This programme contains strong language and adult humour
Hello. Lou!
Hello, Ed. Hello, Alex.
KERRY: Hello.
RICHARD: Should I read it out?
"Look the most like a champion..."
"..in the Taskmaster titles."
"You must do five different heroic things..."
LOU: "..for five seconds. You have 20 minutes."
"Your time starts now."
Onward!
Yay! ED STRAINS
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello! Thank you!
I'm Greg Davies, and welcome to a special Champion of Champions
episode where the winners of series six to ten come together
to determine who is the person motivated enough to take home
the most hollow of prizes.
Who is the most driven to prove that they are the best at
completing tasks that have no real-world application?
Who of our five will delude themselves into thinking that
any of this matters,
and become our second Taskmaster Champion of Champions?
CHEERING
Let us meet these incredible titans of the absurd.
It is Ed Gamble... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
..Kerry Godliman... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
..Liza Tarbuck... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
..Lou Sanders... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
..and Richard Herring. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
And next to me, the antithesis of a champion.
A man whose mother once told me in a quiet moment that,
as a child, he was, and I quote,
"So irritating we paid for a barrage of medical tests."
HIGH-PITCHED: It's little Alex Horne!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hi, Greg.
Are you in a good mood? Yeah.
Can I have a promotion? Er, no.
Still assistant? Yes.
I'd like to be Deputy Taskmaster. All right. Please? OK.
I've got you some chocolate. No. No? OK.
We need to get on with the show. OK. I could give you some crisps.
Yeah. Would you like some crisps? I don't want those there.
You can have a little picture of my wife
Yeah, I will take that. LAUGHTER
What's the prize category today for this colossal clash,
young fellow, m'lad?
Well, the category, after some pretty intense workshopping,
is the thing that makes everyone go,
"Wow, that really is the greatest thing."
Stinks of running out of ideas. LAUGHTER
The person who gets, or is closest to getting,
that reaction will be awarded five almighty points
and edge closer to becoming the ultimate champ.
And they'll also get to take home five wow-worthy things at
the end of the show. I'm so jealous,
I have a small piece of sick in my mouth.
Liza Tarbuck. Yes, sir.
I'm starting with you. OK.
What thing have you brought in? Erm, I've brought in, er,
the thing that makes everybody else go wow. My house.
Here it is.
Ooh. Wow.
Liza Tarbuck and...
Yeah. Imagine that. ..David Bowie.
Imagine having David Bowie to yourself.
I was wowing at Johnny Vaughan. LAUGHTER
Well, bottom line is, that is a hell of a sandwich.
It's pretty good.
Yeah, I mean, John I think was expecting me to stick my head
right by his, and I just deflected.
Yeah. Funny you were more drawn to Bowie, isn't it?
Honestly, it was fantastic.
I did do a little "wow" to myself.
I heard a little "wow".
Right. Kerry. Can you get more of a "wow" than a picture of David Bowie?
The thing that makes everyone say "wow" - right, I wrote a play.
There we go. Straight to business. I'm a playwright. Yeah. OK?
Everyone's got lines, including all of you.
This is the script here.
It's called The Greatest Thing. Here we go.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE That's good, really good.
Say your line.
Wow.
"Yes. Yes, it is!"
LAUGHTER
AUDIENCE RECITES
Bosh!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
They said it!
Very clever. I mean, the play itself...
..it was a little bit irritating. It needs work.
It was irritating. Lou. Yes.
What have you brought us? Well, it's up there.
Yeah. Here it comes.
It's a heart in a jar. Yeah, heart in a jar.
LAUGHTER
Wow.
Looks like we're, er, back on track.
LAUGHTER
Brought a heart in a jar because that is a thing
that makes people go "wow" -
one, because of the visuals,
but two, because you can't live without love.
I was supposed to learn some really good facts about the heart, but...
Couldn't be bothered? Forgot.
LAUGHTER
Last place.
Ed, what have you brought in?
I think the greatest thing is winning Taskmaster.
That's got to be the greatest thing...
