Hello all!
Are you happy with that?
I actually am.
SHUT UP, MARKL!
Eat it!
It was a pleasure meeting you.
You want some tube?
Inês farted!
"Forever Connected"
Inês! Inês! Inês!
Good evening everyone! I'm Vasco Palmeirim, and welcome to Taskmaster!
Here in our theatre, and there at home.
Welcome to Taskmaster, the ultimate challenge
for five little souls who have already given a lot to this country.
They've made us laugh, they've made us sing
they've made us feel something inside.
So now it's time for them to suffer from the challenges of this Taskmaster.
And now would be the time to introduce the man that sits by my side.
Someone I've known since 2009:
The year that Barack Obama took office as President.
The year of the Influenza A [H1N1] pandemic.
And most importantly, the year that Hannah Montana hit the movie theatres.
Ladies and Gentlemen, show some love for Nuno Markl!
Thanks.
Thank you, thank you so much.
Nuno, today I want to ask you the following question:
How are you tonight?
I'm fine. I was in my dressing room playing Sudoku
against a member of the production crew, Rafa.
I was playing Sudoku against him.
- Wait, Sudoku against someone? - Yes, Yes.
I sank both his submarines and his aircraft carrier.
- I'm sorry? - Yeah, and in the end I captured his queen.
I've already challenged him to Scrabble next week.
I'm so good at drawing! He's screwed!
As usual, in the first chair,
a woman who has confessed that for a long time,
she took baths in her apartment with the window wide open.
To the entire world, she's Inês, but to the neighbors,
she's the kinky girl from the third floor.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Inês Aires Pereira!
Up next, a young man who grew up during Angola's Civil War.
He went through so much that he made a show called Immortal.
About that topic, Gilmário says that if he has to die,
don't make him run, because he doesn't want to die tired.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Gilmário Vemba!
Next to Gilmário, we have a women who speaks openly about everything.
She has spoken about the libido of a postpartum woman,
and she has confessed that her son was conceived on Diogo's couch. [Diogo Amaral; actor/model]
Hi Diogo, how are you? [Diogo Amaral; actor/model]
And now is when the people who have sat on that couch
over the last three years will say: "Ewww!"
Ladies and Gentlemen, Jessica Athayde!
The artist who, as we have mentioned before, was early in almost everything.
And now, don't try this at home, okay little ones?
Toy was 13 when he drank too much for the first time.
13. He went to the hospital, and when he woke up at home he said, "I want seafood."
- [Markl] Okay. - [Vasco] As my Aunt Helena used to say:
"After getting wasted, a crab is well tasted."
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Toy!
And our guest tonight is one of the big ones.
One of the biggest musical acts in the country,
and one of my favorite people.
She started in Popeline, and was even in Onda Choc [90s child/teen singing groups]
despite having an audition with a 40ºC fever
that left our mythical Ana Faria in shock. [well-known children's singer; retired]
- Dear God. - Ana.
Get ready to see the tasks done by this woman today
and then, trust me, you'll be shocked.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Marisa Liz!
- Hello, Marisa! - Hello, Vasco! And Nuno!
What's that face, what's up with that "what am I doing here" face?
Dear God, I've watched Marisa do stuff.
I also saw myself doing stuff I couldn't imagine.
Are you ready to see what you've done?
- And what the others have done? - I want to apologize
to my family and my friends.
I think that's a nice way for us to start.
Tradition says that I should start the show awarding points to these five souls.
But take care, the points that I award, as you know
are always dependent on objects that they bring from their homes.
Right on point, Vasco. But it can't be just any object.
Today we've asked them to bring in, for you
the best sheep-related item.
- Say it again? - The best sheep-related item.
Easy. Basic. Something we all should have at home.
And if you don't have anything at home related to sheep,
think about what you're doing with your life.
- Inês. - I'm not one to argue.
But what on Earth is this topic?
It's a challenge for you all.
What have I thought about? I really like Christmas.
And the first thing that came to mind was a nativity scene.
[Inês] Ah...
In which... so, I'm a sheep, right?
I've been called a sheep before, on the last season of this show. [Season 1, Episode 10]
and I just think Jessica looks amazing as a cow.
[Markl] Dear God.
She's even doing a "moo."
You've killed two birds with one stone, right?
It's whatever you want.
Okay, thanks. Let's hear it for Inês Aires Pereira. Thank you, Inês.
Cute.
[Vasco] Gilmário.
I brought the best related item, not one that I've used,
it's not the best one for me, but I know that right now someone is at home
trying to sleep and doesn't have pajamas.
They're my daughter's pajamas.
Thanks Gilmário. Jessica Athayde, what have you brought?
So, I thought since you have sheep at your mansion, on your land.
Why not shear them?
- You've sheared the sheep? - I've sheared the sheep.
[Vasco] What have you brought?
- [Markl] Wool. - [Jessica] Wool.
I didn't have time to make a shirt for you.
But I'll do it for Christmas.
Thank you. Jessica Athayde and her wool.
[Markl] Wool.
[Vasco] Toy.
I was going to bring cheese, but I ate it.
[Markl] On your way over.
Nothing better related to sheep than the shepherd.
I brought a shepherd.
[Inês] Wait, I think he actually brought one!
[Jessica] Hang on a minute!
- I brought the shepherd. - I've seen this man!
He brought this man, he brought the shepherd.
Now wait, whoever wins doesn't have to take the shepherd.
- You can get the staff... or just his services. - That man has a family!
- You brought the shepherd? - I did.
- He's here at the theatre? - He is.
[Vasco] Thank you for that. Give it up for Toy and his shepherd.
[Marisa] Well done.
- [Markl] An actual shepherd is where we're at now. - Marisa, do you have a shepherd?
No.
No, but I've done something really stupid.
- You're on the right show. - Yeah.
So, I thought about it. Not much, I'll be honest.
And I thought that the closest thing I had to a sheep
was right in front of me.
So I made an entire... It isn't a collection.
The collection will come out next year.
This is just my first piece on my model.
It seems more like a sheep than anything else.
[Markl] And just like the shepherd, he's also here.
It's Shaun the Sheep.
- [Vasco] It's your male or female dog? - [Marisa] My female dog.
- [Vasco] She's called? - Her name's Pantera.
- [Vasco] She's called Pantera. - She happens to be
- a dog of many talents. - A dog that's a sheep called Pantera.
A dog dressed as a sheep, called Pantera. Top.
[Vasco] Let's award points.
- [Vasco] Let's award points. - [Markl] Let's do it.
I'm really happy with what I've seen.
- [Vasco] Toy gets 5 points. - [Jessica] Of course.
Or else I would hit you with the staff.
Nice one, Toy.
Tell me something, Marisa:
Will you be having the same competitive attitude as the others?
- No, I won't. - No?
- I agree with you. 5 points for Toy! - [Inês] Or we'd have a problem!
I'm really happy!
- Marisa, you get 4. - Thank you, Vasco.
"Oh, I've put stuff on the little dog."
I love it.
So, just because you spoke.
- No, I'm sorry! No! - Gilmário 3, Inês 2!
- The pajamas are shi... - Jessica Athayde, 1 point!
[Vasco] This is how we'll start.
- The pajamas? The pajamas! - [Gilmário] Easy, easy!
- [Jessica] Just one thing! - [Vasco] Tell me.
- Toy, you handle that side, I'll handle this one. - I was the cow in her nativity scene...
[Gilmário] So nothing will happen. Good luck.
The cow in her nativity scene and I only get 1?
- Gilmário at home: "Related to sheep..." - [Markl] I wouldn't want to be over there.
"Hey daughter, you have those sheep pajamas. I'll bring them."
They got what they deserved. First, playing with Jesus like that isn't right.
Then, in the middle of a show, calling her friend a cow. No need for that!
But it's only because I was called a sheep!
[In Spanish] Let's begin with the field tasks.
And what are we starting with? Tell us everything.
Well, Vasco, we know that the contestants on this show
often get headaches while doing the tasks.
- Right? - Right.
But in this case, the headaches started upon reading the task.
All because of a pipe and a box.
