Shh! Ugh!
Bye-bye! Eugh!
Arggh!
Ohh!
Mmm!
This is the best day of my life.
Yep. Go on.
Eughhh!
Shh!
Yes! Hello. Welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
My name is Tom Gleeson and I am this country's only Taskmaster.
This is in many ways the Sydney Olympics of television.
Heroes will be born, hearts will be broken
and ultimately it should bring about $7 billion to the Australian economy.
And why do it?
So one lucky athlete can come home with this -
my beautiful head cast in gold.
On the starting blocks tonight are the same contestants we always have -
Danielle Walker, Jimmy Rees,
Julia Morris, Luke McGregor and Nina Oyama.
And what would an Olympics be without its Nikki Webster?
It's my cute little super starlet Tom Cashman.
Our first task is a prize task.
Each of our contestants have brought in a prize.
The best one will be awarded 5 points
and the contestant who wins this episode
will walk home with all five prizes.
Tonight they have been asked to bring in what they consider to be
the coolest thing they've found on a walk
within one kilometre of their house.
A great prize task
and a great incentive to do 15 minutes of light exercise.
Luke, what did you find?
Some people are lucky enough to live near a view with a nice bench
and I don't live next to that.
One of the people in my neighbourhood
took it upon themselves to create a sitting spot with a view
and I found this.
I just had a thought too - because I brought in that chair
that means there is no longer that view spot anymore.
So you didn't bring in the view,
which was the thing you seemed to be the most captured by?
Yeah, yeah, no, there was... Mistakes were made. Uh...
OK, Jimmy, what did you bring in?
I go there all the time
and it's a cool, hipster, wankery kind of cafe.
Oh.
I attempted to haul it here, but I just had to steal some menus.
Here it is.
Look at all the funky titles to all the meals.
You can tell the baristas have long beards and man buns.
OK, Nina, what have you hauled in?
Well, I live 350 metres from Anthony Albanese's office.
Oh. Ooh.
So I brought a Marrickville Pork Roll.
Alright, so talk us through the pork roll.
They are delicious and, um, if they see this
and want to sponsor me, I would love to get some free food.
OK, but is it cool?
I think it's pretty cool. Yeah!
Yes! Thank you. The crowd has spoken.
Your opinion doesn't matter.
Enjoy the rest of the show!
Danielle, what did you bring in for us?
I have to preface this with I don't live near a beach or river system...
..and so on a walk, I found a crab that was alive.
OK.
It was in the middle of a frickin' park!
Oh-ah! Whoa!
I just found a crab! I don't know if a bird dropped it.
This is the photo. It was that big! Oh.
Yeah, it's a pretty big crab, I thought, for a park.
Were you not tempted to boil it up and eat it?
Once mum made me shell 15 kilos of prawns at Christmas
and I went off seafood since then.
OK, unnecessary detail, but I liked it.
Julia?
Well, at the corner of my street is one of those amazing...
You know, those, like, blow-up things.
There he is!
You brought that in?
Yes, sir, I did!
Yeah, the "Whoo!" It's a lot of fun.
I mean, it's no chair.
Which brings me to the scoring, Luke.
I think you have to be at the bottom on 1
'cause it's...it's just a chair.
Yeah, it's... Aww!
Why are you feeling sorry
for an ordinary-looking man who brought in a chair?
So we've got Luke on 1.
Nina, that's... It's just a pork roll and they're pretty cheap.
It's the best pork roll in Sydney!
But it's unimpressive. OK. Alright.
So, Jimmy, you're on 3 with your menu.
Cool!
On four points, I'm gonna go with Danielle with the crab.
Julia, the inflatable man's the coolest surely.
5 points.
Yeah, colour and movement.
Alright, well, let's start digging into the good gear, Tom.
Alright, but I must warn you I have a sinking feeling,
by which I mean I have a good feeling
that this next task relates to sinking.
Hi! Hi, Jimmy.
It's so far away!
Well, well, well, Tom!
Welcome to the dock. Thank you so much, sir.
You look like a celebrant at a wedding.
What's that about? The ball?
Yeah. You'll see.
Do you want me to go towards you or do you wanna catch up or what...