Right, you smooth bastard. LOU: Suck up.
So, I thought I'd bring my trophy in.
But then, we've all got one of those.
So, I wanted to make my trophy better than everyone else's.
Erm, so I sent it to space.
Did you actually? Yes. KERRY: What?
I mean, I have got five sweet points.
Here is Ed's trophy on its journey.
TRANQUIL MUSIC
LAUGHTER
DRAMATIC CHOIR MUSIC
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
LAUGHTER
Wow. Big wow. Yeah.
Herring is shitting himself.
That was a lovely piece. RICHARD: It was amazing. Amazing.
How did you make that happen?
They sent it up there on a big balloon. Yes. Big balloon.
It was up there, got to -56 degrees,
your head travelled at 150mph at its speediest velocity.
Wow. Good boy.
Good boy. Thanks.
Don't worry, though. Richard Herring's here to win the day.
Yeah. Can you beat that?
Well, I think, in a way, I can.
I think the greatest thing in the world is
the ancient city of Pompeii.
I've got a picture of it here, here's the ancient city of Pompeii.
It's a beautiful history, you can step back in time,
see how the Romans lived, there's fantastic art there.
I'm going to pay for whoever wins to take a partner or a friend
to ancient Pompeii for two nights, four-star hotel...
LAUGHTER
..500 euro spending money, all your transfers paid for.
I mean, that is remarkable. Yeah.
Right, you're going to have to judge this now, Greg.
Jesus Christ.
It's not straightforward.
Well, it's straightforward to give Lou one point.
Bang, that's... Yeah, no, actually, I agree.
LAUGHTER So, one point to Lou. One point.
Now, I'm going to give Kerry -
and I do feel a bit mean cos it was very clever -
I'm going to give her two points because I can't - for the simple
reason David Bowie's a legend, I'm going to give him three points.
Four points to Richard Herring. I think that's fair. OK.
My head in space takes the big five. There it is.
APPLAUSE Five points to Ed Gamble!
Right, what is it that they'll be doing to impress me, Alex?
Of course, and to start, here's how these five people
can impress you with a grape!
Hello. Kerry.
Ed Gamble.
Hi, Richard.
Hello.Hi, Lou. SHE LAUGHS
Yeah, doors are sometimes trickier than you think.
Hello, Alex.
LAUGHTER
Hi, Liza.
I remember you from Series Six. You were the champion.
I was, yes. Has something changed?
I don't think you can help but be changed by an experience like this.
It makes you freer.
You look freer.
I'll be honest, you should never have to remove your own cloche.
That's bad restaurant e-e-etiquette.
Amazing that I knew the word cloche, but I couldn't say etiquette.
This looks like a boob.
It looks like a golden boob.
OK, should I lift this breast off the table?
Ooh, that's the sort of thing that I love - and you bloody know it.
"Feed yourself a grape..."
"..in the most elaborate way."
"Most elaborate self-feeding of a grape wins."
"You have one hour. Your time starts now."
Easy.
You've got an hour, and your time starts now.
So, I think elaborate, it's on a string.
It's being pulled by a system of pulleys.
Do you think I can feed it up, if I feed it up through my bottom
and suck it up, and then, an hour can get it out of my mouth?
Would that...? ALEX: That'd be elaborate. Yeah.
I want to swing it at me.
Mm. It's quite elaborate, isn't it?
Or Heath Robinson styling.
That swinging's a lovely idea.
Swinging's always a good idea, isn't it, Alex?
DEEP LAUGHTER
Liza, have you done something with your hair?
LAUGHTER
I was thinking of the, er, the jack of hearts.
Visually in my mind. I...that is my beard.
It's a magnificent beard. Yeah. Thanks.
Well, I didn't know she had that beard before she came into the room,
and I was...confused.
You told me I looked strong.
It's funny how quickly I got used to it. Yeah.
It's that initial shock, and then, I think, yeah,
it's a pretty bold look for Tarbuck.
I don't mind it. Yeah.
