazis wouldn't hear...
...wouldn't hear where the bell was being dinged. But the egg sausage bell would indeed be dinging there.
Thank you, Pentti. – Thanks you.
And next, Mikko, go ahead.
Right, so Jenni was pretty much on the right track there and, and um...
But this isn't the original story of why this became the rehearsal crown, —
because already back in the year of the sausage,* the queen of England Elizabeth the first — [*Year of the sausage = Some unspecific long bygone time. Many variations of this exist, and any simple and primitive object can be used instead of sausage.]
had forgotten her crown somewhere while stoned. [*Year of the sausage = Some unspecific long bygone time. Many variations of this exist, and any simple and primitive object can be used instead of sausage.]
But nevertheless, in Buckingham palace she wanted to have a boiled egg for breakfast.
So she went ahead and improvised, and took... to hell with an orchid or something —
and put it on her head. She put this on and no one noticed a thing, and she got the egg.
And it's only from moment on, when this started being used as a rehearsal crown. So this is the original and true story for this. – Thank you. (Jenni:) Sure, sure.
Thanks Mikko. And next, Anna-Maija, go ahead.
And this one is a valuable item sent to the taskmaster straight from the Hermitage.* [*Museum of art and culture in St. Petersburg, Russia]
And back in her day, this clunking bell was sent by Eliz- the queen of England Elizabeth the first, —
to the Russian tsar Pilvi III* [*not a real tsar] as a gesture of peace.
And um, when you clunked this bell, it gave good fortune —
so uhh umm, for raising livestock, so you would get meat and could make delicious sausages —
and like, uhh, also sort of um, fertile vigor to chickens —
so they would lay more eggs. – Thank you.
And then there's Riku, go ahead. (Anna-Maija:) Looking forwards to the clunks!
So mine is actually a piece of modern art.
And it's called "Gloomy cloud/Pilvi darkens the day of Mr. Pickles".
It has certain history behind it. Even though it's modern art, it's actually based on a very old story.
The queen of England, the queen of England at the time Mary Stuart, or "Bloody Mary", uhh... —
gave the final sentence to Mr. Pickles —
who had been caught stealing a sausage and an egg.
And so Mr. Pickles was hanged in the break of dawn.
And the symbolic meaning of this is actually rather simple: Do not steal.
Do not steal a sausage, nor an egg. And you can probably figure out the rest on your own.
Yes, thanks for that! (Anna-Maija:) No need to explain. – Thank you.
Dear friends, many thanks for these extremely entertaining and eye-opening historical stories.
Um, they were all so good that I'll give 4 points to everyone.
But someone always has to stand out, which is good, so I'll give Pentti 1 more point, so Pentti gets a total of 5 points.
(Pentti:) Sorry. (Jaakko:) And then there's extra points for the special words —
if you managed to include them. And I wanted to be precise: It has to be "queen of England". The words.
So for example "Elizabeth" isn't enough. In which case Jenni 2, Anna-Maija and Pentti 3 points each.
And Mikko and Riku managed to include all the words.
We now know the final scores. And actually I'm quite excited to know who has won tonight's episode.
After all the tasks, the one to accumulate the highest score was...
...Riku.
(Jaakko:) Riku, congratulations! You can go and enjoy these dentist's gifts!
Thanks to all of our contestants. If you viewers at home feel —
that you could do a better job at some task, —
video it and upload it to social media with the hashtag #suurmestari.
Thanks for joining us. See you!