Maybe just go straight up. Just do it.
"Sink the bowling ball.
"You cannot get wet."
"The fastest wins."
Sink the bowling ball?
Where... Ohh! Ohh!
"Your time starts now."
I'm glad it says, "You can't get wet,"
'cause that would be on my list regardless.
OK, so that's all there is to it?
Just sink the bowling ball? Yeah.
Alright, who are you showing me first?
It's Luke and Danielle!
What technique do you use? Maybe cricketer?
OK, well, I'll just do this thing.
Arggh!
Oh, this is not very fast.
Ugh!
Ahh! The current!
Please hit the ball! Arggh!
Oh, my God!
It's not sinking!
Ah! You've tricked me!
Must be one of those light ones.
Why'd you get a light one for? It's a... Oh!
OK.
So I've got to now make him sink.
Oh, God. Alright.
How do you row? Are they supposed to stick...
I've never actually rowed before, I just realised.
How do I get into the shore?
Tom?
Oh.
Tom, am I moving in the right direction?
Tom? Oh, no.
I wish I knew how to row!
OK... No. No, no! No!
Get to the ball!
Come on. No, the wind! NO!
What if I just get stuck out here forever?
Grab the oar. Pull me to the ball.
Thank you. Keep going, keep going. We're close. Good. Thank you, buddy.
Can you pull...can you pull that in?
Ooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Don't help me. I'm fine.
I didn't know bowling balls floated.
I'm gonna put it in this crab pot.
Let's go. OK.
My bum's not wet, by the way. I pissed my pants in the boat.
It's not water. And pissed doesn't count as wet?
No, no, no. It's, uh... That's different.
What the... Far out!
Arggh!
No, no, no, no!
The crab pot sank. Yeah, I can tell that.
And dry as a bone.
Maybe use the anchor if I can maybe.
It's annoying 'cause the ball is spherical, you know?
Yeah.
Can you give us a quick twirl?
No. No.
Do you think it's possible to tie a chain around a bowling ball?
Hmm... Is that me?
Yes, that is you, who I'm making fun of.
A little quick...
Great.
Please. Please, please, please, please, please.
It's under the water.
Look at that. That sank.
Like I said, I wet my pants. It's not from the water.
So, Luke, I will accept that you weren't wet if you're happy to admit
here in front of all of your peers that that was 100% human piss.
Is that fair?
I'm worried I'll say it was piss and then you'll give me 1 point anyway.
Well, you got nothing to lose.
I don't want to answer any more questions without my lawyer.
So in the end, you just put it in the sink.
So did you consider that 'sinking' the bowling ball?
Yeah, when someone said, "Those dishes need sinking,"
that means they need putting in the sink.
You took a very long time, Danielle.
Yeah, I fully know that
'cause I disassembled the full thing that the bowling ball was on
to try and wrap the chains around the ball.
I reckon I did that for 15-20 minutes
before I realised I couldn't wrap chains around the ball.
Would you like to know how long they took?
Yeah.
So Luke put the ball in the sink after 14 minutes and 6 seconds.
Wow.
Danielle sank her ball after 40 minutes and 23 seconds.
OK, we're going to an ad break
so you can consider what fine products to sink your money into.
We'll be back right after this.
Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster,
a show where people try to win a statue that looks like my head
by sinking bowling balls which also look like my head.
Does that about sum up what we're doing, Tom?
Pretty much.
Our contestants are trying to sink a bowling ball without getting wet
as fast as possible, only it's one of those bowling balls that float.
Sorry about that.
I've got two more contestants.
One loves pretending to be a woman.
The other would be in prison if she was a man.
Here's Jimmy and Julia.
Ohh!
Dammit! I knew it would float!
I knew it would float!
Oh, well, that's why this is here.
Launching a vessel, sir.
I haven't done this since the late '70s.
Stupid Tom and his stupid tasks with his stupid things.
We're going in!
I'm not mucking around, babe. Is there any eels in here?
We are going...in.
Huh!
Yes! I'm going with one oar.
Been working out the arms, Tom. Don't want to brag.
Fastest wins!
Whee!
Ugh!
I am the fastest.
OK, still not wet.
Come here, bowling ball.