Well, we're going to start with the best person from Series Six.
It's the strong Liza Tarbuck.
I'd like a good, clean pace off you, sailor.
Grape's on its way.
Lovely.
Just tell me to stop if you want anything.
Oh, no, I just... I'm just enjoying it all.
It's just so...odd.
Hi.
Oh, here it is!
Mm!
Mm, mm, mm.
Mm, that was delicious!
APPLAUSE
I'm just going to ask you straight, Liza.
Oh, God. Have you been taking a lot of drugs lately?
Er, I love a visual.
I'm quite disturbed by how much the beard suits you.
It's mesmerising. It really is.
I barely noticed that you had put a grape on a pulley system
powered by a dickhead.
LAUGHTER
It's a pretty elaborate start from Liza. Yeah!
Who's next?
Right, well, it's time to see Series Eight champion now.
It's Lou Sanders raisin' the bar.
SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
I'm sort of intrigued by the narrative of your piece.
I'm in a bath. Yeah.
He's dressed as a cherub. He is a cherub, is he?
I presumed he was a member of the Bee Gees. Angel.
LAUGHTER
I'm it's romantic, it's seductive, it's elaborate.
Mm-hm.
Well, was the feeding elaborate?
Yeah. Yeah. Was it?
It's a fucking angel cherub.
Did he feed you it?
Well, yes, cos he's the other side of the pulley with a harp.
Oh, were you operating the pulley system?
I don't think we were... Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Er, yes, I guess I was. Yes, yes, yes!
OK. Who's next?
Well, it's time for the winner of BAFTA award-winning Series Nine.
Ed Gamble.
DRAMATIC MUSIC
It's a classic case of murder... by grape!
But where's the weapon?
HE WHISTLES
Good boy! Good boy!
ED SNIFFS LOUDLY
Grape...grape, grape.
ED WOOFS
Good boy. What have you found?
No-o-o!
APPLAUSE
Well done. Thank you.
Erm, your dog seems quite arthritic.
LAUGHTER
He's been in the force for about 25 years.
It's his final case and, er,
someone's unfortunately been murdered by a grape.
But the only thing from the weapon that Officer Dickhead could find
was the stalk of the grape.
But they knew it had was done by an actual grape,
so they call on, finally, Ned the old, rickety police dog,
the only dog on the force who could sniff out grapes. Yeah.
And he comes, final job,
but he's been treated badly in the force,
so he takes his opportunity to enjoy a lovely grape on his last day,
thus destroying the case. Oh.
Yeah. And they are toxic for dogs. Yes.
LAUGHTER That is true, actually.
That's why it's his last case.
Interesting.
Right. Time for the first ad break.
While the champs go and get a pep talk from their agents,
you go watch some rather trained actors pretending
they're working-class in adverts.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello, again!
Welcome back to Taskmaster Champion of Champions.
With me, the assistant of assistants.
Before the break, the former champs were each trying to feed themselves
a grape in the most elaborate way.
Next up, it's the most recent winner here.
He's one tough little fish.
That's right, it's Richard Herring. Richard...
From our 400-acre vineyard, Task Mastere,
we pick only the finest grape.
We crush it beneath the foot of only the most nubile
and virgin peasant.
We add a touch of sugar,
spring water,
and a pinch of wine yeast.
We take our time...
..fermenting for 30 long minutes.
Excellent choice, sir.
Quietly maturing for almost a quarter of an hour.
From the Earth to your mouth via our fee...
From the Earth to your mouth via our feet.
Pinot Gregio.
It's wine, it's elaborate.
It's vin elaborate.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I mean, it seems that you've learnt from the last series, Richard.
A, you've learnt to suck up to me, which I appreciate.
And B, you've learnt not to do shit stuff.
What was the vineyard called?
Erm, Task Mastere. Correct!
LAUGHTER
Sure, look, you can interpret it as a man standing on a grape.
With quite a detailed close-up of his horrible old foot. Yeah.
You could've stopped it at that. Really upsetting.