Cheers, Gilmário.
This room gives me the creeps.
There's normally something hard to accomplish
and really nasty to do.
What's up?
It smells bad in here, like stinky feet.
- Markl! - It's not me.
My feet are clean. You could eat off of my feet.
Show me!
No, I'm joking. I don't want to see that.
"Get the pipe through the box"
"and everything in it"
"and then get the box and everything in it through the pipe."
Huh?
"Get the pipe through the box and everything in it"
"and then get the box and everything in it through the pipe."
"Or..."
Right? There's another option. "Or..."
"get the box and everything in it through the pipe"
"and then get the pipe through the box and everything in it."
[Markl] Right, Gilmário.
"...then get the box and everything--"
Why don't you go fuc...
[Markl] I thought you'd like it.
Yes.
That little rambling.
So many "pipes," so many "boxes," so many "everything in it."
- My God. - I've got it.
Good!
"Fastest wins. Your time starts now!"
Marisa, any doubts?
[Vasco] Thank you, Marisa.
[Vasco] Who do we begin with?
Let's begin with three people who say the word "pipe" 15 times
and the word "box" 18 times.
Jessica, Gilmário, and Toy.
"Get the pipe through the box and everything in it"
"then get the box and everything in it through the pipe."
So, I get the pipe through the box
Right? And everything in the box through...
Through the box!
I'll first get the "everything" through the pipe and then...
Damn. It's not that easy.
And everything in the box.
And everything in the box...
through the box too.
[Markl] Or...
I don't know if I'm doing it right, but...
That's everything in the box.
"And then, the box and everything in it..."
"through the pipe."
The box has to go through the pipe.
You're pulling my leg. Help me a bit, shed some light.
I wanna see this.
So, this already got through.
Since I don't really get it, I'll put everything through at once.
If one does it wrong, that's not because someone wrote it badly, is it?
- Is it through? - [Markl] Yes.
[Vasco] I love those pauses Jessica makes.
- Is it through? - Got everything through the pipe, right?
- Now the box. - Now the pipe must go...
...through everything.
So, everything has been through the pipe.
I should have gotten the pipe through the box.
- Nuno. Markl. - Want to start again from scratch?
"Get the pipe through the box"
"and everything in it."
Right.
The box.
I need a vacation after this.
This is frying my head, but...
You mean, it's like this?
This?
Is this what you want?
Like this?
You know, Toy is already old...
You think he'll be confused?
Sure, and rightfully so.
If I'm struggling, as young as I am...
[Inês] Ah, Jesus!
[Inês] Look, look.
Toy's face!
Now how does this get through?
Is this really what you want?
Not even my finger goes through.
I won't say what this looks like.
[Markl] Right. Right.
Is it through?
It is.
Now the box. Through the pipe.
- 'Cause the pipe has been through the box. - [Markl] Right.
Okay!
Blow the whistle.
Task done.
Techniques!
Here's your pipe!
We don't have to clean up, right?
That was fascinating, right?
- A fascinating exercise. - Yes, sir!
[Vasco] Before we speak,
clap if you thought Gilmario would
get the table through the pipe.
[Vasco] Thank you.
[Markl] He could do it.
- He could. - He could.
It would be magical. If the task said that,
I swear the table would go through.
Toy got the box through the pipe,
Toy got the objects through the pipe,
and at some point, I thought, "Toy will smoke the pipe."
- Good task, dear Toy? - I though it was a good task.
- You think? - I'm sure.
- Absolutely certain, right? - Sure.
Your last line was "Who'd say I haven't done this my whole life?"
Sure, cause I got the pipe through everything,
and everything through it.
- Everything in it. - And everything in it.
Sure.
Jessica. I think that the world gets happier
when you genuinely get happier by finishing a task.
- [Markl] True. - I think you did well.
I think so. I got everything through the pipe, the pipe through the box...
I think... Yeah.
After this trio, we have ahead of us, let me think...
- two contestants. - Exactly, but...
Let's see them separately.
First, the task of Inês Aires Pereira.
I was surprised by the agility.
- From Inês? - No, Vasco. From myself.
- [Markl] Do you get it? - [Inês] I do. Now...
You'll get the pipe through the box and everything...
I'll open the box, okay?
I just realised that it could have something in it.
Hang on.
Ah, nice.
I'll first get the pipe through the box.
And everything in it.
Get the box through the pipe...
[Markl] And everything in it.
Okay, the box.
Okay.
[Markl] I never learn.
[Inês] Markl...
Ah, sorry!
- I was hitting you with the pipe? - Yes.
I was hoping this would have Markl's face here.
- On the underpants? - Yes.
That'd be good merchandising.
[Markl] Frightening.
Okay.
Oh, Markl! Were you standing there?
- There. And now? - And now?
Right?
Yes.
Is it going?
[Inês] Oh, what happened?
I can see one of the sticks.
But the sponge is still way back.
I'm beginning to get pissed off.
It's still--
SHUT UP, MARKL!
What's going on?
It's blocked.
[Gilmário] "It's blocked."
I'll get the thing from the garden!
Sorry.
Damn, nobody on this crew helps me.
I'll tell you what...
Damn.
I'm holding it.
DAMN!
Damn!
Damn.
Stop the clock!
That was an afternoon well-spent.
Inês, tell me everything.
It was a struggle. I was struggling.
- [Markl] It was, it was. - [Vasco] Nobody noticed.
It was my biggest struggle ever.
Why did you tell Markl to shut up?
- Markl was helping you. - No.
Of course he was not helping.
His voice only would never help. Only undermine me.
I hit a point where...
- I think it was over half an hour. - [Vasco] We'll soon see.
But it's good that you have a sense of time.
- Now. There's only one left. - I need to say something.
- [Vasco] Say it, Marisa. - [Markl] Calm down, Marisa.
I think I was the only one that did not understand what we had to do.
I am very proud of you all.
- Nuno, how did our guest behave? - I'll answer with a question:
Have you seen the film Mulholland Drive, by David Lynch?
Yes, but when it was over I wondered if I actually understood any of it.
That could just as well be said about Marisa Liz's task.
So, I have to put this inside the pipe.
And the box?
No, I must get the pipe through the box, so I need to cut this.
So, the pipe is through the box.
"Get the pipe through the box and everything in it."
It's done. Right? I just have to put this inside here.
Okay? One.
And if I shove everything in here it's done, right?
[Marisa] That's it, right?
Oh Mom, I'm sorry!
Isn't this right?
Or am I missing something?
"Get the pipe through box." Okay.
"And everything in it." And everything in it.
I put all this inside it.
"Then get the box..."
Then the box where?
"And everything in it through the pipe."
Well...
Ta-da!
The pipe through the box.
And everything in it, inside the pipe.
Now I can even close the box.
There. It's done.
[Vasco] That's what was missing, Marisa!
That's it. Isn't it?
"And then the box...?"
Ah, damn!
Wait, the box's missing? It can't be.
That's it?
No, because the pipe can't go through the box
if the box goes through the pipe.
No, this makes no sense.
But in my head, nothing makes sense.
So that's it.
I'm done.
[Markl] So cool.
I think I'm right.
[Markl] That's not quite a defeat, Marisa.
It's just a kind of remix of the task, okay?
It's all about perspective.
- Mine was that. - It was.
- [Marisa] And it's right. - Is it?
No?
All right, we have seen the tasks.
- [Markl] Want to know the times? - I want to know the times...
And who did it right and who did it wrong.
- Maybe let's begin with Marisa. - [Vasco] Yes, sounds like a good starting point.
Marisa took 3m58s, but completely failed to interpret the task.
- She created her own rules... - Yes.
- ...which is interesting. - Yes.
But I don't know if it's points-worthy.
- Let me think. No. - Okay.
All the others managed to complete it. Inês took 36m2s.
Jessica finished in 16m49s. Gilmário in 11m48s.
And Toy in 10m47s.
[Vasco] Well done!
That means Marisa will get 1 point in this task.
I'm sorry, Marisa. 2 points for Inês,
3 points to Jessica,
4 to Gilmário and 5 to Toy.