Ugh!
Here we go.
Nup.
Put this under here like this and...
There you go. Sunk it.
Is your hand getting wet there? Not wet by the very definition of it.
How would you define 'wet'? Um...soaking.
It's quite warm, the water, actually. It's not bad.
How do you know that?
Well, 'cause it's on my knees. Oh.
It hasn't gone to the ground
so it hasn't sunk to the bottom by its very nature.
But it is in a type of sink. OK.
Did you touch it with your hand as well?
No, I row, row, rowed.
That's probably my worst yet, is it? Couldn't tell you.
That doesn't count as getting wet. Doesn't it?
Well, define 'wet'.
"Covered or saturated with water or another liquid."
OK, yeah, I'm done with it now.
I'm gonna grab on to some verdant grass
and bring myself into the shoreline.
Is the reason we asked none of them to get into the water
because that lake looked a bit disgusting?
It was full of... Ebola it was full of.
E. coli. Ebola?!
I knew it had something tricky.
That would be crazy if it was only now
we told you that the lake had Ebola.
It would've made the challenge a lot harder.
You seemed like you were disqualifying yourself there, Jimmy.
No, no, no, I think I defined 'wet' at the end
and it pretty much said "submerged in water".
OK, well, you were wet on the front of your legs.
That was from Luke.
From old mate over here. He was there before me.
Oh, so he did... He pissed himself.
He...he admitted that now.
I'm happy to admit it if I get 5 points.
I think I'm gonna accept that everyone got a little bit wet,
so I'll put that aside 'cause I think the spirit of the rule
was that you couldn't jump out with the bowling ball
and completely submerge it while getting into the lake.
Otherwise, we definitely would've done that.
What are the times so far?
So Julia sank the ball in 8 minutes and 14 seconds.
Wow!
Jimmy sank the ball in 2 minutes and 4 seconds.
Wow!
Ooh!
OK, who's throwing some pins across the lake next?
Her surname means 'small mountain' in Japanese,
but she's got a big mountain to climb here.
It's Nina Oyama.
Wait. What's the point of the task? Sorry.
"Fastest." OK.
I mean, there's a boat here. There is a boat there.
Oh, my God. OK.
Is this how you... What?!
I can't believe this works.
Hey!
Did it! I did it!
It's, like, you can use the boat. Mm.
The catch with this boat is that you have to get it back.
Oh, my God. What a time.
Oh, I need a lie-down.
Are you done? I think so.
I'll just double-check the brief again.
Yeah, "Sink the..." Yeah. Yeah, I was done ages ago.
OK. Good.
Why are you still filming?
Oh...
I forgot my...
'Bye. See ya.
Very early on in this series, you made a bet with Tom Cashman
that you were gonna win the whole thing.
How do you think that bet's looking now?
I mean...it's episode four.
But, yeah, pretty badly, actually. I really regret that.
So what happened after we finished filming
is we left the bowling ball in the lake
so Nina's attempt is still ongoing.
Her time currently stands at 78 days, 9 hours and 23 minutes.
That is amazing.
OK, can we have all the scores?
Alright, then 1 point for Nina, 2 for Danielle,
3 for Luke, 4 for Julia.
The winner of the task with 5 points is Jimmy!
And what has that done to our episode scoreboard?
The winner so far is Julia with 9 points.
Oh, wow!
OK, Tom Cashman, I have a hunger
that can only be satiated with more tasks.
Fine. I hope you're a breakfast at night kind of guy.
Ooh!
Tom, are you in there?
Yep.
Can you see me through this?
Yeah.
Hello, Tom. Hi, Danielle.
Testing, testing, one, two.
Oh, sorry.
That's a good look for you.
You think? Yeah, doing something useful.
Did you know... No.
..that the sound man would easily be the sexiest man alive?
Do you want to know why? Why?
A man that listens. Oh.
That's a joke for the ladies.
"Snap something and crackle something
"and pop something."
"Your first snap, crackle and pop counts."
"Most satisfying snap, crackle and pop wins."
You have 20 minutes.
So crackle...so crackle, I obviously want to set something alight.
What's that last line?
Oh, my God.
Honestly, it's like I've got a personal block.