I think it's the best thing you've ever done in your life.
Who's next? There is just one more champion left,
and it's Series Seven's Kerry Godliman. Woohoo!
SHE BREATHES HEAVILY
SHE SIGHS
Grape.
Yes, Kerry.
So in your narrative, we're to believe that
James Acaster rolled it off his table
and it attached itself to a balloon.
It had a journey and I don't remember that detail.
Is that his thing he likes?
There isn't a backstory like what you've got with the dog.
WHISPERS: I made mine up. OK, yes...
You what?! Yeah. Right then.
James is my grape gimp
and when I ring him...
When I ring him, I go, "Grape,"
and then he transports a grape to me in some way.
So James Acaster's the Grape Gimp. Yeah.
And the grape came down a bit of guttering
and into your mouth. Lovely.
You've seen all the grapes.
Right. Why don't I go from the five points, from the top.
Ooh. So we'll start with the climax and then really just fade.
We can go the other way if you want. No, no.
If you want to be a fucking dick about it. Pardon?
So who's the winner?
Taking home five points,
and I don't think anyone's going to argue with me,
it's Richard Herring. Hey.
I'm going to give four points to Kerry Godliman.
Three points to Liza Tarbuck.
Thanks very much. I enjoyed all five.
I'm awarding these two two points each. It's done.
There. Two points for each. It's over.
That's five points to Richard Herring.
Scoreboard, please.
Well, the two men are out on the front at the moment.
Ed's on seven, but Richard's in the lead with nine points.
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Whatever did they do next?
Well, they went to the seaside and they made lots of holes.
Ooh. Oh, hi.
Hi, Lou. Hi.
I've been told to put another pinny on.
But when I explained that I was wearing a pinny,
they said I need to protect my pinny.
So now I'm in double pinny. Pinny chaos.
You look ready for action.
So ready for action. Do you like it?
I can't remember if you're good at art or not.
I am really, really bad at art. That's it.
Hi, Liza, you look well. Thanks.
"Cut holes in and create a scene on this board...
"So that when you and Alex stick parts of your body
"through the holes...
"The holes it..."
The holes, it looks wonderful. SHE LAUGHS
"When you and Alex stick parts of your body through the holes,
"it looks wonderful.
"Most wonderful scene wins.
"You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now."
Now I have to think with my head.
I'm not going to put your bum in it.
So just rule that right out. We've been down that road.
Well, I've seen this sort of thing on TikTok.
What is TikTok?
Uh, yeah, exactly.
"And I say to myself, what a wonderful world."
What's in that song? Fields of green.
This is quite good that I'm on the skates. Is it?
Yeah, because I'm going to get it done quicker.
Have you ever been a turtle before?
Not, not in this life, no. I've been a human.
Yeah, big hole, big hole.
I've had a blank on what animals look like.
What colour should I do the bum face?
I want it totally naked,
and I'd like your foot in a beautiful high-heeled shoe.
I'm only worried about Bum Face.
Yeah, me too. Right, you've got three minutes left of painting.
What? Whoa.
It's only when you stand back and look at it,
you realise quite how bad it is.
You look good there. It's really noble.
Trouser coming down.
Oh, God.
Smile. You're happy. You're a dolphin.
Push it in more.
Push it in more? Push it right in. I want the whole cheek.
Do you do you mean push it out? Push the cheek into the hole.
Alex, keep your mouth shut.
WHISTLE BLOWS That's your time up, Richard.
Right, thanks, Kerry. Have we done every hole?
Feels like it.
Careful on those skates. Easy.
Thank you, Liza. Pleasure. Thanks.
Lou, the whole roller skating thing,
I'm sort of intrigued to ask you about that as a...
A midlife crisis. Yeah.
On social media, I see you pop up roller skating from time to time.
You've never liked a video.
I haven't, no.
Well, if I wore them on TV, it's tax deductible.
So that's why I wore them that.
Who's laughing now? Yeah.
Kerry, you were struggling to get both buttocks through the, uh,
holes of the character Bum Face
that you repeatedly referred to.