Toy with a maximum 10 points,
Gilmário with 7 points,
Marisa in the middle with 5,
and tied with 4 points are Inês and Jessica.
[Vasco] A round of applause!
Nuno, what's the next task?
This task has the fundamental message
of giving to each other.
[Vasco] I like it. Give what? Love, affection, a friendly word?
No.
Giving someone else a fruit that is terrified by the sight of Toy.
It is! It is!
[Toy] You go first.
Toy, you farted!
No, that was your foot!
Hey! Hey!
[Gilmário] Ladies and Gentlemens...
[Gilmário] Madames et Monsieurs... Senhoras e Senhores.
I'm not strong enough for this.
Inês farted!
It was like, "bruum!"
At least on TV, there's no smell.
I'm getting dressed before... before we start.
Memories of Toy!
Watermelon, Toy! Revival.
"Eat as much watermelon as you can."
"The watermelons must not leave the lab."
"You must be wearing the protective suit"
"and goggles throughout the task."
"You must not feed yourself."
You need to feed me, and I'll feed you.
- [Jessica] This will be disgusting. - "You have four minutes."
- "Your time starts now!" - Let's go.
- I'm not strong enough to open this. - [Marisa] I can't open it.
- I already have a tactic. - Yeah? So...
Oh. Toy's. Well, go ahead.
Team Tasks, one of the things debuting in Taskmaster Season 2.
It's true. Season 1 viewers know that Toy attacks watermelons
like vultures attack human bodies in the Atacama Desert.
But those who think he has an advantage, beware.
The watermelon wasn't for his mouth. It was for another's mouth.
Nuno, my question... Was there wallowing?
What? No... Wallowing?
Wal... Wal... But... But...
But why?
These contestants are worthy people!
There wasn't any wallowing.
- Nothing, not even a little? - Nothing.
- My lab stayed immaculate? - Impeccable.
That said, let's see the table manners
of Gilmário, Jessica, and Marisa Liz.
[Marisa] Go.
- Are you going to wear this, or not? - Easy! Be careful!
Are you okay?
I can't wear this with tennis shoes.
- Are these suits inside out? - Yeah, they are.
Okay, go. You're using up our four minutes just getting dressed, Gilmário.
Mine's totally shredded.
- [Gilmário] Mine too. - [Marisa] Oh, almost forgot this. - [Jessica] Okay, let's try this.
- Not here, stay over there. - No, not yet!
Hey!
- Calm down, Gilmário. - This is really aggressive.
But now--
Gilmário!
Let's go!
[Marisa] Sorry.
I can't eat!
You can't feed yourself!
Wait, wait! Give it to me.
I don't know whose watermelon this is.
Keep going, Liz.
[Gilmário] Don't move it.
- But who's keeping track of the time? - [Gilmário] Go!
[Markl] One minute.
- Stop it! - [Markl] Okay.
I liked watermelon before this, but I don't think I do anymore.
- Oh, if you like these, it's so random. - [Marisa in task] Thanks!
[Gilmario] Oh my God!
[Jessica] I can't even imagine Toy doing this!
[Jessica] Imagine Toy! Thank God I'm not with Toy!
That was amazing.
[Jessica] Forever connected.
Oh, my God.
- [Marisa] Forever connected. - [Markl] A lot of watermelon was eaten.
- [Inês] Hah! "Forever connected." - [Vasco] My dears, what amazing teamwork.
[Marisa] Thanks.
[Vasco] You were almost... I saw tears.
This task made you emotional, didn't it?
It was...
It was very intense.
One of my favorite parts of this wallowing mess
was when Jessica initiated the hostilities.
Jessica reminded me of Satan
giving food to two creatures from Hell.
- [Markl] Yes. - [Vasco] And she said "EAT!"
- [Markl] It looked like an old painting. - [Vasco] But at the same time,
she looked like Our Lady of Fátima.
- [Markl] Strange. - [Vasco] Very strange.
Am I the only person who thought it was a little sexy?
Was I the only one? I thought it was super sexy. - [Markl] It makes sense.
- Also, I felt like when they left the studio they were different. - They were, or weren't?
And maybe the next morning they woke up and thought...
I just realised there was a watermelon piece I tried to give Marisa,
and just she went, "URRRGH!"
And so I gave it directly to Jessica.
My God...
It's very important that we all remember
that this task was not about time, but about eating watermelon.
- Who ate the most? - Yes.
I have the data about the watermelon ingested by these unfortunate people.
- Yes. - The total amount eaten was 1.686 kg.
- [Vasco] That's not bad. - Which is an average of 562g per person.
More than half a kilo of watermelon each!
[Markl] They ate more than half a kilo of watermelon each.
And now what?
Come to us the beautiful sight
of the team of Inês AP and António Ferrão.
Inês and Toy, a collective the whole world calls...?
Inoy!
Well, there are many people thinking now,
"The first team has three mouths, this one only has two,
the first team has better odds."
I just want to remind you that one of this team's mouths belongs to Toy.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I say with all honesty:
Toy's mouth works wonders.
- And now? I'm in a dress. - Wait, how do I wear this?
- This is inside out. - Oh wait, this is inside out.
- Toy, hurry up. Toy, I'm ready. - Look at this, I'm...
What is this suit?
Sorry.
Guys, stop, come on.
Oh, look, his name's there. [like a child's name written on a tag]
One, tw--
Classic!
[Markl] Classic!
Eat it! Eat it!
Luckily they gave me you.
Oh my God... My teeth!
Gimme! Gimme!
- This is so gross... - Give me this! Give me this!
It's coming out of my nose!
[Toy] Eat!
[Markl] It's over. Time's up.
Come, my daughter, we shall leave.
Father will buy watermelons for dinner.
What must a person feel when entering a task
only to find out that it is a watermelon task with Toy?
I feel lucky that I got him.
Nothing against doing that task with the others,
but what a dream that I'm doing this with Toy.
I'd watch that on repeat. I'd watch Toy sucking down that watermelon.
Like, I was like, Thank God, what crazy luck.
Look, all of this is brilliant. It's amazing.
If I need to choose a favorite part,
everyone was laughing, but I don't think you got why.
Inês, it was because of the cold watermelon.
- My teeth! - No, no.
"My teeth!"
[Markl] But...
And Toy, totally oblivious, just yells "GIMME!"
"GIMME!"
- [Markl] He said really good things. - [Inês] And then Toy...
"Give it to me", and was like...
[Markl] "Eat it!"
I laughed more than I ate, because...
I looked at Inês and burst out laughting.
With such a full mouth. Incredible.
But we were doing both at the same time.
[Toy] In synchronicity.
Let's talk about the results.
Remind me how much watermelon was eaten by the first team.
There was an average of 562 grams eaten by each member of the other team.
- A grand total of? - A total of 1.686 kg.
- 1.686 kg. - 1.686 kg.
And now the next result was 1.394 kg.
An average of 697 grams per person.
My little watermelon!
[Marisa] Congratulations, Toy.
On team tasks, the 5 points are split between the teams.
And keeping in mind the individual average of the second team
being a little bigger,
I will divide: 3 points Inês, 3 points Toy,
and 2 points for Gilmário, for Jessica and for Marisa Liz.
[Vasco] Very good.
[Markl] Toy is still in the lead, with 13 points, then Gilmário with 9.
Tied with 7 are Inês and Marisa,
and Jessica, at last, with 6 points.
[Vasco] Everything's open!
What's next on our to-do list?
Now we're leaving the lab, and getting some fresh air.
We're going from a task where you almost didn't need to think about it,
to one where that's pretty much required.
- Monsieur Markél. - Greetings, Gilmário.
- How is my boy? - It's a beautiful day.
- How are you? - People don't hug me enough on this show.
Thank you for this.
Thank you.
- Everyday is beautiful... - That's true.
- ...when Toy is doing a task. - Ah!
Sorry, I didn't notice you.
It's okay. It's okay.
"Make something spin for the longest time possible."
"It can't be a person."
"You have 10 minutes to prepare"
"and only one try to spin the object you choose."