But, "Your time starts now."
OK.
So pretty straightforward.
We're looking for satisfying snaps, crackles and pops
and your first snap, crackle and pop count.
Alright, spin me up. Who's first?
I don't know if he's good at the game Snap, but he sure is a card.
It's Luke McGregor.
OK, snap. I'll be back.
I'll be back with something to snap.
One of these didn't make a very loud snap,
but I'm pretty certain if I snap a whole bunch,
it'll make one loud big snap.
OK.
That was not worth it.
Crackle.
Oh, that's gonna be pretty loud. What would be a good pop?
I can write a pop song.
# Tom Gleeson was a redhead
# But then he lost all his hair
# But I've still got mine
# I'm just worried that's my future
# So I'm using a lot of products
# To try and avoid that happening... #
Then, like, roll it down the keyboard.
Like, just sort of...
You kind of wrecked it at the end there.
Sorry. Thanks, Luke.
See you on tour.
Sorry, Tom. Sorry about that song.
I think...I think you look better without hair personally.
I think it looks good. I, uh... Ugh!
Luke, it was a great pop song. I really liked it.
Would...would you like to sing it to my face?
No. No, I'm good. Are you sure?
I forgot that I did that.
I think you've forgotten that about a lot of your tasks.
Yeah.
Was that a crackle or more of a crunch or a bang?
I thought if I just put the microphone
in with...in with the rice...
Rice? Generic rice.
Generic rice?
That it would make a crackling sound.
Would you like to know the definition of 'crackle'?
Yep.
"A rapid succession of short, sharp noises."
It did that, it did that! I think it did no succession.
It was just a thud.
Alright, Tom, I've been meaning to say
you look great holding the boom mike.
I'm just happy you have something to fall back on
if this whole thing doesn't work out.
I'm just happy I'll always have a job working with you.
OK.
I need a few minutes to deliver some bad news.
See you soon for some snaps, crackles and pops
and hopefully no tears.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Who will walk away with something someone else found on a walk?
We're trying to find out by making breakfast noises.
That's right - our contestants are trying to make
a satisfying snap, crackle and pop
and the first snap, crackle and pop counts
so they have to do it very carefully.
Who have we got next?
Whether or not she can crackle, she sure is a crack-up.
It's Danielle Walker.
"Most satisfying."
It would be satisfying to shoot a gun.
You're asking me to get you a gun?
There's an eggshell in the bin. I can crackle that.
This is the obvious choice.
And you know I've been wanting to use this every day.
I'm gonna do crackle first.
OK, I've got 3 minutes or something?
2 minutes and 42 seconds. Ohh.
1 minute and 5 seconds.
Oh, God. I'm not gonna get this done, am I?
That's my snap.
22 seconds. 22 seconds. 22 seconds.
How long now?
14 seconds.
Oh-ho-ho!
Thank you for that, Tom. Another day of living my dream.
What did you use to make that crackle noise?
An egg I found in the bin, just the shell.
It was a very satisfying sound. Yeah, it felt...
Did you see my face? I was like, "Oh-ho-ho!"
Were you gonna take an axe to that... Yeah.
But they kept banning me from using the axe.
Danielle's plan was to use the axe to pop the exercise ball.
Yeah, 'cause you'd suspect it would, "Whack!"
Wouldn't you? Mm-hm.
OK, who's next?
Whether or not she can pop, she lives in a bubble.
It's Julia Morris!
"Snap something, crackle something, pop something."
Like that?
Is that a pop? That's the pop? Tick the pop.
OK, so I feel like we've got our...
HOW VERY DARE YOU? Oh, my God!
There's your snap. But are you ready for your crackle?
Thanks, Julia.
Ohh...
So you lit the rice bubbles?
The way that you just did that straightaway
made me feel like you've done that before.
No, but I love that stick lighter
because you can light things from a distance.
Should we worry about you in the summer months?
No, you'll never find me.
I'm all in battle fatigues.
I gotta tell you about flame-throwers, Julia.
Oh, yes! Methane!
Can I...can I swap spots? Can I sit down there?
I must say the snap was great. Do you snap at home?
Not anymore, sir, 'cause I'm no longer married.