Yeah. Feel a bit ashamed of myself now.
But I said that to Liza, and she said, "But he likes it."
Seventh time in the show's history. That's what I mean.
I knew it was your brand to get your arse out, so...
Yeah. Weirdly it is, yeah.
We'll have to wait until after the break to see their cut-outs
and then it won't be long until we find our ultra champion.
Will Kerry Godliman win another trophy
to throw into her garage with the rest of the stuff
she doesn't care about?
Only time will tell.
Hello, and welcome back to Champion of Champions.
A new task was under way before the break.
Yes, the champs were making one of those seaside cut-out things
that are supposed to look wonderful
when body parts are stuck through them.
They're exactly my sort of thing.
So now let's see them all.
First of all, here is Kerry's picture.
I don't want people to zoom in cos there's
a little mark on one of my bum... On your buttocks. We all saw it.
On my buttocks. Yeah.
But it was a little bit of brown paint, unfortunately.
ALL LAUGH
That's good. LIZA: That is good.
Is it wonderful?
Yeah. It's a wonderful world. Yeah. I see trees of green there.
Trees of green. Yeah. Babies. Babies.
Can I draw attention to my bunch of noses?
RICHARD: Oh, that's good.
Ooh, how wonderful.
That's a flower that can smell you. That is awesome.
Oh, yeah.
Can I find out more about Bum Face? Yeah.
Is it a moose?
I don't know. I haven't thought it through.
It's just an apocalyptic nightmare.
Compare that with Richard Herring's effort. Here we go.
Here we go. This is wonderful.
Oh.
Aw, you were really riding a wave, Rich, for a while.
With that whole grape thing.
Greg, what do you think it is?
A giant pumpkin with the severed limbs surrounding it.
It's a beautiful octopus.
Yeah. Squirting ink over the other contestants.
LIZA: Ooh. Horrible.
While I have the Champion of Champions trophy over there.
Yeah. You look like something from The Shining.
Before I saw any more, I thought,
"Well, nothing's going to be less wonderful
"than Alex's arse through a deer's nose."
Now this.
Where's the wonderful bit?
Kerry, come on, mate.
Come on, mate.
He's down, mate.
You might just have scraped above this pile of shit.
But pipe down.
Wonderful's the word we're looking for, right?
You're looking for wonderful. Right.
Do you see it in Lou's picture? OK.
Why is everyone laughing?
Well, maybe there is some wonder in there, I think.
There's wonder. It's a dolphin,
it's a turtle, there's a seahorse.
Seahorse. I love watching seahorses in their natural habitat,
licking their big lips.
And then the sunshine.
I do think, for the first time, in the ones that have been revealed,
there's an element of wonder in this picture. What?
Thank you. There is there fucking is, Kerry.
You can see it.
There's so much wonder there. Are you kidding me?
I've so missed this!
Shall we have a look at Ed Gamble's... Ooh, Christ.
..wonderful scene? Here it is.
Jesus Christ.
He ran out of room, but it says, "Evil butcher."
He slightly misjudged the space there.
It's pretty graphic.
I'm a big fan of heavy metal and horror films.
Yeah. And if I see a good horror film,
I see a good heavy metal album cover,
I go, "Whoa, that is wonderful actually."
Do you? If I go and see a heavy metal band,
they'll come out and they'll play a song,
and I'll go, "That was a wonderful song."
I mean, what I will say is it makes sense.
LAUGHTER
What? And I don't think it's an act of madness.
What do you mean? This is... What.
This is butchery. How can you defend...?
It's blood, it's carnage. Mine's got babies.
All of the characters in your painting are collectively going,
"Kill me."
Liza, you can save this.
I hope so.
Have a look at this.
LOU: Ooh. That's really good.
LIZA: It's The Alpine Darling.
That's art.
LOU: Is that Alex's leg? Cos it's gorge. Yeah, gorgeous.
You've got a lovely pin on you.
Yeah, my right one is lovely. The other one is...