This, "the longest time possible"...
That's the spinning.
- But I have 10 minutes to prepare. Okay. - [Markl] Yes.
"Your time starts now."
Yes, well, Nuno, your question was: "What's in common between
a spinning top, an office chair and a roast chicken?
There it is: they spin.
They spin. Spinning was the main goal of this task.
To spin something.
But what's important is that it had to spin by itself.
And you couldn't spin a person.
Namely, me.
[Markl] I knew I would suffer, otherwise.
Then, I'll ask you who's spinning first.
Spinning first: Jessica and Toy.
Two different spinning techniques, but the object they both chose
for the task, show that the singer, born in Setúbal in 1963,
[Markl] and the actress, born in Lisbon in 1985,
are almost brothers from another mother.
What am I going to spin? And it can't be a person?
No.
I've got a plan.
This door is getting on my nerves.
If I could make a cross on top...
A cross?
Mmhmm. Glue a cross like that...
It would be some sort of... religious experience.
How much time do I have?
I've got the idea, but I'm trying to figure out the best way to execute it.
I haven't the slightest clue of what that's going to do.
Can I test it before my time runs out?
[Markl] Yes, but it won't count, obviously.
We've just learned that that wasn't a good plan.
You can start!
- It's spinning, it's spinning! - It's spinning, it's spinning.
- [Toy] It's spinning, it's spinning! - [Markl] It's spinning, it's spinning, yes.
[Toy] It's spinning!
[Toy] It's spinning.
It's spinning! It's spinning! It's spinning!
Do you know why I'm doing this?
- [Markl] I thought it was for aesthetics. - [Jessica] No.
It's still spinning.
[Toy] It's still spinning, it hasn't stopped spinning.
- Hasn't it? - No, it's not stopped yet.
It's stopped, now. It has.
[Markl] Where would we be without tape?
[Markl] Brilliant.
Dude, this has to be a dream. The things she comes up with...
Hey!
[Markl] It stopped, Toy. It's not spinning anymore.
But look. If I could have moved the hose...
[Markl] Yes.
- [Toy] It wouldn't have stopped. - [Markl] It's the thought that counts.
- I'm ready. - Okay.
- Are you happy with that? - I actually am.
[Jessica] Today hasn't been so bad.
It's still not stopped, so no need for you to...
[Jessica] It hasn't stopped, it hasn't stopped...
- [Jessica] It stopped. - [Markl] Okay.
- Thank you. - See you.
See you. Thank you.
[Marisa] Wow!
Muy bien!
Could it be?
Are you a happy girl?
I don't know... are you giving me 5 points?
- [Markl] That's what we're going to find out. - [Vasco] I don't know, I don't know. Toy?
- [Toy] Nothing worked like I expected. - [Vasco] Why?
Because, if the water had always hit the ball, laterally,
and if the ball didn't have more space...
that's why at first I chose the wheelbarrow...
But, it didn't work, it had to be in the bath.
Nuno, are there stats or not?
There are, yes, sir.
[Markl] Jessica took 40 seconds.
[Markl] She spun and spun and spun that object.
Just that?!
Toy... claims 32 seconds.
[Vasco] Claims?
In fact, if we pay attention, it stops at 16.
[Markl] We can rewatch it. Let's see.
It's spinning.
- [Toy] It's spinning. - [Vasco] And...it stopped there.
- [Markl] It stopped. - [Toy] It's spinning, it's spinning!
- [Toy] Nothing went to plan. - [Vasco] No, it didn't.
- [Jessica] That happens a lot. - [Vasco] It would spin somewhere,
then it spun to the other side, where it stopped.
- How many seconds for Toy? - Toy's spun for 16 seconds.
[Vasco] 16 seconds. A round of applause for Jessica and Toy! Very good!
Nuno Markl, who's next?
There's Marisa Liz and Gilmário.
A collective I've decided to call
"Marisário Lisemba."
One of them didn't know how to spin it, the other didn't know how to stop it.
Stuff that spins.
For the longest time possible. I've got it!
- [Markl] You do have 10 minutes to test it. - [Marisa] I think so, I think I've got it.
- Can we go to the shed, see if there's anything... - [Markl] Let's go.
[Gilmário] ...that spins well?
Okay.
What do we have here?
That will spin, spin, spin.
Dude, I haven't done this in years, but...
I sang a song called "Hula Hoop" in Popeline. [Portuguese 90's children's music girl band]
But does it have to spin here like...?
Or on the ground? How, exactly?
[Markl] Well, great question.
Would that be spinning...
...or rolling?
Can I begin?
It would be interesting if you sang the song while you're doing it.
- [Marisa] Okay. I'll try. - [Markl] I would like that.
- I'll blow the whistle and you'll begin. - [Marisa] Go.
♪ O hula hoop é bom para descontrair ♪ [Hula hooping is good for relaxing]
♪ Esquece a tristeza, põe-te a sorrir ♪ [Forget sadness, start smiling]
♪ Anda à volta da tua cintura ♪ [Goes around your hips]
♪ Nada mal para manter a figura ♪ [Not bad for keeping in shape]
At this point, you have six and a half minutes left.
Don't you want to give me ideas, man?
In the midst of all this, I can't see...
...the thing that I could make spin.
The song says, "around your hips". Umm...
♪ Hoop, anda, vem comigo dançar ♪ [Hoop, come, come with me and dance]
♪ Hu-hula hoop. ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
This is starting to hurt, you know?
- Can't you lower it a little? - Just slightly.
I'll try. I haven't done this in years.
♪ -tense up. ♪ [descontrair = relax / contraír = tense up]
♪ Forget sadness. ♪ It hasn't stopped!
- [Markl] Ah, okay. - ♪ ...smiling ♪
♪ Goes around your hips ♪
Can you get me a battery to put in here?
This would be a good thing to make spin.
The question is, even if there was a battery, would it work?
That's what always happens!
"With a battery, will it work?" I find the battery, and it never works.
- Was the song like...? [mocks Marisa's noises] - It was.
How much time, Markl?
[Gilmário] Until I have to spin it?
3 minutes.
Ah, 3 minutes isn't a lot.
- There's no materials! - 1 minute.
Dude, I'm impressed with myself.
I'm so glad you guys are filming this.
- Aren't you impressed? - I am, super (impressed).
I've never been able to do that.
This...spinning... I can't see anything that spins enough, Markl!
30 seconds.
Don't do that, Markl. Don't do that.
10 seconds.
9, 8, 7, 6, 5...
- I can't find anything. - 4, 3, 2, 1.
Ah, Gilmário, screw you.
Thank you, Gilmário.
I've never had a conversation with someone, like this, you know.
Yes, yes, it's weird.
- I don't think... - Imagine if, in post,
they digitally removed the hula hoop, and you would be just...
- Just like this, yeah? - You would just be doing that...
- Ah! Goddamnit! - Ah! Okay, okay, okay. It's stopped.
[Markl] Okay, Marisa, this was a great moment. Thank you so much.
- Bravo! - Do you wanna try?
- Noooo. I can try, but I really can't... - [Marisa] Go.
I just don't get the mechanics...
No, you have to move your hips.
[Marisa] It goes around your hips.
- [Markl] Yes, of course. - [Marisa] Yeah.
- Thank you. - No problem.
- You can go rest. - Thank you.
- That was incredible. - Yes, ma'am.
Sometimes, it's the limited materials we're given.
Give us a nail, at least.
[Markl] Are you upset?
Yeah...
[Markl sighs]
The tension was thick, just now.
Thank you.
Marisa, we've known each other for so long, and I hadn't a clue
that you were gifted in the art of hula hooping.
- [Markl] ♪ Hula hoop ♪ - [Marisa] Even I couldn't have imagined
[Marisa] that it would have gone so well.
When I finished all my tasks that day,
I went home and I was asked, "How did it go?"
And I'll be honest, I had the feeling that I had won everything.
No, my feeling was... "You don't understand, it was super easy!"
Such big talk! I get there, immediately get the box (and pipe)...
Immediately get, "Ah, hula hoop, super easy."
And now I realize that, no, I'm losing this, for sure.