Oh, OK.
Oh, so your marriage snapped.
Ha-ha!
So it was a great snap.
But I thought the pop was a bit shit. You kind of threw that one away.
I just wanted to get out of there, wanted to go home early.
OK, keep the snaps, crackles, etc, coming.
I don't know if he can snap, crackle and pop,
but he sure can yap, cackle and prop.
It's Jimmy Rees.
I'm thinking maybe I could snap a frame
with the Taskmaster in it or something.
Whoa. I think I'm gonna...
Like, I could've done it that way,
but I think sitting on his face might be a bit more satisfying.
Here we go. This is the crackle sound.
Ready?
'Pop'. Uh-oh.
"A sudden, short, explosive sound."
Let's try and put a balloon inside a balloon and have a double pop.
I've double-walled it.
Count me down! 17.
16. 15. 14.
13. 12.
Ohh...
I'm feeling satisfied. Talk me through the double balloon.
I just thought if I kept blowing it up,
it would be harder with two.
You said that sitting on my face would be more satisfying.
It was a great snap, but it's not supposed to be satisfying for you.
It's supposed to be satisfying for the listener.
If I did it the other way around, your feet would be going up my arse,
which I feel like is what's happening all the time on this show.
OK.
Alright, who's up?
What's been impressive about all these attempts so far
is the sounds they get on their first attempt, as per the rules.
Just thought I'd bring that up for no reason.
Anyway, we have one more contestant - Nina Oyama.
I think, like, snapping a twig will be a good vibe.
It's really helpful to read the envelope.
Oh, no.
OK, ready?
Oh, that sucked.
Oh, that was... Can I do a second snap?
All the information you need is in the task.
OK.
I'm going for another twig. I'm going for...
I'm gonna get a lot of twigs.
Hang on. Let me...let me do this one again.
Oh-ho-ho!
That's a snap!
Oh, snap!
Oh, that...that has, like, a crackly kind of sound.
OK, are you ready?
You know what? I'm just gonna shelve this.
This is, like, part of the B squad of sounds.
This is crackle time. Ready?
Now, that's a crackle. That is...
Can I do that thing?
It's just not very satisfying. It's like a weak dog pop.
Like... It's not good enough.
OK, what about this?
!
Oh! I mean...
I'm gonna do it again.
!
I think... Yeah, that's a grade A pop.
Beautiful.
OK. Thanks, Nina.
I love that you carried the task around with you the whole time.
You did and at one point you literally said,
"It's really helpful to read the envelope."
You just gotta trust me.
Like, the ones that I got to were really, really good.
Like, they were, like, SO GOOD!
I mean, you were there.
Like, how good were they? They were so good.
But I get to have the first one?
Yeah, they count. Oh, cool.
The ones you said were shit.
OK, well, it's pretty clear, the scoring for me.
I think Luke's on 1. Uh!
Despite not having second attempts that didn't count like Nina did.
Nina, you're on 2.
I really liked Julia's snap, but the pop was thrown away.
So you're on 3 points. Thank you.
Danielle got a really good reaction from the crowd,
but Jimmy got the best with 5.
Very satisfying sounds from Jimmy.
Now here's something to delight all five of the senses -
some bold and beautiful advertising.
We'll be back after the break!
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Only one comedian will get to take home
a single pork roll to keep forever.
Who will it be?
What's going on, Tom Cashman?
Oh, not much. Just about to introduce a task.
Here's one for the 'spreadheads'.
Hello, Tom. Hi, Luke.
Oh!
Oh, what is that?
Is this Vegemite?
It's generic yeast spread. Sorry.
That sounds so much worse.
I hope the task isn't to open the jar.
"Thoroughly spread this generic yeast spread
"on the best thing."
"You have 12 minutes."
"Your time starts now."
I mean...
So not much to this one.
Our contestants need to choose the best thing.
The retreat contains many things, thousands of things.
18,000 things in total. Would you like to know what some of them are?
Play one of the clips, I reckon.
Right away. It's Nina and Danielle.
He is the judge.
Well...
..Tom Gleeson it is.
I mean, I was gonna put it on you,
but I figured you wouldn't like that.