It's withered, yeah. Withered.
Having s... I know who I'm taking to Pompeii.
I was a bit gutted the trees weren't better but, you know.
ED: They're great.
Oh, that's like when someone smashes an exam,
"I didn't get an A, I didn't get an A."
There's someone in every year, wasn't there? "Mine's shit."
Yeah. "I didn't revise."
RICHARD: Kerry.
Don't waste our breath arguing over this.
No, no, no. I can give you the points now.
How are you scoring it, Rich?
I'm one. Yeah.
Uh, Kerry - two. Liza - five.
And?
Four. I'm obviously four.
Four, three.
I mean, that is, I promise you, exactly as I planned. No, no, no.
So five to Liza Tarbuck. There it is.
Right, what has been saved for last
in this historic clash of the titans?
Well, this is a task to test them on everything they've learnt
during their time on Taskmaster. It's fiendish, it's frustrating,
and it's canard.
Which is duck in French.
Would you like to enter the VIP zone?
Ooh, lovely.
This is very nice.
"Get this duck into that pond."
What pond?
There's a pond in the garden.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
DRAMATIC CHORAL MUSIC
I hadn't even seen that. Look at that.
Oh, wow.
That is off-the-scale.
It's got a really aggressive face.
He looks like Lenin.
"Get this duck into that pond.
"The duck must be launched from behind this rope,
"and you must stay behind this rope during its journey.
"You may not move the rope or the pond.
KERRY: "Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
How...?
I mean... I can't just chuck it.
Will you go get that, please?
That was hard, that one.
I just want to crack on with it, that's what I'm thinking.
Well, he's cute, he's fun.
Let's see him now. It's Ed Gamble's attempt.
Do you think I can build a river?
Think I can sail the duck all the way down?
Some other people might do something similar, so speed is the...
Yes, you're running very fast.
Sorry.
Right, I'm going to send the duck down
just to see what happens, OK?
He's going.
Is he moving? He's stopped.
Are we going to do this?
Ahh... Ahh.
Oh, shit!
CREAKING
Is he still moving forward, Alex?
Backwards now.
Ahh.
Oh, man!
Chill out, Ed.
I can't chill out, I want this to work.
We're approaching the half hour mark.
HE GROANS
You understand I can't give up now.
Careful.
I mean, I don't know how I'm going to get the water up there now.
Oh!
Good luck, Ed.
I mean, technically I guess I've moved the rope there.
What I'm going to do to make sure that I don't get penalised for it
is I'm going to move it even further back.
We go again.
Oh.
Come on.
And that's going to be an issue as well, isn't it?
ALEX CHUCKLES
Just is the worst day of my life now.
HE GRUMBLES
It started off quite promising, I thought.
That was a long time ago.
The only way I get out of this with any dignity
is if I die right now.
Is he there, Alex?
He's in the tunnel.
Where is he?
Get this duck into that pond.
What duck?
Stop the clock.
Oh. Clock stopped. Thanks, Ed.
What he said was, "Put the duck in the pond. What duck?"
He's claiming to have destroyed any evidence of the duck.
Destroyed the duck.
Buried it in two separate locations so it can't haunt...haunt me.
The problem is, Ed, I know a dog that can find that duck.
The thing that struck me about it is,
for the first couple of minutes,
I thought, "This is just an engineer at his prime."
Yeah. Oh, we all did.
It really did start to unravel after that initial feeling of hope.
Yeah. Uh, all fun went out after the first hour.
Yeah. It was... What?
How long was he there?
Uh, 97 minutes and nine seconds, and he still didn't do it.
It was 97 minutes of utterly wasted time.
And nine seconds.
I've never seen such a well-dressed loser though.
Thank you.
And...and afterwards, were you genuinely angry?
I believe that was quite early on in...
That was quite early on in the day, that was before lunch,
uh, so if you needed the dog thing explaining, that's why I did that.
He pulled out all the stops.
OK, well, next up, it's two people
that share the same hairdresser.
It's Richard and Lou.
Oh.