- [Vasco] I don't know, I don't know. - And Markl's hand thing?
- Did no one notice that? - From what? The hula hoop?
Why this? Both times you did it, you did...
- Why this? - [Markl] I...
I would love to have an answer for you, Inês, but I don't.
Gilmário. It was complicated for you, we could see that,
because you couldn't find materials. Your words.
I've never missed a nail more in my life.
- The nail was for...? - The nail was for making a hole there, right?
And then keep that wheel in a secure place and make a...
- [Vasco] Okay. Yes. - [Markl] Some sort of spinning top.
[Vasco] Look, tell me the times.
- Well, Gilmário did 5 seconds. - [Vasco] Okay.
- Marisa did, overall, 1 minute 10. - [Vasco] Okay.
Damn!
Sorry.
- But there's some questions, Marisa. - No, but like... Okay.
- What's the question? - The question is...
- It had to spin by itself. - That's the question!
- But it was...! - [Markl] Was it spinning by itself?
Man, I'm never coming back.
- [Inês] They all say that. They all say that. - [Markl] But it was a great hula hoop show off!
- [Vasco] No one's taking that from you. - It was a great hula hoop show off.
[Vasco] Now...
Hula hooping requires constant movement from your body,
to generate centrifugal and centripetal force.
- [Vasco] What?! - [Markl] Damn!
- So...? - [Markl] Damn!
So... how am I going to say this?
You could have spun it a little, but then you had to stop
and see how long the hula hoop would spin on its own,
[Vasco] because you couldn't interfere. Do you understand what I'm saying?
I do, but I don't think that rule is cool.
[Markl] I love it.
[Vasco] Marisa!
0 points, I already know.
Just 1. Okay. Now...
We're still missing the task of Inês AP.
What did Inês Aires Pereira do?
Inês got an idea that, fortunately...
[Markl] ...for some parts of my body,
she put aside.
But if there were some things she put... aside,
there was one thing she put inside!
What did you do?
Well, now, all of a sudden...
Ah, if I used water, like the urinal fountain, when we did that... [Season 1, Episode 2]
- But you'd just be repeating it, right? - Right, unless you want to do a revival.
Unless you want a hose in your butt again.
Counting time?
[Inês mimics a clock]
Instead of being like an hourglass...
The clock! The seconds!
Shit, it's not working.
Battery! Battery, battery, battery!
- Where's a battery? - [Markl] I don't have one.
Hold on, the crew! The sound crew!
Crew! Ah, battery!
- I've got a battery! - And is it the same size?
It's started.
So that's it, then? That's your solution?
It's spinning.
- [Markl] That's what you want? - [Inês] Yes. - [Markl] Okay.
I put in the battery, clicked it, and it just started spinning.
- [Markl] Mmhmm. - Ah...it was so easy...
The others are going to see this...
Awwww ~ What did you guys do ~
Poor guys ~
Now, the question is, how long do you want this to go on for?
You need to kind of calculate how long the others did.
Oh, man...
But I could also just get on with my life while this keeps spinning here, right?
How's it looking? Did I win?
At the moment, you've got 1 minute and 6.
No, I'm going home and this stays here.
[Inês] How do you guys want to do this?
Do you want to say approximately when you want your task to end?
We'll take this to the studio.
- Oh, you want me to keep timing it? - And the task will end...there.
And on top of that, this battery must be brand new.
- Here you go. - Okay.
- [Inês] It's been a pleasure. - [Markl] Okay, Inês.
Being with you all.
MARKL!
I'm watching you!
Okay.
- [Inês] For the rest of your life. - Okay, okay.
- [Vasco] Gilmário, you didn't go for the clock. - [Markl] Right?
[Vasco] Inês went for it!
- After all, the clock was working, Gilmário. - See?
I wasn't given a battery because I'm a foreigner.
What were you telling Gilmário? Tell us.
- Earlier? - [Vasco] Yes.
He was saying, "Oh, so it ends now, at the studio?"
And I looked at him said, "Sorry."
- He didn't do it, I did. - She knew from the start that my idea would have worked.
- [Vasco] It would have. - But when I yelled "Battery!" Everyone just went, "Ah..."
But I went after the bat...tery. (pilha = battery / pila = penis)
- That one was on purpose ~ - [Vasco] You went after the battery.
And you wanted the clock to be here?
- And it is, it has to be! - [Vasco] It has to be?
[Markl] Let's see if they bring us the clock, shall we?
[Vasco] Is the clock here?
- [Vasco] Justo [crew], is the clock here or not? - [Inês] Is the clock here? - [Justo] It is, it is.
- [Inês] See? There it is. - [Markl] Here's the clock.
- [Markl] It's here. - [Vasco] It is, it is! It's working.
- [Vasco] It's working, yes. - [Markl] Uh...
Inês' task has lasted for 10 days...
8 hours...
[Markl] 22 minutes...
...and 15 seconds.
16. 17. 18. 19. 20...
- [Vasco] Could I check something with the clock? - [Markl] Yes, yes, yes.
[Inês] Oh, there just had to be something.
This is just so... Nothing's for free, here.
The task said, "spin for the longest time possible."
This seconds hand. Stops. Every second.
There are clock hands that never stop and always spin.
You, yourself, when you thought of the clock, you said, "It spins, like..."
[Vasco mimics a clock]
But this clock doesn't go...
[Vasco mimics a clock]
Listen, I...
- Relax, sister, don't stress! - That's what I need to...
Calm yourself! Relax, it's just a clock!
I understand that this is just a game, and I'm on TV.
But if this doesn't count... Ah...
Inês...
I don't agree with this! I don't!
♪ Já começam a fazer ameaças ♪ [They've started threatening us] ["Guerra Nuclear", António Variações & Marisa Liz]
- I've thought of an excuse that could save Inês, actually. - Yes?
[Markl] The seconds hand goes,
tak, tak, tak, tak.
- [Vasco] Yes. - However, the hours and minutes hands go...
[Audience oohs and claps]
- I've just thought of that. - Do you really think that,
if I decided to slowly spin like that for 24 hours,
if you looked at me, you would say, "That dude's spinning"?
If you put it in ti...timelapse, you'd be spinning!
Let's put it this way. The world is spinning. Is anyone here noticing it?
- [Inês] Sorry. - [Markl] Now, the question is:
1 second, or 10 days?
[Various audience members] Days!
I'm going to stick to my opinion, Inês. I'm not cheating. I'm not cheating.
[Vasco] That's really the way I see it.
The clock stops every second.
That's my way of looking at this situation.
It's not cheating at all.
[Vasco] So, let's get to the scoring.
And we'll start, then, with...
Marisa, unfortunately, it moved, but not by itself.
[Vasco] So, you tell me.
According to a study conducted by the Taskmaster...
[Markl] Marisa's got 1 point. Inês, 2 points.
[Markl] Gilmário, 3. Toy, 4.
[Markl] And Jessica, 5 points.
[Vasco] Very well. Applause for everybody!
So, with these scores, let's check the leaderboard.
[Vasco] How's it looking now?
[Markl] At this time, Toy has 17 points,
[Markl] followed by Gilmário with 12,
[Markl] Jessica with 11,
[Markl] Inês with 9,
[Markl] and Marisa Liz with 8 points.
[Vasco] Applause for our wonderful contestants!
Next task! My dear Nuno, what do we have ahead?
Dear Taskmaster, we have a task that combines
the song that gave António Calvário the win at the 1964 Festival ["Oração" / "Prayer"]
the universal symbol of commitment,
and something fundamental for playing the drums.
I would say I'm confused, but I know exactly what you're saying, and I like it.
You may know, but nobody else does.
Up until now.
- My man Toy! - Hello!
A supportive hug for this task.
Peas?
- Stay strong. - You're lifting my morale.
A supportive hug for this task.
- What's happening? - Why would you hug me?
- Why? - Because of this task.
Stay strong. Stay strong, Gilmário, okay?
You have to overcome your fear.
No? Come on.
- Howdy! - Hi!
Before anything else.
Be careful, because this will be...