I do hope somebody else does it, though.
I think I'm gonna go with this world map.
Maybe if the whole world was covered in generic yeast spread,
we'd all have one problem that we could unite against.
Like in 'Independence Day'. Yeah.
The thread of 'genetic' yeast spread.
Generic yeast...
GENERIC YEAST! Calm down, please.
A big smile for him 'cause he's very happy
about the fact he's the best thing.
Now I just need to draw a suit on him.
The rotation stops working once you cover it in generic 'meat' spread.
Yeast.
Yeah, same thing.
See the likeness there?
Yeah.
Ta-da!
He's thoroughly spread on that.
Uh-oh. Ohh!
Uh-oh!
"Completely clean the generic yeast spread off your best thing."
"Fastest wins. Your time starts now." OK, kitchen.
Eh! I thought the paper would really smear.
But it's actually quite durable.
OK, great, great, great. And that's done, right?
Beautiful. Look at that.
Oh, this is actually pretty funny.
Oh, I'm gonna fully throw up.
This looks so foul.
It's making me feel ill. Mmm.
Are you OK?
It's just the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.
I don't think I was the worst. The best?
Only time will tell.
It's like Moses in the reeds.
And that's cleaned. That's completely clean?
Yeah, smashed it.
How do you think it went compared to the other tasks at this lake?
Oh, bad. I think I'm like a lake guy, so...
Yeah. Yeah.
OK, 'bye!
Yeah, did you see the bowling ball still floating there?
But, hey, at least we know where all that E. coli came from.
So, Danielle, Nina, how did you feel about
my little double task for you there?
Well, mine, it came off pretty fast.
I was pretty chuffed with it, to be honest.
I feel good about it. What about you, Nina?
Having to see it all come off in the bathtub,
it looked like someone had had diarrhoea in the bath.
Like, I cannot stress enough how much it looked like actual shit
and of, like, various sizes.
Like, there were big logs... Stop describing it!
It's really hard to clean non-specified genetic...
Ugh!
Generic yeast infe... Brand... Spread.
Sorry.
When I hear the word 'yeast'... Generic yeast spread.
So how'd they do? Alright.
So Nina cleaned planet Earth in 11 minutes and 8 seconds.
Better than all those companies out there! Hah!
I would hate to be a corporation right now.
Yeah.
Danielle cleaned Tom Gleeson in a brisk 2 minutes and 21 seconds.
Ah, more spreading, please, Tom.
Forget Vegemite toast for breakfast.
This guy is really salty in the mornings.
It's Luke McGregor.
I kind of want to stick my arm in it to see how it feels.
I gotta do it for science. I've never had a jar this big before.
How's it feel?
It doesn't feel good.
Um, OK.
Ugh!
I've got an idea.
Alright, close your eyes for a second.
OK. OK, open your eyes.
Guess which one is my real hand.
Tom?
Guess which one's my real hand.
My right, your left.
Yeah, you're right. Do you want to try it?
Close your eyes. Closing my eyes. Yep.
Open your eyes.
Oh! They're so similar.
Your left.
You actually got me.
How much time we got left? 43 seconds.
Ooh, OK. Now, you know that scene in 'Predator'?
Get a big old globule. Mm-hm.
Dillon, you sonofabitch.
That actually wasn't that bad.
Oh!
Alright... Oh, no!
Don't be "Clean it off". Don't be "Clean it off".
"Completely clean the generic yeast spread off your best thing.
"Fastest wins."
OK, with what?
This is not working.
It doesn't really come off, does it? No.
Ooh, go back out there for a second.
Alright, one more game.
You might have to squint for this one. Like, blur your eyes a little.
Are you squinting? I'm really squinting.
Don't cheat. Your hand is on the left.
My left? Yes.
I don't know if you squint.
I don't think you squinted. I was squinting!
This is clean?
Yeah, that's how it was before.
I had a bathroom accident. That was before the game.
So, yeah, it was... So that's human faeces?
That's human faeces, yeah. That's your...
I'd appreciate if you don't make a big deal of it
'cause I'm already embarrassed by it.
And you're comfortable with that just being there?
I'll wash it off separately to the task.