Oh, Alex, can you go and put that in the pond?
No.
Oh.
I mean, it's impossible, surely.
Does that help?
That'll get it that far.
What's happening now?
Lasso kind of thing.
Tape the ducky on.
There's a k... There's a key to this that I'm missing.
Ah, hello.
Look, I found a key.
It's on the man.
Right, I've got this. I've got this.
It's a pulley system.
You'd think I'd know that.
I love pulleys.
Yes, OK.
Ah, OK, I've got a rat remote control.
I've got no rat.
I can hear something.
I've got a rat.
So let's see if it will stay on.
Go forwards, you stupid rat.
The duck was behind the line.
We've got to get him in.
Her. Could be a she.
Yeah!
I'll stop the clock. Congratulations, Lou.
Lovely to work with you.
No...
Now stop the clock.
Less of a nervous breakdown for both people.
Job done. Went pretty well.
Yeah. All right. You started tossing the ducks,
and then you worked out a pulley system. Mm.
We know I love a pulley system, you've seen it earlier. Mm. Mm.
What about the all the timings?
The timings were impressive.
I mean, Lou completed it in 15 minutes and 45 seconds.
Oh, wow. That's good.
APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH
That's not even long enough for Ed Gamble to start a breakdown.
Richard managed it in 24 minutes and 20 seconds.
Ahh. Second place at the moment.
Break time. The new Champion of Champions will be crowned
right after these adverts.
Hope there's the one with
the supermarket who helps save us all money by making us scan and pack
the things we've bought from them. Wake up. The Terminator is here.
Hello. Here we are then.
Welcome back to the final part
of Taskmaster Champion of Champions.
Time to wrap up the current task.
Yes, and they're trying to get a little duck back into its pond.
We left some handy chutes lying around
and put the tap near the starting line.
We also left rope and a radio-controlled rat.
We basically did everything we could to make it achievable.
Finally, then, it's LK today. Liza and Kerry.
I'm never going to get it in.
LIZA: Are you able to steer it?
Maybe. I've never sat in it before.
Ooh, let's have a little go of you steering it coming down there.
Really upsetting. C...cover his face.
Don't forget, I live with Greg's face. It's in my house.
In your garage?
It's in my garage.
And we attach the duck behind you, like a tail.
Yeah, that's an issue, isn't it?
Massive bobbin.
So I'm going to put it in.
In?
In the bobbin.
Right.
That was really close.
It's not happening, is it?
Has anyone got a motorbike?
I do have a car.
Just securing the duck. And wedge it underneath here.
Right, I'm going further left.
Come on.
Didn't go in.
I know.
Now it's going to go into the c...
Right, you ready, Alex?
I'm ready.
Off we go. Fly, my beauty.
Ooh!
We did it.
OK. This is it.
I'm going to manifest it in.
It's in the pond.
Hoo, hoo.
Bosh.
It always delights me
when I think that Alex is in danger during these things,
and you made sure of that on two counts. Well done.
You pleased? Oh, I loved the look of it.
Well, it was we had a lovely time, didn't we? You got a car into it.
Yeah. You looked genuinely frightened.
Well, it's just the handbrake, not the engine.
Oh, no, I meant in the trolley.
Oh, I liked the trolley.
You weren't scared of the trolley? I often travel by trolley.
Kerry's system, throughout the series that she won,
and now, is she chooses a system quickly,
and then she stands by it.
Sticks to the brief.
And it's lovely to see a roomful of people
genuinely cheering for a giant bobbin. Yes.
Pushed into a pond. Yeah.
My instinct is that, uh, Tarbuck struck gold again.
But I could be wrong.
Well, so far, Lou, of course - 15 minutes, 45.
Richard - 24, 20.
Uh, Liza - 23, 10.
Oh, hello!
Ooh. The bobbin takes it.
The bobbin does take silver medal.
16 minutes, 40, so, uh...
So Lou gets five points, four to Kerry,
three to Liza, two to Richard.
Ed never completed the task.
Would you like him to get a point?