You're pushing me forward.
- This will be... - Disgusting?
...Hard. Okay? But...
Before you start.
I encourage you to stay strong during this task.
- If I'm supposed to eat this, I can't. - This will be tough.
No, I can't.
You have given me a hug, and I don't even know what the task is.
"Join your hands together so your palms are touching"
Like a prayer, right? Like this, right?
[Markl] Yes.
"and each finger of one hand is touching the equivalent finger of the other hand."
"Your hands must stay in this position for the entirety of the task."
"Now turn the task over."
[Markl] With your fingers like that.
"Put the most rings on this drumstick."
Rings? Why is this stuff in here?
"You have five minutes. Your time starts now."
Where are the rings?
Right, with their hands stuck together, they had to find the rings
and then place them on the drumstick.
Let's see how Toy and Gilmário did.
- Stay strong looking for the rings. - Where are the rings?
[Markl] Search for them.
With his mouth!
I saw one.
Awesome.
Another one?
Where's the bag's opening?
[Markl] It looks good on you. It looked good on your toe.
Well, I didn't want it go there.
Disgusting!
There's a ring over here!
When you hugged me, you put the ring there.
Are there any more rings?
There are.
Is it good?
It is.
Disgusting!
Any more?
It is with great joy that I say: "One left."
Any more?
All done.
Shiro!
Can you help me? On me.
On you?
I don't see anything.
I believe time's up.
Where's the last one?
Do you want to see where it is?
There are five, then?
Where is it?
- I swear I don't know where it is. - It here.
Damn, it was well hidden.
[Markl] You gave your all in this task.
Goodbye. I'm so happy.
[Toy] Pissed off.
One missing, was it?
No, because it was tangled in the...
perhaps in the wool she brought.
Man, and I just didn't see it.
Gimário, how was the task?
To me, this task was tasty.
For the first time, a combo of peas and honey.
We've seen that there were some rings for Toy.
There were also rings for Gilmário. We started off strong. Who's up next, Markl?
Up next, we have Inês and Jessica who, even before the rings
found a new challenge all on their own.
Where are the rings? Over here?
Show me.
Keep going.
Damn, not even the box is easy.
Damn, cardboard and paper on my mouth gives me chills.
Do you get them, too?
You got to be kidding me.
I could swear I saw a ring in here.
Hmmm...
- "Hmmm" what? - Nothing.
- Just thinking. - What are you thinking?
This raise? The palms are together, the fingertips are touching each other.
Fingernails, right?
This is disgusting.
Four down, one to go.
There's one left? Where?
I could have sworn I saw one here, man.
C'mon, tell me where it is. I want to finish this one.
Bastard. How did this happen?
Which one?
No, no, NO, no, no, no, NO!
[Jessica] Don't blow that whistle!
- Your time's up. - I'm still gonna do this.
Alelelelelelelelelelelele! [Korobeiniki, aka Tetris Theme]
I have three more than the others will.
Thank you very much Inês, thanks.
I've won this one!
Alelelelelelele!
[Vasco] Inês is happy!
[Markl] That was the Tetris song.
I won't celebrate.
Just for you to tell me in the end it went between the fingers.
- And that wasn't allowed. - What I'll say,
and I looked carefully. You haven't cheated.
About the--
Alelelelelelelelelelelele!
Jessica, hardest thing in this task?
Was it the honey? Messing with all of that? Not really your thing?
- Look, I got a bit disgusted. - Was it awful for you?
Awful, but even so...
- Even so, you did really well. - I did really well.
- You didn't cheat. - I didn't use rings I had on my fingers.
- You had rings on your fingers? - I did.
- On all of them. - On all of them?
- Does it count? - We'll speak in the end.
Marisa Liz is who we have left, right?
Exactly. And Vasco, you, just like me, are a fan of the song "Guerra Nuclear" (Nuclear War)
that Marisa sings with António Variações.
You know that line "I will pray, I will beg"
- I do. - I have a feeling that this task
she prayed and begged for me to blow the whistle
and end the task after the first 10 seconds.
Has someone cleaned this?
Everything is clean.
Yeah, I really believe that.
This isn't proper for my height.
- A bit tall isn't it? - A bit tall for me.
Nice!
Any rings left?
Any ring--oh, over here.
- I'll bet there's rings inside of those. - Three minutes.
[Marisa] Damn, man, really?
- [Marisa] Sorry. - [Markl] It's a normal bakery product.
[Markl] Okay.
I didn't say it was over.
There's one left.
There aren't any left.
Aren't there?
Where?
[Markl] 30 seconds.
Damn man, there are no rings left, Nuno.
- Where? - Look at you, do a little dance, shake.
Who put this on me?
[Markl] Hands, hands, hands!
[Markl] Hands, hands!
[Markl] Hands, hands, hands! They must press.
No! I think I deserve it!
You know that Marisa has been a great casting when she says
"I think I deserve it!"
- [Markl] It was really dramatic. - [Vasco] Was it as hard as it looked?
I believe my problem is reading.
I'm starting to realize things I haven't realized for years.
And what I read
was that I couldn't touch with my hands anywhere.
So, all this stupidity.
- Yes? - Was because I thought that I was
doing everything by the book.
But I believe everyone saw my effort.
- [Markl] It was. - Wasn't it?
And that's worth points, dammit.
It's worth mentioning that this task said "join your hands together,"
"each finger is touching," but we should talk about the rings.
Because it only said, "put the most rings."
[Markl] Yes, that's right. That's what the task said.
It didn't specify which ones. It only said "rings."
- [Markl] The most rings. - [Vasco] Okay. Tell me how many.
Jessica got 4 rings in 4 minutes and 45 seconds.
Toy got 4 rings in 4 minutes and 42 seconds.
Marisa got 4 rings in 3 minutes and 23 seconds.
Gilmário got all 5 rings, and Inês got 8 rings.
[Vasco] Okay. So, let's put that into points.
Jessica gets 1 point.
Toy gets 2 points. Marisa gets 3 points.
Gilmário gets 4 points, and Inês gets 5 points.
[Vasco] Applause for the People of the Rings!
[Markl] Toy is still in the lead with 19 points, with Gilmário behind on 16.
Inês is in the middle of the table with 14, Jessica has 12,
and Marisa has 11 points.
[Vasco] Applause for all of them!
And what is up next, my dear Nuno?
- That thing we rehearsed. - The thing we rehearsed?
[Vasco] Wait a bit, there.
I won't put my hand where they normally do, all right? Thanks.
- Hello, Nuno! - Hello, Vasco!
Well, Nuno, will we have another task?
Yes, yes! A very cool task!
[Vasco] A team task?
Yes...
And no!
Vasco!
Can I sing a tune?
Is it okay?
["Markl"] Can I?
- You're very heavy. Press the button. - Okay, okay. - Because here it comes...
The good magic!
Already laughing?
[Markl] This is good.
This is good? You think I'll like this?
- [Markl] Yes, yes. - [Jessica] Yes, yes, yes, yes?
"Make the best ventrículo..." ["ventricle"]
"Ventríloquo..." ["ventriloquist"]
"Ventrículo..." ["ventricle"]
Ventri-what?
"Ventríloquo!" ["ventriloquist"]
[Markl] I don't know the English word, Jessica.
I don't know it either, so...
[Markl] "Ventriloquist," isn't it?
Oh, it's those dolls that...
"Most seductive ventriloquist dummy wins."
"You have 30 minutes, and your scene must last at least 30 seconds."
"Your time starts now."
I'll make the dummy.
Ventriloquist means that I need to use my hand?
Or not?
- This was miserable. - [Markl] It was.
Notice that some of our contestants read to make the best ventricle dummy.
It's true, Vasco.
Nuno, if I was creating a ventricle dummy,
What would it be like?
The dummy would be a heart chamber, pumping blood through the circulatory system
through the aortic artery in the left ventricle's case, and to the pulmonary circulation through the pulmonary artery,
in the right ventricle's case.
And that wasn't what we asked for?
No, but now that I've thought about it, I wish it had been.
- Exactly, me too. - Exactly.