I just don't want to waste time getting penalised
for what was clearly just an accident in the toilet.
So at...
..at the beginning of the show, you were prepared to say
that you wet yourself to avoid saying you got splashed
and now you're prepared to say that you had...
That I had poo all up my forearm? Yeah.
It was just unfortunate on the same day we're dealing with Vegemite
I happened to get poo all over my arm.
The luck!
You know what I was really excited about?
You created a task within the task.
Yeah, I...I kind of forgot what the task was halfway through.
I could tell, but I don't care 'cause you created entertainment.
You created a whole other task
and that was, "Guess which hand is mine."
It was very entertaining.
Thank you. It was great, great viewing.
Yeah, Tom and I are gonna take it on the road next year.
You know what the best thing is?
You invented a task within the task and then you lost at that task.
Yeah.
I feel like it might have affected the result. How'd he do?
Well, if we accept that the rest of that stuff on his arm was faeces,
his time was 7 minutes and 33 seconds.
OK, still quite a while there.
Enough spreading spread for the time being.
It's now time to spread 40-ish minutes of content
out over an hour by going to another ad break.
We'll see you soon with more Taskmaster!
Look, I know you're watching it now, but how about watching more later?
Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation
of Taskmaster Australia
with full episodes at 10play.com.au or the 10 play app.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
A chair Luke McGregor found in the bushes is still up for grabs.
Who do you think is going to win, Tom Cashman?
I am hesitant to speculate, but our contestants
are spreading yeast spread on their best thing
and then attempting to completely clean it off.
Anyone left?
I hope you like national youth radio broadcasters
'cause we're about to tune into the J's -
it's Jimmy and Julia.
I'm pretty sure I have said to you, Tom,
that you are the best thing about this show.
Oh, OK. Better than...
Right. ..Voldemort.
Would you mind just laying down on this table?
OK.
Alright! You want it. You got it.
It's like a day spa. I'll give you a little head massage.
Oh, that's quite nice. That's quite nice.
And this is like the oil.
People don't always treat you
like you're the best thing, don't you reckon?
So this is self-love, is it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah... Eugh!
Oh, there we go. Look at that.
It's quite dense.
Some people eat it this way, you know?
Listen to this.
Some websites love that. OK.
Ohh!
I don't want to touch your...
You know, your, um... Oh, right. That's appreciated.
You mind if I just drop a bit on there?
I'll just put a... There we go.
OK. Just a little bit on...
That's nice.
I just thought if anyone was feeling a little bit hungry...
Whee!
Ooh!
Is this the next task?
You are a cheeky piece, Tom.
I hope the next task is a shower.
High five.
Oh, damn.
Thanks, mate.
OK, stand by.
OK. Alright, honey bear.
OK, so we're gonna get that off. OK.
Just be careful. We don't want to get it anywhere. OK.
It's quite thoroughly on here, isn't it?
Are you clean? Well, you be the judge.
I'm gonna have to trust you to some degree.
There you go, Jimmy. Thanks, mate. OK.
I'll just pop off to the drycleaners.
Well, I don't think the show's gonna get much hornier than that.
There was a lot going on there.
Like, why I would take my clothes off on television...
Honestly, that's gonna tell you how bad my mental health is.
Can you explain putting the bread on your leg?
I don't think that was part of... 'Cause you had to cover something...
I don't even know where the bread came from.
I remember none of that.
You asked me to get it for you from the kitchen.
Did I? High level trauma, so you lose a lot of stuff.
OK, so, Jimmy? Mm-hm.
I think we got it back from the drycleaner, didn't we?
Mm-hm. OK, let's have a look.
Look at that! Look at how clean that is!
Ohh!
Why don't you have a look at it, Jimmy?
Just see if it's up to your standards.
Yeah, it's, um...
..it smells clean.
What does it smell like? It smells like...
I think it smells like Luke's arm.
I feel like that might affect the results.
Well, hang on. It wasn't a smell test, though, was it?
Did everyone smell Danielle's picture of you?
Did you smell Luke's arm? 'Cause that obviously...
No, no, no, to be fair...
I'm just saying...
Julia, are you setting me a task within the task?
Would you like to know the times? Yeah, how'd they go?