Give the man a point.
One point to Ed Gamble.
OK, everybody,
will you please make your way to the stage for the final final task.
It's very exciting, Greg.
There's three people on joint second place.
And any one of the five could still win.
You better get someone to read the task out, haven't you?
I'm going to get me to read the task out.
Hello. Ooh.
Oh, hello.
"Pack either five bricks or five balloons in your bag.
"One at a time,
"you must then walk across the stage
"and place your bag on the circle near the Taskmaster,
"who will guess whether you were packing bricks or balloons.
"If he guesses correctly, you are eliminated.
"If you deceive him, you qualify for another round.
"Most deceptions wins.
"You will have 100 seconds to pack your bag."
There is only one winner of this task.
The last person standing wins five points.
Wow.Your time starts... WHISTLE BLOWS
Don't watch us though.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, stop looking at us.
Oh, yeah.
I can hear balloons.
Do...do zip up your case.
You must zip up your case within the 100 seconds.
BALLOON POPS
I think Ed's going bricks.
It still counts if a balloon popped or not.
Ah. 12 seconds, everyone.
We've lost two of the contestants.
WHISTLE BLOWS
Are you ready, Greg?
I am ready. Thank you.
I'm going to ask Ed Gamble to step onto the walking circle.
Good luck, Ed.
# Balloon... #
He's singing balloon, I think.
# Brick
# Balloon or brick? #
Ooh, that's a clever move.
I'm all packed for Pompeii, baby.
I think that Ed Gamble is packing balloons.
So when I say I'm packed for Pompeii...
..just want to let you know
that I'll be paying for my own ticket.
OK, we have lost Ed Gamble.
Sorry, Ed Gamble.
Please make your way around the back to your own spot.
Ed Gamble's completely eliminated.
Kerry, please bring your bag of mystery to the walking circle.
Ooh, get those heavy balloons around here.
Fucking hell, Kerry.
Ooh.
On the circle, please, Kerry.
This is a key moment, I think.
SHE STRAINS
SHE GRIMACES
Greg, it's time to judge. What's she packing?
Balloons.
Fuck you.
Unbelievable.
I take my fucking face off.
I just knew it would be literal. I knew it.
I think it's really hard.
All right. Liza Tarbuck,
it's your time to step to the walking circle.
Ooh.
Oh, it's an interesting old lady.
Ooh, what's in there, Gregory?
Hello.
Ooh.
What, here?
Yes, please. Yes, please.
Oh, there you go.
Ooh. Get on it.
Woman's got bricks in that bag.
Liza, please open your bag. Have I?
She has bricks!
She has bricks.
Wow. Lou is on her way, here she comes.
Poise. The poise.
ED: Yes. Yes.
The speed. Lovely. Lovely.
For the first time, I genuinely don't know.
SHE SCREAMS
Balloons.
Guess again.
Balloons.
Yes.
Yes, we've lost another contestant.
Are you ready for Richard?
Yeah. Thing is, he really put...
It's quite weird.
Oh, the mouth. The mouth.
All I'm looking at is his mouth.
Lovely technique. Lovely technique.
Completely silent.
I'm going to say the man's got bricks in there.
Ed, you shouldn't have given up so quickly, mate, cos, uh...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Come down, we'll see how that's affected the final scores.
51 hours of task-filled television
has brought us to this pivotal point in Taskmaster history.
Each competitor is a worthy winner.
Nay, each competitor is a winner.
But only one had the edge tonight when it really mattered.
Alex, tell us the final scores.
Well, Ed came last.
Yay.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
What? I'm quite surprised.
Yes, he got 11 points,
but he didn't get the duck in the pond, unfortunately. Ooh.
Lou and Kerry - joint third with 12 points.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Liza Tarbuck, so close.
14 points, a clear second.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
But the winner accumulated a huge 17 points.
Richard Herring is the new Champion of Champions.
Please go and collect your wow-worthy prizes
and your Taskmaster trophy.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
CHEERING
Subtitles by Red Bee Media