Mel becomes a banana lamp which gets turned on by curry

Mel begins to name types of furniture, including ‘mattress’, which she claims is her old high school nickname.

She then asks if a lamp is furniture, before deciding that’s what she’s going to become. When Tom Cashman asks whether he is going to have to “turn on the lamp” (implying sexually), Mel smirks, and tells him that, yes, that is his job.

Tom enters the study to find Mel standing on a skateboard in the middle of the room, with an umbrella open above her head, and a banana-themed lamp stuck into her belt. Stating that it’s good to be home, Tom points out that it’s a bit dark.

To begin turning the lamp on, Tom tells it that he guesses it’s had a big day, so he has brought home two butter chickens, instead of just one. When the banana lamp lights up, Tom observes “I’ve turned the lamp on.”

Mel then says to Tom, “Look at you. God, you’re gorgeous. You’re fascinating, aren’t you? A big, tall drink of water.”, prompting him to state that the charm is really lighting up the room, but that it also has shade. Mel then says, “Nice whistle, bitch! What are you, a PE teacher? Bus driver?”.

Tom then announces that he wants to turn the lamp off, so he tells it that he always wears transition lenses. The banana light immediately turns off in response.

Tom then attempts to roll the lamp on its wheels, but the skateboard doesn’t really work on the rug.

In the studio, Tom Gleeson says that, compared to Pete, Mel’s lamp was very stylish.

When Tom then asks “Two curries turn you on. What does three do?”, Mel responds “That’s a mop and bucket situation", thus coining the episode title. Tom claims that the same thing happens whenever Lesser Tom sees a few business cards.

Mel earns 3 points.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by JoGo & Will G and adjusted by David Fuller)