We asked for a ventriloquist dummy, and it needed to be a seductive dummy.
May I ask before each contestant's performance,
would you like to see a little montage
of how these five ventriloquists made their seductive dummies?
Well, I do want to, but I don't know if the world is ready for this.
[Markl] It isn't, Vasco.
I swear you that it isn't.
Tape is always good. Helps a lot.
No one will pick up that fucking trash bin for me?
Most seductive. Just wait.
[Jessica] What happened?
I don't know what really...
[Markl] Looks like it's floating.
There's a smell...
Inês will be very good at this.
[Markl] Will she?
Ugh!
[Markl] Is it seductive?
[Inês] Ah! What was this?
The face needs to be seductive. Can it be the voice instead?
Let's see if you're seduced after looking at him.
"Look at this big mouth. I'll open my mouth just for you."
I'll cut the sock, what the hell.
Everything alright?
Cute, Jessica. You were making a real scene.
Wow, good thing I brought two pairs.
Total chance. I don't know why I brought two pairs of socks.
Look at it from this angle, doesn't its face look like this?
You can see it, can't you?
And just like that: Inês trashed a bin, Marisa ruined a sock,
Gilmário made some eyes on a pool noodle,
Toy looked like he was asking for help while lost in the Atlantic Ocean,
And Jessica made a penis.
Now, we'll see the tasks proper. And who will we start with?
With Inês Aires Pereira, and a dummy that has health problems.
Lima, you were here?
Yeah, but I'm as beautiful as the sun. It's difficult to even look at me head-on.
My light will blind you, princess.
It's so good!
Lima, are you trying to seduce me?
Yeah. I'm super seductive. I have a lot of style.
Can you say that again?
I'm super seductive.
LIMA!
Your breath smells awful, Lima!
You smell like fish. Close your mouth.
- Why? - Close your mouth!
- Why? - Close your mouth!!
Oh, but I thought I had a lot of style.
How about this: eat some mints, and then you can continue seducing me, okay?
That's better, Lima.
That's better. Your breath is fresh, and you have a lot of style.
Congratulations, Lima.
Thanks.
You're incredible.
I can't stand the smell.
Thanks. You're incredible.
You're the coolest of them all.
(Aaaah!)
Very good, Inês, taking advantage of the bin opening.
[Inês] It was hard.
Do the bin face again, how the bin looked?
Thanks for that.
Look, why did you give up using your foot and switch to your hand?
Because it was hard.
- The first ones were easy to do, and after... - [Vasco] Yes.
- [Markl] All of this, all of this... - [Vasco] Okay.
- [Markl] Moving forward. - [Vasco] Let's go.
But I really liked the foot. Who's next, Nuno?
- Next is Toy and his dummy. - Okay.
Hello all! Be welcome! Hello, Toy!
Hello, my love! You're so perfect today!
Ah, because I'm on Taskmaster, do-do-do-do-ing a t-task to en-en-chant
And I wanted to sing you that song
♪ Sensual és tão sensual ♪ [Sensual, you're so sensual] [Toy's song, És Tão Sensual]
♪ Tens o ar de mulher fatal ♪ [You have the air of a femme fatale] [Toy's song, És Tão Sensual]
You sounded like Toy, singing with that full vibrato on his voice.
For God's sake, how did you do that?
Well, you know I have this vibration...
Do you like it?
Oh, I like it, but we could have written a better script
because this sucks hard.
That doesn't matter.
What matters is the pride and passion I have
for singing your songs.
So, you're enjoying me?
So, you have no shame in making sad figures?
Me? Sad figures?
I'm in love with you! And here you have a seduction
full of balloons.
Feathers.
Beautiful things. Smoke.
It's that you, you, you are...
Okay, I know I'm dumb. Let's finish talking.
You know what? It's time to go. Goodbye!
Goodbyyyyyyyyyyye!
So, goodbye.
Don't miss the next episode of "The Misadventures of Toy."
[Vasco] Bravo!
What was that animal?
It was a rabbit, wasn't it? I noticed it was a bunny.
Something happened there that happens a lot:
when we talk through a closed mouth, we don't say the "P"s.
- [Vasco] "P"s and "T"s. - [Markl] "P"s are hard.
[Vasco] "Toy, I'm a rabbit!"
It's complicated.
One more round of applause for Toy and his effort.
Who's next on this cool variety show, dear Nuno?
You remember today's task with the tube and the box?
- Of course. - Did you like the task?
Unlike Marisa, I liked it a lot.
Well, Gilmário Vemba liked it even more
and couldn't forget one of the main components of the task.
Cota Tubo, this is the task. I don't know if you're looking.
This is what needs to be done.
[indecipherable] let me see it.
"Make the best dummy."
You think I'm a dummy?
No, Cota, I don't think you're a dummy. It's just the task.
And it even needs to be seductive?
Damn, maybe try to conquer a girl at home.
I'll say a few words, and if they fall, they'll know that
I'm a guy who when I conquer, conquers fairly.
As I've said: I'm Cota Tubo. I'm a tube. I'm Cota Tubo.
All parts of my body are tube!
It's like this, cuties at home: if you like tube
It's Co-Cota Tubo.
It's like that with me. Tubing!
There's no need for words when you get home.
Tubing!
Baby, if you want the best plumbing for your body, talk with Cota Tuuuuuubo.
That's what they call me.
Get it from the tube.
Look at the quality.
It's very tube.
Only tube.
Thanks, Cota Tubo.
I think people liked me.
Okay, Cota Tubo, it was a pleasure meeting you.
You want some tube?
I'm good, thanks.
If you need it, don't hesitate.
- [Markl] Okay. - There's enough tube for everyyyyyyyyyyone.
Okay. Thanks so much, Cota Tubo.
- It's the tube talking. - It is. It is. It is.
- Many thanks, Gilmário. - Let's go shopping, Cota Tubo.
[Markl] It is.
You'll make a lot of money with that doll. That dummy.
With tubing.
I win.
Okay.
Calm, Tubo.
[Gilmário] You also needed to... You didn't need to exaggerate.
- At one point, Gilmário was in a trance with the dummy. - He was?
"Cota Tubo. Tubing. Tubing! Cota Tuuuubo..."
Did you already know Cota Tubo? Did you previously have the idea for a character named Cota Tubo?
Or did you get the idea there?
I think it should exist. This dummy should be produced.
I think there should be Cota Tubo T-shirts.
- [Gilmário] Cota Tubo. - [Markl] I think after tonight there should be...
- ...Tons of t-shirts. - [Gilmário] Mass-produced.
- Cota Tubo! - [Markl] Of Cota Tubo. - Tubing!
Something I noticed was your talent of talking without moving your lips.
With age and experience, anyone can do it.
It's nothing. Tubing!
Next on the list! Who's the next dummy we'll see?
Let's see Marisa Liz, with a story worthy of a children's book
if the writer had the habit of running into the road fully naked,
wearing some of the armbands from Frozen
and a hat from Carmen Miranda
while singing "I Believe I Can Fly."
It's that type of children's book. Let's see.
'Scuse me.
My name is Verónica.
I'm a cabaret dancer.
Do you want to see me dance?
Also, I'm not Portuguese.
[Marisa] Toy, save me.
I will show it to you.
I don't want to.
But I have nothing better to do.
[indecipherable]
Try to stand up, and watch me start my show.
My beauty is causing you to fall over!
[Marisa hums generic cabaret music]
I was great, man.
[Markl] Was it a striptease?
It was a... Verónica, she's a cabaret dancer
who does striptease for pigeons.
[Markl] Okay.
And when she finishes,
when the cabaret dance ends...
They live.
[Markl] Okay.
They're reborn. Like a phoenix.
And fly.
[Markl] I see.
- Wasn't that incredible? - [Markl] Yes, it was.
- You're dead. - [Markl] Verónica, the cabaret dancer
[Markl] who did seductive dances for pigeons.
It's an amazing children's book.
Okay, that was incredible.
It's good that I do music and not this.
- Thanks, Nuno. - [Markl] Thanks a lot. - That was spectacular.