So Julia had a shower and dried herself and came back
in 6 minutes 32 seconds.
Ooh! OK.
My suit was returned from the drycleaners
in 4 days, 16 hours and 27 minutes.
Pretty good, though. It's pretty clean.
So obviously Jimmy is on 1.
We have Nina on 2. Luke on 3. Julia on 4.
The winner of the task is Danielle with 5 points.
Thank you!
And how has that task spread our cast across the overall scores?
The current winner is Julia with 16 points!
OK, that's all very well and good, but it's far from over.
You lot, up on the stage for the live task!
Tonight's live task will be performed in teams.
Luke, could you please read the task?
"In your teams, re-create famous scenes
"from history for the Taskmaster.
"Once the Taskmaster has correctly guessed your famous scene,
"you may re-create another.
"You may only speak in four-letter words.
"Most scenes correctly guessed in 150 seconds wins."
Correct. The team of two will be going first.
Never gonna be ready.
Eugh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
'Gras'. 'Grass' has five letters.
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
Uh, JFK assassination? Correct.
Oh, gosh.
Iron.
Head.
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
I'm thinking it's something to do with Ned Kelly perhaps.
Correct.
2000!
Oh!
Um... Bugs. Bugs. Bugs.
Happ...newy...year.
Bugs!
Arggh!
Happ...newy...year?
Oh, that's a... Are you doing a 'Y'? Y2K!
Yes! Correct.
You're a genius.
Please move to the chair.
Oh, God. OK. The other team.
Oh...
Rats! Sick!
Sick from rats! Thee...
Rats! Oh, uh, Black Death.
Correct. Yes!
Oh...
Uh...
Fire! Lava!
Fire! Freez... Um...
Mama!
Oh, Pompeii?
Correct. OK.
Wall, wall, wall.
Wall. Wall. Fall, fall, fall.
Ohh!
Fall of the Berlin Wall. Very good. Correct.
Pop!
Same! Same! Same!
'Nine to...'
Song!
Oh, Dolly...Dolly Parton.
No, yeah, no...
Oh, Dolly the sheep! Dolly the sheep! Correct.
Oh, cash, cash, cash, cash!
Cash, cash, cash, cash!
NOOO! Three O's. Ahh! No cash! No cash! No cash!
GFC crash. Correct.
You got it!
Thanks for that.
It was not only competitive, but extremely educational.
We'll be back after the break to see who wins!
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Tom Cashman, some stats and figures from our live task, please.
Well, our team of two got three of the scenes correct,
however they said the word 'grass'
as the very first word of one of them.
But only one 'S'.
I was using the umlaut above the 'A' to give it its gravitas.
'Gras'? You've convinced me. I think it's fine.
OK, so they're on three.
And then team two got five.
Amazing! Very impressive.
Alright, this means we have a winner,
but let's hold you in suspense one moment longer.
What is our series scoreboard looking like, Tom?
Our current season winner so far -
Danielle with 66 points!
Tonight's episode ends with...
..Jimmy and Julia with 19 points.
We've got another tiebreaker!
Alright, what's the tiebreak?
We'll be watching Jimmy and Julia
attempt to honk a car horn the quietest.
Just quiet. Making it quiet.
Where does the honk come from?
I'm assuming this is the horn we're talking about, babes.
35 seconds.
Don't... Why are you putting it under there for?
24 seconds.
Put your thing...
Oh!
Thanks, Jimmy.
Can I just say, in my own life...
..that's what would've happened.
Who had the quietest horn?
By five decibels,
Jimmy Rees had the quietest horn!
Quiet horn!
Five things found on five walks
in various urban, suburban and semirural areas
of eastern Australia are yours to enjoy.
Tonight, we learnt that bowling balls can be annoyingly buoyant
and we also learnt that Tom Cashman
better hope this show gets another season
as he makes a terrible sound operator.
Most importantly, however,
we learnt our episode four winner
is Jimmy!
We'll see you next week with more Taskmaster!
Out of the way! Is my butt wet?
So when you read the task, what's actually going on inside your head?
That genuinely broke my brain.
That's too far. I can feel it's too far.
Captions by Red Bee Media