- [Markl] I liked it a lot. - Count on me tomorrow. - [Markl] Okay.
I knew Marisa was getting exhausted just by her explanation.
- Yes. - Ouch.
- When? Now? - [Markl] During the explanation.
- I was there all day. - [Markl] Yes, you were, weren't you?
Yes, you all should follow up.
"So, how are things? You're good?"
[Marisa] "Hello, good evening!"
[Markl] "Hello, cheers!"
I want you to tell me more about this... (mumbles) *cabaret dancer*...
Listen, I thought I wasn't understanding anything about the cabaret dancer,
until the pigeon arrived.
And when the pigeon spoke...
- [Markl] But the pigeon had a deeper voice? - It did, it did.
The pigeon wasn't even alive, but was incredulous.
What did the pigeon say to the cabaret dancer?
I have no idea, because pigeons don't talk, Vasco.
[Vasco] Thanks, Marisa.
And now there's only Jessica Athayde left.
Yes, Vasco. Jessica is an actress. She's made movies,
television series, soap operas, everything.
Because of that, we needed a story here. An story with intrigue, with jealousy,
an story of impossible love.
Simillar to Titanic.
My dear, you don't even know how apt that comparision is.
Oh, Markl! When I saw that you liked my Tinder profile,
I didn't want to believe it was you!
Well, Helena, that was my mother's name.
Oh, is that why you liked me immediately,
because I have your mother's name?
And also because I saw that you like board games.
Oh, yes.
My favorite game is - QUACK! - "The Man Who Bit the Dog."
WOOF! WOOF!
Oh, I don't like dogs.
That doesn't matter.
My dogs at home are all friendly.
And if you're saying I can meet your dogs, then I...
[Gilmário] Fall! Fall!
I have a big fear of dogs, because I'm a duck.
You're a duck?
Yes, yes! On your profile, you said you liked everything.
Yes, yes. It's true, it's true. I, as a broadcaster...
[Gilmário] Go, Jessica!
...Broadcaster and big presenter that I am,
of Taskmaster, I...
I like a bit of everything.
Oh, that makes me feel more relaxed.
Quack! Quack!
Being a duck,
I have to be very cautious with my feathers.
That's fine by me, Helena.
Oh, I like it so much when you call me Helena.
Quack! Quack!
The End!
That didn't turn out how I wanted.
But it was different than anything I've ever seen in my entire life.
Maybe even in all of television history.
I'm soaked.
My ass is wet.
I can...
- You can? - [Jessica] ...explain. - Tell me everything.
- Why the boat...? - [Toy] And the blue balloons?
[Vasco] Tell me everything.
Why didn't Jessica fall off the boat?
[Gilmário] I was waiting for that.
[Markl] The blue balloons intrigued me.
I had smoke, balloons, a pigeon
who was supposed to be a character.
But then I couldn't deal with (the cutout) Markl and all of that.
- In the pool. - And the truth is that I thought my idea would be incredible.
- And it was just like... - It was just sad.
So I would like to ask if it's possible
to remove this part from this episode.
[Vasco] Of course not!
Let's just figure out the scores for that last filmed task.
And then there will be a studio task that will decide who will win.
- Can I just not be last? - I'll give Jessica one point.
- Last already? - Two points to Marisa.
- Two? - I'll give three points to Toy, four to Inês,
and five to Gilmário Vemba
- [Vasco] and his Cota Tubo! - [Markl] Cota Tubo!
- Great job! - It's all in the pipes!
That means we will add this task's points to the total.
And at this time, the score is like this.
[Markl] At front is still Toy with 22 points.
[Markl] Next, Gilmário with 21, Inês with 18,
and Jessica and Marisa tied with 13 points.
Very good!
This means that, on the final task, if either Marisa or Jessica win,
Toy will win today's episode.
If Toy wins the final challenge,
it's Toy who wins.
If Gilmário wins, then Gilmário will win.
And if it's Inês, then Inês wins.
So it's all open. Either Inês, Gilmário, or Toy
will be today's big winner.
And that will be decided!
In just a minute in our challenge here in the studio.
Applause for our five extraordinary contestants!
Inês, Gilmário, Jessica, Toy and Marisa Liz.
Let's go ahead to the final task here at our studio
where everything gets decided. Markl, who will read the task?
- Our guest, Marisa Liz. - Okay, great.
- Oh, sure, because I'm the best at reading, right? - Exactly.
- Thanks! - [Markl] In the end, you need to practice.
"Place one or more doughnuts on your stick."
We're one phrase in...
"You have 100 seconds, after which the person with the lowest unique whole number"
"of doughnuts on their stick wins."
"In the event of there being no unique numbers, the task will be replayed"
"until there is a winner."
[Vasco] Okay.
"I really enjoyed being here..."
No, it's not there.
We want the lowest unique whole number of doughnuts.
[Markl] Right.
You have 100 seconds for your task.
You can and should bluff.
You must have at least one doughnut.
You can't leave it empty. Okay?
Okay.
[Vasco] Let's go to the doughnuts.
[Jessica] So. I can't win this one, so...
- [Marisa] I've put 3. - [Toy] I'll stay with 5.
- [Inês] No, I'm the one who... - [Toy] Can I put half of one?
[Vasco] No!
Oh...
- I have no clue about what I should do! - Oh, Inês!
- [Marisa] There, done. - [Vasco] You won't change it?
- I won't change it. - Neither will I.
- I've had enough - [Jessica] I'm also done.
- I'm also done. - [Inês] Wait, I'm not done.
Are you happy with your choice?
- I say we end it right now. - 40 seconds.
- I can't make up my mind. - While you're thinking
I want to remind the viewers who have only just turned on the TV
that the shepherd behind Nuno Markl is a prize.
He's a prize that whoever wins tonight will take home.
If you want to change your mind, Nuno, how long do they have?
- 10 seconds. - 10 seconds.
What about you? You left one in there, I bet.
- Are you taking one out? - How much left Markl?
- 5 seconds. - 4, 3, 2, 1...
What about now?
[Vasco] It's over.
Inês always wins these tasks.
[Jessica] No, she doesn't ALWAYS win.
- [Vasco] One! - Did you put one, too?
- [Gimário] It's always Inês who wins it. - [Vasco] Gimário.
- [Vasco] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. - [Markl] 5 doughnuts. - Inês has the lead.
Inês has the lead right now.
[Vasco] Jessica. Two.
- [Inês] Did you put one? - [Marisa] I won't tell!
[Vasco] Toy. How many did you put?
[Vasco] Two.
This means if Marisa has two or more,
Inês will win it.
- [Gimário] Marisa has three. - [Inês] Did you put one?
OH! OHHH! I'm the only one with this!
Wait a second. Inês and Marisa have one.
- Toy? - Two and two.
- [Vasco] That means... - Two, one, one, five, the last!
Tonight's winner is:
Gilmário Vemba!
With all of you. With all of you.
Thank you Portugal, for this chance.
It's the first time in my life that I've won an award.
And you can even eat it!
Thank you.
Thank you, Master.
Applause for Gilmário Vemba!
Thanks, Gilmário!
Before we leave, here's tonight's lesson.
So what have we learned today on Taskmaster?
Tonight, what did we learn?
Throw a wild party if you've ever caught yourself feeling low.
Call friends, and watermelon at their face you should throw.
Relax, let yourself loose, and stay carefree.
And if you want more of it, shout, "Gimme! Gimme!"
Do whatever you want, do what you love to do.
What you're looking for might be right behind you.
Make a friend for life, with a tube or a shoe for tennis
Your mate, perhaps, will have a face like a penis!
Ladies and Gentlemen, this was Taskmaster. Good night!
TASKMASTER WORLDWIDE INCORPORATED
BRAZILIAN AND EUROPEAN PORTUGUESE TEAMS
TRANSLATION BY MAFFU, DUDUPATIFINHO, JOÃOMARCOS14 AND BIBO
PROOFREADING AND SYNC BY U/CHEQUEDUMMY
SECOND PROOFREADING BY TOMOTHY
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM AND TWITTER! @TMWORLDWIDEINC